“Why a-” Placing a finger on her mouth, I take a long drink of this surgary piss. Maybe I should go to a city and buy myself some proper drink.
Ok now you can speak.
“Why am I alive?” She’s almost distraught that she’s alive, as if it were completely unnatural for her to be.
“Because I revived you” Once a day I canrevive a living being, had to burn a whole religion to stop them pursuing me for it.
“R-r-revive?”
“I’m hungry, you got any scraps?”
“Wait a second Mr Hero, you revived me? B-b-b-b-b-”
“Food you blubbering fool, and don’t be blubbering all over it either”
“R-R-R-right Mr Hero” Maybe I shouldn’t have revived her...but ale tastes best when served.
Within too many minutes she returns with a plate of literal scraps of food she could find from the blown up kitchen.
“Who are you?” She stays slightly away holding the tray of scraps from me.
“A hungry man, give me the scraps” a very hungry man
“No, tell me who you are, Mr Hero. Look at how many people are dead! I knew you were strong but this is…unbelievable.” The plate of food wobbles as she points out all the bisected corpses lying around. Woah there that’s food you’re going to drop.
“Just…put the food down and I’ll talk.” It’s been a couple of months since I’ve properly eaten I think, so I do need some food.
Squinting her eyes at me she slowly puts the tray down, still keeping it out of my reach however.
…..
….
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..
.
Dammit.
“Fine I’m the hero”
“…Who?” This is a village but have a little knowledge of world changing history!
Motioning her to pass me the tray, she pushes it an inch towards me.
Standing up with a sigh as heavy as the world itself, I walk to the board and shove all the scraps into my mouth. I am really not going to play your stupid little game Molly.
“So you’re a hero Mr Hero but how can you revive me. Are you a necromancer?” She looks down at her breasts in horror “Am I a zombie?”
“Eh”
“I’m not a zombie am I, you made me a zombie?! WHY AM I A ZOMBIE?” She starts crying on the floor, drama queen. All I did was shrug. “TELL ME”
Your crying’s making my ale sour…stop.
“You may be a zombie” It’s been a while since I’ve revived someone running on fumes without a magic circle or even an incantation. “But if you are, you’ll rot a lot slow-”
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” Ignoring her screams of despair, I finish off the cask and get up unsteadily. “Where are you going?”
“Eh” Somewhere with drink and some hot food, maybe Rintash if it hasn’t been destroyed by whatever the hell is going on.
With nothing but a comfortable set of boxers and a tankard, it’s off to Rintash. Though it might be a promising idea to get some clothes, or shoes really.
Having a quick loot of the village, I take Sherman’s boots giving him a second of silence. I may have seen millions die in my lifetime but it still sucks when you actually see someone you know dead.
Leaving the village behind, I turn around and cast a good inferno on it, burning everything to ash. Go and have fun with the Gods for a few millenia.
*Grumble* I am starving
Reaching the outskirts of the forest, I notice Tillia on the floor skull blown apart from a pretty hefty gun, through most of her cloak is intact..
…Ah screw it, it’s not every day you meet a half-elf with a nice body and face. Or a half-elf for that matter.
Casting full revive on her…damn was that really a good idea? That’s a month cooldown that I probably would’ve never used.
Slightly regretting my choice, I watch her skull regenerate, skin smearing the bones into a more human looking face, mature yet pointed with high raised cheekbones and a small mouth. And dimples, from one cheek to another across her small straight nose, going almost perfectly with her ocean blue eyes and black braided hair.
The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.
Smoothest skin I’ve touched for quite a few years too. Damn I miss the elves, suicidal morons leaving me all alone for eternity.
Her face fully reforms, eyes staring blankly into the sky, mouth slightly parted to reveal slightly yellowed teeth.
Casting clean on her teeth, there we go much whiter and brighter. Life may suck but doesn’t mean I can’t try have perfection when I get some random desire to be taken away from this immortal orgasm of boredom for half a second.
While playing with her teeth she takes a breath suddenly, ramming her face into mine and…she just broke her skull again.
Casting regenerate so she doesn’t die, I take a little bit of distance.
She takes another breath but doesn’t jolt up like before, much more aware of her surroundings, ocean eyes darting furtively before stopping at me.
Immediately rolling backwards to her feet, hunting knife out and a ferocious look in her eyes, she looks ready to pounce “Who are you?”
“Roy” I force a smile on myself. It’s been a while since I’ve used those muscles
…
..
.
She keeps her stance looking at me with a questioning curiosity “You look like shit” Coarse just like any half-elf. Why are they always coarse? “Thanks for reviving me” And blunt.
“I’m off to get a drink” Lifting up my tankard, I start into the forest.
“…I’ll join you” She probably looked at the burning inferno that used to be Larios. Ah much less annoying than Molly.
Stepping into the forest, I hit a wall, literally.
Not a physical one but as I press my hands against the air I can feel it and see the red outline of a no-go zone appearing on the edge of my hand.
Giving it a punch, nothing happens. Well that is certainly unusual…maybe it’s because I’m still weak from months of disuse.
“You noticed”
“A barrier, and not a normal one either”
“It appeared up when the attackers came” Immediately she looks around for enemy survivors. Well trained hunter if nothing else. That and a nice pair of breasts, solid seven out of ten which is saying something on my scale.
So anyway it’s got something to do with the blue screen. Just bloody perfect.
Time to see how locked into this place I am.
As I walk, hand gliding across the red wall which does give a slight tingling, Tillia stalks next to me, boots sliding across the grass with little sound. Hmm never actually talked to this one much, run of the mill hunter indeed but definitely has more than a few perks of her elven ancestry.
“Can you stop looking at my ears” Even has a sixth sense too, if I wasn’t basically a god she’d be a pretty useful party member. “Or my ass” Tight leather full body suit and you’re asking me not to look as it shifts up and down? It’s not like I’m aroused or anything, it’s just slightly less boring to look at them then the wide world of grass and trees. Plus after months of staring blankly into darkness it’s a different sight of many memories.
Turns out we’re stuck in a square about 2 kilometers across. That means we’ve got plains, plains and oh guess what, more flipping plains. And of course the burning wreck that used to be the town.
“So we’re stuck here, great” Saying what I’m thinking. Why haven’t I talked to this woman before? Would’ve made at least a few days less bloody boring.
“Until the other battles finish”
“You got that blue screen too?”
I nod. Hmm so I’m not special this time round that’s…annoying. I like being special if nothing else.
“You get the victory bit?”
“Yep, popped up when I revived amongst a couple of other things” Huh blue screens don’t seem that unique anymore. “So, we just wait until whatever the hell is going on finishes”
“Pretty much. Got any food?” I am starving, which is ironic because I can’t.
She gives me a once over before relinquishing some jerky from her satchel. Not all of it but then again she does actually need to eat.
While I devour the jerky, Tillia goes hunting for her bow. Oh yeah people had cellars, let’s go have a look.
Twelve cellars and oh it’s heaven.
Ignoring the fact that almost half of what I eat ends up having bullets in it, I’m feeling eh satisfied.
“Roy, Rooy where in Hallocks name did you go?” Tillia calls from above, probably having found her bow.
Popping out of a cellar munching on a freshly roasting rabbit haunch, she topples over backwards upon seeing me.
“w-W-w what in Hallocks name are you?!”
“The hero”
“…who?” Oh for fucks sake. “Fuck that question, why do you look less like a zombie and more like a doddering old man?”
“Food”
“Well fuck me” …Eh
“How long do you think we have?”
“Wow…ew. No…” she looks at me rather in disgust and a tinge of fear “But how did food make you look so much better, like even your skin isn’t clammy anymore” Somehow she regains her composure, if I didn’t know any better I’d think she’s a full elf with the plethora of racial perks she has. Eyesight being just one of them.
“Magic takes a toll on my body, but food restores it” Since mana is literally created through natural decomposition of my body and by the fact that I can control the decomposition process…I get old very fast, or really show my true age.
Elder problems.
Kaaran vs Earth Day 1 battles concluded
Kingdom of Arun vs Britain
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Rintash (Victor) vs Quorn (Loser)
Larios (Victor) vs Coombeinteignhead (Loser)
8 wins 48197 losses
Well Earth does have guns and as far as I’m not surprised they won so much. Though apart from me how did 7 other places survive? Ah what do I care.
For winning, the ruler of Larios chooses a prize.
1. Revive on all members
2. Open border agreement
3. Take control of Coombeinteignhead
Roy the Hero, Choose
It’s like an annoying game, just great. Just what I wanted to make me lull from my boredom…actually yeah this might be ever so slightly interesting. Especially with the third choice.
Maybe I can go home and see what’s changed. But to be honest I was already bored shitless of Earth when came here so why would it be any less boring going back? Maybe for a tv show…
Choosing the open border agreement because last thing I want is to take control of somewhere and actually participate in this game properly, the surroundings flash red with the barriers glowing and I instinctively know to choose one. Well the west one to Rintash obviously.
The west barrier dissolves in front of my eyes…maybe if I had more strength I could break the barriers myself? That’s a thought.
Starting towards Rintash with a stalking Tillie, another blue screen pops up.
You are ranked 30,422nd in this war
Well there isn’t much challenge or motivation to become first, but if I’m stuck playing The Games thing, might as well be the best at it.