Where am I? That was the first question that entered my head. A blinding white light clouded my eyes as multiple lights danced in my vision.
That’s right, I must’ve been in an accident. Not the weirdest as I can’t seem to remember what happened before.
White silhouettes gathered around me, doctors in white clothing. They looked like giants. Slowly, I took out my hand to block out the blaring lights. My nails were sharp, unusually so; almost like they were claws.
The beeping from the machine made focusing hard, more so to my ears which I sensed were in a different position than normal.
My hair looked to be white, so long that it wrapped around my eyes. It wasn’t the white lights deceiving me either, my hair is white. My hands went above my hair to find a pair of animal ears where normal ears should be.
“Nya?” I let out a shock in surprise. Feeling my ears was the most intense sensation that I’ve ever felt. So sensitive that it felt like torture and unstable that I let out a meow, I never did that before.
A sudden wave of emotions came crashing open. Tears welled up in the corner of my eyes. But why am I getting so worked up? It was fear, indecisiveness, and somehow guilt that are all supporting each other. All I could do was let out a small whimper as tears rolled down my face.
The men in white checked my body with strange instruments. The muffled voices made it hard to listen in. I'm having a panic attack.
Guards came through the door when the doctors seemed satisfied. The guards’ bodies are obscured by a set of a green bulky helmet and vest. The 2 guards took my body to lead me away. My breathing obscured any words they said. The tears never stopped. I let them take me away, any place is better than here.
I just want to go home, I hate it here.
— — —
I lay in my room for the end of days. A white sterile room with only the window to look at, and my thoughts.
My dinner sits on the table beside the door. It went cold long ago. One of the guards in bulky armor came, they took the food out; probably to throw it out. The food was there for a while after all.
It was when I heard a gentle knock coming from the door. ”Pardon, but would you mind if I intruded upon you?” A male voice resounded through the door.
“No, go away!” I said in an outburst.
“I have been receiving reports that you haven’t been eating. I came here to check up on your health.”
“I said go away!” I yelled back.
“I’m only here to talk.”
Shame washed over me. Here I am acting like a jerk to the only guy who is here out of the kindness of his own heart, I thought. Such actions are deplorable, I know how terribly I’m acting.
As I was busy burying my head under a pillow, he continued, “You’re not going to respond? Well, I’m not leaving until you come out, and I’m not talking hyperbolically either. Either I can stay here, or we can talk in person, have a little chit chat.
I opened the door with bated breaths, there was no lock on the door anyway. The man was behaving in more of a sign of goodwill that he didn’t open it and invade my privacy. What I saw was a striking appearance, a remarkable appearance.
It wasn’t the same armor as the other guards that he wore. It was a metal plating draped over with a duster. His eyes are as silver as his hair, neatly cut.
Wow, so cool! My eyes briefly flashed upon his uniform. No, it’s my emotions acting up again, if I admired him more, I'd I might seem too needy.
He leaned on the door frame, like every human, he was taller than I am; much so. By the way he stood, it seems like even a tsunami could have hit him and still have the same resolution from before. What a true gentleman should be.
“Come on, sit up. Lets talk,” he grabbed the chair to take a seat beside the bed. “This all appears scary to you, and that’s okay, it happens to the best of us. I like to know where you’re at at this moment,” the man said.
“No, everything is fine,” I said through my teeth.
“I can tell a fabricated lie when I see one, I won’t get mad if you tell the truth,” he said. My head lowers to the ground, “you can be brave.”
Tears formed up in my eyes, “It’s just that everyone so mean *Sob*. I don’t know where I am. I want to go home. I hate it here,” I rub my eyes. I can’t even look at the man as I whimper.
I wailed for a while, he put his hand through my hair while making sure to avoid my animal-like ears. “It’s okay to feel sad. I know that you don’t feel safe, that’s okay as well,” he said in a calming voice. “You said that you don’t know where you are only in jest, did you?
I wiped the tears off with my hands, I weakly shook my head.
That made him pause for a second, “that’s a big claim to be making. You surely know what country we are currently residing in.”
“No… I don’t,” I said. That gave the man a pause, his smile stiffened when he heard that.
“Nya?” I instinctually recoiled back.
“Sorry, it was out of my expectations. I am not mad at you. It's alright I'm calm now. I believe that you have retrograde amnesia. Before you get too confused, it is best to recall your own identity. My full name is Donovan, what is yours?”
“You only said your first name,” I stated.
“True, I lost the right to my surname long ago.”
“Why is that?”
“I can't disclose that information.”
“I'm sorry…”
“Don't feel bad, it was over 20 years ago. It is only a bitter reminder.”
The more I thought about it, one name came to mind, “Mekiko O’ Zaar,” I said with confidence.
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“I see,” he nodded. “You are a first born son. Your mother has a beautiful name,” he smiles.
“How, how do you know that?”
“It's a lot to take in, let's say that the information is in your name for now.”
“Who are you?”
“I am your mentor, I never told you before.”
“..No, I mean who am I for you to be here.”
Donovan clenches his fist before loosening his grip, “You and I are cut from the same leaf. We are part of the IMPERIAL program. You… we went through anima treatment. You were given enhancements to improve your body’s capabilities. I’m sorry… anima treatment is a difficult process to go through, that explains your amnesia… No IMPERIAL comes out the same person.”
“Is that all that you can say? You’re going to have me believe that my body has been enhanced with anima? You know how high on shit you sound right now! Oh god, I’m nothing but a tool for them.”
“Mekiko, you’re being hysterical, calm down, I can guide you through this.”
“I’m being hysterical?” I screamed at him. “I’m being hysterical?” I muttered more softly.
The sun dims in the afternoon, it was getting dark outside. I did what Donovan taught me and did breathing exercises. My mind eases up, although slightly.
“Donovan?”
“Yes, Mekiko?”
“What am I?”
“That’s a strange question.”
“No, ever since I woke up, I have had animal ears and a tail. Everytime I touch them, they feel so unbearable to touch. I can't take the feeling.”
“You are a nyancan, a beastkin more precisely. Your sensitivities are of no concern, it is a common trait for beastkin to have overly sensitive tails and ears.’
“Am I even human?” I paused before asking.
That’s a difficult question, if we’re talking about philosophy or science there are different answers. Classification is a relatively new science and…” his voice trailed off. “Looks like I lost you. What I mean is that you’re as human as anyone here. Wait a second while I grab your food.”
A knock resounded from the door. The fact that he noticed before any noise can be heard is impressive. Donovan took out the plate before closing the door.
A waft of delicious meat enters my nose. It entices me to come closer. The hunger pains come back to me. Grilled fish under charcoal, which gives it that earthy, smoky taste. My mouth waters from thinking about it, That rich savory feeling. Yet Donovan is staring at me expectantly.
My back went as straight as an arrow. I wouldn’t be able to control myself. If he were to see me being unsightly, he would think poorly of me. I am going to turn out to be a savage.
I turn away from my hunger. Water formed up from my eyes as I pushed the fish away.
“I’m not hungry,” I said.
“Not even a little bit?” he asked, I shook my head. “I ordered the foot especially for you. As a mentor, I am worried for you, and the food would get cold. Would you want to disappoint your mentor like that?”
My determination drained from hearing this. If he cares, then having a bite might be okay, no he shouldn’t see me for who I am, I thought.
“Okay, if that's what you want. I’ll be taking myself and the fish out with me then.”
Below me, I felt my tail waving in the air as if to convince me.
“No wait!” I grabbed onto his duster. “I want the fish! I will eat the fish. But could you… could you close your eyes for me?”
“Sure, tell me when I can open them.”
*Nom* *Nom* Nom*
My eyes closed in ecstasy. It was everything I dreamed and imagined. My claws greedily grab onto the fish as I licked the plate.
When I got to my senses, I noticed that Donovan was still closing his eyes. It would’ve been shameful if I were to be caught, being unsightly.
“Okay, you can look now,” I said. What the man could find is an empty plate, licked clean.
“You didn’t leave so much as the skeleton. Here I thought you were a fussy eater, and with the cutlery being ignored on the table,” he teased.
“No, that’s not it. I was, I didn't have an appetite until now. Yeah, that’s it.”
“Pray tell, why didn't you have an appetite until now?”
“Well, the food made me feel uncomfortable. Just today, they gave me onion soup, and I couldn’t bring myself to even look at it.”
“They brought you onions?’ he sounded more demanding, almost as if he was going to raise his voice.
“Is that a problem?” I reluctantly asked.
“This is more than a problem, Mekiko, this is gross negligence. Onions are poisonous to nyancans. At first I was concerned when you were not eating, now I’m only glad.”
“I can’t eat onions?” I asked incredulously.
“You wouldn’t be here if you did,” he said as a matter of fact. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll handle it. There’s going to be major restructuring.”
“You don’t have to go that far, it isn’t a big deal,” I protested.
“It is a big deal Mekiko, very much so. If word were to get out about the emperor’s guards mistreating a beastkin, especially an IMPERIAL at that, it’s going to cause a nationwide scandal. It would be letting chaos roam within the country. Sorry again Mekiko, this is one request that I can’t grant you.”
“Is there no other way? I would be burdening you.”
“Don’t worry about that, it’s getting late anyway. I can tell by the way you’re looking a bit sluggish. You must’ve not slept well for the past few as well. I will be here until you’re asleep.”
He pets my hair, making sure to avoid my ears. It feels gentle, comfortable, and safe. My eyes start to feel heavy, I close them shut. My conscience nods off as my thoughts drift into bliss. I dream of the fish I ate.
— — —
–Donovan POV~
Emotion and duty goes separate.
As a 1st class IMPERIAL, Donovan had seen his fair share of life-and-death battles and enough hardships for several lifetimes. He was already considered an ace among veterans, yet meeting with the beastkin was the closest that he lost his composure.
Donovan pets Mekiko’s hair, the nyancan purred softly while going around the cat ears. Donovan knew how sensitive beastkin ears are.
Once Mekiko went to sleep, Donovan left pleased . He closes the door quietly so as to not startle Mekiko.
It seems like I gained a little affection for the little nyancan, although he’s not as meek as he initially appears, the man thought. He had to remind himself that any beastkin could have easily overpower the guards, and that is not factoring in the enhancements from the anima treatment.
Every IMPERIAL anima treatment is bad, but Mekiko has the worst of the effects.The most intense form of anima treatment.
Yet there’s another variable that Donovan is factoring Mekiko’s strength.
It’s in the name: Mekiko O’ Zaar. It may seem like a normal name to the uninitiated, but that name bears a harsh truth.
(Me, First son of Kiko from the Zaar tribe)
The current prince of the Zaar tribe. Donovan's dealing with the tyrant queen Kiko’s son. That would be enough to send a shiver.
Donovan steered his mind clear. To be as clear as water, he thought.
Everything is a variable, if he didn't know then he didn't account for it. There will be order, there will be duty. He lost composure, he was aware of that now. His feelings were influenced by Mekiko.
It was because the emperor's guards grossly mishandled the situation, going so far as to mishandle an IMPERIAL and to be so incompetent to feed a nyancan onions. This made his blood boil — but he’s calm now. As smooth of water, Donovan thought. Now, he was only concerned if Mekiko was having a nice dream.
He realizes his mistake, he had treated Mekiko as an unknown variable. For what lies ahead, Mekiko will now be a part of Donovan’s calculations.
Heads are going to roll, and I will not stop until either the whole facility is reeducated or replaced, but that’s for tomorrow. I have yet to do one thing, Donovan thought.
He puts his hand on the beastkin’s door before whispering, “Good night Mekiko,” he smiled.
He walks through the hallway without a doubt for the future.