image [https://i.imgur.com/xcQhW8Y.jpg]
With a wicked grin plastered across my face, I chose not to turn my encounter with the chimera into an epic battle of valor and heroism. Nah, that shit was way too predictable. Instead, I reveled in the twisted joy of my brilliant plan. Empowering my inner banshee, I let out a war cry that probably sounded more like a back-alley crackhead as I activated Burst with a system command.
The skill propelled me forward with the speed of a damn rocket. Zooming toward the chimera like a bat out of hell, I missed its ugly mug and slipped right under it—just as planned.
In a burst of sadistic glee, I rallied all my strength and delivered a sucker punch straight from the darkest corners of my soul. Like a bullet train on an adrenaline rush, my fist slammed into the chimera’s most vulnerable spot. The impact was an explosive mix of pain and disgrace, a combo that had the beast rethinking its undead lifestyle choices. Something definitely exploded—couldn’t tell if it was my arm or its precious family jewels, but honestly, at that moment, who cares?
A cacophony of shrieks and roars tore from the chimera’s throat, a sweet symphony of agony that sparked a surge of wicked delight in me. Its mighty hind legs crumbled under the intense pain, collapsing like a house of cards. As I soaked in my victory, my forward momentum abruptly stopped, leaving me dangerously exposed under the flailing beast.
Without warning, the chimera’s cobra-like tail coiled and struck in a swift act of revenge. I let out a squeak that surprised even me as I narrowly dodged the initial lash—thanks purely to instinct and a hefty dose of dumb luck. Yeah, let’s chalk that up more to luck, because I seriously doubted I could pull off that trick again.
My relief was short-lived as I realized Burst wasn’t reactivating. The skill was on cooldown, and I immediately cursed my skill descriptions for omitting that crucial detail—could the system not have included some sort of indicator, like, I don’t know, anything helpful? Without Burst, I was a sitting duck under the chimera’s looming shadow, too slow to escape, and completely vulnerable to the wrath of its venomous tail. Utterly screwed, that’s what I was—wait, bad analogy considering how dangerously close the beast’s junk was to my face.
The snake-like tail coiled back, preparing for another strike, while the chimera’s lion head emitted a pitiful screech akin to a wounded feline. The pain from my well-placed punch to its most sensitive region was clearly taking its toll. As if to add insult to injury, a yellow cloud of acidic fumes wheezed out from its maw. But none of that deterred me. With Burst failing to respond, I quickly unleashed a different system command, invoking the power of Necrotic Flame.
A rush of green flames licked with purple tips erupted in all directions, the fire’s eerie glow casting an otherworldly light. Yet, the cobra’s head—tail—tail-head? Whatever!
It remained undeterred as it collided with me, its fangs sinking deep into my side. Surprisingly, I felt more shock than pain as the chimera’s bite pumped its toxic venom into my dark and cruel body during those fleeting seconds it had latched on.
V:\Ascension>SAFE_MODE
Poison Status Detected [PSD]
Resist Status: Full Immunity [Active]
Applying Resistances…
Resistance Successful
Poison Effects Nullified
_
Acid Status Detected [PSD]
Resist Status: Full Immunity [Active]
Applying Resistances…
Resistance Successful
Acid Effects Nullified
V:\>
Huh, looks like my dungeon boss notifications are still kickin’. But how long before they ghost me like a bad Tinder date without the core?
Wait—does that mean—no notifications outside of a dungeon?
Eek—
Above me, the chimera loomed, its lion’s head snarling—a real spit-flying, teeth-gnashing temper tantrum. Its roars echoed painfully. Without missing a beat, I zeroed in on its most embarrassingly vulnerable spots nestled between its quivering hind legs. But as my fist shot forward, I came face-to-face with the harsh truth of my previous punch. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t only the chimera’s balls that got pulverized.
—Yikes, where’s my right arm?
Time to skedaddle. Burst! Burst?! Oh, come on!
As if that wasn’t bad enough, here comes Mr. Cobra Head, ready for another round—fangs bared, dripping with who-knows-what (yes, I know it’s venom), and that stinking yellow acid cloud wafting around us like the world’s worst perfume.
Great, just what I needed.
Yup, totally screwed.
In sheer panic, I continued screaming Burst inside my head while gazing skyward. Miraculously, it finally kicked in at last, shooting me straight through the undead beast’s ribcage. The force was so intense that I ended up kissing the chimera’s spine with a splattering face-plant.
Well, hello there! Didn’t expect to be inside you on our first date. Wait, does that make me a slut?
—Yes!
As it turns out, Burst moves me in the direction I’m looking—up included!
Even as I crashed the chimera’s rib party, the cobra head didn’t let up, snapping at me like I was the last slice of pizza at a buffet. I dodged, barely keeping ahead of its Bitey McMurder Face. While chaos reigned, I cobbled together a plan from the mayhem. Time to use that repeat glitch to my advantage—because if something works, you bet I’m gonna ride that train till it crashes!
I really hope this doesn’t come back to blow up in my face. Literally.
“Well, here goes nothing,” I muttered, rolling my eyes skyward—or at the cavern ceiling, I mean. Spine! Semantics, am I right? Popping my best puppy-dog eyes, which probably looked more like deranged cartoon eyes, I shouted, “Hey up there, you big cu—I mean, Big Boss Lady! Sorry about the whole ‘bitch, cunt, and whatnot’ stuff. My bad! But seriously, a girl could use some more active skills down here. Throw me another bone, will ya? It’ll make whatever twisted plot—or is it a game?—you’re playing at way more fun. Promise,” I rambled on, grinning like a lunatic—which, let’s be honest, isn’t far off my baseline.
Anything?
…
V:\Ascension>SAFE_MODE
AdminSystemOverride
Admin:\Magic>Login_
System Access Granted [SAG]
USER_Skills_Override.
Reconfiguring...
1 Skill Point Unlocked.
11 out of 12 Skills Activated.
Data Accepted.
Selecting Skill...
[Paralysis] has been selected as an active skill.
12 out of 12 Skills Activated.
V:\>
“Sweet!” I clapped, perhaps a bit too eagerly, as a notification popped up, only to quickly frown as I read the entire message, my shoulders slumping with annoyance. “You could have at least let me pick which skill I wanted,” I grumbled.
With a shrug and an evil grin spreading across my face, I eagerly began my assault from within the chimera’s body. As a Black Pudding, I was a shapeless monstrosity that only resembled a woman by choice—and even then, not quite human-looking. Yet! Regardless, my position inside the creature granted me a unique advantage, which I exploited with swift efficiency.
Raising my arms—or rather, one arm and a stump—I unleashed thick, inky tendrils that shot forth with malevolent intent. They slithered and intertwined, entangling themselves within the chimera’s guts and intestines, twisting, pulling, and tearing at whatever I could grab, without any semblance of precision.
To my delight, the monstrous chimera froze in place, its mighty muscles seizing up under the effect of Paralysis. Of course, I’m not about to give that bitchy admin cunt any credit for the help—what, did you think I was done calling her names? With my sadistic grin intact, I continued tearing at its organs until I spotted its heart.
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
“Always wondered what a heart looked like up close. Pity it’s not beating for me, though. Story of my life, huh?” I chuckled before lunging forward. I plunged my tentacles deep into the heart, ripping and pulling at it with utter glee.
My strategy was straightforward yet daring: to exhaust the chimera’s endurance and probe its susceptibilities to my acidic touch and toxins. The allure of challenging the creature’s limits and uncovering its frailties was too tantalizing to resist. However, my plan hit a snag as the Paralysis began to dissipate prematurely—it seemed it wasn’t a constant thing—allowing the chimera to slowly regain mobility. It roared in anger and defiance, the sound reverberating menacingly through the stadium.
Adding to my frustration, the undead monstrosity stubbornly refused to succumb, even after I had savagely removed its heart and most of its organs—which, might I add, tasted delicious! Amidst the chaos, a subtle sizzling sound reached my ears—a small victory, indicating that my dark pudding skin was indeed corroding the beast’s flesh from within. However, it soon dawned on me that while the chimera wasn’t entirely impervious to my acid and venom (or is it poison if I’m not biting, but merely touching? Hmm...), it exhibited significant resistance, possibly due to its innate endurance or its own toxic nature.
This realization forced me to confront a daunting truth: my primary passive skills, coupled with Paralysis, were insufficient to vanquish this formidable adversary. The chimera’s stubborn resistance necessitated a new approach, a deeper understanding of its vulnerabilities, and perhaps a more creative use of my abilities. So, yeah, I started muttering a few insults toward that useless admin as I moved. This fight was shaping up to be far more complicated than I had anticipated, requiring ingenuity and adaptability to overcome—all of which meant, I had none.
As the last remnants of my newly acquired Paralysis passive dissipated, I couldn’t help but feel a tinge of frustration at Magic for wasting a skill slot on something that didn’t quite deliver. Nevertheless, there was no time to dwell on that now.
The cobra’s tail, like a relentless whip, resumed its vicious assault, striking into its own chest cavity in a futile attempt to reach me. It narrowly missed its mark as I continued my relentless onslaught, tearing out anything that looked remotely important. However, I’d like to point out that once something was removed, whether a lung or intestines, I found I was able to quickly dissolve it, savoring that morsel with brief glee before having to dodge another snake bite.
I found myself in a precarious yet oddly safe position within the monster’s body, complete with free food. Yet, I was only inflicting slow damage on my opponent. The chimera’s acidic and venomous attacks had proven ineffective against me. However, I wasn’t eager to jump out and face its physical blows again, especially since I still felt pain—albeit not as intense as one might expect. Nonetheless, avoiding getting knocked around was preferable. My sole focus was on bringing this undead bastard to its final demise through a battle of attrition, slowly peeling and corroding it bit by bit—this was shaping up to take forever!
That being said, I had literally ripped out its heart and organs. One would think the damn thing would just keel over and call it a day. But no, it stubbornly clung to life—or unlife? Whatever! It defied my efforts regardless. Frustrated and running out of options, I called forth Blight. As I unleashed this dark and cruel power, a remarkable change occurred within the chimera’s insides. Pus-filled sores and lesions erupted throughout its twisted form, while a sinister mist oozed out of me, enveloping the creature in a haze of diseases that would make the Black Plague look like a mild flu.
However, even that powerhouse of a skill was utterly ineffective against the undead, merely adding a cosmetic flair to its already rotten flesh.
There I was, my lethal arsenal proving as effective as pissing into the wind. My Corrosive and Venomous touch was about as irritating as a mere tickle to this beast, and it treated my Paralysis like a lullaby that even a screaming toddler wouldn’t heed. Could this oversized furball even perceive the infused terror I was supposed to instill with my skills? Yet, I felt strangely invigorated—was it Life Drain’s doing, or just my undying sadistic glee relishing the chaos?
Alas, everything I threw at it wasn’t enough. It seemed I was less hurting the chimera and more just annoying it as it continued its relentless but futile attempts to attack me. The snake tail thrashed into its own body, unable to reach me, while the lion head shamelessly licked the jewels that I had struck with my powerful Burst-infused attack—though, I’m pretty sure it had done more damage to me than to him.
Thank God I can regrow my limbs—or is it the admin I should be thanking? Wait, isn’t that basically God in this messed-up reality? Pfft, as if! Screw that bitch!
“It’s a lich!” I heard Redtail’s voice yell out in exasperation. “Look for its phylactery!”
While I couldn’t physically see Redtail, his words resonated with me. “Oh, look who decided to be useful!” I muttered, though it wasn’t like he could hear me.
I wasn’t the biggest fantasy nerd, but I knew about liches and their phylacteries. I just needed to think of where this one could be hiding. My eyes widened as I remembered hitting something solid with my face—wait, there had been a pair of them.
One for the lion and one for the snake, maybe?
With an exasperated sigh and a sarcastic chuckle, I turned and crawled back through the chimera’s ribcage, making my way down its spine. I pressed on, navigating past the rotting remnants of its stomach and intestines, narrowly evading strikes from its thrashing cobra tail. The interior of the monster was a gruesome sight—a grotesque display of decaying blood and torn guts. A pang of frustration and hunger hit me. All I wanted was a moment to savor a meal, but now there was no time for that.
As I inched closer to where I figured that phylactery—possibly phylacteries—might be hiding, the chimera threw a fit that would shame the wildest rodeo star. It bucked and twisted, thrashing about as if it were a demon being exorcised from a possessed child, desperately trying to toss me out. But nope, I wasn’t having any of that—I clung to its gnarly insides as if my life depended on it. Because, well, it sort of did. With every scrap of grit I had, I pushed deeper into its lower guts, my tentacle-like arms making me feel like an intrepid explorer, navigating through a pulsating labyrinth of rotten flesh and bone—and, I’ll admit, I was savoring the taste of it.
And boom, jackpot—I made it to the grand prize, dangling right above the beast’s scrotum, hanging there like the world’s most disturbing chandelier. Now, the million-dollar question: how to crash this nasty party? That’s when it smacked me—why not go full sludge? I let go of my Polymorph, shifting back to my gloriously sticky, tar-like self. Nothing could stop me now as I seeped deeper into the jerk’s sack. And there they were, glowing like glorious orbs the size of basketballs. Don’t get me wrong, I’m more of a tit-and-ass girl, but even I can appreciate a large set of balls from time to time.
No wonder my puny fist exploded upon impact.
These bad boys were begging for a beatdown. Time to smash his precious payload—but damn, I lacked the right tools for a proper jewel heist.
If only I had a sword or something hefty to swing—shit! I totally spaced on snagging that toad’s sword and shield after our fight!
Argh, I can be such a dumbass at times.
Stuck and stewing, I flipped through my status page, scrolling for anything in my arsenal that might crack these nuts wide open.
V:\Ascension>SAFE_MODE
CharacterStatus
Name: Blake
Race: Black Pudding
Class: Monster
Level: 25
Titles:
- [Hopeless Crusader]
Racial Skills:
- [Absorb]
- [Arcane Insight]
- [Corrosive]
- [Polymorph]
- [Thermal]
Spells:
- [Astral Insight]
- [Blight]
- [Life Drain]
- [Mana Focus]
- [Necrotic Flame]
- [Paralysis]
- [Terror’s Infusion]
Abilities:
- [Burst]
- [Ethereal Mist]
- [Silk Webbing]
- [Spider Walk]
- [Venomous]
Vulnerabilities:
- [Fire]
- [Holy]
Immunities:
- [Acid]
- [Darkness]
- [Disease]
- [Dread]
- [Fear]
- [Poison]
- [Sleep]
- [Sorrow]
Unique Traits:
- [Oracle]
- [Polyglot]
- [Stellar Void]
Selectable Skills:
- [Dull Corrode]
- [Fear Harvest]
- [Fear]
- [Fortress]
- [Leap]
- [Shield Proficiency]
- [Spirit Vessel]
- [Spores]
V:\>
Huh, if I had Spores, I’d be the one doing some hardcore pollinating around here. Let’s just say, it wouldn’t be the first time I did that to a man. He-he!
Um… Wait, wouldn’t this be considered beastiality?
…No?
As my gaze landed on one particular skill, a devilish plan popped into my head, sparking a wild cackle that could wake the dead. Who cares if this was some dead dungeon or that I was supposedly the underdog in this fight? I had already clinched victory; it was just that neither the admin nor this oversized pinata had caught up yet. There I was, slathered all over the chimera’s precious nuts—phylacteries, my bad! Didn’t have a blade to carve them out, but who needs sharp objects when you’ve got cosmic tricks up your sleeve?
With a flick of my intent, I triggered Stellar Void. Just like that, those shiny orbs blinked out of existence, snatched from their cozy home. As they poofed, a barrage of notifications began to light up my vision like a damn ex flaunting their new partner around, desperate for gloating attention. Not that I’ve ever done that, nope. Never... Okay, maybe once or twice, but hey, it involved a set of twins. Though, they weren’t identical… nor the same gender. Hot as hell, though. Huh, that’s a bit gross and creepy now that I think about it—oh well, they weren’t my siblings!
V:\Ascension>SAFE_MODE
BattleResult
Enemy Defeated Dungeon Boss: [Lich King Chimera]
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
LEVEL UP!
Current Level: 45
Level 30 Milestone Achieved [LMA]
Racial Skill Unlocked: [Withheld_By_Admin]
Level 35 Milestone Achieved [LMA]
Racial Skill Unlocked: [Withheld_By_Admin]
Level 40 Milestone Achieved [LMA]
Racial Skill Unlocked: [Withheld_By_Admin]
Level 45 Milestone Achieved [LMA]
Unlocked 3 Skill points
Next Milestone at Level: 50
Initiate [Absorb] on Dungeon Boss: [Lich King Chimera]
> YES
> NO
V:\>
Whoop! I win! Flawless victory! Wait—
“Seriously?!” I cursed out loud as I finally took in the full notification. “You’re withholding my racial skill milestones? What. The. Fuck. Ugh! Is this for calling you a bitch, or a cunt?!” I screamed.
I had defeated the chimera without any... significant assistance or manipulation from that admin bitch, well, minus Paralysis, but it’s not like it did much at all. But to withhold not one, but three milestone skills from me? Either she’s pissed about the name-calling, or this is her twisted way of demanding payment for her so-called aid. Either way, fuck her!
Ugh, enough about her!
As I lay triumphantly within my dead foe’s scrotum, I noticed something strange happening to my body. The chimera’s defeat seemed to have nullified all its resistances. With the phylacteries safely locked away within my pocket dimension—Stellar Void, a dimension I never thought I’d use—I was now able to melt through the undead creature with ease. Instead of freely exploring its innermost depths, I took my time savoring my meal like a British-style breakfast of sausage and beans.
Oozing my way back into the chimera’s torn intestines and out through the hole in its abdomen, I remained in my true form as a Black Pudding. I could have easily made a quick exit by dissolving my way out from where I had just been. Yet, the idea of leaking out of its nut sack, like the day I was first conceived, was a no-go. I was a girl with standards, after all.
In my tar-like form, I skipped physical eyes, opting instead for the full-on sensory overload of Mana Focus for perception. Honestly, I was starting to get used to it—I still hated it, of course. The disorienting panoramic view it offered was both fascinating and overwhelming, kind of like having your brain tossed in a blender. So, as I oozed out of the chimera’s carcass, I quickly rushed to reform my eyes. With a surge of mana, a pair of vibrant orange orbs sprouted on my gooey form, glowing like neon signs. I even began morphing into a sort of human-alien hybrid form, boasting all the curves of a sexy succubus, paired with a face only a mother could love—still perfecting that alien botox look. What? I sort of liked that creepy, cute aesthetic. My gaze quickly shifted to where the three statues had once stood, now conspicuously empty.
“Looks like they didn’t want to stick around for the encore,” I chuckled.
Before I could dive deeper into that thought, I went to cast Absorb, but a flash of something white like marble caught my eye. I whipped around just in time to find a large golden shield slamming into my face with enough force to send me flying from my gruesome feast in an explosive impact.