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Bob's Ascension to Godhood
010: The Oasis of Illusions

010: The Oasis of Illusions

"GAAAH!"

Everyone looked away as Bob crashed his sand skimmer once again.

Bob had been practicing driving the sand skimmer, as advised by Marek, the city lord, and now he could finally see why. You would think that driving a sand skimmer would be much easier than driving a car, which Bob failed at, but although it is, Bob somehow still kept crashing it.

> [ Congratulations! ]

>

> [ You have earned the achievement [ Noob driver ] by crashing a vehicle 100 times! ]

>

> [ I recommend that you stop driving up [ 45°] slope(s) and instead focus on driving on [ Flat road, reserved for noobs ] ! ]

>

> [ You can access your [ Minimap ] to see the [ red ] line that symbolizes [ Flat road, reserved for noobs ] ! ]

"Seriously?"

"Ah, well, I guess I'll just have to take lessons on how to drive this thing later..."

"Maybe there's a skill book on that."

Bob commenced with crashing all over the drove off on the [ Flat road, reserved for noobs ].

* * *

After a few hours of crashing all over the poor road leisurely driving, Bob finally saw what appeared to be a tourist trap in the middle of the desert.

Ah, that must be the famed Mirage Oasis.

It is said to contain geysers, hot springs, and in the middle of all that, the God of Mirages frequently appeared to harrass the people who were in the middle of enjoying the hot springs.

Bob, however, wanted to get a grasp on the way magic worked in this new world, so he would gladly welcome the God of Illusions showing up.

If he didn't show up, however, who was he to refuse the famed shot springs, sandy beach, and magical coconut tunococ trees that bore magical coconuts tunococs that are said to contain coconut milk that can extend one's lifespan?

Bob, having actually thought this one through, happily soaked in the hot spring while sipping coconut milk, only to be interupted by, you guessed it, The God of Ilusions.

* * *

"Who Dares to intrude on my oasis?"

"Oh, wow, you're much louder than the God of Luck."

"My name is Bob Something."

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"Ah. Tell me your purpose for visiting, chosen warrior of Boredom."

Bob frowned.

The chosen warrior of Boredom?

Looks like the God of Luck was lying about the God of Boredom just being interested in him and amused by his antics.

Should've known.

The God of Luck was probably just jealous, as the "chosen warrior" of a major god had a status that outranked that of a minor god.

"Could you tell me about the way this world works?"

"Like, cultivation, or levels or something; How could I get more powerful?"

"I Will leave that to the God of Rants, also known as Cornelius, ascended under the Goddess of Knowledge a few years ago, instead, as if I ranted, your eardrums would break and the poor readers would have to scroll through this."

A god who looked to be a wise old man leaning on a walking stick, the image that you would think of to go with the name 'Cornelius', descended from the heavens.

"What did you call me here for, God of Illusions?

"No need for formalities. Your master and I are old friends. I called you here to explain how this world works to Boredom's chosen one."

"Alright, so you must be the famed Bob Something?"

"Yes, though I didn't know I was very fam-"

The god of rants squinted at him.

"You really aren't the sharpest tool in the shed, now are you?"

"Got ripped off on the first day, 30-70 ratio, really? What were you thinking? Lots of people in the city, namely the ones with good trading skills, would've jumped at the chance to do a 5-95 split."

"Really? But David would never-"

"That's what you think! He just makes you think that. Easy enough with a nitwit like you!"

"All right, just get on with how magic works and how I can turn into a god and all that crap."

"Fine, filthy mortal!"

"But I was told that you just ascended a few years ago, so technically you're not much more than mortal either."

"You were told!"

"By the god of-"

"I know, I know! Let's just get to the point."

"So how do I-"

"Cultivation and Levels are two different aspects of the same thing, with qi being mana and stages being levels. The chinese on your planet, Earth, figured out cultivation, while the americans levels from a video game.

The chinese believed that exp and mana were the same thing, qi, generated by magic, and they were right. Levels, however, are also accurate. The excess magic is condensed into exp and magic coins, or qi as called by the chinese. Once you gather enough of it, you can ascend from the mortal realm and become a god.

To answer your question, all you need to do is continuously absorb different forms of energy to become a god. You don't need to focus on cultivation or levels, since they're basically units of measurement, akin to centimeters and inches. For example, if you absorb luck, you will become someone like the god of luck. If you absorb knowledge, you'll be like me, etc. We recommend you absorb coins, since-"

"Wait, I CAN ABSORB COINS?!"

"A certain amount, you can use them to power magical items, why do you think you can't?"

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?!"

The God of Rants looked like he was going to start another rant.

"Okay, bye, I'll just go and become more powerful now."

And so Bob set out on his quest to become a god.