Crogg was a satisfied goblin. He had done a good job.

The boss had sent them out to claim new territory for the soon-to-be-birthed cores, and he had found this splendid mana-rich cave just lying around—unclaimed!

Sure, he had had to chase a cat out, and he regretted not managing to catch it, but it was still a great victory. So close to a major road, and with several towns nearby…

A guaranteed hotspot. Many adventurers would come once things were arranged with the guild.

And he had found it!

He shuffled forward, smiling wide, and walked up to their [Warlock], who was preparing the ritual by stoking a great fire. “Glunk, I did a good job, right? I found this place after all.”

Glunk took the cigar out of his mouth, and glanced down at the smaller goblin. “I’m busy, the fire needs more tending before I can send the call out. Go bother the others.”

Stupid Glunk.

Crogg took a step backward, bent his head down to the ground, and spat silently. No appreciation.

Shaking his head, he joined the others, who were busy playing cards. Galunk had already lost two fingers in the games—he only had two left now—so the games were a bit dull today.

Gorlak was chewing on one of the aforementioned fingers, and turned up from his cards to look up at Crogg. “Hey, don’t peek at my cards! I lost a finger last time.”

Crogg frowned—he couldn’t even see the cards, and he was being blamed. He lowered his sunglasses, and peeked over, finally seeing the cards in the hand. “He’s got a red ho—”

“Hey! You lot!”

A loud voice cut him off, female, and coming from outside the cave. Crogg grabbed his knife and turned to the entryway, as silence descended. Everyone was getting ready, faces serious.

The [Warlock], Glunk, stepped forward, flicked his cigar to the ground, and stepped on it, extinguishing the embers. “Who’s intruding on our turf?”

Crogg stood on his tip-toes, peering forward, but did not see the intruder. Except… He narrowed his eyes. If he really squinted…

A pair of cat ears were twitching, barely visible from behind a fallen tree trunk. And a tail was lazily waving around in the air…

Crogg poked the [Warlock], and pointed. Glunk looked where he was pointing, then smiled and licked his lips. A catgirl.

Finally, some good fucking food.

Catgirls were known for being dumb and lazy, even if they could occasionally be a bit clever and fast on the feet. But they had the [Warlock] Glunk, who was already covertly preparing a spell behind his back.

The voice spoke again.

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“You have 10 seconds to get out of my property!”

Glunk took a step forward, a blaze of fire slowly forming behind him. “This place is claimed by lord Hyypiö the great! Who dares intrude?”

BANG.

A crack of thunder, then Glunk was down, a hole in the middle of his head. It hadn't even been two seconds! The fireball behind the [Warlock] flared up, lighting the cave, and Crogg went blind.

BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

Crogg heard cries of pain and silent thuds behind him—the others—and threw himself to the ground.

BANG.

Something ricocheted off the wall above him, right where he had been standing. His heart thundered.

“A level 50 [Mage]? Here? But how?”

He cried out in despair, as more shots hit the cavern around him, but none hit him. He started slowly crawling backwards, to the very ends of the cave. It was so dark—he couldn’t see anything, but back he crawled.

Even though the gunshots had stopped.

They stopped?

He hesitantly stood up at the very back of the cavern, where the mana was thickest, his knife shaking. But he kept it pointed forward. A brave goblin.

But he saw only darkness—so much darkness. Oh fuck—I forgot to—

He threw his sunglasses off, and finally saw two gleaming feline eyes, and then there was a flash and a bang.

And then only darkness.

—

I looked at the last goblin, dead on the ground, sunglasses fallen to the ground by him. I whistled, then blew on the smoke coming out my gun. A Glock-17 with a silencer. My ears still rang—shooting inside this cave had been a miscalculation.

Especially with my new cat ears. I flexed, feeling an urge to meow, but managed to hold it back. Now was a moment to be dignified. Slowly, I bent down, and picked the fallen sunglasses up.

Then I examined them.

[Sunglasses. Rank F Item. Protects from harsh sunlight. +10 Coolness. Condition (greasy)]

Really? You have a screen for these of all things? I sighed, then wiped them off on my shirt. Then I put them on. Darkness. But the kind of darkness I would have with human eyes—a small comfort. I finally looked at the blue box flashing by me.

[Dungeon breach Concluded! Enemies defeated: 5! Average enemy level: 4!]

[Level up! You have become a Café Manager Lv. 1! Hit Points: 0 → 1]

[New Skill: Get Outta My Café! With an intimidating shout, make your enemies cower and flee for their lives! Intimidation scales on personal charisma.]

Nice, maybe this class would be good for something after all. But charisma? I hadn’t seen a charisma score anywhere. How did that work?

As if ordered a new screen appeared.

[Charisma: How good are you at making other people do what you want? Scales off personal coolness, equipped clothing items, Fashion Synergy Bonus, Hotness (racial bonus: Catgirl), Cuteness (racial bonus: Catgirl), Childhood history, Reputation—]

My eyes widened as the list went on and on, an endless assortment of every possible factor that could affect my charisma. Much good this is. Thanks for nothing.

Shaking my head, I dismissed the screen, then turned to the corpses, which were rapidly dissolving into the ground, equipment and all. Good thing I saved these glasses.

The goblin bodies began dissolving down into the ground, and I felt power flowing into the dungeon.

[10 mana harvested! 5 dungeon points awarded!]

Boom. Or… More like... Bang.

Problem solved.

I heard soft steps approaching and looked over my sunglasses at the approaching Fluffles. He was staring around, eyes wide, and sniffing the air.

I smiled and started walking out of the cave, back to my briefcase. Hadn’t even had to use that much ammo—and if the dungeon could replicate things like I suspected…

“Hey Fluffles.”

The cat flinched, then looked up at me. “W-what is it?”

I stepped outside the cavern, and finally saw outside again. The sunglasses were actually pretty nice here.

Taking a few more steps forward, I finally stopped and spat onto the ground. Felt like the right moment for it. One problem was dealt with, but more remained. I turned around, grimacing at the sight of the First and foremost problem:

My dungeon was a damn cave with no features to it, we had no food, no money and no allies. But… The corpses had given mana. I had many blinking options waiting for me.

I turned to the cat. “Get ready. It’s time for work.”

Fluffles gulped.