JohnWillStab slowly inched out of the shack with the chair glued to his ass.

His arms spread like the wings of a bird or perhaps the image of Christ himself, the chair was John’s cross to bear, his boulder to roll up the hill on.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: I’M COMING GUYS! JUST WAIT FOR ME!” he called out, slowly inching towards the capital city which was no more ten or twenty minutes away from him on foot.

He gritted his teeth as his fingers grew more and more tired of tapping the “W” key and occasionally either the “A” or “D” keys to turn.

Seeing the depressingly slow speed of his wooden mount, John began to think of a solution.

“What do I do?!”

“Maybe I could kill myself…”

“No… I should focus on the game…”

John scratched his chin

“The others probably had to change their names too…”

“So, they won’t be able to find me…”

“If I don’t take part in the finale… they might replace me…”

John smirked uncomfortably.

“Who else could they use for a main character?!” he asked himself as his chair slowly neared the downwards slope of a grassy hill.

“Bonifacius? He’s too nice for a main character!”

“Foxly… nah… they wouldn’t make an ex-antagonist guy a main character…”

John began to sweat.

“The cheater? No… there’d be no point in making someone who can spawn items in the main character!”

His thoughts were getting more frantic.

“Besides, the main character has to be a dude, otherwise our main audience can’t think of this as their power fantasy…” said the level one character who got themselves trapped in a chair.

“We can’t upset the neck-bears…”

John started to ignore the sore fingers, he continued mashing the keys on keyboard.

“I can see it already!”

“They’ll make a new character the mc, then I’ll get a little cameo every few years until I become a bad guy and get killed!”

John was starting to tear up as his chair fell down and he began to roll towards the city at a slightly more acceptable pace until he got stuck in a small valley.

“Alexander: Welcome, everyone! Do not be fooled, this is not heaven! This is a brand-new game released by yours truly, hexadecimal-increase! I hope you’ll enjoy my many years of work!”

The message was available to everyone in global chat, it was pinned above all other messages, preventing it from being washed away with the deluge of spam in the global chat.

There were people begging for money, asking for loot, some wanted their old game back, others advertised new, competitive gold-buying opportunities.

Some players chose to post their Binary Progression names in the chat so that their friends had a chance of finding them, some players countered this by pretending to be other players.

At least ten players pretended to be Kevin.

The sheer volume of incoming messages made it impossible to read anything aside from the formerly mentioned message from Alexander.

After finally tracking down his username, ♛ sent Bonifacius an invitation to her party.

Thanks to his similar yet unusual name, she was able to make the educated-guess that Bonifacius was Pwnibikkus.

“♛: Bonifacius?”

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: Crown! Thou have managed to find me!” he exclaimed.

Lorb, Bonifacius and Curstl just passed a small town, they were getting close to the capital.

“♛: Thank f#*k it’s you! Is John there with you?” she asked.

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: No, I am travelling with an NPC by the name of Lorb!” he explained.

Curstl couldn’t see their private messages, if she could, she would have certainly been upset by her exclusion from Bonifacius’ companion list.

♛ didn’t mention the fact Lorb appeared on the player roster to Bonifacius, she didn’t wish to complicate things.

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: What about thou, is there any ally of ours with thee?” he questioned.

“♛: There was, but Foxly got banned by the anti-cheat…” she explained.

A feeling of grief and rage came over Bonifacius.

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: I see…”

“♛: Anyway, I should probably catch you up-to-speed with things…” she began.

♛ confirmed that the anti-cheat guards ban you thirty seconds after hitting you, the admin is Alex and he is untouchable by her cheats since his player ID is hidden.

They both agreed that the central city was the best place to meet up.

Most importantly, ♛ told Bonifacius and by extension Curstl and the others that the previous game was deleted and was beyond saving.

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: I understand, I shall see thou at the capital!” he explained.

♛ nodded, forgetting Bonifacius couldn’t see her emotes over that chat at this distance.

“♛: I’d teleport you guys but I don’t want to make the anti-cheat go after you,” she explained.

While the three groups neared the capital, Alexander disguised with the username of Alex, wandered the streets of the central city.

He came across a small wooden podium where a small rally was happening.

“Glad to see some roleplay taking place already!” Alex thought, glancing to the chat to see what type of roleplay this was.

“Oblivionion: LET’S BURN THIS F#*KING GAME TO THE GROUND!” he exclaimed, holding a torch in one hand and the decapitated head of an NPC in the other.

The other players cheered pulling out their torches.

Alexander made every player start with a torch because he made it so night-time is seriously dark, travelling without a lamp or torch was almost impossible, especially if you didn’t want to be eaten by something.

“Xuphicatr: LET’S STICK THE CAT-EAR GUY’S HEAD ON A PIKE!” he exclaimed.

More cheering.

“Broomy: LET’S #*!* DOWN HIS #*!£*~% ~£% SO THAT EVEN THE #*£& IS #*£%*% S#*TLESS!”

Some of the crowd cheered though they didn’t seem so convinced, mostly because the message was too censored to understand.

“Kevin: NO TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!” he exclaimed.

A few more players cheered.

“Pastaapro: HOME RULE IS ROME RULE!”

More cheering.

Kevin and Pastaapro exchanged dirty looks without saying a single word.

At some point, the whole thing turned into random historical quotes followed by violent riots once the quotes got too relevant.

“Alex: Calm down, everyone! Let’s go have some fun! Let’s do some quests!”

“Alex: I happen to know a really cool mushroom-picking quest!” he said with a wink.

Everyone stopped their fighting for a few seconds as they glared at the blond, cat-eared human wearing a pair of glasses and a blue hoodie.

“Alex: What is it?”

“Kevin: YOU’RE THE BASTARD!” he cried, pointing a finger at the moderator as all the other player’s began running towards him, screaming incoherently.

“Broomy: !%£” #%”£# ^(#“ £&^# ”£ %#^ CHEESE ”((# #~#!”

Alexander felt his stomach turn as he witnesses the uncensored version of that message.

“Natkyle: Guys, I don’t think we can take down a moderator with just… like… weapons…”

“Broomy: SHUT UP, KYLE! NOBODY CARES!”

A few other players nodded in agreement.

Natkyle breathed a sigh as he turned to Alexander.

Alex broke into a sprint away from the blood-thirsty players, unlike real life, walking at a moderate pace wasn’t enough to lose them.

He was forced to use of his moderator abilities to make himself invisible.

The rioters ran right past him as he made his way through the alleys of the massive, hand-crafted city into a small inn.

It looked pretty shabby; the outside was shaded by a birch tree which grew out from the cracked cobblestone road.

There was a wooden plaque reading “Not-Alex’s Inn”, it was hung up with a rope attached to the walls of the inn on one end and attached to one of the branched of the tree on the other.

After taking a few seconds to admire his work, he stepped inside and breathed a sigh as he removed his invisibility.

He looked around and felt his heart stop as he saw the pink-haired pastel-elf t-posing at the table with a straight face.

“Revinbery: …”

“Alex: …”

“Revinbery: Well this is awkward…”

With a flick of his hair, Alex’ expression went from shocked to smug.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

“Alex: So, how are you liking my game?” he asked, leaning against one of table with one arm.

Revenberry, forced to rename herself to Revinbery, took a few seconds to reply, as if Alexander was meant to gather her reply from her t-posing, stuck in a chair, in complete silence.

“Revinbery: It’s s#*t…”

His expression erupted into shock as if he never expected this reply.

“Alex: W-what do you mean?!”

“Alex: Do you mean like… it’s the shit? Like, good?”

Revenberry stared at him with a wry expression before quickly shaking her head.

“Revinbery: No… it sucks a$$…”

“Alex: You mean, like, sucks a$$ in a good way, right?” he asked anxiously.

“Revinbery: DUDE!” she gave up on being in any way nice at this point.

“Revinbery: I’M STUCK IN A CHAIR!” she exclaimed.

Alexander scratched the back of his head.

“Alex: Bugs always happen at launch, it’s nothing new…” he shrugged.

“Revinbery: Yeah, true…” she nodded.

A smile spread over Alex’s face in real life.

“Revinbery: BUT MOST GAMES DON’T HIJACK OTHER GAMES!”

He breathed a sigh as his smile slowly faded away.

“Alex: Still on about that?” he asked with raised eyebrows.

“Alex: Come on, just give the game a shot!” he pleaded.

She gritted her teeth.

“Revinbery: I TRIED! LOOK WHERE IT GOT ME!” she exclaimed gesturing down to her t-posing self with her chin.

Reluctantly, Alexander walked up and picked the harpy off the stool before placing her back down onto the ground.

“Revinbery: Thank f’*k! I thought I was going to die like that!” she exclaimed.

“Alex: So, are we good?” he asked hopefully.

Revenberry folded her arms.

“Revinbery: Of course not!”

“Revinbery: What part of this don’t you understand?! People are mad because you made our game disappear!” she exclaimed.

“Alex: But… this game… is better…” he explained innocently.

Revenberry pinched the bridge of her nose.

“Revinbery: Dude… regardless of if that is true…”

“Alex: Which it is…”

“Revinbery: You can’t just… steal a game!”

“Revinbery: Imagine if I broke into your house and burned it to the ground before moving you to a nicer one!”

“Alex: I’d be fine with that.” He replied matter-of-factly.

Revenberry breathed a sigh.

“What’s with this guy?!” she thought.

Seeing that she wasn’t getting anywhere, she turned towards the door without saying anything else.

Revenberry stormed out of the building much to Alex’s confusion.

He looked around the small, shabby establishment.

“Did she not like the décor?” he asked himself, glancing as the plain wooden tables and rickety, old oil lamps.

“I mean, It’s not the best looking shop… but…” he thought folding his arms and stepping over to the worn counter upon which stood many colourful bottles.

“I kind of like it…” he thought with a smile.

Alexander stepped outside, the vibrant sunlight and the many player-held torches were a strong contrast to the warm indoor lighting,

“Pastaapro: There he is!” cried one of the players, directing the stream of violent protesters towards Alexander.

“SHIT!”

Alexander broken into a sprint away from the group again, his escape led him deeper and deeper into the maze of alleys.

“Eykeahodyn: You’re dead, a$$hole!” he exclaimed, they shot an arrow from their bow at Alexander, it pierced his arm with a splutter of blood.

“You don’t seriously think you’ll corner me in MY city?!”

Alexander made a sharp turn right only to be met with more players, they did, in fact, corner him.

“Pastaapro: You’re cornered!” he exclaimed, pointing at the moderator who simply teleported to another place in the city.

“Natkyle: That was… to be expected…”

“Pastaapro: SHUT UP, KYLE! NOBODY CARES!”

A few other players nodded in agreement once again.

Alexander appeared near the gates of the city, the arrow in his arm slipped out as his wound healed instantly, even the hole in his hoodie disappeared as his stats maxed out.

Alexander enabled god-mode; he was officially immortal.

“Did they seriously think they can kill a moderator?” he asked with an uneasy laugh.

“I-I mean that’s just silly!”

As Alexander continued his downwards spiral into confusion and uncertainty, JohnWillStab received a message from ♛ elsewhere.

“♛: John?” she asked uncertainly; after comparing the list of players with names that more or less match her list of Binary Progression names, she found a couple dozen that didn’t fit at all, she messaged about ten and confirmed they weren’t John already.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: PLEASE DON’T REPLACE ME! THINK OF THE NECKBEARDS!”

♛ breathed a sigh.

“♛: Ah, good, so it is you.”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Think about it! It’ll work out! I can get some flashback going!” he offered out of pure desperation.

“♛: What?”

Many years ago…

JohnWillStab sat at his computer and ate a cup of instant noodles.

His window was open, so he went over to close it, but as soon as he stood up, the cup fell from his hand and spilled onto the ground.

John collapsed to the wooden floor, smashing his closed fists into the now wet floor boards.

“CURSE YOU! WINDOWS!” he cried.

Back to present time…

“♛: What… was that?” she asked, confused.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Character development!” he exclaimed frantically.

“♛: No, you just dropped a f#*king cup of noodles!”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: No, I just gained a ha-ha-quirky new feature, I hate windows, that’s my thing now!” He explained.

“♛: …please don’t…” she pleaded, legitimately concerned.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: What do you mean?! It was always like this!”

John thought back to the time a window killed him back when he started the game because it assumed he was a bot out for pure spite.

He thought back to the time the window created a bot which farmed mushrooms due to a bug and missing server for the purpose of poisoning an orphanage.

He imagined the time a window sent him a load of cash and made him take the blame for it disappearing after the tutorial.

He imagined the time the window tried to make him a slave and made him go attack a powerful guild before he was even level ten.

♛ interrupted John’s thoughts.

“♛: Hey! Stop that!”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Stop what?”

“♛: According to your ‘thoughts’ you turned me into a f#*king window!”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Are you saying this isn’t enough?! I need more… what… what else could I do…”

“♛: DUDE! This is f#*king serious! Focus on the game, man!”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: A plot twist!” he exclaimed, finally knowing what he must do.

♛ practically smashed her face into her desk upon seeing John’s message.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: I WAS CROWN ALL ALONG!”

“♛: John, I will, beat the ever-loving s#*t out of you as soon as I find you…”

John’s eyes widened.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: That’s it! Split personalities!” he exclaimed.

“♛: I WILL SPLIT YOUR SKULL!” She cried.

The chat went silent for a bit.

She breathed a sigh.

“♛: Well, I called you for help coming up with a plan but I didn’t expect you to be going through a mid-life crisis…” she sighed.

“♛: Foxly got banned already,”

John swiftly shifted to his more normal self.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: What do you mean?”

“♛: The greedy frog dude, banned,”

JohnWillStab clenched his fists.

“I hoped adding a tonne of funny shit would make this a light-hearted chapter!” he sighed.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Did you find Bonifacius?” he asked.

Unsure if John was serious yet, she replied.

“♛: Yeah, Curstl and him are heading to the city in the middle of the map,” she replied.

John nodded.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Alright, we should form a party, that’ll make communicating a bit easier…”

♛ breathed a relieved sigh upon seeing John was back to normal.

“♛: I already invited Bonifacius in, I’ll invite you now…” she said, already sending John an invitation.

JohnWillStab entered the chat and noticed it was composed of four people, John, ♛, Curstl and Bonifacius.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: It is I, John!”

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: JohnWillStab! I am glad to see thou are alright!” he exclaimed.

“Curstl: what a… unique… name…” she remarked.

John’s brow twitched at the notice of his embarrassing name.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Quite the unique guild-base you had…”

“Curstl: Touché”

“♛: Guys! We need to focus on the task ahead!”

“Lorb: Exactly!”

Everyone glared at the name of the NPC who somehow infiltrated their group chat.

“Lorb: …”

“Lorb: What is it?”

“Curstl: How did you enter out private chat?” she asked suspiciously.

With a feeling of Déjà vu, ♛’s thoughts drifted to Bonifacius.

“♛: Bonifacius… did you invite him in?”

Bonifacius nodded.

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: Naturally, I could not exclude our companion!”

“Lorb: The world does not deserve you, Bonifacius…” he remarked.

John and Curstl nodded in unison.

While the group was talking, John noticed a blue-hoodie wearing, blond human with cat ears.

He left the private chat with his group and called out for help from the stranger.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Hey! Dude!”

Alexander turned to face John.

“Alex: What is it?” he asked suspiciously.

John rolled over to make his character face the stranger.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Do you think you could kill me?” he asked.

“Alex: …”

“Alex: Why?”

The t-posing John raised an eyebrow.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Because I’m kind of stuck on the chair…” he explained.

Alexander looked down and noticed John was, in fact, sitting on a chair whilst t-posing.

“Alex: I can just… take you out of the chair… you know…” he offered.

John’s face lit up.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: You can do that kind of thing?!”

Alexander walked up to John, picked him up and put him back down onto the ground.

John was practically in tears; he placed a hand on Alex’s shoulder.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: You are real mc material, y’know that…?” he said with a relieved expression.

“Alex: Are… are you ok?” he asked.

Alexander was starting to feel legitimately concerned.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: I’m good, now!” he laughed.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Thanks for the help, Alex!” he said with a smile.

“Alex: Glad to help!” he replied, also smiling.

JohnWillStab breathed a relieved sigh as he entered the private chat once again.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Guys, some guy called Alex just freed me from my chair-prison, I can come help out now!” he exclaimed.

While the chair-prison itself was a mystery to them, the fact John referred to his liberator as Alex was the real issue.

“♛: Is his username, Alex?”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Yeah…?”

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: That is the moderator, JohnWillStab!” he exclaimed.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: What?!” John took another look at the scrawny human with cat-ears.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Are you sure?”

“♛: YES!”

“Lorb: YES!”

“Curstl: YES!”

“(Bonifacius)Pwnibikkus: Indeed, it would seem so.”

“♛: Keep him occupied! It’ll take us a while to get to you!” she instructed.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Alright!” JohnWillStab agreed.

John looked back to Alex who was seemingly talking to himself until now,

“Alex: But yeah, this sure is an interesting world we found ourselves in!” he laughed.

JohnWillStab nodded.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: It sure is… unique!” he remarked with a smile.

“Unique my ass! I’d rather be playing one of the Wormcraft rip-offs…” he thought.

Alex’s face lit up.

“Alex: Do you seriously think so?!” he asked, stepping uncomfortably close to John.

John nodded uncertainly.

“Alex: I can show you a cool spot to get some rare items!” he offered.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Are you sure?” he asked, not wanting to stray too far from the town, even then, getting away from the town is better than losing Alex.

“Alex: Yeah! We’re both fellow first-timers here, after all!” he exclaimed with a thumbs up.

John raised both eyebrows in real life.

“He is not a great liar…”

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Alright! Sure!”

The over-joyed Alex turned away from the town and pointed to a lake only a few minutes away from the city.

“Alex: It’s right over there!” he explained.

John nodded.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Alright, let’s get going!”

The duo travelled down to the lake around which jumped blue slimes.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Cool, slimes!”

Alex folded his arms and nodded.

“Alex: Yeah, I think it’s cool how they appear around lakes and stuff, it doesn’t make sense how they can survive in places with no lakes or rivers!” he remarked smugly.

John turned to face the man.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: What about rain?” he asked.

Alexander froze.

“Alex: True… I forgot…”

“Alex: I mean the moderator forgot!”

“Alex: I mean I forgot his decision didn’t make as much sense!”

John forced a smile.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: R-right!”

He nodded.

Alexander breathed a sigh.

“Phew… I think he didn’t realize…” he thought with a potent feeling of relief.

Suddenly, one of the slimes leapt onto Alex, immediately bouncing off and popping and splattering blue gel onto the ground.

All colour left Alexander’s face as his god-mode automatically killed the slime.

“Alex: …woah!” he gasped.

“Alex: What a strange bug! It died instantly; did you see that?” he looked over to John with an expression of utter shock.

JohnWillStab was on the verge of dropping his façade.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Mm… yep… sure is… weird…”

Alexander walked over to the slime and looted it, John could see Alex pick up some blue gel and a rusty dagger.

“Alex: Woah, you’ll never believe it, Ghbnjvfsd!” he exclaimed.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: It’s fcd”

Alexander walked up to John and sent him a trade request; John accepted it as Alexander offered him one item.

It was a violet potion called “Legendary name-changing potion” it was worth over a million gold.

“Alex: You should keep it; you can sell it… or drink it… I don’t mind, I heard they taste nice!”

JohnWillStab wasn’t sure how to react to the clearly spawned-in item.

“(JohnWillStab)Ghbnjvfcd: Thanks!” he drank it and changed his name to JohnWillStab, unlike before, this time, the name worked.

“JohnWillStab: Thanks! I definitely like this name better!” he laughed.

Alexander breathed a sigh of relief that didn’t go unnoticed by John.

“Alex: Your name really sounds familiar…” he remarked.

“JohnWillStab: No it doesn’t!” he exclaimed.

Despite John’s denial, Alexander kept trying to remember why the name JohnWillStab sounded so familiar.

“Alex: Were you on TV at some point?” he asked.

John shook his head frantically.

“JohnWillStab: Of course not! Why would I, an average JohnWillStab, be on TV?!” he demanded.

Both of them went quiet for a few seconds before Alexander shrugged.

“Alex: Huh, guess I must be imagining things,” he laughed.