The light was bright, it matched the sterility of my bedroom. I remembered events that led me here, after Thousands Cuts brought me back here to get sleep.

Donovan found out. To paraphrase what he said: you know how much risk you made with your little stunt? You know well that Mekiko is in recovery. Even the slightest move can have a lasting impact on his mind.”

Thinking back, how Donovan treated me then made more sense. Knowing there’s a recovery period after the anima treatment made me hate it. I hated lying, but I have to lean onto the amnesia story. It makes too much sense, so there's no risk in seeming naive.

Which left me with this predicament.

“Greetings, sir!” a guard saluted me.

The guard was a hefty man. Beads of water formed over his forehead. He was much taller. I was unarmed while he had a lowered gun with him, yet he was the one sweating bullets.

It'd be an odd sight for an outsider to see.

“At ease soldier, and stop speaking with the formalities.” I told him. “You are creeping me out. Calling me Mekiko is fine.”

“Understood sir, I mean Mekiko!” He stuttered.

“Grubbs is it?” I started the conversation.

“That is correct,” said Grubbs.

“You are firm, yet sloppy, more in a confused jellyfish sort-of-way. Please use your casual speech, before you embarrass us both.”

I stare at Grubbs with a puzzled look. While he is fat, I am hesitant to voice my full grievances. I don't belong in Imperial, so who am I to judge Grubbs for being unfit as a guard?

I cleared my throat, “so, why are you standing next to my door.”

“I was told to stand by the door and tell my superior when you leave.”

“Does your superior so happen to be Donovan?”

“I'm not allowed to say,” he shifted.

Yeah it's him, “You wouldn’t try to stop me if I leave, are you?”

“I wouldn't dream of it sir, uh, Mekiko. It would be a great offense for someone of my status to put force on you.”

“So, I outrank you. Solely on the basis that I'm Imperial?” I was incredulous.

“By a big deal, yes,” he nodded.

Damn nepotism, I sighed. “At ease, or something… Whatever, I wish to speak to my mentor, radio him in. I'll be in my room for the time being.”

“Yes, of course, I'm on it.”

I went back to my desk while looking out the window. My mind thought about Thousand Cuts. I haven’t seen her for a while. It made me sick to my stomach that she's out there getting punished. Objectively, she deserved it, but I desired stimulation; no matter how annoying she was.

The boredom was getting to me. Like, I could handle myself, I didn't need protection. My body squirmed in my seat. It was because of the recovery process, from the anima treatment.

I pulled out the deck of playing cards again, it kept my mind at ease. I saw Blanks as if nothing was there. I tried focusing on seeing the bigger picture, but I didn't get there.

“I see that you were working hard while I was gone,” Donovan spoke from the back of my neck.

My hair stood up from my head. I resisted the urge to meow. I sensed a noise going down my throat, but I suppressed making any feline noise.

“Welcome mentor, how have you been doing? Nya!~” I only delayed the meow.

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Yet Donovan didn't react.

“I'm doing well, thank you for asking,” he smiled. “You requested to talk with me? That’s odd for you to lead the conversation this time.”

“It’s about the guard outside. I'm not sure that I’m comfortable with being watched all day.”

“That's not happening. You got to understand that ‘Thousand cuts,’ as she likes to call herself, made a reckless move. By bringing you outside when you weren't ready,” he sat down on a chair

“I understand the implications, but — can you be more lenient to Thousand Cuts for me? She didn't mean any harm. I don't hate her, and it would be unjust if I never see again. Can you make a promise for me?”

“I'll think about it,” he responded.

“That is not an answer. She may not be the most dear to me, but I deserve the truth all the same,” I looked up at Donovan.

He gave me an expressionless look,”alright, I will be more lenient. She does seem to matter to you after all.”

I was relieved when he assured me, then thought about what implied about me and Thousand Cuts.

“I said no such thing!” I exclaimed

“didn’t you?” He teased.

“No, I said that I didn’t mind being around her” I crossed my arms.

“Words do mean different things depending on how you say them..”

“I meant exactly what I said. Don’t get any wrong ideas.”

“That has yet to be seen,” Donovan said.

“Hmph, shows what you know,” I pouted

“There was another reason why I came here other than hearing your request. I need you to go to the training hall for some training. Nothing too strenuous, light practice to see where you’re at with your combat expertise”

I swallowed my saliva — nothing was ever as simple as it seemed. If skills were what I needed to show, I had none.

“Mekiko, you don’t have to be scared. It's okay to feel that way, but you have to bear with me for a moment.”

“I'm not scared… But can I hold your hand? To make sure that you’re with me when we get there. I don't want to get lost, that's all.”

“Sure you can.”

I nodded as I followed him.

— — —

The training hall was the same as when Thousand Cuts and I had our wager. In the daytime, other operatives were practicing. Some wore their duster uniform, and others casual wear. I had on a white t-shirt.

My eyes avoided the gaze of other operatives as I held onto Donovan’s hand. He took me to a secluded area.

“I will be watching you all the way through,” he said “The first step is to grab a weapon, so that I can get a sense of your form.”

“That defeats the purpose as I had no form to speak of,” I responded.

“That's the point, to see your skill at its most raw essence.”

“What exactly is this ‘raw essence’ supposed to be?”

“Anima, the innermost part of the soul. The inferior function that the mind represses, the soul.. It gives mercenaries, IMPERIAL, and wildlife abilities beyond the norm.”

“Look, as much as I love to hear boring lectures all day, I’m going to grab a weapon and test this ‘raw essence’.” I let go of his hand to go to the stand holding all the equipment.

The weapons on display were numerous.

I moved my claws on the swords, spears, and… That’s odd, “why aren't there any weapons with wood? With the metal around, someone could get hurt,” I called Donovan.

“You need to get accustomed to metal when fighting, wood will never work. Besides, the armory is dull for a reason,” my mentor said.

“That inspires confidence,” I said sarcastically.

Again, I shifted my eyes on my choice of selection before picking up the gun, simple, deadly; effective.

“I recommend starting with a sword,” he shouted.

The gun would’ve been so useful, “why do I need to swing a piece of metal when I can just shoot lead?”

“I believe that your skills are more suited for melee rather than ranged. Guns are complex to work with.”

What the hell is that supposed to mean? I pick up gun, pull trigger; other end go big boom, bad guy goes away. There’s little complexity to understand.

I begrudgingly picked up a sword. A sword that others looked at as normal. For me, it was oversized for my body.

“You decided on a sword?” He asked. “Go up to the arena so we can begin with the test.”

I walked to an elevated platform made of concrete. Scribbling sounded behind me, I looked back to see Donovan writing on a notebook. I stared at him, he ceased his writing.

I resumed going to the platform, the sound of ink on paper resounded. My eyes planted themselves on Donovan.

“I'm ready when you are,” my mentor said. “Keep going, you shouldn’t stop for me.”

“It is hard to start with your constant writing,” I muttered.

“I am taking notes,” he continued writing. “These notes help me focus, don’t mind me,” he pointed at a dummy. See that target over, strike the target with all your might.”

The dummy was made of metal with a shield. It vaguely looked humanoid.

I took a stance, feet flat over the concrete. My sword cut through air with an overhead swing. The size of the sword tapered my balance as the blade went down. Unruly was the weight.

The sword struck the dummy.

*Clink*

Yet, only a dull thud sounded out. The sword bounced back and I stumbled, almost losing my grip in the process.

I took a step back to avoid falling over. The blade made finding my balance harder as it weighed me down.

The dummy stood strong. Nothing was as easy as initially seemed.