Their blades clashed, Atwoz used his sword together with a small, hand-mounted buckler against Dorpificus’ rapier.

For his borderline disabled mind, Atwoz was capable of keeping up with the jGuardian officer in combat quite well.

They exchanged blows, neither wished to hand over any advantage to the other; their health percentages remaining synchronized.

JohnWillStab threw his dagger at the harpy, it landed in his shoulder, piercing his suit and tabard.

With this hit, Dorpificus was officially at the eighty-percent health mark.

“JohnWillStab: take that!” he exclaimed as the harpy couched up a small splatter of blood.

He jumped back a meter or two.

“Dorpificus: Impressive…” he said before tossing his rapier aside.

Before they could ask any further questions, Dorpificus began removing his armour piece by piece.

JohnWillStab was starting to have some serious doubts about the mental stability of this game’s player base.

“This is like the third pervert I’ve met in this game today…”

“Dorpificus: Come, face me with your warrior’s spirit!”

“JohnWillStab: I’d rather not…” he shivered.

“Atwoz: Very well!” he exclaimed, also tossing his sword aside, he pulled out a different one, white at the base, it turned green the further up the blade it went.

There was no hilt or even a dedicated handle.

A weapon with a mix of cutting and blunt damage.

Dorpificus stood nude and pixelated except for his top hat as he marvelled at the weapon.

“Dorpificus: What an odd blade…” he remarked.

JohnWillStab looked at the “sword” in shock and horror seeing very clearly that it was a leek.

“JohnWillStab: …Is that… a leek?”

“Atwoz: Aren’t you going to remove that hat?” he asked with a smirk.

Dorpificus shook his head.

“Dorpificus: A man’s hat is his pride and soul!”

“JohnWillStab: …You can see it’s a leek too, right?” he asked looking to the hat pervert and back to the leek.

Dorpificus took in a deep breath as he flexed his muscles even harder.

“Dorpificus: When in battle, expose your greatest weakness, that is the creed of a true hat-warrior!” he exclaimed before lunging at the unprepared Atwoz.

“JohnWillStab: Now you’re making s#*t up! I know for a fact there is no such thing as a hat-warrior!” he cried pointing at the harpy.

“Dorpificus: If you think that, than I shall show you just how wrong you are, undead!” he exclaimed as with one swift strike he grabbed Atwoz’s face before smashing it into a wall, all the while his body hung limply, unable to fight back.

The impact shattered the wooden wall causing parts of it to crumble.

John watched in horror as the one player filling both the ranks of a tank and a DPS in his group lost almost twenty percent of his health in one hit.

“Dorpificus: That was called the mask strike, it clutches to your face tightly like a well-crafted mask,”

He tossed the bleeding Atwoz to the ground allowing him the chance to get back to his feet.

John continued to throw daggers at the enemy, unlike before, they did little to no damage, some failed to penetrate his skin with others barely making it a few centimetres in.

Atwoz put on a desperate, bloody grin as his eyes turned towards the unarmoured fighter.

“Atwoz: The rapier… it wasn’t your main class… was it?” he asked.

Dorpificus smiled.

“Dorpificus: The jGuardians show little appreciation for the gentlemanly arts of brawling!” he replied stepping towards the human.

Atwoz let out a laugh as he broke for a sprint towards the incoming harpy, he slashed at him yet didn’t land a single strike.

“Dorpificus: Prepare yourself, Atwoz! I shall show you the ultimate hat-style combo attack!” he exclaimed.

The barely-standing, blue-haired man nodded.

“Atwoz: Show me what you’re made of!”

Brimming with excitement, the harpy’s muscles bounced to life, swelling in size as his character grew to almost double his usual size.

“Dorpificus: BY MY HAT, I WILL!” he cried as Atwoz brough out his shield in time to block a kick from the harpy.

On impact, his entire shield turned to metal scrap and chunks of wood as his left arm became a limp sausage of bone-mush and pulverized flesh.

His character was launched across the long hallway, flying into a distant wall which his character broke through.

Before John could react, the harpy got down into a running pose and like a speeding train, barrelled right over to the blue-haired player.

His sudden stop was met with a “Woosh” sound effect as the rocks and dust around the broken walls flew about.

With one swift swipe, the harpy grabbed Atwoz, grasping his throat with his massive hands as the streams of red trickled from the blue-haired man’s mouth and nose.

“Dorpificus: You were a worthy opponent, now, rest!”

“Dorpificus: I will make sure to kill you so that you may respawn elsewhere.” He offered, seeing his ability slowly ticking down Atwoz’ health.

Suddenly it stopped.

“What on earth-?!” Atwoz fell to the ground as Dorpificus noticed the small, insignificant fist of JohnWillStab planted in his side.

JohnWillStab cast [Gut Punch] to interrupt Dorpificus’ ability.

Before he could fully turn around his gut was pierced with Atwoz’ weapon.

The green top of the leek remained planted in the man’s abdomen.

“Atwoz: Nice work, running-man!”

“JohnWillStab: IT’S A F#*KING LEEK, ISN’T IS?!” he demanded.

Atwoz turned away from John and set his eyes on the hat pervert.

The green vines and the thin layer of moss-like greenery spread throughout his body.

“Dorpificus: What a… unique weapon…” he remarked seeing his health and mana ebb and flow as his ability to move slowly faded away with his stamina.

“Atwoz: It’s called the green blade of the forest king,”

“Atwoz: It will drain you of all life and destroy any weapons and armour you gave equipped unless they are either enchanted or made from metal,” he explained.

The harpy nodded.

“Dorpificus: I understand,” he said glancing up to his magnificent top hat with a heavy-hearted feeling of guilt as the green slowly reached his neck.

He closed his eyes, knowing his hat was beyond saving.

Atwoz reached for his normal blade and with a strike both big and fast, severed the man’s head before it could be consumed by the moss and vines.

Dorpificus’ head flew to the side with the fancy top hat still attached to it.

Seeing the act of mercy, John was overcome with an uncharacteristic feeling of admiration for the insane blue-haired leek-wielder.

“Atwoz: Let’s get going, light-speed-running-pervert-of-the-field-charge-and-bullet-dodging-and-knife-throwing!” he exclaimed before he reached for a health-potion and drank it.

John’s admiration was replaced with scorn at the sight of his recently-evolved nickname.

“JohnWillStab: So are you going to admit that was a leek or..?!”

“Atwoz: Quick! Let’s go find our allies!”

With great reluctance and confusion regarding the nature of the leek sword, John agreed.

As Atwoz and JohnWillStab charged into the room they knew was a prison by the large chains hanging from the walls as well as the wooden sign reading “Dark Theatres Are Best Left For Dark Deeds (The Dungeon)”.

This story has been unlawfully obtained without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

When they entered the dungeon, they found several players staying in regular non-cheater-proof cells.

“XxFoxlyxX: Hey,” he said casually.

John turned to see Foxly and noticed his character was attached to a stretching rack, Foxly was now stretched to the length of a regular human.

John felt sick at the image alone.

“JohnWillStab: Holy s#*t, dude! Are you ok!?”

Foxly shrugged casually, displaying his oddly dislocated joints.

“XxFoxlyxX: Yeah, I mean, it’s not like I can actually feel any of this…” he replied casually.

He looked around.

“XxFoxlyxX: So, how are thing with you?” he asked.

John moved to the rack, freeing Foxly while Atwoz tended to the dozen cheering prisoners from his guild.

“JohnWillStab: Ah, good, good. We’re laying siege to the jGuardians!” he explained.

“XxFoxlyxX: Yeah, I noticed…” he said stepping off the rack and standing up revealing he was taller than John now.

“XxFoxlyxX: Hold on…”

After a few crunches and some “/stretch” emotes, XxFoxlyxX’s character returned to his regular size.

“XxFoxlyxX: Ah, much better!”

“JohnWillStab: Cool…?” he remarked uncertainly.

XxFoxlyxX breathed a sigh.

“XxFoxlyxX: By the way… you think you could start using the private message system?” he asked.

“JohnWillStab: What do you mean?” he asked.

“XxFoxlyxX: Bonifacius and I have been messaging you for the last… twenty or so minutes…”

“JohnWillStab: Oh…” he sighed.

Foxly nodded.

“JohnWillStab: Anyway, we still need to find Bonifacius!” he exclaimed turning towards the door.

XxFoxlyxX’s expression went from a relieved one to an unimpressed one.

“XxFoxlyxX: About that…” he began.

A few minutes later, John and Foxly ran through the hall, going the same way they came in order to reach the stairs in the centre of the building.

They would need to travel all the way up to the top floor if they wanted to find Bonifacius, according to Foxly.

While they ran, a familiar face came stood in the hall.

It was Olivionion.

“Olivionion: Nice trick! But what now?” he asked, tossing John the heads of about a dozen Silverlight players he pulled out of his inventory.

John and Foxly reached for their weapons.

XxFoxlyxX turned to face John.

They spoke in the private chat.

“XxFoxlyxX: Let’s retreat! We can use the Silverlight guys as meat shields!”

“JohnWillStab: But the cells are a dead end!” he replied.

“XxFoxlyxX: THIS IS A PRETTY FUCKING DEAD END TOO!” he cried looking to Olivionion.

As John and Foxly started considering a retreat back to the dead end that was the prison, the fishman charged at them.

JohnWillStab shut his eyes awaiting his death, when he opened them, he saw the unwelcome sight of a naked harpy.

“Dorpificus: I will grant you five minutes!” he exclaimed, holding Olivionion in a stranglehold.

“JohnWillStab: Hat-pervert!”

“Olivionion: What gives, man!?”

They were both equally shocked.

“Dorpificus: As your superior in rank, I command you to take a five-minute break, fish-dude!” he exclaimed tightening his grip.

The hat pervert, who still wore his fancy top had turned to John and Foxly.

“Dorpificus: It’s the least I can do… quick! You need to hurry!” he instructed as Olivionion began to stab the muscular fighter.

John and Foxly nodded before continuing their sprint to the top floor.

“XxFoxlyxX: Thanks!”

“JohnWillStab: Thanks!”

As soon as they left their earshot, Foxly turned to John.

“XxFoxlyxX: WHO THE F#*K WAS THAT!?” he demanded.

“JohnWillStab: I’ll tell you later!” he yelled back.

A few minutes later, the two stood before the open door of the jGuardian leader’s office.

On the couch, sat Bonifacius holding a teacup, Curstl sat beside him also drinking the tea.

“Curstl: Intruders?” she questioned.

She raised an eyebrow.

“Curstl: Just one moment! I’ll incinerate them in no time!” she laughed, placing her cup away and turning towards John and Foxly.

“XxFoxlyxX: Sup…”

“JohnWillStab: Bonifacius!”

“Bonifacius: JohnWillStab, thou are alright!”

John nodded.

“JohnWillStab: Yeah, I came here to rescue you guys!” he exclaimed.

Bonifacius shot him a thumbs up.

“Bonifacius: While I was in no immediate danger, I truly appreciate the effort!”

Curstl watched the exchange uncertainly as Bonifacius placed the teacup down.

“Bonifacius: This is the one I spoke of, the leader of the jGuardians,” he gestured towards Curstl.

“Curstl: Hello!” she waved a friendly hello, as if she didn’t just say she’d incinerate them moments before.

“Bonifacius: We were negotiating the terms of releasing Crown from the jGuardians!”

JohnWillStab raised both eyebrows.

“JohnWillStab: I ran into her a while back, she made the jGuardian thing up…”

After a few awkward, silent second everyone turned to look at Curstl.

She let out a delayed gasp.

“Curstl: O-oh no! She escaped!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“Bonifacius: …”

“XxFoxlyxX: …”

Curstl began to sweat and Bonifacius and the rest of his party left Curstl’s office wordlessly.

“Curstl: N-no! Come back!”

That’s when Bonifacius, XxFoxlyxX and JohnWillStab received a private message from ♛.

“♛: You have precisely 30 seconds to f#*k off the jGuardian’s land or you’re getting incinerated…” she said as outside the window in Curstl’s office, John, Bonifacius and Foxly could see the bright light coming from above.

Moments later, ♛ began counting down in local chat.

“♛: 30…”

“♛: 29…”

“♛: 28…”

When Curstl looked back to Bonifacius to ask what their friend was counting down to, then she noticed he was already gone.

Bonifacius grabbed John and Foxly before charging out a glass window and flying right over the jGuardian walls.

They landed in a pile of bushes, Bonifacius was pretty hurt from the fall but it was nothing compared to the literal pillar of smoke and ash that erupted from the jGuardian base.

♛ floated near the storm as XxFoxlyxX recognised the attack animation.

“XxFoxlyxX: RUN!” he commanded as from the pillar of smoke reached out a green, scaly arm of a dragon.

John and Foxly began dragging the broken-legged Bonifacius away from the incoming attack, the trio managed to dive into a nearby lake for cover as the sky became white with falling projectiles which not only reduced the years old base but also its denizens to ash and rubble.

Everyone could see the message in global chat, it was all red.

“The jGuardians lost their guild base (1203 Days Old) to ???”

Cheers, concern and blame were exchanged in the global chat as Bonifacius, Foxly and John emerged mostly unharmed from the river.

Naturally, the loss of a base didn’t mean the loss of a guild, nevertheless, such a loss would have most certainly been damaging for the group.

“XxFoxlyxX: Today is a weird day…” he remarked.

“Bonifacius: All is well which has ended well!” he exclaimed with a thumbs up.

“XxFoxlyxX: I still can’t believe John managed to lay siege to the jGuardian base…” he remarked.

“Bonifacius: Indeed! Tis truly quite the achievement!” he exclaimed, turning to John who lay on the sand silently.

“JohnWillStab: Nah, I hijacked some army and just gave them a plan to get inside,”

Foxly rolled his eyes.

“XxFoxlyxX: Yeah, the Silverlight guys!”

“XxFoxlyxX: I don’t think they’ve managed to set foot inside the gates of the jGuardian base before today!”

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, they are not famed for their competence as fighters or strategists…”

“Bonifacius: Their determination is quite impressive though!”

John nodded.

“JohnWillStab: True!”

As the debris and ash fell down to the earth, scarring the burned landscape even further, ♛ was nowhere to be seen.

“Pedecree: You guys need a lift?” asked a confused player John and the others haven’t noticed until this point.

They turned around to the opposite side of the shallow lake, or rather pond, seeing a fat wolfman wearing a chef’s hat standing at the reigns of a horse-drawn cart.

“JohnWillStab: Sure…?”

Bonifacius’ face lit up.

“Bonifacius: Pedecree! Thou are unharmed!”

“Pedecree: Dear god, you don’t sound like an inbreed Shakespeare anymore!” he said with a smile.

With the help of his party members, Bonifacius made it to the cart where the trio sat in the back.

“Pedecree: I see you found someone to hang out with,” he remarked.

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, we have even been into a dungeon!”

“Pedecree: Just the three of you?” he asked with a raised eyebrow, the smile never left his face.

“Bonifacius: We had a druid; however, she is currently busy!”

“Pedecree: Mm, we knew about the dungeon, we were practically spamming you with private messages,” he explained.

Bonifacius’ face grew concerned at his own apparent rudeness.

“Bonifacius: Thou did? My apologies!”

“Pedecree: Don’t worry about it, there was an incident with some cheater pretending to be a moderator or something… I was off on a delivery to Ajuan until a few hours ago so I heard this second-hand,”

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: I see…” his expression grew more tense.

“Pedecree: Never mind that, Curstl was afraid you got banned is all,” he waved his hand dismissively.

“Pedecree: I doubt the jGuardians will be operational any time soon…”

Pedecree turned to face JohnWillStab and Foxly.

“Pedecree: Well hello there, I’m Bonifacius’ friend from the old guild,” he exclaimed, turning around to extend a handshake towards John and Foxly.

They all shook his hand.

“XxFoxlyxX: Hey, I’m the guy they scammed out of a load of cash,” he explained with a smile.

“JohnWillStab: Bonifacius killed me by accident so we quested together and stuff, he’s a great guide!” he laughed.

Pedecree nodded.

“Pedecree: Interesting friends you found,” he laughed.

Pedecree turned to back to face his horses.

“Pedecree: Now then, where would you like to be dropped off?”

“Bonifacius: I think this victory needs to be celebrated! Perhaps some nice inn?” he asked.

Pedecree nodded.

JohnWillStab folded his arms as he turned to look at Foxly and Bonifacius.

“JohnWillStab: Are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?”

“XxFoxlyxX: This whole mass-murder was unnecessary if you just calmly walked up to the jGuardian base?” he asked with a sudden look of realization.

John shook his head.

“JohnWillStab: No, but thanks for pointing it out…”

“Bonifacius: We should call Crown as well!”

“XxFoxlyxX: Are you guys f#*king serious?!”

John and Bonifacius nodded in unison.

Foxly pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep, silent, breath in.

“XxFoxlyxX: Fine…” he said through gritted teeth.

Both John and Bonifacius cracked a smile as the message appeared in chat.

“???: Thank you for using the ♛ cheating service, due to recent anti-cheat risks I will not be teleporting to you, instead I will manually travel to you, the ETA is: 1 minute and 15 seconds!”

Later that night…

Bonifacius stood before the pool table in the small inn located in the Rolling Plains.

Unlike most nights, it was empty except for the NPCs, this was most likely because everyone heard Alexander was last sighted in the Rolling Plains.

“Bonifacius: Thou are doing pretty well at this!” he exclaimed as ♛ stood with an unimpressed expression before the table, she was too short to even see the game she was apparently doing “pretty well” at.

“♛: Bonifacius, I’m not sure if should really be the one playing this game…” she remarked.

JohnWillStab sat across the inn with a pint of beer.

“JohnWillStab: But then it wouldn’t be a fair game!” he exclaimed, gesturing to XxFoxlyxX who stood on the opposite side of the table, also unable to see anything.

John was petting arachnophobia who sat on his lap, happily sleeping.

“XxFoxlyxX: You know, guys. At first, I was having some doubts, but now I can confidently say this was a stupid idea, I have no idea if I’m winning or not…”

XxFoxlyxX’s scarecrow was resting against a nearby wall with a tankard of ale placed in its hand, it seemingly lost all life ever since they left the dungeon.

Bonifacius and JohnWillStab shot them both a thumbs up in unison.

“JohnWillStab: You’re doing great!”

“Bonifacius: Thou are doing great!”

Crown cringed.

“♛: That was… unsettling…” she remarked through squinted eyes.

Bonifacius gulped down a tankard of ale and cheered.

“Bonifacius: Let us hope that was the last strange thing to happen tonight!” he exclaimed.

Foxly turned towards Bonifacius, not that Bonifacius could see him over the table.

“XxFoxlyxX: Don’t jinx us, man…” he said with a wry expression.

Meanwhile, Alexander stood in the glistening azure forest where he banned his last player.

His heart was pounding.

Knowing it was the perfect chance to launch his game.

Only a fraction of the normal player base was online at this hour, Alexander hit the big, blue button resting on his desk, it was connected to his computer with a wire which did the thing he yearned to do all this time.

The button was responsible for launching his game, it was absolutely unnecessary, but really cool nevertheless.

And so, everyone got disconnected from the game as all the game data, player data, spells, maps, pets, friend-lists and every other entity in the world John and the other enjoyed got deleted.