Once, my head was shoved down a storm drain with my hoodie pulled over it. It was dark, and it hurt. It took me several days for my neck to stop hurting every time I turned my head, which is much more often than you would think.

I felt like that, except worse. It was the situation itself and also the embarrassment of having Chris, Kevin and Sean, three hated bastards, get one over you. They were cunning but stupid. Easy to avoid, and if they were stupid, then it made me stupid that they caught me.

This hurt both physically and in that emotional way with embarrassment that ate at your soul.

Now, darkness and pain wove together to create a monstrosity of torture. It hurt inside, not my guts, but towards where I was working on figuring out my core of mana, energy and skills. It was where the nanites were in the highest concentration, phasing in and out of this reality. My limited understanding suggested that it was not entirely in this energy plane. The upshot was that I was hurting her and in another dimension. It was the worst flu ever. Weakness, nausea, hot and cold flushes. Shivering despite feeling hot. A headache, behind my eyes and deeper. A fucking interdimensional headache.

My god, I hurt.

A familiar void of darkness replaced the blackness. Not entirely conscious, but nearly there.

Kallax: Integration: Stage 1 Complete.

Kallax: Integration: 10.42%. Stage 2: Incomplete. Grow Stronger.

I felt that weird, elastic bubble of thoughts suppressing something. A slight nudge to action.

Sprite, can we not do that again? My head hurts, and my ..well, it would be quicker to list the places where I am not broken, which is nowhere.

Sprite: I have held off on some notifications, so be careful. You have also levelled up, which is nice.

SYSTEM: Do you accept this oath? Y/N

What oath? Just thinking hurts. I thought your brain had no pain things.

Sprite: Receptors. The oath binds you to the Empress tightly. Be careful. She is an unknown.

What is she like? She is supposed to be beautiful. Do I have time to change before I meet her? Good impressions and all that. She is royalty.

Sprite: I am suppressing the pain as much as I can. Focus.

All I wanted right now was for the pain to go. If this would take away the pain, sure, I was in. I needed to do this anyway. Well, everyone expected me to. I had obligations now. Life used to be simple. And pain-free...

Yes.

I could feel every bone knitting back together. Every cell. A trickle of energy and mana.

Quest Updated:

Class quest: Sworn to the Empress (1)

Difficulty Epic

Time Frame: Urgent

The reward for success: Varies, Titles within the Empire, Renown.

Failure: Loss of renown. Loss of classpath. Partial Success

Failure: (Optional) Convince Engrams of Raxemius Janar of your worth.

FAILED Optional. You did not convince Raxemius of your worth.

Success: You have sworn an oath binding to Empress Raechina Jinar.

She demands that you become her Bodyguard and protector. Complete your training to become her sworn Champion.

My eyes were glued shut. I was pretty sure that at one stage, they had nearly boiled from overuse of my skills. I was very fuzzy about events leading up to now. There was a pig. And I could not move. I could not feel anything through the pain.

I felt healing injectors, healing skills, and my regeneration abilities kick in, all fighting against the pain. Something soothing was over me. Or maybe that was just fantasy, hoping something would remove the pain. It was gone. Perhaps I needed more sleep.

Nothing took an edge off the pain.

I could not scream.

Sprite: So you should listen to me more. I am going to try something. This will hurt, but I can sense your pain is already less. I can measure your pain. It is significant.

I didn't think Sprite would lie to me. The pain was not less. I felt my body spasm.

Reboot.

Disconnecting Consciousness.

Kallax: Integration: 30.1%. Stage 2: Incomplete. Grow Stronger.

Kallax Integration progressing.

System online.

Kallax: Integration: 52.14%. Stage 2: Incomplete. Grow Stronger.

Peace

SYSTEM: Removal of corrupted matter from the cerebral cortex. Mind reduced (22% Full regeneration in 150 Days)

SYSTEM: WARNING: Karmic Disease.

You can spread negative Karmic Events.

Highly contagious.

Your Karma Stat has been reduced to quarantine the Karmic Disease (15 hours)

Disconnecting Consciousness.

Reboot.

I felt good. Great even. Crap, 60 points of mind gone for five months.

What happened?

Sprite: Welcome back, Luke. There are some things you need to know.

Can I wake up? I need to see Sarah, and I need to sort out this Bodyguard crap. As much as being a bodyguard for a supposedly beautiful princess sounds fun, it also sounds boring. I need to train.

Sprite: You swore the oath, and you are bound. I said you need to listen to me more. I am suppressing your hormones from outside interference.

How hard can it be? Is she pretty? I'm not interested. When do I meet her? What do you mean by outside interference?

Sprite: There is an Imperial Directive; you are a candidate, and your skills make you amenable to manipulation. I am protecting you from some of that. Currently, you are in the infirmary; you will wake in a few moments. Sarah is here. The Empress is on her way with Xar. You will have a few moments alone with Sarah. I will not pay attention, so you can do your biological things with her. Doing that will reduce the effects of the Empress. We also need to talk about your training.

What! No, wait, it's not like that. Shut up. I don't even want to talk about that right now. I know I need training. Even my stupid quest tells me I need training. What's the point of all this power if you can't even fight a stupid scorpion?

Sprite: to be fair, it was an Incursion Leader. Traditionally, an entire legion of Tier 4 legionnaires, fully equipped with support, would be fighting that with heavy casualties and a limited chance of success.

It would have ripped them apart!

Sprite: Mostly. You are quite the Hero and quite famous. The fight records are making money in the store. When you get a chance, you need to see your new title and the loot. Tangle was quite profitable for you.

I opened my eyes. A blurry figure quickly came into focus.

My god, Sarah was beautiful. She had gone from amazing to super amazing. I felt better just for seeing her. Knowing her, I saw the results of stacked Comeliness. She stood out before, but now, she would turn the heads of pretty much anyone. I slowly got out of bed, testing my newly healed body. As I stood, it surprisingly didn't hurt. I hugged her. She looked like she had been crying. She hugged me back, then slapped me. Hard.

"Bastard, you could have died." she hugged me again.

"What is going on? Have you met the Empress?" I asked smoothly. The first time I saw her, I was asked about another girl. Mike would never do something stupid like that. He had a way with the ladies that I envied, well, I respected. He tended to latch onto friendly women.

She smiled, "Idiot." She kissed me.

"I missed you, but you shouldn't ask about another girl just as I kiss you. Some people might take offence if they didn't know you were a big idiot."

Another slap. More playful. I smiled. Things were getting better.

"We have our party in two days. You were out for 18 hours. You need to thank Rahsaan. Everyone is gearing up for the big event, and it is coming together nicely. No thanks to you. You managed to lounge around while everyone else was super busy."

She slapped me again, "I can't believe you broke both my presents."

What was with the slapping? I knew pulling hair and throwing rocks was a sign of affection in kindy, but I had no idea where all this slapping was coming from.

I got another round of fierce hugs and kisses. "I missed you, but we need to talk after the party. There is so much I need to tell you, Luke."

My stomach fell. Was this a let's be friends moment?

"I'd like that. Did you want to have …?"

The door to the infirmary opened, and Sarah stepped back.

Xar walked in.

"Attention, Legionnaire", he snapped

It was all instinct, and I was at attention. Mostly perfect.

He looked pleased, then whispered, "Don't embarrass yourself or me, please."

The Empress walked in.

I knelt. My oath demanded it. I had never knelt in front of important people before, but I got it right.

"Rise", her voice cut at me, and her request was a command. I could not stop staring. She had a wild smirk on her face.

Sarah was standing there, seemingly unimpressed. "Rach, leave him alone. He is a big idiot."

Xar growled, "Empress, Your Imperial Majesty or Highness, Sarah! Show some respect."

Rachana grinned at me, "I need your services, Luke. You are to be my Bodyguard and protector, and once you meet my requirements, my Champion. I free you from your obligations to the Legion."

Xar growled again, "Your Highness! We talked about this. We need him …."

"Let me finish!" she snapped. Even I felt the power of the command.

"I free you from your obligations to the Legion, but I may release you to detached duties as needed", with a look at Xar, who nodded.

"We will talk later, Empress. I need to know what …" he got cut off with a look.

It wasn't very comforting seeing Xar being shut down so quickly.

"Sarah, I'll see you before the party. I'll come to help you pick your dress. Now, Xar, I am sure you have other duties to attend to. I will no longer require your service as a guard. Now I have a bodyguard. Luke, show me around your quaint, "she paused and looked so regal, "Regional Center. Your first duties are being a tour guide and then dinner. Sarah, Xarius, you may go."

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What have I got myself into?

Sprite: Whatever it is, it should be interesting. I can't get a reading on her, but I believe that visually, she is showing signs of attraction to you. I am not an expert, and she is challenging to read. Still, pupil dilation, body facing you, eye contact, increased heart rate, and mico facial smiles, when you speak, are all on my list of...

Sprite! Stop. I don't even want to think that. Sarah, well, I need to sort that out. Crap Crap. This is worse than Mike and his weird relationship. Maybe I should talk to him. No, I should go back to see Tasar. Possibly, Fossie will still be at Deserts Edge. Crap, why am I thinking of her! …Help me, Sprite.

Sprite: I have just reduced your endorphin production. This should smooth out your emotions, especially post-trauma, when your body naturally balances things. It will also keep your libido at a manageable level. You are not used to the effects of high Comeliness, which can enhance the slightest hint of attraction and make things awkward.

Strangely, I felt a bit more even-keeled.

Sarah gave me a big hug and a peck on the cheek. "Be careful. See you soon. It will all be OK," she said and then left.

Xar looked me over and said, "Well, boy, you could have done worse. You're a better bodyguard than I could be, but keep her safe, or you will have the First Cohort to answer to."

I saluted as he left.

I stared uncomfortably at Raechina.

"Well, you are certainly delicious. I must say that the old dog picked well for a change."

What? She was an Empress.

She looked me over like a sack of meat, "As my Bodyguard, you are to protect me: assassins, agents of Karass and all that. You are my last line of defence. I may also require you to assist in my hand-to-hand training, small arms, and weapons. or now, we will be more relaxed while in this, no offence to you, in this backwater, but we can't be too complacent. Do you know how to be a bodyguard? What are their duties? r do I have to teach you?."

I just watched her. I could wing it. I was not going to give her the pleasure of being totally condescending.

"OK. I will ensure your AI gets the training package. Once we finish tonight, you will complete that. Tomorrow, we will test some of your skills. Xarius will ensure you are up to the job."

Shit. e was a hard task master at the best of times; now, his Epmress was on the line, and his standards would be higher. I kept looking at her, not trusting myself to speak.

"Today, we will tour the settlement, and then I will retire to my suite to discuss your duties in more detail. I will also require access to your shop, and we will discuss your attire for this party that Sarah insists I attend. The only time you are to leave me alone is when you are certain I am safe, or I directly order you to leave."

I nodded. Yes, Ma'am"

"Our AIs are in constant communication if I need anything. If you do not know something, ask, and I will tell you if you need to know. If I ask you to do something, you must do your best to ensure it is done. If not by you, then by the most competent being available."

"This is just the basics of being an Imperial Bodyguard. The list is quite tedious. You will dress suitably and ensure that anyone near me has been scanned and vetted. I am sure you get the picture. When I require refreshments, you are to ensure I get them as soon as possible and that they are of a high standard and not contaminated. Any questions?"

She had a slight smirk on her face.

I stared at her.

"When we return to the Imperial City, you will also oversee recruiting a qualified team. When you are certain of my safety, you may engage in training. You must continue to train. Xarius has left you a training schedule. I am quite impressed. It looks quite interesting. He must like you or hate you. It is hard to tell with him. Eventually, I will employ some assistants; you must ensure they are both safe to work with and not tedious to be around. I cannot abide tedious people. Life is too short to put up with that. If you cannot do that, delegate it to your AI. She seems infinitely more capable than mine."

Sprite: She has been rude to Statia but has been around sentient but not sapient AIs all her life. She will get used to her. I must confess I do like her attitude.

One little compliment, and you are all over her. I didn't think you would be that easy. But I guess she will be our boss for the next little bit, so we need to try to like her. he is beautiful but seems arrogant.

Sprite: She is the Empress.

I felt foolish just staring at her. he was a fairy-tale princess, a beautiful and powerful princess. If I had ever fantasised about rescuing a princess, she was it. Damn, Sarah, for stealing my quest. I could have been the Hero saving the Damsel.

Her presence was mesmerising, and there was a calm about her that seemed not to let anything trouble her. Her poise was captivating.

I knew that I would fall for her big time. Part of it was the oath, part was pure attraction, and a lot was her command and strength. I felt guilty about Sarah, but she had essentially friend-zoned me. Was I reading too much into what Sarah said? Ugh. Shit.

Crap. I was useless at this. I couldn't ask Mike for advice. Maybe even Hawk. Either of those two would have half a clue. Hawk seemed to have some interesting takes on relationships, although the orc perspective was quite aggressive. I needed help.

Here was someone as powerful as I was, who was confident…I stopped those thoughts. Who was I kidding? I was a no-one. Sure, I had some titles and some impressive stats, but what had I done to deserve the attention of the leader of the known Empire? She took me from feeling like her equal to being inadequate in a heartbeat.

Damn her smile.

She shook me out of my daydream, "On second thoughts, we should retire and discuss your duties in more detail now. I am sure you are hungry after your recent injuries. I also believe you have some notifications and loot to go over. I have a permanent suite at the resort. You have some transportation outside. Let's go."

I led her out. What was I getting myself into?

Sprite: I recommend caution. Your biological signs are showing elevated levels...

Not now, Sprite. Hard enough to concentrate right now. I thought you were dampening them.

Sprite: I was. I had investigated the doses for adult humans, not teenage boys. Your hormones are out of control. The damn passive Imperial Directive. Your stats should make you immune to her Charisma and Comliness.

I am not a teen. When does it settle down?

Sprite: anywhere from 15 to 35 years old.

Damn.

I watched her and replayed her every move as she glided into the room. Her gown looked ceremonial yet practical, and she took everything in and was ready to pounce at a moment's notice. If there was trouble, I was unsure if she needed my protection. She was calm and deadly.

I got Sprite to flag our newly trained Min Min Uber driver, not that Uber was a thing anymore. However, we were still using the name, and if they came looking for a breach of copyright or whatever, Julie would deal with the lawyers.

Pete was a competent driver, and he had asked Mike for a loan to get an AI and a vehicle. e was making a packet, and Mike was getting a return. e took us to the resort from the infirmary along the newly paved roads. Every time I came here, I was amazed. Things were changing so quickly. t was the height of luxury and relaxation. Pete dropped us off, and Rachel opened the door for us, well-presented in her resort uniform and perfect in her formal greeting for the Empress. I didn't know her, but Mike was quite happy she was here with his brother.

I nodded to her and escorted the Empress into the foyer. I was amazed at how well Rachel had adapted to the position to be able to deal with royalty. he seemed happy, too.

Sprite put a HUD arrow up for me to follow, and we went to the private penthouse elevators. Seconds later, we entered the suite. It was over the top. This would have been suitable if I were an evil dictator with billions of dollars. I smiled. I could get used to this. We entered the room.

The princess, or Empress now, pulled me out of my daydream, "Not too bad for a small outpost,"

She smirked her flirty, evil smile at me.

"Now run me a bath, maybe bubbles. No, I definitely need bubbles. It has been five thousand years since I had one of those, you know, and then order some of your Earth wine and something light to eat. When the bath is ready, let me know, then bring the wine and food for me. I have cleared all my tedious meetings, and I will relax. I will pick some music and think I'll start working on your outfit for the Gala. I also need to make sure you can dance. How is your etiquette? You will need at least Imperial Cout Etiquette skills. You will not embarrass me at the Gala."

The last was a command.

I felt it trying to enforce itself somewhere inside. I quickly squashed it and ignored it. I am not sure which bit of all that scared me the most—possibly her picking my outfit, although my brain went all over the place thinking about the bubble bath. If she didn't pick it, Sarah would. Fuck my life. Now I was hen-pecked and had no say in what I was going to wear. I already had some decent clothes. Sarah had picked them, but evidently, you could not wear clothes you had worn before. Waste of time and money if you ask me.

"Yes, Ma'am", was all I said.

I was tempted to throw out an "As you wish", but who knew what Earth entertainment she had seen? The Princess Bride was a classic, and I didn't want to send mixed messages to her. I was already all over the place and starting to feel I needed to stop those trains of thought. I was her Bodyguard. I was still sorting out how Sarah and I were. I needed to stop thinking about the beautiful lady here with me. I smiled. Amn, Kevin Costner and his stupid movie.

I don't know why she thought I had any idea about wine or light meals. When I ordered wine before all the crap, I just asked for advice or googled it. There were rules, and I probably broke them all the time. Now, I had no idea what she wanted or liked, so I asked Sprite to organise a couple of bottles of the most expensive wine and some large steaks, well, one large and one light one. I had no idea what light food was, but you could not go wrong with steak. God, I hoped she was not gluten-intolerant or Vegan. Being Epic, I would have thought she would not have any digestive issues. Who knows about mental issues? Crap. Was eating Tiered monster meat Vegan? Well, Earth beef steaks and salad it was.

She glided gracefully to the bedroom as I finished dealing with the gastronomical dilemma. I watched, then stomped over to the bath. I could handle Bodyguard, but errand boy or butler, no thanks. If I were fetching and running around, this would be pretty boring pretty quickly especially if she kept up the regal I am better than everyone persona.

She was the Empress, so I guess she was entitled to feel entitled.

At least she said I could train. I needed to get out and train, and I couldn't see a way for that to happen if I waited around on her. I remembered the rumours, spoiled brat. I could see that.

The bathroom was huge. It stopped me dead as I looked over its magnificence. The shower was huge, and the bath was huge—a walk-in tub for at least four people. One bathroom wall was dominated by mirrors running along its length above the vanity units. There were towels, robes, all manner of bathroom needs, oils, gels, shampoos, and things I had no idea about. Sprite promised to let me know if I needed them.

I am sure it was essential to make you clean if you were filthy rich. I found some scented oils that didn't smell too bad, some bubble stuff that Sprite assured me met the criteria for a bubble bath. I had to pick between seven different things. Was Joop Homme better than Lady Million or Marshmallow Fireside? No idea. I chose Pink Lemonade and Bubblegum. I found something called bath bombs that sounded cool, as well as a bag of red flower petals I'd seen used in a movie with a bathroom about this size.

I ran the bath.

Sprite, remind me to get my shield fixed. I assume that was what Sarah was talking about? Can the sword be repaired?

Sprite: Yes. It was not destroyed, just grossly deformed. It held up remarkably well. The sword will need to be looked at before we know what is wrong with it, and a spirit smith, soul smith, or binder is required to ensure it does not lose any potency. Otherwise, the weapon spirit will heal naturally, which will take a long time, decades, depending on the severity of the damage.

The room steamed up quite a bit, fancy hotels with no air vents in the bathroom. It always annoyed me in any of my homes when the bathrooms got all steamy because there were no exhaust fans. Damn, magic should take care of this. Damn, why was I even grumbling about this, running a bath? I needed to train, not babysit a princess.

I threw in the bubbles, the bomb, the oils, and the petals. It smelled nice enough and looked OK. At least I knew how to run a fancy bath now. I might try one later, but I'd have to pick a less floral smell. I could do with a good soak and relaxation.

I checked it and made sure it was hot but not boiling. I moved all the necessary towels and robes beside the bath for easy access.

I turned to leave and stopped. Raechina was gliding across the floor, smiling at me. She was wearing a fluffy white bathrobe.

She stopped beside me, smiled, and said, "Thank you. Bring the food in when it arrives. I think I'll eat in here."

Then she removed the robe and gave it to me before walking into the tub.

I stopped. My brain froze. She was amazing for a five-thousand-year-old!

She turned around and smiled, "Is that room service I hear?"

I fled from her giggling.

What the fuck was that.

She could not do that to me.

I had to get away from her. This was not going to work out. I was going to go insane, we needed to set boundaries, and she needed to respect them. What would Xarius do? Other than kicking my ass.

He would be cool. He had next to no emotions. I could not get involved as much as I might want to. I didn't know her. All I knew was that she was smoking hot and, from the sounds of it, trouble, capital T Trouble. This entire Bodyguard was going to be torture.

Maybe I could run away. Mike would kill me, but he would understand. It would be the same as when he fell for Megan. He just avoided her until she got a boyfriend. Crap. I couldn't talk to Mike. I'd have to talk to Hawk.

She was the Empress! Didn't they learn to be respectful or something? But given who her father was, respect was relative. My front lizard brain was working overdrive, and my body was having difficulty not responding.

Sprite, are there skills that let you disconnect your emotions?

Sprite: Yes. However, they are usually only used for short periods as there is a risk of psychosis, developing narcissistic personality disorders, and becoming sociopathic. You are fighting her Stats, Charisma and Comliness, as well as an Imperial Directive and your biological urges.

OK OK. No turning off emotions. What about biological urges?

Sprite: Yes, but again, it is not recommended unless there are strong reasons. If you concentrate, you can use your Focus, Wisdom, and Charisma to reduce the effects of your Body. Having your Mind stat higher than your Body stat would also help. Your problem is that your stats are flat, so it is difficult for you to suppress them. Meditation may help.

I thought back to how she had treated me, not quite dismissive, and always smirking as if she knew exactly what she wanted. She was probably used to hundreds of servants running around after her; tormenting me was possibly a nice break for her.

I sighed.

The meal had indeed arrived. It was on a posh serving cart, with a silver cover over the dinner and two cutlery services. A bucket of ice with two bottles of white wine and two glasses sat beside it. A man was standing beside it. "Do you require service, sir?" he asked.

"Um, no, all good, mate" I needed to work out how to operate in this high-status and wealthy situation. Was I supposed to tip him? Despite being independently wealthy, I did not go out of my way to hang with that crowd. And despite having some wealth to my name growing up, I was a bit clueless about some expectations of the wealthy elite. Luckily, he left without looking like I had done anything wrong. He was probably used to weird, rich people. I wasn't, though.

Do we tip?

Sprite: Alakaʻi confirmed that you don't have to. You can, but it is not expected.

I wish they would say yes or no. If they leave it to you, I think you end up looking cheap if you don't and pretentious. Fuck. Send him some credits. No idea how much. 100?

Sprite: 10 should do. I will take care of it.

He nodded, bowed, "Thank you, sir" and then left.

I wheeled the cart over to the dining area, went to the bathroom, and was about to knock.

"Just come in and put it beside me. We can dine in here," she called. I could hear the smile and smirk on her face just from the sound of her voice. I knew she was reeling me in.

Blushing, I entered. Luckily, she was submerged and covered in bubbles. Not that it was that much better. She pointed to a spot beside the tub,

"Just there. Pour a glass to start."

I put the tray out and covered the meal, keeping my eyes on the food and drink. The meal smelt heavenly. I didn't need to eat but still enjoyed the food and craved specific tastes. I poured some wine, placing the glass beside the meal. It was French wine. I thought that you were supposed to have red wine with red meat. Well, whatever, she was getting this. I put the glass down beside her.

"Join me," she said as she reached for the glass...

I sputtered.

She laughed, "You are adorable. For a glass of wine."

"It's inappropriate for your bodyguard to drink while on duty."

I scrambled and tried to work a way out of there.

"Well, in that case, I'll pour it for you," she stood. "If I am your boss, can I tell you when you are off duty? Damn it. The last man who looked at me tried to kill me. If I can't trust you, what is the point? Damn you."

She sighed, "No, not you. My father, the system, the Crow, all of it. Look at me, Luke."

She commanded, and I obeyed.

I was trapped. I didn't know what crazy games she was playing, but I was so far out of my league that I couldn't find my centre and calm myself.

Sprite: Calm yourself. You are close to panic. Be calm.

Easy for you to say.

I had not moved from beside the bath.

She stood before me, with bubbles and flower petals the only thing between us.

I stammered, "I have to …."

Her finger shot out and pressed my lips, silencing them as she stepped forward.

She launched herself at me, her lips pressing against mine. I felt her against me.

Sprite: Luke, this is unprofessional. You should be ashamed of yourself. o not take advantage of her. It would be best if you had more control. I must protest. Luke Hammond, stop this at once...

I ignored Spite.