John could swear he saw the NPC guards grinning as his body looked up to the endless, cloudy sky above.

After what must have been no more than ten seconds, Bonifacius appeared, slowly approaching JohnWillStab’s body.

“Bonifacius: Are’th tou’th ok’th?“

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: NO! I’M FU#$ING NOT! NOW I’LL HAVE TO CORPSE-WALK OUT OF THE TOWN AGAIN!“

Bonifacius finally reached John’s dead body before he knelt down beside it.

“Bonifacius: Thou’th have’th my’th appology’th, undead’th!”

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: WHY ARE YOU ADDING TH TO THE END OF EVERY WORD?!“

Bonifacius shot John’s corpse a thumbs-up.

“Bonifacius: Tis’th because’th I’th am’th roleplaying’th!”

“What kind of name is that?! How do I say it?! Bone-Niff-Ick-Us?”

“I think it’s Boneniffickus…”

If John’s body could still move it’d roll into a ball of despair.

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: I… I don’t understand anything you just said!”

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: PLEASE SPEAK ENGLISH!” he pleaded.

“Bonifacius: In’th any’th case’th…” he began.

“Bonifacius: It’th would’th seem’th I’th owe’th thee’th an’th apology’th, I’th did’th not’th expect’th a’th low-level’th player’th to’th be’th lurking’th around’th these’th parts’th!“ he continued.

JohnWillStab breathed a sigh.

“He doesn’t seem like an asshole…” he thought.

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: Don’t worry about it…” he said listlessly.

Just as JohnWillStab was about to begrudgingly attempt the journey back his corpse was picked up by the man who killed him.

“Bonifacius: Fear’th not’th! I’th shall’th bring’th thee’th to’th safety’th!” he exclaimed, with John’s limp body over his over-sized shoulder.

John was speechless, twenty minutes of his life would have been wasted if not for this stranger.

In mere moments JohnWillStab was a safe distance away from the town, as such he respawned at his corpse’s new location.

“JohnWillStab: Thanks a lot, man! It would have taken me ages to escape that place!” he was filled with an incomparable feeling of relief.

Bonifacius shook his head.

“Bonifacius: Do’th not’th mention’th it’th, twas’th my’th fault’th for’th attacking’th thee’th!”

“JohnWillStab: Sorry about getting so worked up earlier, I’m a bit… lost…” he admitted.

Bonifacius nodded understandingly.

“Bonifacius: I’th see, not’th only’th are’th thou’th a’th low’th level’th, thou’th are’th also’th new’th to’th this’th game’th!”

JohnWillStab automatically filtered the “th”s out of Bonifacius’ messages at this point, though they were still difficult to read.

“JohnWillStab: Yeah. but it looks like the undead is a crappy race, everyone kills me on sight…”

“Bonifacius: Tis’th not’th totally’th true’th!” Bonifacius began.

“Bonifacius: Thou’th have’th many’th option’th before’th thou’th!“

“JohnWillStab: Like?”

“Bonifacius: If’th thou’th slay’th dangerous’th creature’th, thy’th reputation’th shall’th increase’th!“

“Bonifacius: The’th same’th can’th be’th said’th for’th completing’th dungeon’th and’th raid’th!“

“Bonifacius: The’th most’th simple’th is’th to’th have’th an’th ally’th pick’th thy’th quest’th up’th and’th return’th them’th as’th a’th party’th!“

JohnWillStab took a second to process the sentences.

“JohnWillStab: Do you keep ‘th’ copied at all times so you can control-v it in after every word?”

“Bonifacius: Aye’th!“

“JohnWillStab: I see…”

At this point, for the sake of your convenience, JohnWillStab actually started filtering the ‘th’s out.

“Bonifacius: If thou like, I could help thou complete some quests around this zone, I am currently completing old content I have never gotten a chance to experience!”

“Just how nice is this guy?” John thought.

“JohnWillStab: Sure, I’ll take any help I can when it comes to learning the basics of this game!” John replied as a wave of relief washed over him.

“Finally, someone with some experience!”

“Bonifacius: Great! If thou have any questions, thou need no hesitate to ask!”

“JohnWillStab: Alright! Why do I need to do the quests anyway?”

“Bonifacius: Thou will gain many rewards for completing quests, from money and items like weapons and armour to important things such as experience-points and reputation points!”

Even a complete novice in terms of MMOs knew how XP worked, you kill monster or do tasks in return for XP, when you get enough of it you level up and get stronger.

“JohnWillStab: Oh, so it’s pretty generic game logic!”

“Bonifacius: Indeed! Thou have nothing to worry about! Tis no more complicated than any other game!” he exclaimed giving JohnWillStab another thumbs-up.

“HE’S TOO NICE! I FEEL BAD FOR BEING MEAN EARLIER!”

“Bonifacius: Alright! I shall go fetch us a quest to get thy level and reputation up!”

“JohnWillStab: Ok!”

And so, Bonifacius headed into the town alone to pick up some low-level quest that both he and JohnWillStab would experience for the first time.

He returned no more than two minutes later.

“Bonifacius: I have returned with thy first quest!“ he announced enthusiastically stepping out from the town.

JohnWillStab was finally getting excited for a taste of some action.

“JohnWillStab: Alright, what do we do?”

“Bonifacius: First, thou must join my party so that I may share the quest!”

Love what you're reading? Discover and support the author on the platform they originally published on.

JohnWillStab nodded.

Before he finished typing out his question of “Alright, how do we do that?” an invitation came.

“Bonifacius invites you to their party, accept?”

Below were two buttons, “Accept” and “Decline”.

John clicked accept.

In the top left, below his health-bar appeared Bonifacius’ health-bar as well as his stamina bar.

That’s when he noticed something quite significant.

Beside his name was a number that John couldn’t see until he joined Bonifacius’ party.

The number was one-hundred.

“JohnWillStab: What does the number next to your name mean?” he asked.

“Bonifacius: Tis simply my level, thy level is located in the place near thy character’s name!” he explained.

JohnWillStab looked up and saw the lonely number one by his name.

That’s when John’s mind connected the dots.

“JohnWillStab: HOLD ON, YOU’RE LEVEL 100?!”

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: Indeed! I have already reached the maximum level and complete all the deadly raids and dungeons available long ago!”

“Bonifacius: Now I wish to experience the simple story and landscapes of this world that I spend so long in!” he explained.

“JohnWillStab: So that’s what you’re doing in the low-level zone,” he remarked.

Once again, Bonifacius nodded.

His character took in a mighty breath, before he exclaimed: “Bonifacius: Now, let’s make haste, friend! We have boars to slay!”

“JohnWillStab: Hell yeah!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“JohnWillStab: Hold on, what?”

Bonifacius proceeded to type out the shortened version of the quest-text.

“Bonifacius: Due to the tragic curse that rests upon this land the plants and animals became twisted!”

“Bonifacius: What were once farms of regular pigs became ruins releasing demonic monster-boars to inhabit the wild!”

“Bonifacius: We must travel north to ‘Boar Hill’ where we shall thin-out their ranks!”

“JohnWillStab: …”

“JohnWillStab: So… we’re fighting pigs?”

“Bonifacius: Indeed!”

John breathed a sigh, he was ready to see some real action, not kill pigs.

“JohnWillStab: Isn’t there another quest we could do?”

“Bonifacius: There is a level seven demon-spider slaying quest!” Bonifacius offered.

“JohnWillStab: BOARS IT IS!”

The combination of the words “level seven” and “demon-spider” successfully convinced John to go and slay some swine instead.

The group headed north along the cobblestone road, the old, moss-covered fences occasionally stretched along the side of the road for a few meters before falling back into disarray.

The tall, grey-barked and grey-green-leaved trees stood all around them; the tall, bushy grass waved in the wind as the nearby bushes were disturbed by some sort of unknown beast.

To their side was a relatively steep slope down into even denser woods with small patches of seemingly disappearing mushrooms, to their right was a relatively steep slope going up to the ruins of an old, walled-off town haunted by the spirits of its people.

Every few meters an old, flickering lamp would stand as the only beacon of light in the gloomy abyss.

“Bonifacius: Tis quite the atmospheric zone!”

“JohnWillStab: Yeah, looks like a scene from a horror movie…” John remarked.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, though the bleak appearance allows for a big reservoir of serenity thou would struggle to find in other zones!”

“JohnWillStab: Your positivity terrifies me…”

“Bonifacius: My apologies! That was not my intent!”

“JohnWillStab: I was just joking,”

“JohnWillStab: You mentioned other zones?”

Bonifacius nodded.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, we find ourselves in Arlepia, one of the three continents making up the surface of this world!”

“Bonifacius: Specifically, we are located in Grimwood!”

“JohnWillStab: Fitting name…”

“Bonifacius: Indeed, tis merely one of dozens of zones around the world! From snow-covered mountains to deserts and more!”

“JohnWillStab: Cool, I was starting to get worried this was all there was!” he laughed.

He learned to play emotes by observing Bonifacius.

Soon they reached a spot with a clearing in the thick canopy allowing John to see the large hill that poke out from the distant trees like a pimple on this planet’s ass.

“JohnWillStab: Is that it?” he asked.

“Bonifacius: Indeed, the infamous boar-hill, thou should get ready, for the sake of thou obtaining the maximum experience points, I shall stay out of the fight unless thou are near death!” Bonifacius explained.

John shrugged.

“JohnWillStab: They’re just pigs” he said dismissively.

Approximately five minutes later JohnWillStab was being chased around the large boar-infested hill with a pack of swine screeching their battle cries.

“JohnWillStab: THESE ARE NOT NORMAL PIGS!” he cried as from behind, the demon-boar closest to him used a charge ability to close the distance between itself and John’s spine, sending the unsuspecting JohnWillStab flying with a disturbing crunch.

Mid-air, JohnWillStab looked at his health bar seeing that it was at around the fifty-percent mark.

The boars were black in colour with long, curved tusk the tips of which were engulfed in bright green lights that spread out around their bodies in pulsating vain patters.

“Bonifacius: Thou can do it! I believe in thee!”

Bonifacius played the cheering emote as John continued being assaulted by more boars.

Feeling tired of running, JohnWillStab turned to face his opponents.

With a sudden burst of skills nobody expected, the kind one could only obtain after many years of mastering the art of combat, the boars shattered John’s spine in a single blow, killing him instantly.

“Luck stat decreased from -1 to -2!”

“FUCK YOU TOO, GAME!”

Five minutes later, JohnWillStab respawned with a lust for swine blood.

He charged at another pack of pigs, spamming the [Slash] skill he started with, he slashed at the swine that quickly surrounded him, knocking him from side to side.

“Bonifacius: Thou must limit thy scope to one enemy at a time, a dagger class such as thyself specialises in quick bursts of damage on individual targets!”

Before JohnWillStab even finished reading the message, Bonifacius used [Heroic Charge] to practically launch himself at one of the five demonic pigs surrounding John.

With his shield before him, Bonifacius ploughed through the three foes standing in his path as they got reduced to red goop and meaty chunks.

“JohnWillStab: ALRIGHT!”

JohnWillStab focused on one foe, a pig with only fifty-percent health.

He took a deep breath in real life as he executed the legendary “Parkinson’s tap” allowing him to absolutely smash the “1” key on his keyboard, it didn’t do much since the spell was on a half-second cooldown, but he felt pretty cool.

“Bonifacius: While the stab ability may be strong, thou should use thy other starter spell too! That way, by the time thy first skill is ready, the others are on cooldowns and vice versa!”

With no time to respond John simply did as advised, he was now smashing both the “1” and “2” keys on his poor, innocent keyboard.

Slash, kick, slash, slash, kick and slash.

The first pig finally fell to the ground covered in scars and cuts.

With not just bloodlust but also a lust for retribution, the second swine let out a mighty cry as it cast the charge ability, smashing its bulky body into John and sending him flying with a fraction of his health.

“JohnWillStab: F#$K!” he exclaimed as his character flew directly into a tree, leaving a red stain upon its bark as he slowly peeled off and landed on the ground, laying in a ragdoll state.

After about a second on the floor, his character got back onto their feet, daggers in hand.

“Bonifacius: Thou are doing fine! If thou can avoid getting hurt for a few seconds, thy health will regenerate!”

“Bonifacius: Thou should focus on dodging the foe’s attacks in the mean time!”

Bonifacius stood with folded arms atop a pile of gore as he casually observed JohnWillStab get charged by a demon pig.

“JohnWillStab: Ok!”

While trying to move to the side, John accidentally tapped the “A” key twice causing his character to roll to the side instead of walking.

“Woah!”

Again, the boar charged at him.

John turned to face the beast, double-tapping “D” just in time to miss the boar as it sped past him and into a nearby tree.

The impact its head made on the bark was quite severe, so much so the tree actually collapsed and JohnWillStab received a notification in the chat.

“Woodcutting skill increased from 0 to 1!”

The pig let out another screech as it turned to face the makeshift-matador.

It broke into a desperate sprint, JohnWillStab smashed the space bar, launching his character into the air, then he double tapped the “W” key.

To Bonifacius as well as the boar it looked as if JohnWillStab jumped over the boar doing a flip in the process.

“Athletics stat increased from 1 to 2!”

“Actually making some progress!” he thought.

That was the moment John flew just a little too close to the sun with his wings of wax as before he landed, the boar turned right around and began charging at him.

Before he even hit the ground and regained his ability to dodge, the boar smashed into him, sending him flying across the hill and into a pack of boars.

His body fell directly onto the back of one of them.

They might have attacked him if not for the fact John was already dead, instead the boar he landed on paraded his double-lifeless corpse like a trophy.

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: …”

“(Dead)JohnWillStab: This is going to be a long quest…”

“Bonifacius: Do not lose hope, friend!”

As John predicted, it was a long quest.

After JohnWillStab defeated ten boars, they headed back, Bonifacius entered the town himself while John waited outside.

Out of nowhere, JohnWillStab erupted into golden light as a notification appeared in the chat.

“You just reached level 2! Some of your stats may have increased and new spells might have been unlocked!”

“Click ‘I’ to see your stats, level and experience as well as reputation!”

“So, I don’t actually have to keep track of my stats, good.”

He opened the character-information menu by clicking the “I” key and was met with a wall of text.

John could see a dropdown menu with different types of stats, “Base Stats”, “Professions”, ”Reputation” and “Other”.

He selected the first one.

“Base stats…”

“Strength: 2”

“Athletics: 3”

“Dexterity: 1”

“Magic: 1”

“Intelligence: 1”

“Luck: 0”

“Stamina: 1”

“Perception: 1”

“Charisma: 1”

“Weapon Skills: 1”

“Looks like the level-up upped my stats a good bit, even my luck is back to zero instead of being negative…”

After looking down, JohnWillStab saw a new ability, [Gut Punch].