At the end of the meeting, I stayed the room and I met with Durin and Jimmy to discuss hardening and tempering of the body. Jimmy was practically dancing with excitement over all his new gear. A pair of steel basubaunds now covered his forearms, and similar simple steel greaves covered his knees and lower legs. He had a simple spangen helm with sides and a basic nasal, at the bottom of the helm an aventail was attached to it made of chain, so the gap at his neck was armored as well. Under the chain, around his neck was a silver chain with a silver charm, that helped Jimmy to regenerate from wounds. Jimmies simple woodsman’s axe was supplemented with a proper 2 handed battle axe with a spike on the top for thrusting and on the back instead of a second blade were two spikes. It was a fearsome heavy metal album cover, Frank Frazetta kind of axe. Jimmy sat with the axe in his lap, lovingly running his hands over it. quietly testing out names. “Throatcutter, no soo small, Basher? No no… Foe Cleaver…”
My sword was enchanted and in my inventory. I’d gotten a few other goodies, like a map crystal that added an auto map ability to my character sheet, and a pair of basubaunds to protect my lower arms as well.
Durin cleared his throat and began “Most cultures on Devona use tempering, it’s a process of damaging and regrowing parts your body with magic. Think of it like how exercising tears your muscles and they grow back stronger. When Magic grows part of you back, whatever is regrown is stronger. The change isn’t great, but if you set up a situation where you heal repeatedly while under constant damage, the gains can be bigger. You can soak in an acid to temper the skin, or take poisons to temper the body. The elves ingest exotic plants to temper the mind by driving it to the edge of insanity.”
“We’re going to do a little experiment to show you how it works, so you will believe it bone deep. This will help you if you take the other challenges. Meditate and focus on your ring healing your hand. I’ll lower it into a bowl of boiling hot water. We will leave it there for 2 minutes. It’s going to hurt, but you can handle it with the ring working. We’ll do your left hand which is your weaker hand.”
I enter into a meditative state and focused on sending all my energy to the Fix0 ring and from the ring to my left hand. I felt Durin lower my hand in to a bowl of very hot water. I stung like mad and hurt, but I could feel the ring keeping up with the damage. When I got used to the heat, more hot water was added. After a couple rounds of this. Durin plunged my hand into ice water, which somehow began to hurt even worse than the hot water and held it there for a few minutes.
“Okay lad, open your eyes, here is a towel, dry you hand and let’s do some tests.”
Durin pulled out a large needle, and handed it to me. “Prick you right hand just hard enough to draw a tiny drop of blood. Then do the same to your left hand.”
It took will power, but I was able to get the tiniest drop of blood from my right, but when I tried to use the same pressure on my left hand, it did nothing. I had to push gradually harder and harder to accomplish the same drop of blood. It took way more pressure than the right hand.
Durin then tied a weight to a piece of string and had me rest my arm on the table and lift the weight by twirling the string around my finger. My left hand was not only stronger, but now it was more agile as well.
Durin continued, “The process of going into opposite elements in succession, layers these changes on top of each other. Not only do you gain more resistances that way, you also gain other benefits like agility. This keeps your body supple and limber while also becoming strong. This is the essence of Hardening and Tempering the body. The secrets of the techniques come in how we do it, how we balance the damage and the healing for maximum results. How long to damage the body with ice after burning it with fire. All of these are techniques dwarven clans use to make their members hardy and tough. We have also chosen methods that will force your mind to harden as well. Tough is still mostly attitude after all. A quitter with a body of iron, is still a quitter.”
Durin caught my eye, “This will suck, suck worse than anything you have ever done, but you will get measurable and concrete improvements at each level. Do you wish to undertake the trials for Body of Stone? It consists of the Test of Fire, The test of Water and the 2 tests of Stone. Meditation allows your body to recover faster, not just mana but to heal as well. You will need to use this to survive the tests. If you choose to, we can begin tomorrow with the Test of Fire. Then you will be able to delve the Kobold Cavern again before we move on to the next test.”
I looked Durin in the eye back and said “I’m in”, Durin turned to Jimmy who said “I’m going to wait to see how things work out for Joe here before I agree to anything. I figure I can use the time to train weapons at Ludus Treekiller.”
---
We sat at the table a while chatting about the trials, when a young dwarf maybe the equivalent age of 10, ran in. “Chieftain, Master Treekiller and guests have arrived.”
Durin waved, “Send then in, and run to the kitchens to get more drink and food for all.”
In came an odd assortment, A giant orc nearly as big as an ogre was first stooping through the low door, followed by a lizardman wider than the orc, but much shorter. Last was an Elf in green leathers carrying a bow and a light curved sword and last a child. A radiantly happy golden-haired child, in brigandine armor, and with a mustache.
“Greeting Ludus Treekiller, I see you brough the whole faculty. Gorak, good to see you, are you willing to take my bet?” The lizard and orc stepped aside and the elf drew back the chair nearest the door, The Golden child? Halfling? It had to be a halfling, no kid sported a full Tom Sellek ‘stache, jumped into the chair and sat. “I will put a week of my drinking against a week of your eating on my dime Durin, that you will not impress me.” said the alto voice almost bored.
Durin’s eyes sparkled “Done?” and the Halfling replied “Done”. Food and drink came in, Durin waved to the chairs and the rest of Ludus Treekillers teachers sat as well, their rigid formality dropping away. The halfling, who apparently was called “Gorak Treekiller’ was on his second pint. I thought it was going to be the Orc just from the name, I bet there is a story there.
Durin puts his loop helmet and the piece of leather on the lazy Susan and spins it to me. I place my 2 rings on it and spin it to the Golden-Haired Gorak.
Gorak stands up in his chair and used the helm to examine the rings. He stares at them intensely, and then begins to stroke his mustache in thought. He flits his eyes to me for a measuring look, then to Jimmy. Durin nodded and pointed to an imaginary helmet. Gorak starts stroking his mustache slower but more forcefully, I can hear his foot being tapping beneath the table. Clearly, he doesn’t need a loupe to see what the rings are.
Gorak meets Durin’s eyes. Durin says “Lost, but a replacement in 90 days”. Gorak takes the mug and begins to drink. I don’t know why he bothers with the mug, he drinks them like shot glasses, emptying the pitcher in a matter of breaths. Turing back to Durin, Gorak asks “Do we have any alcohol, real alcohol. I find my mind quite invigorated at the possibilities. “
Durin took the bottle he hid at his feet when his mother came in, and spins it around on the table. Gorak dumps it into his mug, and drinks it identically to the way drank the ale, continuing to think and stroke his mustache. Soon after he empties it into the mug again, and knocks it back in one go.
When Gorak starts nodding. Durin says. “The church is now open to non-Eldar. Joe there hasn’t said it, but I suspect that a race conversion to Eldar is an option during the conversion, if that route seems the best.“
Gorak looks truly surprised for the first time tonight, “And give up Halfling women? No thank you!”
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
Gorak turns to me and asks “You only recruiting members, or Clergy too?”
I reply “There are only two of us, and we intend to be adventurers. We’re recruiting for all positions. We also need training for our new careers, especially Jimmy. Axe, axe and shield, and long bow”.
Gorak’s eye’s sparkled again “Dagger not good enough for you?” he said his voice dancing with repressed laughter.
I chuckle and say “Okay you got me, dagger or short sword for both of us. Big fan of the cinquedea personally. no idea how to use it though, just think it looks bad ass. Need a lot of polish on my crossbow too, once I get my hands on one.“
Durin says “On it, it’ll be a basic one, but we can make it happen, 60 missiles each?”
“I’d rather do at least a hundred, honestly” I said.
Durin bonks himself on the head, “Och right laddie, Gar’s inventory.”
Gorak raised an eye brow at this. Durin said “Close the doors, what we say next is secret.”
Once all the doors were closed, he addressed Gorak again. “Garabal grants his disciples unlimited inventory with 100% weight reduction. He could have a merchant vessel in there and be unencumbered, if he could find a way to lift it first.”
Gorak whipped his eyes to me, “All members, or just Eldar?”
“Honestly, Jimmy and I have it, and we’re both Eldar, so we don’t know. Jimmy was a conversion though, as Durin surmised.”
Gorak’s slitted eyes burned into me, an intensity I wouldn’t’ have thought him capable of producing “If I bring you two men who are willing to convert, can we do that in lieu of payment for training?”
Durin bonked his forehead again “Ach, smuggling, why didn’t I think of that?”
Gorak laughed, “You’re too honest Durin, far too honest. Luckily where you end Durin, I pick up.” His smile once again as pure and innocent as a child’s. I was learning not to trust that smile, I suspect many a Halfling lass has learned this lesson before me.
I interject, “Again there are only two of us so far, so we don’t know. I’m willing to give it a try. Jimmy seriously wanted to convert; your people may need to feel the same.”
Gorak nodded back at me “Agreed, I’d like all my team to read the book once you get through with it. I’m sure Durin and all his brothers want a whack too.
I nodded and said, “When convenient, sure. I need to set up a Temple, and dedicate it to him. Any ideas? My sister’s life literally depends upon it.
Gorak ponders, “Well it can’t be above ground, The church of the Architect will just come burn it down. you’re not strong enough for that yet. Let me talk to my friends in the Knitting Society, and I’ll get back to you. I’m pretty sure we can pull off a church, not sure about a temple.
I raise an eyebrow, “Knitting Society?”
Gorak’s teeth shine and his eyes twinkle brightly, but Durin answers with just as much amusement, “It’s the name of the local Thieves, Conmen and Assassins Collective, guild implies far too much organization.”
Gorak’s face sours, “I prefer adventurers of negotiable virtue myself, but he gets the essence across.”
Durin laughs so hard he chokes on his Ale, “You are thieves not whores, Gorak.” Durin turns to me, “It’s also the local watering hole for Merc’s and Gladiators, dirty deeds done dirt cheap and all that.”
The lizard man speaks for the first time, a lovely tenor, only the slightest hiss on the s and other sibilants “Also controls the bookies, beggars, and the actual whore houses, though they are not full members. Dues, but no vote.”
I send a quick prayer to Gar, “Yo Gar, you need to tell me now, if you have a problem with recruiting scum and villainy, cause that’s the way this is going!”
Durin spoke after a small thoughtful silence. “Gorak you willing to take them on for training for the duration in exchange for 2 recruits. You’d better make them masters of their craft, or at least legitimate seekers of that kind of skill. Garabal always seemed to prefer that, even in the weird edge cases. He’d always go out of his way to help a true craftsman, no matter their god.”
Gorak finished his drink and said “Yes, yes, of course, I agree.”
“And the bet Gorak?”
“Are you going to make me say it Durin?”
“How hard will it be to collect my winnings if I don’t get you to admit it in front of witnesses?”
Gorak threw his hands in the air, splashing whisky out of his full mug, and said “Fine, fine, yes you won, a week of eating on my dime. But I get to hold the bottle for tonight” he says his eyes suddenly sharp and his voice flat.
Gorak turned to us “You two, show up in the morning in full gear, with your wasters.”
Jimmy and I nodded.
Durin tuned back to Gorak, negotiating temporary access to the ‘Ever-full Whisky Bottle’.
----
After the meeting wound to a close, we put all our gear away and walked our gravity just slightly randomized by excess drink. It causing just the occasional a hint of a stagger on our path back to the Grey Goat. Someone was singing off key at the top of their voice, but every time I looked at Jimmy he was silent and bleary eyed. I wish whoever it was would shut up.
Along the way, some shadowy forms blocked our way. 2 in front and 2 in back.
I laugh and say, “Man are you guys going to regret thish when the Knitting Shociety hearsh, we have things they want.”
The larger of the shadows in front of us, pulled a short sword and began to play with the tip, “Easy to say, harder to prove, so we’ll just take whatever they want as well. We saw you carry a sword in, we want everything.”
I know I can summon things into my hands, I decide to try something creative, I imagine a paper-doll of me in my current gear next to my inventory, and drop my chain mail on it. then the rest of my armor and gear.
In a blink, I’m fully geared up, except for my shield. “Schweet!” I say somewhat sloppily.
Jimmy laughs, “You have -GOT- to teach me how you did that.”
“Just imagine a painting of you, ash you are now, and drop the gear on to it. “
Jimmy’s Byrnie appears on him in a blink. “Oh man, thish is so cool!”
The big shadow blinks and then waves his sword in front of us, “Um, Hello, Robbery here! please pay attention.”
I decide in my near infinite wisdom to stall him long enough for Jimmy to git his full kit. On the party only channel I said, “Jimmy step behind me, so we can fight back-to-back.”
I pull myself together and To the robber I say, “Oh right, Shorry, you were trying to intimidate us, how rude of me, please, continue, you have my fullest attention.” At this I bowed and simpered at him ironically, barely staggering as I did so..
“That’s right, the way I see it, 4 of us, against 2 of you, so hand it over.”
I hold up a finger of my left hand and correct him, “3” though it comes out more like “THHHHreee”.
He gives me a confused look, “What?”
“It’s 3 of you to two of us.” I say, in a tone of complete reasonability, wobbling only slightly.
He looks about ‘How do you figure that?”
I point to the guy on his right side, “That one is going to be blind before things kick off. You shouldn’t count on him.”
“What?”
“Blind, can’t see, you know like when you close your eyes and then can’t ever open them again, blind.”
Shaking his head, he says “What, how do you figure that?” I began to suspect this robber might be drunk… How rude!
I point my left hand at him like a finger gun, so my ring, which I’ve shifted back to my left hand on the paperdoll, Is pointing straight at his face and say “I’m gonna do that and he’ll be blind, that’s my magic finger.”
All the thugs laugh, the biggest said, “When you pull it do you fart?”
“No this”, and I fire the most concentrated fire I can directly into the man’s eyes. The thugs jump back and all their weapons are out in the open pointing at me. They are too startled to react for a second, so I continue “See, Like I was saying It’s not 4 to 2, it’s even odds 2 on two. Not great odds for you at all.”
I swing my hand ponderously to the big thug pointing my finger gun at him, “You have to ask yourself, He can do it, once, can he do it twice? Whadda ya think, do you feel lucky punk?”
Aaaand that epic movie reference went right over their heads. What a disappointment.
Biggun brings his fingers to his lips as if he’s going to whistle, “Ah Ah Ah, whistle and you burn. I wouldn’t do that. Even if your allies win, you’ll still be blind, and I’m just guessing here, horribly disfigured. You have two seconds to run, or I’ll burn you now.”
Jimmy speaks his voice bright chipper, “Cool, you can put an arrowsh on your bowstring on the painting too! Oh! You can have two painting and schwap them. This is so cool!”
I laugh, “Ok, I have to try that too. Suddenly a locked, cocked and loaded crossbow is in my left hand, I shoot Biggun in the leg and then swap back to the ring, and blast him with a cone of fire covering his upper half completely No dodging this one. Toasty marshmallows please…
Next, I turn it into full on blowtorch, and play it all over his sword and the hand grasping it. I hear a shuffle behind me and turn so I’m facing perpendicular and can turn my head to the front or back.
The two thugs behind us are turning to run, Jimmy leisurely puts an arrow in to each of their legs, then flashes back to axe and shield. “Oh my god, that is sho sho ssso much fun. We’re going to need to practice doing that in battle. Takesh too much concentration as it is… but sssoo sssoo sssoo fun.”
“Agreed.” I pulled my crossbow bolt from crispy bigguns leg, and left him lying in the mud. “Be sure to tell the Knitting Society, so when they find out they can be pissed off too! Night biggun!”
That night when we went to bed, I practiced my paper doll a bit and then sat one of the butterflies on my forehead and went to sleep praying somewhat randomly to Garabal.