The kitsune woman looked me over, distinctly unimpressed, and tapped her cigarette holder on the table’s edge. “Zannen, looks like our new kouhai is rather lacking in manners.”

The fish-man shook his head, and the cigarette smoke above his head formed into rainclouds which started pattering onto the table. “Ai, capishe, it is the most pitiable thing.”

The goblin was getting up from his seat, hand on a knife. “I’ll flay you alive, irritable cat! You’ll be rolled up into a barrel and dumped into the deepest depths!”

“Comrade, it is nasty business to make a mess like that!” The fourth player said, a diminutive looking dark elf with a predatory smile. I logged her as the most dangerous of the bunch.

The fish-man brought a strong hand to the goblin’s shoulder, and pushed him back down to his seat. “Ai, you are always polluting my waters with those disposals of yours—please restrain yourself. We have a game to play, no?” He gestured at the tiles in the table.

“That we do, Sergio-san, but I fear there is a grave issue.” The fox woman said, then pointed at the table’s four sides, then up at me. “A new player has arrived, and yet, the table is full?”

Her eyes turned up to me. “Do you see our issue?”

I inhaled, trying to form a plan to approach this conversation. Her implication was clear—the four people seated at the table were the players. I was the intruder. By blocking the goblins from taking over our dungeon, I had intruded in their games.

However, I had an ace up my sleeve. Smiling confidently, I turned to the fox lady and gave my best formal bow. See—she had a katana, a kimono, and was spouting out phrases of Japanese like the worst sort of caricature.

But I had studied Japanese for one whole semester back in school.

“Ohaiyou gozaimasu, ojousama,” I said, with my best winning smile.

The fox lady tensed, a hand going to her sword. “You wish to dishonor me so? You don’t even use the traditional honorifics of your kin?”

I froze, confused. Was my pronunciation really that bad? Then—I thought over her words. My kin? Then my eyes flashed with inspiration. But of course! I was a catgirl, if I was going to attempt Japanese…

I kowtowed onto the floor. “Gomennaisai-nya! Machigaimashita-nya.”

Her hand went back from the sword handle, and I rose up hesitantly. She was smiling warmly. “Ah, you honour me with your words.”

I nodded carefully. “Apologies for my mishap, I have had a long day.”

“Understandable, understandable. But—” her eyes went back to the table where the other players waited with stony faces. “I’m afraid we still lack a place.”

“I’ll move,” the dark elf at the table said, standing up. She brought the seat out, and gestured for me to sit in it, tipping her fedora. “It is a senior’s duty to look after their juniors.”

I nodded a thanks at herm, then sat down and eyed the mahjong tiles in front of me.

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“Ai, shall we get on with the game then?” Sergio, the fish-man asked, looking at the other players.

I nodded, drew a tile from the wall, and confidently placed one of my own into the center among the other discarded ones.

I had no idea what the rules for the game was, but I figured that as long as I smiled and tried to mimic the others, things wouldn’t go too bad.

The goblin went after me, but he didn’t even look at his tiles. His eyes stayed locked to me the whole time, even as his fingers deftly picked out a tile and then discarded one of his own. “Riichi,” He declared. “The game will be mine soon.”

I knew that bit of the rules, something vague from the yakuza games I had used to play. He’s one tile away from winning… I think they say “Ron” if they get their winning one or something like that…

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” I said, smiling back. I placed another tile to the table, picked at random.

A hand stopped mine, midair. The fish-man. He glared at me with irritation. “It is not your turn.”

“Oh, sorry.”

He shook his head, then picked and played his own tiles for the turn. “It is troublesome when new blood shows up on the scene. Always a lot of blood to clean up. Ai, they always end up sleeping with the fishies, but we are no necrophiliacs. Please be more mindful.”

“Sergio-san, you truly lack refinement with speech like that,” the fox woman said, shaking her head. She completed her own turn, then gestured back at me. “Don’t make a fool of yourself again, kouhai.”

I shook my head. “Absolutely not! In fact…” I grinned up at the goblin, drew a tile, then discarded one at random. “I am confident that I have the winning move ready to go.”

“I will skin you alive, wench,” He hissed.

“Manners!” The dark elf shouted from behind him, a cigarette on her lips. “We are civilized people here, no?”

The goblin grumbled under his breath, drew a tile, grimaced, discarded it, then went back to glaring at me. He was really trying to set up some sort of rivalry situation here, wasn’t he? But I wouldn’t win by only playing defense. I needed information.

“I’ve heard talk of heroic spirits from other worlds,” I said one my next turn, once gain picking tiles at random. I eyed the others at the table. “Honoured seniors, have you come by any, perchance?”

The dark elf walked closer to the table, measuring me with a calculating gaze. She smiled with sharp lips. “We have many comrades in our service, and many of them are quite heroic. Other worlds? I have no idea what you mean.” She winked.

“Ai, much trouble they are!” The fish man declared, slamming his own tiles down with the force of a thunderstorm. His droopy eyes fixed me with a cold stare. “Is that your origin, then? Are you mixed up in that sort then, new blood?”

“Such spirits are always full to the brim with innovative ideas,” the fox lady drawled. She placed a tile down gently, like a general moving a chess piece. “Much profits to be had.”

So they all do know about them, and from the sound of it, have people of their own… How common exactly are isekai people here? This is really lowering my main character energy here…

The game went on, with careful prods being traded back and forth as each of the players took their measure of me. They did not seem too impressed—but then again—I had never understood the way in which people tried to divine personalities through board games.

I preferred more direct methods. It was time to make my move.

I laid down a tile, then smiled up a the goblin who had been growling threats at me for the whole game. A weak setup for a rivalry if he wanted one, and foolish betrayals of his intent otherwise.

He took his eyes off me for a second, picked a tile, then checked it, and his eyes brightened. He slammed it to the table face up, and sprang up from his seat.

“Ro—” he began to say.

“Ron,” I finished, bringing my right hand up from under the table. His eyes flashed to me.

Then I shot him in the face.

BANG

A hole blossomed with red on his forehead, and he staggered back, an expression of victory frozen on his face. I stood up and aimed my gun at him.

BANG BANG BANG

A corpse with four holes in it fell down into a puddle of blood. I blew the smoke out of the barrel of my gun, then eyed the other players at the table. They were all staring at me, frozen in their places. The other henchmen in the room were glued to their seats.

I scoffed. “What, did you really think I was going to let him have a go at me?”

The fox-kin started laughing.