The cat strutting in the grass was pudgy, black, fuzzy and absolutely adorable—I was only barely holding myself back from reaching out to pet it.

Mainly because it was talking.

“Now, procure nourishment for me, servant.”

I blinked my eyes, then pinched my cheek to make sure I was not dreaming, then continued staring at it. My fingers were twitching—Maybe just one pat…

The cat flipped open an eyelid and twirled its tail, and its voice grew even haughtier than before. “Are you deaf, fool? I gave you an order.”

My ears twitched.

This cat—this cat that was just lounging right there on the forest floor—was making demands of me?

“Just who are you to make orders of me?” I asked, glaring at the thing.

It rose up, languidly stretching, then started walking around me, gradually, calmly, in a slow circle. “Who am I? Why, I am your master, of course. I summoned you here after all.”

My ears twitched again. The last thing I remembered… I had just been clocking out of my shift at the café, heading home, when there had been a strange light—

I snapped out, like a lurking crocodile, and yanked the cat into my arms. It started thrashing out with sharp claws and hissing, so I shifted my grip to the scruff of its neck and held it up in the air.

The hissing stopped, and the cat slowly calmed, retracting its claws back inside their paws.

It glared, and a cat sure knew how to do that well. “Unhand me, you fiend! What insubordination is this?”

“Did I—” I shook the cat, “—give you permission to summon me here? Let me guess, some stupid different world? And you think you can just boss me around?”

“Agh—please—stop—that!”

I stopped shaking the cat around and turned it to face my eyes. I knew how to glare too—and how to manage naughty cats. I hadn’t run a cat café for 5 years with no skill at all.

“Another... world?” The cat asked, confused. It stared at me, no longer glaring. Just confused.

“Yes, another world! I’m not even Japanese, or still in high school! I haven’t read one of those books in 3 years! I was supposed to be past this phase!”

With a final shake, I let go, and the cat fell to the ground with a feline grace. It swished its tail around, agitated and stared at me dubiously. “But I didn’t try to summon an otherworld… Those are always more trouble than they are worth.”

I crossed my arms under my bosom. “Well, what did you do then? You summoned me here, didn’t you?”

Like an arrow, its tail pointed at me. “I did nothing strange. I just finally had enough mana for it, so I used [Summon Catgirl].”

My ears twitched, my tail straightened out, and my claws drew out. A what? I saw something at the corner of my eye, and turned to follow it, but it sped out to the side. I stopped chasing my own tail. Then I felt at my head, and at the two distinctly feline ears atop it.

“A catgirl?”

The cat nodded. “A catgirl.”

My heart thumped, and I gave the cat a thumbs-up. “Nice.”

Then I stopped, coming to my senses. Fuck, I thought I was past this phase too…

I buried my head in my hands in shame. Am I really this easy to please?

“You turned me into a catgirl.” I said.

“Apparently I did. An improvement, surely?”

I looked out from over my hands, reluctantly answering. “Probably.”

The cat nodded.

I sighed, then took a better look at myself. At least I still had my normal clothes—my white-collared button-down shirt, black tie and my sleek black pants. Business casual, just the way I liked it. If I had been forced into a miniskirt or something… I shivered

Looking down, I saw that my suitcase was here too, and finally breathed a sigh of relief.

If I had that—I was probably fine.

I sat down onto the soft mossy ground and reached out for the cat. It hesitated for a moment, then strolled forward, into my lap. I started stroking it slowly, instantly feeling relaxed as my hand went over the silky-smooth black fur. Maybe this isn’t the worst.

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“So, I’m not going to be your servant or anything, but I guess we can work together. What exactly is the situation anyway? We’re stranded in the middle of some forest, no food or resources?”

The cat flexed around a bit, finding a nicer spot to settle in in my arms. So soft. “Not the middle of nowhere. My—well, our dungeon.”

I stopped my hand midway, then looked around. We were on a little hill, around us a pleasant summer forest, with verdant maple trees spread about, and little bushes with red berries forming the underbrush. The sun shone, and the birds chirped.

“A dungeon?”

“A dungeon.”

I continued petting the cat, and it started to purr softly. “You run a dungeon? I don’t see a dungeon.”

The cat pointed down with its tail, right below us. “I am a [Cat Core], yes. Strictly speaking, my dungeon is right below us. It’s just… slightly occupied right now.”

I closed my eyes, counted to three, then picked the cat back up by the scruff of its neck. Was it trying to… whistle innocently?

“You are a dungeon thing, and your dungeon is being invaded?”

It looked away. “Well, that is one way to put things. More like... temporarily occupied. Goblins. I don’t think they’ve realized what they’ve found yet.”

My voice was sharp, like when I spoke to troublesome customers. “And the first thing you ask, is that I provide you food?”

It continued looking away. “Hey… The hurry isn’t that big, I was just—peckish. And your class seemed suitable for it.”

That really made my tail bristle. Class?

And hearing my plea, something obliged, and a screen appeared in front of me.  

Kati, Dungeonbound [Café Manager]

Level: 0

Hit Points: 0

Skills:

N/A

I dropped the cat and yelped. “0 hit points? Am I dead?”

The cat landed, on four feet as always, then looked at me like I was an idiot. “Of course not. You just wont be able to take any hits.”

Ok, that’s a relief. But…  I looked at the title before my class. Dungeonbound. If that means what I think it means…

I silently cursed, feeling a headache forming. Does this world have aspirin? “Let me guess, if those goblins don’t get handled, something bad will happen to you, and consequently—me.”

The cat nodded. “Of course. I summoned you—and you are part of this dungeon now. I have to keep this core—” the cat lifted up its neck, indicating a collar with a pink heart-shaped jewel in it, “—safe inside the bounds. And we don’t really have much shelter out here, from monsters or anything else that comes searching.”

Right. That was definitely a problem. A pretty big problem, as far as I was concerned. I sat down, staring at my suitcase. Not an insurmountable problem.

My job was to handle problems.

I shifted to business mode and started interrogating the cat.

“How long are we safe out here?”

“Technically, never. But night is when bad things come out.”

“How long until night?”

“It’s a bit past midday.”

I nodded. A time-limit. Easy enough. One box ticked in my mental checklist. Next: assess the problem.

“How strong are these goblins? How many of them are there?”

The cat strutted along, into my lap, but I did not stroke it. Would break my focus. It rubbed at my side for a second, then relented, and opened a screen in front of us. “I’ll show you—easy enough to monitor things.”

I narrowed my eyes, looking at the dark cavern, and noticed that I saw too clearly in the dark. New eyes? But not what I should be worrying about.

5 goblins. Little green figures, with… sunglasses? And sharp teeth. Simple wood spears, and a leader who had some sort of gem-tipped stick. A wand?

“Four warriors and a… mage? How strong are they?”

The cat frowned in thought, staring at each figure in the screen for a moment. “The [Raiders] don’t feel too strong, maybe level 1-3, each? The [Warlock] feels stronger. Maybe even a 6? I’m getting decent mana from them.”

And I was level 0. But that didn’t really matter, did it? I held my gaze on my briefcase. Right. Next step, solutions.

“Can we negotiate with them?”

“Not really—goblins like to eat cats.” Green eyes shifted to me. “And catgirls.”

I shivered. Well, that would have been too easy.

“You’re a dungeon, right? Do you have any more things to summon? Warriors?”

The cat proudly hopped off from my lap, giving me a smug look. “But of course.” It shifted to look into the woods, then meowed loud. “Warriors, return from your duties!”

I can understand meow-speak now?

Before I could think on that one more—the forest rustled. And cats came out.

Three cats, one white, one orange, one grey. More kitten than cat, really. They eagerly raced out of bushes, mewing with excitement, and all three jumped into my lap at once.

I fell back onto the ground, flooded under the tide of kitty. They were crawling and licking me from all over, and I started laughing. And laughing.

And laughing harder.

The kitties stopped licking me and froze solid as my laugh took on a more ominous tone. I slowly rose, and they crouched down together, quivering in my shadow. I just had to laugh—of course. What had I expected? A mighty tiger?

I loomed over the shivering kitties, smiling, and they shrunk down further.

Then I snatched all three into a big hug with one smooth movement, using my newfound feline grace. I held them to my bosom, marvelling at the softness, ears twitching to every soft mew.

I did not have warriors, but I did have a cause. Forget an arrogant talking cat—this lot were worth protecting.

Regretfully, I let them down to the ground, then rose up to stand. I picked up my suitcase and looked at the bigger cat, no, the [Cat Core].

“Alright. I’ll handle your problem. But I’m no servant. This will be a partnership operation, and I want at least half profits.”

“Profits?” The cat asked, confused.

I smiled and held out my free hand. “Shake on it? My name’s Kati, by the way.”

Hesitantly, the cat reached out a paw, and we shook on it. “I’m Fluffles. I suppose I can agree to this—but can you really handle so many goblins?”

I let go of the paw and winked. “Don’t worry. I’m a professional, I solve problems.”

Fluffles nodded. “Alright, I’ll trust you then.”

[Kati has been appointed as Dungeon Master!]

I blinked at the new screen, then nodded at Fluffles. Awfully quick to trust, this one. I would have to teach him better.

But first… goblins. I could deal with that. I turned to face the hill, and finally opened my briefcase.

And took out my gun.

It was time to solve problems.

Dungeon Stats:

Dungeon Core: Fluffles, [Cat Core] Rank F

Dungeon Master: Kati, [Café Manager] Lv. 1

Current Mana: 10/10

Mana generation: 1/Day

Floors: 1/1

Dungeon Points: 5

Monsters:

* Catgirls 1/1

* Elite Cats 0/0

* Mob Cats 3/10