It turns out Stonehammer and Sons, and Ludus Treekiller were right next to the dungeon in a part of town called ‘The Duchy’. I wondered if it was extra territorial, like the area of the same name in London? We headed over and checked in to a recommended Inn with the inspiring name “The Grey Goat” and a sign with keg of beer and bed and a painted goat, of a color I’ll just let you guess, hanging above the door. Once we had a double room reserved there, I bought us a dinner of more street food. Skewers again, though not as good as the ones from Plainsford. Since this was a celebratory dinner, I sprinkled a bit of the seasonings from my backpack on them to pump up the flavor.
Stonehammers was a dour stone building in an area of dour stone buildings all with metal roofs. I suspected this was either the dwarven area, or the crafters area or both. Some places had Shop fronts with adventuring gear on display of all kinds. Others just had sign above the door with pictures of the goods they sold along their names.
We entered under the sign for “Stonehammer and Son’s” entering a stark grey room with a counter and a bell the size of my head and a small hammer on a chain connected to it. I picked up the hammer and gave the bell a swift Rap. As the sound reverberated, a young dwarf came up from out back, stepped up on the platform behind the counter and asked a light Scottish brogue “Canna help you Laddie?”.
I handed over my letter of introduction, and said “Ilia Ivanov recommended Durin Stonehammer for some business of mine.”
The dwarf with barely any chin stubble grabbed the hammer and played a quick rhythm on the bell. Then he turned to me and said “My Name’s Alicia, I’m Durin’s Daughter, If ye want anythin’ non magical while you are waitin’, I can help ya.”
I blinked a few times and then gestured to Jimmy beside me, “This lad is heading with me back into the dungeon. 2nd time for both of us. He needs a helm and basic arm and leg armor that will allow him to shoot a bow and swing and axe both with and without a scutum, which he also needs. He has a Chain Byrnie, and Gambeson, a bow, a quiver and a woodsmans Axe. His Max Budget is 5 silver Crowns. If you can get him a few score more arrows for his bow, that’d be great too. His name is Jimmy.”
Alicia gave Jimmy a down up down look, and said “Och sure, follow me lad” and walked back through the door, she’d entered. Jimmy followed her quickly turning to mouth “Daughter?” at me. I responded my mouthing “Be nice” back at him, and left him to her tender mercies.
I studied the town map a while, and soon a taller, older hairier Dwarf stepped up behind the counter. And said “I’m Durin.” I passed the letter of introduction over again, and repeated my introduction.
Durin looked it over and handed it back “OK, what do ya need?”
I pulled out my sword and sat it on the counter. “First, I’d like to get an estimate on having a durability heal enchantment added to this sword. Second I’d like a minor regeneration item for my team mate, whom your daughter is equipping now. I’m open for suggestions on single digit silver crown upgrades if you see something we don’t”
Durin picked the sword. Examining it closely and said “Tall skinny kid, freckles, never been to the city before?”
I smiled and replied “Yep that’s him.”
Durin nodded and Kept examining the sword, grading it as he went “Interesting style, I like the hand guard. Nice balance. Needs trimming fer ya at the back. Nice steel, Ground not forged. Tempered well for a mundane maker. Edge is for cutting, but not armor… then his muttering got to quiet to follow.
In a moment he laid the sword back on the counter “I can put a basic Durability charm on it for 3 silver crowns. But honestly it needs more. I can give it a Stonehammer Standard Enchantment™, that’s 20 extra durability, Durability Heal 1 per day same as the charm, Sharpness, Point and Edge protection, which will make it cut though any armored foes you want, without destroying that edge. Much better than fucking it up and waiting a day for it to recover. We put the standard enchantment on every weapon we sell, so we do it in bulk. I’ll cut out this wrist slot at the back of the basket, where there is wearing from it biting your wrist. I’ll cost 3 silver crows and 5 silver knuts, but I can’t get it back to you till tomorrow. Lemme see your hand.
I sat my sword hand into his and he looked at it with the same scrutiny. “Edge and Point fighter, thin thin gloves, Tight at the wrist. Half gauntlet articulated thumb. Can’t tell what.” He looked at me and asked, “What was your Half gauntlet made of and why did It move around like that? Surprised I said “Abs plastic, a kind of hardened resin, with a thin foam backing, roughly as tough as hardened leather, but more stable. The straps that held it in place were thin round elastic, so if it bound up it would styretch and move instead of messing with my shot”
Durin looked at my hand a bit longer and said “I’ll throw in a pair of gloves close to what you are used to and a half gauntlet that will work better and not need those stretchy straps, for a total of 4 silver crowns. Be done tomorrow. I’ll add the hard and soft triggers to the sword that you’re used to while I’m at it. That’s free, because I want to play with it before I give it back and see how the triggers affect the sword. Soft 2 finger trigger of thin rope up front, hard metal trigger in the back, yes?”
I nodded, unable to speak, blinking slowly. I was astounded at the detail he’d picked up just by looking.
“I’ll do the triggers first, so the enchantment affects them too. And reshape the handle at the same time. I don’t have one with a hilt like this, but do you want a matched waster for training? I can give you a cruciform one now and a basket hilted one tomorrow when you pick up the sword. 2 bronze Knuts each. Since Ilia sent you, I assume yer next stop is Treekillers?”
“Um yes, yes, it is.”
Durin nodded firmly meeting my eyes, “Good, he’ll tune you up. What was your budget for the boy?”
“I told Alicia 5 silver crowns?”
“Ye’d better make it 6, he needs a backup weapon and a magic map. 6 and a half if you want a magic map too.”
I nodded enthusiastically “Yes please, we’re both practically first-time delvers, I’m open to your suggestions. We went once and it was clear how unprepared I was.”
Durin whisked the sword aside and said “put the rest of your gear here” I put the gear from Sara, the potions and Magic stones on the counter. Then pointed to my rings and said “Do you need to look at these rings?”
Durin was already head down in the Hauberk, “In a moment, let me finish here first” He muttered again for a while and said “Decent quality, ok enchantments but they need to be reset, been stored too long. It’ll do. You’ll need a new pair of boots soon, but not yet. Before I look at your rings, how big is your inventory?”
“Big enough, why?”
“That’s what I thought, put all this back in and put your rings here, I need to grab a loop.” Durin unrolled a piece of soft leather onto the counter and pointed to it.”
Not sure if I was more bemused by his ability, or his efficiency, I put both rings on the leather. Durin came back, his “Jeweler’s loop” actually a helmet with multiple lenses that could be move up and down for use.
If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
When Durin picked up first ring “Fix0” he froze for a good 10 seconds, then started rapidly flipping visors and lenses up and down. He gave me a -Hard- Look, and swapped over to “Burnin8”. He then gave Burnin8 the same treatment, still cradling Fix0 in his hands as he did it.
He flipped up all his visors and looked at me and said “500 crowns for the pair.”
I straighten up my face a mask of confusion, “Silver?”
Durin replied, cradling the rings to his chest like I’d insulted a baby “Don’t be Daft lad, Gold, 500, no 600 Crowns of good yellow gold for the pair.”
Still confused I said, “Um I’m sorry I can’t sell them”
Durin gave me a hard, hard look and said “A thousand Gold Crowns, right now on the barrel head”.
“I really can’t sell them, they are kind of on loan to me, not my property.”
Durin countered quickly “5 gold crowns for the name and address of the owner.”
“Uh, he’s doesn’t have an address here, they belong to my God. I kind of borrowed them.”
Durin snapped back, “Bullshit, Garabal the Maker has been dead for a thousand years or more. The Eldar have been gone even longer.”
Finally beginning to get what was going on, this guy knows who Gar was…is… This could be big. “Umm not dead, he’s been retired, but still alive, he’s back in the game. I’m his new disciple.”
“Bullshit, he only accepts Eldar worshipers.”
“Well, firstly, can you see my character sheet? look at my race? Secondly, he seems to have relaxed that requirement, Eldar being so… thin on the ground like. Non Eldar are now ok.”
Durin squinted at me, looking hard again, thinking furiously, then flipped down the big full-face visor on his helmet. He wobbled slightly, and took a step backwards, started to reach out and catch himself, then recoiled, wrapping himself around the rings like he was protecting a newborn and crashed to the ground behind the counter. After a few seconds lying there muttering to himself, Jimmy and Alicia came out from the back.
Alicia said “Dad, are ye okay? You ye need something?”
Durin still dazed said “Aye lass, help me up, I have to protect these.” She helped him to his feet facing her, his eyes, the visor still down, landed on Jimmy.
Durin froze again for a second then said “Moradin’s Mithril Cock, there’s two of them”.
In a tone of voice familiar to fathers of teen daughters everywhere Alicia said “Daaaaaad!” in a way that clearly expressed embarrassment to the point of mortification.” Okay, she really was his daughter. Who Knew?
“Alicia, shut down the front office, close all the doors, we are going into lockdown, everyone to keep working except for your uncles, bring all of my brothers here, and send a runner for Grandpa, he’ll want to see this. Tell them to bring their loops and other gear to look at enchantments. Be quick girl, run those long legs of yours.”
I looked down and Alicia’s legs were in fact slightly less stumpy than her fathers. Slightly.
When I looked back, Durin had gently set the rings back on the soft leather, and turned to look at Jimmy. “Was she finished lad?”
“Uh no, she was taking measurement and we were talking… We hadn’t picked anything out.”
‘Ach, damn that flirtatious minx, hang on.”
Durin picked up the hammer, rang out a longer staccato rhythm.
Jimmy was still standing there, silently repeating the word “flirtatious” at me in clear bafflement.
Taking pity on him I said “Durin measured me by -EYE-.”
At that Jimmy flushed a scarlet that frankly has me worried about an aneurism.
Durin started chuckling evilly and looking at Jimmy, I added gently “His heart is already set on the healer of Plainsford’s Daughter, Sara is a friend of his father.”
Durin looked at me and said “Och, ye take all the fun out of it.”
I chucked back, “Oddly, that’s almost exactly what Sara said.”
Two young dwarfs, identical down to the long flowing beards appeared. Durin said “Jimmy, these are my Nephews Billun and Rolo. Boys, this is Jimmy, full kit, 10 silver crowns, family discount. The good accessories standard enchantments on everything, archer and axeman, wants a scutum shield too.”
And the two young dwarves look of incredulity Durin continued “Yes, I know, he’s not a dwarf, it doesn’t have to make sense.”
Durin turned to me one hand out, “Byrnie”, I pulled it out and handed it to him. He immediately threw it to the boys “Get him ready, stat, -run- lads, your midwinter bonusses are on the line”.
The twins, eyes got big and they grabbed Jimmy and disappeared with him at warp speed. When I looked around all the doors and windows were shut and covered by metal shutters. How had they done that without me noticing?”
I stared to ask Durin a question and he held up a finger, “Just a bit lad, please my dad will not want to miss a second of this, my midwinter bonus will burn like excelsior if he missed a fart from one of those butterflies on your shoulder.”
Blinking I looked at my shoulder and I’ll be damned, Mina’s tiny butterflies were there, How the hell did I forget about them. Sure, when I was running from the palmetto bugs, but on the raft? WTF? I was supposed to talk to Gar. Tonight, I promised myself tonight.
Durin turned to me, “Do you trust Treekiller?”
Scrunching up my eyes I said, “Uh, I haven’t met him, Ilia is a good guy so far, but trust? I trust Jimmy, maybe Sara… Hell, I’m not sure I trust YOU yet.”
“Och, right…hang on lad”
Durin rang the bell twice more and grabbed paper, it sure didn’t look like parchment, I’ll have to say paper, and started rapidly making notes.
An immensely strong dwarf, older than Durin, but still hale, wandered up slowly with unflappable quiet confidence. “Aye?”
Durin handed him the piece of paper and then my sword, “I need a #7 on that and everything on the paper in one hour.”
The other dwarf was reading the paper and scratching his beard. “We’re doing a batch of #7s in the morning, why do you want this done tonight?”
Durin, clearly enjoying the situation whispered “Because I want to remember what my midwinter bonus smells like if dad finds out we DIDN’T do it in about ten minutes? Delegate to get it done, you’ll want to be at the meeting. I’m bringing the bottle.”
Scratching his head, the other dwarf said “Fine! you don’t have to get dad involved, I’m supposed to get that new anvil this year. Ya didn’t have to get all pissy about it….geeze…what a hardass…” and wandered back taking my stuff with him muttering quiet imprecations on Durin’s character.
Another much younger dwarf, clearly a teen, clearly slightly sullen about being interrupted at whatever he was doing, walks out and says in the tone of annoyed teens of all races, “What dad?”.
“Lad, go get Treekiller and ask him to come here. Tell him that if he doesn’t like what I’m about to show him, he drinks on me for a week.”
The kid looked at Durin “A week, are you serious, have you seen Treekiller drink?”
Durin’s eyes were twinkling, “Lad tell you what, if Treekiller gets here before grandpa, not only will you drink on me for a week too, I’ll tell grandpa you’ve been kicking ass even more than you actually have this year… how’s that?”
The kids voice actually broke at that, to his clear chagrin “But, Midwinter bonuses!?!” and zipped away faster than the twins.
“HA!” Went Durin, clearly amused, “That boy of mine, He’s a pure Genius he his, takes after his mother that way, but god does he KNOW he’s a genius… So fun to tweak his whiskers like that. He hasn’t run like that since candy was involved.” Durin kept chucking to himself… “Dad already bought him a masterwork set of enchanted engraving tools, he’ll shit a brick from happiness when he opens it.”
Laughing, I asked “Does you dad really run things via Christmas presents?”
“Och, aye he does, we don’t celebrate midwinter underground you see. No winter. So even after more than a generation, the kids are still super excited about it. He does it at midsummer too. I used to think he was an utter shit about it. But now that I’m buying them for everyone not directly related to him, I have to admit, it’s a crazy amount of fun. The trick is really listening and figuring out the best presents for them. What they -really- want or better what they need. Especially if they don’t even know they want or need it. Wait till you have kids lad, it’s a blast. Thank Moradin for my wife, she always knows the best gifts when I get stuck.”
“What did you get her this year?” I had to ask.
“Enchanted socks, out of the softest cloud silk you’ve ever seen, makes a babies ass feel like sandpaper. Self-cleaning and always keep her feet toasty warm. Hat and gloves are commissioned for next year too… All in her favorite color, a deep gemlike purple…“
I just silently held out my fist for bumping. Nodding and making the universal face of approval of great wisdom…
Durin didn’t leave me hanging.