The sun went below the horizon.
My legs almost gave out. I painted in exhaustion.
My body was taxed, but not to the point of hospitalization. I checked my body to make sure. Yeah, my limbs were responding fine.
I sat down on my bed inside my room. Being back in my room felt nice, away from the hospital. I had privacy for a change, and some rest for a long day. I sighed while swaying my legs on the bed.
I completely lost myself back there, I thought. I gave in to my urges and chased the tantalizing red dot. I lost control and meowed.
The same sadistic training method was happening tomorrow, I know it.
The damn laser pointer! Has to be all laser, and so pointy.
What happens if I give in to my desires again? Has someone seen me?
Lorry already seen me. She watched me while I barely registered her presence. I was so busy chasing the dot.
A realization struck me.
She heard me meow.
What if she thought I was cute? Worse, What if she called me cute? My head buried into my pillow. Suffocate me now! I rolled around in my bed.
I shouldn’t be acting like this. I was a gentleman, my breathing slowed.
I couldn’t lose to my instincts again. I had to at least minimize the embarrassment. The time wasn’t now. I needed energy for tomorrow. The next day, I wasn’t giving into the urges.
My head rested on a pillow. As I was about to get all comfy, I noticed something unusual in my. A stuffed animal the shape of a fish layed on my table. I never bought a plushy.
Thousand Cuts! She did this! I figured as much.
I remembered my time in Mamba Market. Thousand Cuts and I went to the amusement park. I recalled wanting a stuffed animal at the game stalls, but I only thought that.
The stuffed fish looked like the one I wanted at the stores. I only glanced at that stuffed fish. How did she tell my intentions so easily?
To buy the stuffed fish and then sneak until my room, for the sole purpose to fluster me. That was the Thousand Cuts I knew.
I picked up the plushy, and opened the window. I aimed to throw the plushy out, yet I hesitated.
It’d be a shame if the stuffed fish is gone, I thought. There’s little in my possessions, a pair of sunglasses, a chess set, that damn invisible deck of cards.
I closed the window, placed the plushy back onto my bed. Thousand Cuts trying to fluster me didn't matter.
Her gift was wonderful.
I snuggled into the plushy’s embrace, and went to sleep.
— — —
The red laser dot appeared, out of my reach. My cat-like eyes darted from side-to-side. My claws swiped at the ground.
“Nya!” I screamed.
I sprang at the red dot, but it scurried away. Me and the dot play a game of, well, catboy and mouse. I relentlessly chased the red dot. The stimulation drove my instincts to the forefront.
That was until Donovan turned off his laser pointer.
“We’re done here, get some rest,” he said.
I leaned against a tree. The supple leaves left some shade to sit in. A place that's cool on the skin and away from the heat. My head hung as I cooled off. My body slumped down on the tree. My desires won out.
I avoided Donovan's eyes, “Why did you stop?” I asked.
“You’re at your limit, Mekiko. A layman can see that.”
“I have you know that I am just fine,”I panted. I stood up, my body tensed in exhaustion, “Fine, you made your point,” I rested.
“Here, drink some water before you get heat stroke,” he gave me a bottle.
My mouth drew big, greedy gulps. Droplets of water fell onto my white t-shirt as I gulped down the metal container.
“Thank you, Donovan,” I gave the bottle back.
“You have overexerted yourself, Mekiko. You need more than water to fix your predicament.”
“You’re not being helpful, Donovan!” I protested. “At least allow me practice with weapons!”
“Like I said, the laser dot is only as hard as you make it. Focus on the laser and don’t give into the chase.”
“3 weeks I have been at this, and nothing has improved!” I screamed which surprised me. “Do you have more unorthodox training, Donovan? Maybe next time I should paint your fence; better, wax your motorized carriage!”
“I know following the laser dot can be tedious, even tiring.” He sat down next to me, and patted my shoulder, “You need to understand that learning focus is most important right now. You can’t have yourself losing…” he trails off.
“To my instincts again,” I finished his sentence. “I understand,” and I sincerely meant that. I thought about Lyle, never again.
“That,” he refocused. “When your focus has improved to a point, we can lessen the time for the laser dot. Have some combat practice you can try.”
“Donovan… Can I ask you another favor?”
“Sure, What’s bothering you?”
“Well, I remember you talking about the Degenerative Behavior Act,” I fidgeted. “I am wondering if —- I can learn more about the law.”
“The law regarding beastkin ears? There are more important priorities that you need to concentrate on.”
“But this is important, Donovan! I need to know my full rights if I want to live. What if a degenerate pets my ears. That would be horrible. I must know how to protect myself in accordance with the law.”
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I stopped myself from folding my ears. Me talking about my ears made them uncomfortable, yet was necessary for my well being. Donovan studied me with a blank expression.
He paused, “Sorry for my misjudgment. Knowing your rights is a substantial matter indeed. You need to learn the law better than anyone else.”
Huh?
He continued, “As a non-beastkin myself, I overstepped in my assumption. I’ll have guards get you information on the Degenerative Behavior Act and other laws involving beastkin.”
He accepted my proposal so readily. I thought that he was going to deny my request like the others, like eating fish every day. Can’t believe he denied that request, it was reasonable.
But that’s not my priority right now, “There’s other laws for only beastkin in particular?” I asked dubiously.
“Of course, how would there be a way to rectify discrimination otherwise?”
Keeps getting better and better, I paled.
“I got to go check on that later,” I told him. “Us resume training is for the best.
“No, you already spent yourself. Any more exercise would be benign. Ease yourself for tomorrow and we will begin again.”
“Then what do you suggest we do?” I was baffled.
“I got some spare time. I’m feeling tea and chess to pass the time.”
We played chess. I lost yet another game.
— — —
I check the deck of cards, more out of habit. This time I wasn’t paying attention. I long ago gave up on seeing the hidden card. The odd card that hid from me. Some days, it felt like I was never never going to see, like I was not good enough.
I thought about swatting the cards on the cards, to tear them into shreds. How much I wanted to end this charade, yet I stopped myself. Put the deck back onto the table.
I was more refined than that. My mentor gave me this deck for a reason. There had to be a reason, but my faith wavered from countless failures.
I left the cards alone and went out.
“Hey Sir, uh, Mekiko,” Grubbs greeted in an awkward salute.
“You know, you can stop being nervous around me.” I responded. “We know each other on a name to name basis.”
“I am aware, sir.”
“Nevermind; I can go out anytime I feel like, right?” I asked.
“Of course, I wouldn’t call myself a guard if I disavow orders, especially from IMPERIAL.”
“Okay, tell Donovan that I went outside to go to the courtyard, I feel like having some fresh air,” I told a half lie.
“I only report to my higher ups that gave me the task,” he vehemently denied.
“Then let go tell your ‘higher ups’, whatever,” I waved my hand.
When the guard was gone, I sighed. The reason I told a half truth was simple. I accepted that I was easy to read. My heightened emotions from being a beastkin always gave me away. So, why stay with methods that never work? Adjust and use more advanced tactics of deception, I say.
I wasn’t sneaking out like the time I went to Mamba Market. No, I was at the courtyard to see an annoying girl I promised to meet.
And… She isn’t here.
The moonlight illuminating the courtyard made scanning difficult. The place was eerily quiet, like a phantom is lurking.
Yet all the lingering scent of pine was all that lurked.
Maybe she isn’t here, I thought.
A hand grabbed me from the back of my shoulder.
“Got you,” Thousand Cuts whispered in my ear.
My tail and ears shot up. I rested my arms on my chest, as my heart palpitated. I calmed myself down. Her grip felt like a phantom.
The courtyard was dark and empty. Thousand cuts and I were there alone, only me and her.
“You got a lot of nerve showing up like that!” I exclaimed. “If I were anyone lesser, you would have given me a heart attack. I demand an apology this instant!”
Yet she said nothing. She crossed her arms in a grin.
She expects me to say it, to meow. Well, I’m not going to, I’m not going to give her the satisfaction.
My face hardened, as I stood my ground. The urge to meow came out of my throat. I suppressed That urge. I held my breath out of desperation.
Thousand Cuts watched as I bloated my face. I glared at her.
I’m acting cute again, damn her.
I have to breathe. My mouth took a gulp of oxygen.
“Nya!”
*Sigh* I hate her so much.
She giggled. “You should keep better wits about your surroundings. Look around, feel the darkness swirling around. Who knows what vermin of the underworld lurks beneath. Take the initiative! That is the true way!”
“Great, you’re posing again,” I deadpanned.
“Only to bask into the moonlight, to revel in the atmosphere.”
I am not going to dignify that with an answer, “A promise is a promise after all and a gentleman always keeps their honor. Why meet at the courtyard? Or the veil under moonlight as you put it.
“I always keep my word as well,” the swordswoman pointed at me. “Now that I have been released from the grasp of Lorry and Donovan, I wish to resume our apprenticeship together.”
“You never told me what happened to you while you were being punished.”
“Nothing too bad, mostly hard exercises and hard labor. I did have to go through beastkin sensitivity training.”
“How come it always comes to that?” I muttered. I was relieved that she wasn’t disciplined too hard. “So, what did they exactly teach you there? I’m curious.”
“Oh, you know, the basics,” she waved her hand. “Don’t treat beastkin like children. Not to pet them on the ears, or squeeze their tails without consent — Ear touching is a big no-no according to the degenerative behavior act,” she smirked.
Beastkin sensitivity training sounds less about understanding and more about appearing to care.
My ears flicked, “appears they've been treating you fine. Maybe next time you can learn not to sneak up on people who are minding their business.”
“You need to learn vigilance. You never know when fiend would strike from behind… or a friend”
“There’s a difference between teaching diligence and wanting a beastkin to meow,” I stated.
She shrugged, “Who said I can’t do both. Besides, I’m sure you meowed for other reasons.” She leaned in close, “Like maybe you wanted to see if I was doing alright. Does the catboy have some affection for me?” She whispered in my ear.
My tail twitched and my ears perked up. My face turned all shades of red as I whimpered to make a sentence.
I pushed her away, “No, I don’t have affection for you! Take back your accusation! It was a curiosity… yeah I was curious about you. I don’t have feelings for you!”
“Oh? Who said anything about underlying feelings?” She smiled the widest I saw her.
“N-nya!” I stammered. “You — you implied that with your deceptive tongue. You're the worst! I’m not letting you slander me!” I accused her with my finger.
“I remember you saying that you liked me before.”
“I said — that I don’t mind being around you. I liked you as an acquaintance, not the other way. Don’t get the wrong idea!” I crossed my arms.
“Alright White Shroud, I humbly accept your ‘acquaintance’ request, she quoted with her fingers.
“Fine, be that way,” I pouted.
“You know the other reason why I’m here?”
“You wanted to teach me to go far beyond %1000 human limit?”
“White Shroud, don’t be ridiculous. — We start out with %100 human limit.”
“Regret that I even asked,” I resisted the itch in my eyes.
“So, are you going with me or not?”
As much as I wanted to say no, I bit my tongue. Training with Donovan had lackluster results. Despite the annoyance Thousand Cuts can be, she was the real deal. Maybe, Maybe she can teach me actual combat. My reasoning has nothing to do with spending time with her.
Absolutely nothing.
I was not hiding my feelings from her… I was only conflicted about how I felt, that’s all.
“Yes, I will go with you,” I expressed.
“It is decided! Let’s hasten our arrival!” she grabbed my hand.
She held me with both her hands
She was going to drag me off, but glanced back. Look within my eyes. The woman let go, and walked away before I processed why she stopped.
“White Shroud, are you coming?” Thousand Cuts yelled.
“Uh, yes,” I followed.
Thousand Cuts I knew was overbearing. Maybe her change was her way of saying sorry, or her respecting my commitment. Perhaps I was thinking too hard and she’s being unusual to fluster me. I could never tell.
She hummed as we went together.
I’m getting too comfortable around the crazy woman, I’m sure of that, but I also know I can’t let her go. Let her be by my side for now. The more she is with me, the less chances she could sneak up on me.
I refused to voice another meow.