the world of siege, all the kingdoms of the world tremble at the newly arisen demon lord, no-one from there world would dare to oppose him, so the biggest kingdom decided to "borrow" someone who would. 

(in the kings' court)

(many mages gather around a magic circle)

[the head mage]..we are here to summon a hero for our world in its hour of need,...at your command your highness, we are ready to begin the ritual.

[his highness]...begin!

[the mages]mecalecahimecahiniogivusaherotobattleevilforgoo-

{one of them farts due to some beans and cabbedge he had}

(one of them)dLORD, what is that smell!

{the one on the other side of the offender vomits on the circle}

[the head mage]OH-NO!, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU IMBISI-

{the circle shines bright, blinding them all momentaraly}

LLLLLLLLLEEES!

.......................

{after the light dies down, they all look to see a small person curled up in the center of the circle}

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

{the figure gets up, revealing a body that's just "off" looking, with thin gangly arms and legs, gloved hands, a bowtie, comparatively big shoes, a rectangular body, and a face that has no nose, eyes that look too big for its head, and a mouth too wide and thin)

( it looks around it}

[the head mage]............................what the devil is that thing?.. it's hideous.

[???]...golly,..what the potato salad happened? i was drivin my new auto-mobile home from the shop, and here i am surounded by secret scociety members...did somone spike my martini?

[one of the mages] oh-dear-lord-it-talks.

[the king].....uhhhhhh...well...you seem to be a summoned hero now....

(he regains his composer) we need your help defeating the demon lord.

[???] MMH? {it go's into an old-timey boxing stance}

al-right, show me whare the big palooka his, i'll murdalize him, i'll send him into next summer, i'lle corn his cob, let-mi-at-em, let-mi-at-em!

[one of the mages to the king]...you can't be serious, sir?

[the head mage] do you know how expensive this ritual is?...the treasury just pays for it!

[???]..wait,..treasury?, treasure means ritch!

{suddenly it's wearing a dress, a blond wig, and lipstick, and sitting on the king's lap sideways}

so i heard your verry wealthy big-bo~~y.

.....{one or two of the mages hold back laughter}

[the king] GET THE #$%@ OFF ME!

{tosses it off}

....wait,...did something just make a noise over my words....#$%@,...#$%@!..#$%@!!...what the hell?!..HOW IS THIS HAPPENING!

[???]...{it wiggles it's finger}no bad words, Mr. potty mouth.

[everyoe in almost perfect unison] what the hell are you?

[albert] oh, i almost forgot to introduse myself,..silly me,..{it bows}.. i am Albert cunningham albatross bassoon,..but you can call me al, or Albert.

[the king]...well,...mr. albert,...like it or not, your this world's hope for survival,...you think you can beat the demon king?

[al] i'll definently clean his clock, i'le putt-em in jail an throwaway thi key, i'll cook his-! 

[the king] JUST GO!

[al] will do!

{and so he did, freaking all the staff out}