Bob stood up and looked around again.
How was he going to cross the desert this time?
"HEY! BOREDOM! GET YOUR HOLY ASS OVER HERE!"
Nothing happened.
Bob tried again.
"BOREDOM! GET OVER HERE!"
Once again, nothing happened. Frankly, I'm suprised that Bob didn't get vaporized, even if he was Boredom's champion.
Bob sighed. It looked like asking nicely was out of the question.
"BOREDOM! GET OVER HERE OR..."
Bob frowned. Get over here or what?
He decided to go with the most cruel and cold-hearted thing known to humanity.
"BOREDOM! GET OVER HERE... OR ELSE!"
Once again, nothing happened. Boredom was probably taking a nap.
"HEY, LUCK! GET OVER HERE... OR ELSE!"
The sky grumbled.
"What is it, puny mortal?"
"Oh, hi, Luck, I don't give a f*ck, I wanna see Boredom."
"What for?"
"...I need to cross the desert again to get to the Mage Academy."
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"I repeat, what for?"
"Look, if you cant get Boredom over, just teleport me there yourself."
"I am a major god! I will not be treated with such blasphemy!"
"Yeah, yeah, the god of luck and all that crap, I'm more important than you are."
"No, you aren't, filthy mortal! At least, not yet, anyway. You'll only be important for a moment when you chose between absolute power and the peace of the world, then you won't be as important as I am anymore."
"...But what if I chose absolute power?"
The God of Luck snorted.
"Then everybody you know and care about will perish."
"Like who?"
"...David?"
"That dude who ripped me off?"
"Good point. Quincey?"
"The dude who I barely know?"
"How about Shen Qi?"
"...I barely know him, have to teach him some secret technique that I don't know, and hate him for beating me up for no reason."
"...How about your master?"
"Who? That dude called Arthur? I know that he thought that my lighter was some kind of super powerful fire power that I have control over, and he would probably just take it and leave if he found out that I wasn't talented and all that crap. I was planning on taking the tourney prize and leaving."
"That's...A fair point. Nobody that you care about?"
"I do know some guys back on Earth, but I doubt anything would happen to them if I get all-powerful and do whatever to Eman Tenalp."
"But then why do you want to get to Mage Academy?"
"To steal from them, what else? If I die, I'll just respawn here."
"...Your debt?"
"Would I still have to pay it if I was some super-powerful god of something chaotic and I didn't work under Boredom?"
"But why?"
"Why not? I just kept getting concussions whenever I respawned, I can think clearly now."
"Becoming a chaotic god will destroy Eman Tenalp."
"I figured as much."
"...And you don't care?"
"Why would I?"
"You would be guilty of destroying an entire planet for power."
"To whom? Frankly, I'm suprised that nobody ever thought of this before."
"Gods swear an oath to protect the planet when they become gods."
"What? Loyalty to their planet and all that crap? To who do they swear an oath to? Aren't you forgetting that I don't originate from this planet and that I don't really care what happens to it?"
"You would destroy all pizza on this planet. There are more italians here than there are on Earth, and the pizza here is better."
Dang it! He would suffer from the wrath of the italians if he destroyed the planet!
Bob sighed.
"Okay, fine, just teleport me to the Mage Acadamy."