Author's note: BIG NEWS!

First of all my novel has now crossed 100 pages! Yay! :P

The bigger news however is related to the weekly top 50! I was looking through it expecting my novel to be somewhere in the hundreds, but to my surprise I found my novel at number 27! That was seriously a shock to me! I can't thank you guys enough! Only thing left is for me to get a good advanced review and then I can die happy... :P

I now feel bad releasing this chapter, that has no action at all. Only some character development... But this chapter had to be done! I don't have time during weekdays to release multiple chapters, so even though I am seriously excited and thankful to you all I can't write any more today. That being said, I will make sure to write as many chapters as possible during this weekend!

Once again, thank you all so much for all the support! :) Hope you guys like this chapter...

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It didn’t take long for me to stop crying. I cried for less then two minutes, but even that was something of an eternity for someone who hasn’t shed a single tear for a dozen years. I was still holding onto Carmen’s dead body, and a lot of ‘what if’ scenarios were running through my mind. I shook my head to get rid of such useless thoughts, what’s done is done. It’s time to move on.

I flew for a while longer until I found a nice, clean patch of Earth. I dug a grave for Carmen in a few seconds using Earth manipulation and lowered her gently through telekinesis. I then covered her up gently and flew away.

My mind was in turmoil. I had been responsible for killing another person, and not just a single person but about the 30 or so people in the ballroom all died because of me. Probably there were other survivors in the city who died as a result of my actions too. My mind, however, wasn’t in turmoil because of how all this was affecting me, but because of how little all this was affecting me!

I was completely fine now. I had shed a few tears and buried Carmen properly. It was all done. My brain was telling me that it doesn’t matter whether these people were killed because of me or not, what matters is that I was still alive and well. And that was the entire problem.

I had long ago realized that I wasn’t normal when it came to caring about other’s lives. I had been around 8 years old when I came across a stray cat that had presumably been run over by someone’s car. The cat had still been alive when I came across it, and it was twitching and struggling to breathe. Instead of doing the normal thing of trying to help it, or doing the kind thing of killing it quickly and ending its misery, I simply stood there and watched. Why? Because it was interesting. It was the first time for the 8-year old me to see something die, and I was interested to see how everything would go.

So, I sat down on the curb and watched the cat struggle. It kept on twitching and breathing haggardly for a good 5 minutes before it finally succumbed to its injuries and died. Seeing as how the show was over, I stood up and started to leave but a sound from behind me made me stop and look back.

Someone else had been driving on the deserted road, and had stopped their car when they saw the dead body of the cat. I saw as a woman got out of the car and looked sadly at the cat. She then called someone on the phone, waited beside the dead cat and directed any other cars to go around it and stayed there till some men in uniforms, probably animal services, came and picked up the dead body of the cat.

It was surprising to me to see someone go to such lengths for a dead animal, so I went home and asked my parents and siblings what they would have done in that situation. They all said they would have taken the cat to a vet and tried to save it. It was then I had realized I didn’t think of other’s lives like everyone else, and it was also the time when I started to learn how to act on how to appear ‘normal’ in front of others.

A few years later, when I was around 11-12, I had made myself a few principles that I absolutely had to follow. I had found out that people like me who didn’t feel many emotions usually ended up as criminals or serial killers, so I had made a few rules for myself which included me never hurting animals or the weaker kids and always helping out when someone else was in trouble. It was all done in an effort to stop me from going down the wrong path...

Over the years I had stopped caring about helping someone else when I saw them in trouble, as I found out there was always someone other then me who would arrive and start to help the person in trouble. Why bother myself when someone else can help too? However, I had never broken my principle of never hurting the weak unnecessarily. And now, here I was today having killed a lot of people…

Sure, it was done unintentionally and I never meant for anyone to get hurt. But still, anyone else in my position would have felt terrible if so many people died because of their actions; however, I was totally indifferent. I was feeling no remorse or regrets at all, and honestly, it was worrying me.

The only thing I had ever been scared of in my entire life was me turning into a murderer and not caring about it. Deep down, I had always known that I would be able to kill someone else if I wanted to, but I never thought it would actually happen! Now, my worst fear had become a reality: I had killed someone, albeit unintentionally, and after feeling bad for a couple of minutes I no longer cared at all over what I had done!

Thoughts about how this is actually a good thing and it will help me in the future to survive were running through my mind, but I ignored it all. It was just too much to think about. Should I simply accept the fact that people died because of my actions and move on, or should I take some steps to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again?

I shook my head once again and then started flying at top speed. I had been travelling towards the direction of the city with my apartment, and I continued onward at full speed ignoring everything else. Soon enough I arrived in the city with the sun already set and the moon out, I reached my apartment, flew in through the window and immediately laid down on my bed.

I was just too tired, both physically and mentally, and there was nothing else I wanted more then to sleep right now. So, without checking my surroundings for anything dangerous, I simply fell asleep…

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

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I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and with my mind no longer in turmoil. That was the best thing about sleep for me, no matter what I would always wake up with a clear head. Even with all that had happened the day before, sleep still did its job of making my mind clear.

I smiled thinking about how thankful I am for sleep… before jumping out of bed with a frown on my face. I couldn’t believe how stupid I had been last night! I had firsthand seen the dangers that could spring up at any moment, and yet I had gone to sleep without checking anything! All because I had too many thoughts running through my mind?? Fucking stupid Ben!!

I immediately checked my apartment and found out I no longer had a door. It had been smashed apart by something. The halls outside were covered by blood, corpses, limbs and guts. I could even see the head of Stella lying on top of someone else’s body. Great. Something was definitely out there and I had been soundly asleep without even a fucking front door!

It was a miracle I had not been killed off in my sleep! Hmmm… Or was it because of my increased luck ability…? Did my increased luck help me out by not allowing anything to come near me…?

Whatever, the point is that I survived. I’ll never let something as stupid as feelings get in the way of my sanity ever again!

I sighed, created a new door out of Earth and blew some air to get the stench of death out. I hadn’t even smelled such a strong stench last night! Just how crazy does a person get because of feelings?? Is this why most women always act so crazy??

I sighed yet again before my stomach grumbled. I remembered I hadn’t eaten anything at all since yesterday morning when I had my breakfast. Then I looked at my clothes and saw them all ripped apart, almost falling to pieces. I had allowed a lot of Earth, water and air attacks to hit me last night, and while my steel-skin ability allowed my body to stay safe, my clothes were in absolute shatters.

I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower as I had decided to get clean first before eating something.. I turned the shower on and nothing came out. Wow, I am getting seriously stupid, there has been no running water since the monsters arrived after all! Why did I even bother to turn on the shower?? Wasn’t my mind supposed to be clear after my long night’s sleep?

I slapped myself and shook my head yet again, before I got a glance at myself in the mirror. My facial hair had grown to a point where it could be called a full-fledged beard, though it was anything but nice to look at. All sorts of stuff were sticking out of there and it was completely unruly.

I think it’s time to shave. Better yet, I think it’s time to change everything up a bit. A fresh start might help me get out of this messed up mindset….

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30 minutes later I was staring at myself in the mirror again, though this time things were a bit different. I had completely shaved off my beard and trimmed my hair a bit using scissors. I had always had a double chin but now that I was clean shaved again I was pleased to see that I no longer had a double chin. I had also grown muscles, and my previous belly-fat was now replaced by rippling abs. Surprising, considering I had not absorbed any ability that should affect my appearance… I could only put it to my super-strength ability…

My eyes were the biggest change though. They had been dark brown before and had to be looked at closely to realize that they were not black but dark brown in colour. Now they were a different colour… a sort of dark reddish-brown. I only noticed it when I got my face up close to the mirror when I was shaving. They still looked dark brown or black from far away, but if looked at closely they now had a sort of reddish tint to them.

At first I was alarmed, thinking that it could be some sort of disease or infection, but I then calmed down after I tried healing them and didn’t get any result. Thinking about the changed colour a bit, I came to the conclusion that perhaps all the blood I had been drinking was somehow affecting my eye colour. If they turned completely red in the future I really would look like a vampire or a demon!

Just to be sure, I checked my teeth and examined them carefully. To my relief, I didn’t see any fangs growing… I put the idea of me possibly looking like a vampire to the back of my mind for now...

I had taken a shower using water manipulation and dried myself off with air manipulation. I found three bags of crisps in my cabinet and munched all of them down and I had also found new clothes to wear. My backpack had been left in the ballroom and was now probably underground, so I would have to find a new bag to carry necessities with me.

I looked out of the window and took a deep breathe. I really was feeling a lot better mentally after my shower. I guess getting clean really does help in clearing out the mess in your mind…

I jumped off the window and soared into the city, my aim was to get a backpack, some more syringes, some non-perishable food etc etc…

I soared off into the sky and the first thing I saw from that height was a tiger prowling around the streets. It looked quite similar to the tiger that had been the attraction of the local zoo. The only glaring difference was its size…

The tiger was now 5 stories high and more then twice as long!

I groaned.

Of all the things to get super-sized, it just had to be a fucking tiger!

.......

Hmmm… I wonder what ability I will get from that guy...