*Wobowobowobowobowww* 

Without my consent, all food in my hand and vicinity disperses as I get teleported to a wheat field.

Day 2, Kingdom of Arun vs Britain

Larios vs Stokeinteignhead

Rintash vs Bunny

…

…

…

Dismissing the next blue screen since it’s only going to tell me how many enemies I have to kill which doesn’t matter at all, I have a think about what I am to do.

Turns out the time is exactly one second past midnight. Well that explains why the soldiers yesterday were wearing night-vision gear since it seems battles commence in the middle of the night.

Of course that poses zero problem to me since I won't have to worry about stalking around anyways.

Placing my palms to the sky, feeling the cool air currents, I let a pungent poison billow out of my pores and into the wind, snaking towards the village

…

..

.

Where are the wails of dying people? I made the poison obvious enough to have some sort of commotion.

*Bang*

“You betta start running or I’ll kill ya” A farmer with his double-barrelled shotgun hobbles up closer to me as I pick buckshot out of my chest.

Flinging one such cartridge at him, it goes cleanly through his eye and into his brain.

“PA” a scruffy young boy jumps up from his hiding place, running over to his dead farmer father. As he does, two others, slightly older and with more than a tinge of fear swimming in their eyes, rush to protect them from me.

Gravity well ,and they all go squish.

VICTORY!

Casualties:

Enemies: 4

Allies: 0

Please wait until other battles are finished

“You don’t piss about do you?” Thessa shakes her head at the pile of mush that used to be our enemies.

“Have you ever fought a demon?”

“They’re real?” She sounds almost surprised, well in all fairness demons haven’t existed for almost two millenium now.

“Extinct, but when they were around, a lot of trouble was caused. Mostly by their innate ability to possess other creatures. And I’ll give you one guess as to what was their favourite thing to possess”

“Children. Mom used to tell me if I did anything naughty it would give way for a demon to possess me”

“Oddly enough, demons can’t possess pure souled beings, although there was a certain lack of those back then. Children were especially easy to possess since they have a habit of mischief, in otehr words an impure soul.” Being a child back then was less than pleasant: if you were in a frontier town you’d be killed no questions asked if word spread of a demon nearby and any ‘evil’ thing they did anywhere in the kingdom was an immediate death sentence.

Didn't help in the long run, especially for the halflings.

"But these are just children" She obviously points out.

I simply nod.

Remorse for killing children, possessed or not, was long taken from me. And I remember every single kill…

“So…what do we do now? Since we’ve got essentially a day to ourselves”

“Get some cid-”

Midsentence I’m teleported back to Larios, the ashen plain where nothing resides.

Noted; if I want to eat and drink back on Earth, I need to keep someone alive.

The Village of Rintash is still fighting. Would you like to Assist?

 Since I’ve got literally nothing else to do…sure why not.

Teleporting once more, Thessa vomits on the new wheat field that we appear in. Same after effects as a normal teleportation spell, interesting.

I immediately notice the hundreds of hunters lying low in the field, quietly waiting for something in the pale moonlight.

Euron, noticing me, beckons me towards him. He never got to talk to me in the end since lunch lasted until now.

Crouching by him, he nods his head towards the village and I notice the dozen people scouting the perimeters.

Fourty seven building, one hundred and six guns visible from here. Mostly shotguns, although a few hunting rifles and pistols mixed in.

Why did Coombeinteignhead have proper soldiers and a tank?

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

I need information.

“I can help you take out this village without losing a single member. But you have to give me leadership of Rintash” Technically supposed to be helping them for free due to Goldensprout but I'm curious about how the ruler rule works.

Gagging back his laughter and surprise, Euron clears his throat eventually. “Why in Hallock’s name would I ever give you leadership of Rintash?”

Worth a try.

Casting Charm on him, he immediately agrees to give me leadership but no blue window telling me I’ve received leadership of Rintash…guess it’s not that easy then.

Once again placing my palms into the wind, this time I conjure up Sleep Dust and let it travel to the village. This way if I let a few live, some information can be gained and I can raid their cupboards for food and drink.

“Alright everyone, go into the village, kill someone and tie another one up. Bring the live ones here” Everyone looks at me as if I’m a simpleton by standing up and speaking so loudly in enemy territory. “Now” casting Command, they get moving swiftly, feet before brain for most of them.

Within ten minutes, over one hundred humans are lying at my feet, unbound and sleeping.

Picking ten random individuals, all adults because kids know shit, I order for the rest to be killed.

Mercilessly, arrows pepper the sleeping pile until the sounds of breath emanate from it no longer.

Didn’t even have to use Command for that, a rather cold people but I like that in an army. Do first, question after.

Having everyone raid the houses for food and drink, I wake up my first prisoner with a light tap on the head: he’s a thirty something man with greasy oil blackening his otherwise pale fingers.

“You’re going to answer all my questions and if you don’t I’ll-”

“-I SURRENDER!” Screaming it the moment he fully comes to, a bright light shines down on him, disappearing almost as instantaneously as it came, along with him.

O…k? So there’s a surrendering system in play.

Waking up my next victim, a portly looking man, the butcher I’d assume with his bloody apron.

Clamping my hand over his mouth, I watch him struggle to waking, words muffling in my palm.

He too gets vaccumed away by the bright light. So no actual words required, simply a desire to surrender then?

My third victim, an older woman, smelling of the butcher, probably his wife, gets the idea to surrender willed in her mind  by me and she too disappears in bright light. Without even waking up. So if they want to surrender the system(?) will teleport them to safety(?).

Before choosing my fourth prisoner, I have a peek at the pincushioned corpses, and sure enough within one of the survivors is a mother of now two dead little girls by the facial resemblances.

Taking her a distance, away from everyone. I plant the crying faces of her two little girls into her mind.

*Grumble* Overusing it again. I hope there’s a lot to eat here.

“Your two little girls” I catch her immediate attention as she opens her eyes “Will be killed if you surrender. If you answer my questions, I will allow them and you to surrender, I’m not trying to kill people, just learn what’s going on, understand?”

“Y-y-y-yyyes” She gulps loudly though rather bravely given the circumstance.

Casting Calm on her so she stops shaking like a leaf and tearing up, there we go now I’ll be able to get some information out. Without unnecessary drama.

“How long has Earth been in these ‘Games’”

“three days now?” She seems unsure but it’s probably the fact that so much has happened for her three days seems unrealistic.

“And why did you have barely any weapons when other villages had soldiers and tanks?”

“I don’t know. We got a blue screen telling us we had one day to prepare for the upcoming war against the Kingdom of Arun” I assume the same screen popped up on my side too. I must’ve been too deep within myself to have noticed dismissing it.

So must I assume that in just one day they got a contingent of soldiers and a tank? Seems rather impossible.

“What is happening in the south of Britain, around Exeter?”

“War with America, they blew up Falmouth last I heard” UK and USA are in a war? Well that’s certainly unexpected. Although it has been a while since I’ve been here.

Ok so soldiers were down in Coombeinteignhead as part of a war and they just got sucked into another one. Well I won’t be surprised if I have to kill some Americans soon.

“Final question” Since Earth seems to be new in all this too so they and definitely not some random woman in a village will have much idea about what is going on. “What year is it”

“twothousand and twenty one”

Well ain’t that a bitch. Been away for almost three thousand years and barely five pass here…

 I wonder if I can find my parents, that’d be…almost fun? Maybe. I’m not sure how it would be to talk to my abusive father and bitch of a mother after three thousand years…

Killing the woman, I don’t bother interrogating the rest and head straight into the village. To the pub!

A Wetherspoons, now I’m hungry for a burrito and some loaded chips. Total recall will probably make it taste like shit though…

Jumping behind the bar, there’s a beat in my heart as this may be the first time…the first time in thousands of years that I get to have gin. GIN!

I’ve spent literally thousands of years trying out all kinds of moonshine, alchemy brew and ales to find something that resembled the dry, acidy taste of gin from Earth. I might actually be excited.

“Are you alright? You’ve been staring at all those strange containers of water for a while now”

“Water, hah you have no idea” Grabbing a bottle of Bombay, some Grenadine, sprite and an orange. Yum this is fucking good.

The alcohol industry didn’t truly kick off in Kaaran, especially as the most famous brewers of them all, the elves, buggered off to the beyond. It’s preposterous I’m actually getting excited over something.

Passing the first quad shot cocktail of drunken demise to Terra, who sniffs at it cautiously and then takes an even more cautious gulp, I quickly make my own and begin drinking.

Just as I raise the glass to my lips, the tangy scent wafting into my nostrils, I get teleported.

The glass and all my drink disappeared, all of it. Every. Last. Drop. Well that answers the question of whether I can bring things back with me…god FUCKING DAMMIT.

Ignoring the blue screen, I stop myself from stomping over to Euron and slaughtering him because pointless killing is just that. And life is no fun if you can just kill everyone and have everything work out for you just as you like it. That lifestyle got boring pretty fucking quickly.

 My Charm spell must’ve worn off though, ugh I hate how I added a random generation to all my spells. Bad decision of the three hundred year old me.

*Gulp*

“Damn, whoo what was that aggh?” Thessa opens her mouth widely to fan the burning sensation that’s probably snaking its way down her throat right now.

“Something that might actually be worth my time” Maybe I could spend a week or two learning all the bartending skills before it got boring, maybe.

For now however, let’s get some more food in this starving self, reckless as ever, using up more than I ate.

…

Kaaran vs Earth Day 2 battles concluded

Kingdom of Arun vs Britain

Yedgar (Victor) vs Nottingham (Loser)

Collll (Loser) vs Amberley (Victor)

Dernam (Loser) vs Falmouth (Victor)

Cailash (Victor) vs Ashford (Loser)

Fordir (Victor) vs Chippenham (Loser)

Raravale (Victor) vs East Farleigh (Loser)

Rintash (Victor) vs Bunny (Loser)

Larios (Victor) vs Stokeinteignhead (Loser)

6 wins 2 losses

So what does the rest of Britain do? Freetime?

For winning, the ruler of Larios chooses a prize.

1. Revive on all members

2. a pair of animals from Stokeinteignhead’s local area

3. A wheat field

Roy the Hero, Choose

For winning, the ruler of Rintash chooses a prize.

Euron Contraid, Choose

Exactly zero point zero four two seconds passed until I’m* nose to nose with Euron.

“I am the ruler am I not?” Interesing as I can see the ruler but not the prizes.

He simply squints his eyes annoyingly at me, but since none of his people died and I did help…he ignores me, rather garnering his attention to the blue screen.

 At least he’s not a little bitch giving me command when I ask him…good. Favour over, no more help to Rintash anymore. Now to get myself a pair of animals.

*Ding*

Just as I step outside the air beneath me shimmers intensely.

Materialising around the black oak tree on the forest floor is the large white sign signifying the many alcohol moments of my early life:

Wetherspoons