Novels2Search
Big Damn Heroes
Chapter 17 - A Private Moment

Chapter 17 - A Private Moment

Sarah was lost in thought for a while, thinking about Bear and his need for the truth, about her day at the salon, and about how she felt about everything in general. She still had a lot of things about herself she needed to find out, before she could comfortably move forward with her life… Some obvious, and some not so obvious. Sarah had to admit to herself she really liked the crew of the Fortune’s Favour… Hortencia was fast becoming a good friend, and Drago and Herc were always good for a laugh. Bear… Sarah wasn’t sure how to label Bear, but she knew she liked him too. He seemed lost in darkness so often, she thought. Maybe he just needs someone to show him it isn’t all doom and gloom?

Still, I’m not one to talk, she thought. I wake from cryo less just over two weeks ago, and I’ve lost everyone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with, on Europa. It’s hard to switch tracks so quickly – from heading to a new colony to joining a crew of spacers in the far flung future, she thought. I guess I’m a survivor. Now all I need to know is if I can be a warrior too.

Sarah wondered what she wanted for her life… She wanted more than the Fortune’s Favor, she knew that much. If we’re going to fly all over known space, I’d like to do it in style, she thought. Maybe with a bigger, better ship. As far as she knew, Bear was attached to the idea of his freedom, of being free to move on – but it was possible he wasn’t attached to the ship itself? She ship felt too small and too crowded for it to be a “forever” ship, but it was a good start. Sarah wondered how she could afford to wrangle it – and realized at the moment, it was a pipe dream. Ships were too expensive, and unless she did extraordinarily well in trading, a new ship would remain out of her reach for some time.

She also realized she didn’t want to remain ‘just the merchant’ for long. She had always been a go getter, and a take charge person – and none of the rest of the crew seemed that way to her. Even Bear seemed to fall into the role of captain simply because the ship was his. She wondered what she could do with more responsibility. Again, it was too early to make any decisions, but she resolved to make herself indispensable to the ship, and see what happened naturally.

And what about me, she wondered. What do I want, for me? She remembered her crush on both Katie and Dillon, and the dream she had only the night before. Sarah knew she had had feelings for both of them – Katie and Dillon both. So I guess I’m bisexual, she thought. But what do I do about it? Sarah knew she was lonely – she had been lonely for years before the Hyperion mission, and that hadn’t changed since waking up from Cryo. She longed for companionship – but she didn’t know what kind, or whom.

She fretted over it for a while, before her eyes wandered to the VR console by her terminal. Why not? She wondered. Would it be so wrong? Unsure of how to answer, she fretted some more. It still felt a little wrong to engage in VR sex to her – but obviously, people in this century had few if any hangups about it. Maybe she was just being weird?

Either way, she was more than a little tired from all her thinking, and decided she’d better go eat. By the time she reached the common room, Hortencia and Drago were long gone, and she discovered the room was all to herself. She had felt the ship leap into Jump space and seen the lights dim some time ago, while she was fretting in her room – so Bear was probably asleep by now. She prepared a meal, and sat quietly, eating. She didn’t really pay attention to what it was – she was distracted by her thoughts. When she was finished, she recycled the rest and headed to bed.

* * *

Sarah rolled to one side, dodging a wicked slash from her opponent at the last second, and got back to her feet. All around her was chaos, as men and some few women fought blade to blade over the fate of the Airship called the Wraith. She drew her second to last pistol and took aim – her assailant, with nowhere left to run nor hide, charged her screaming. With a bang, her pistol fired enveloping her in a cloud of gunsmoke – and the man screamed where the large lead pistol ball shattered his shoulder. While he was stunned, Sarah ran him through with her sword.

Thank god my swordplay lessons have been well learnt, she thought. Otherwise, I’d be dead now – at least in the sim. Her momentary distraction was ill advised, as two more enemy sailors from the Kharnathi pirate ship charged up the stairs from the main deck towards her. She could see the crew of the Wraith was fighting valiantly – but had little time for anything else as the new threats began to menace her.

“Run her through and be done wit’ her!” One of the Karnathi sailors yelled, as they both moved forward, their cutlasses held at the ready.

Oh shit! Sarah thought. I can’t stop both of them! She looked for a way out – and saw a rope dangling near where she stood… Why the hell not, she thought. It’s in genre! “Sorry boys – I can’t stay to play!” She called, and climbed up on the short railing around the top deck and leapt for the rope. They rushed her, but missed and she swung across the Wraiths’ main deck towards the forecastle of the ship. Giggling madly at her narrow escape, she saw she was angling towards a large melee with a half dozen pirates all fighting Bear at once, and the trajectory of her rope swing was going to land her in the middle of the melee!

“No No No!” she muttered, and then “Shit!” as she landed smack dab in the middle of the melee, right next to Bear.

“Glad you decided to join me!” Bear laughed, slashing and cutting one of the enemy sailors down with his blade. “I was beginning to think you’d sit this one out.”

“Wouldn’t think of it.” Sarah grunted, trying to dodge one incoming attack, while parrying another. “You take me to the nicest places.”

Bear laughed, and cut down one more enemy pirate, leaving only two each for them to deal with. “At least we’re doing something fun!”

Sarah lunged, and took one of the pirates facing her in the chest, sinking her blade deep into him… it took a firm yank to pull it out, and she only barely caught the swing of the second pirate on her blade in a last moment parry. “Nearly getting stabbed is fun?”

“Da! Nearly is fun.” Bear laughed, and grabbed one of the pirates by his collar, hoisted him into the air, and threw him off the deck of the airship. The pirate’s screams echoed for quite a while as he fell. “Actually getting stabbed is less fun.”

A quick glance told Sarah the battle was winding down – there were only a handful of Kharnathi pirates remaining on the deck, and the crew of the Wraith had not only boarded the enemy airship, but were close to seizing her! There were only four pirates left on the Wraith – two fighting with Bear and Sarah, and two near the aft of the ship, now rapidly approaching.

“Hold still, you bleedin wench!” One of the Kharnathi pirates yelled, as he tried to swing at Sarah with his cutlass, missing only by an inch or two.

Sarah gulped as the two pirates pressed her fiercely – she was decent with a blade from her sim training, but she hadn’t trained in dealing with multiple opponents yet and she was hard set to defend herself. Her cutlass lashed left, then right, trying to parry the attacking pirates slashes and thrusts. Finally, she had an opening, and lunged, taking one of the pirates in the stomach! He screamed and dropped, clutching his innards as they spilled from his belly.

The last pirate lunged, and Sarah yelled in pain as she felt the hot sting of steel stab her in the upper arm on her left side. Hot blood flowed down her arm, soaking her shirt, and rendering her arm mostly useless as she groaned in pain.

Sarah held her arm close to her body as best she could, and lashed out at the last pirate, and screamed in triumph as her wild slash took his hand off at the wrist, disarming him in the process. The Kharnathi pirate screamed in pain and clutched his savaged wrist, as blood fountained from the wound… In seconds, he blacked out.

As Sarah took a moment to rest and take in what had happened, she heard a great cheer! The crew of the Wraith had taken the enemy ship! She looked over at Bear, and although he was covered in a half dozen nicks and cuts, he didn’t have any serious wounds and had finished off his two pirates as well.

Bear took note of her injury, and tore off a piece of his shirt, leaving his arm bare. “Are you okay, Sarah?” He asked, tenderly. “It is more fun when you don’t get stabbed.” He gently tied the shirt around her wound as a makeshift bandage for the moment.

“Yeah. It hurts, but I’m okay. It feels like a real wound.” Sarah replied, sounding quite surprised.

“Da. It does, but it will not hurt when you return to your body when we log out. The memory of the wound will stay, but the wound will be gone. I am sorry you got hurt.” Bear did look very concerned.

“I could see getting some pretty serious PTSD from this if I’m not careful.” She replied, sort of joking, sort of not joking.

Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.

“Da. It can be problem, Sarah. Maybe next time we do something safer?”

“We’ll talk, Bear. I kind of like this Sim.”

“Okay. I will see to enemy ship. You should sit down – you look pale. Rest a moment.” Bear replied, more than a little concerned. “I should see to the crew.”

“I think that’s a good idea!” Sarah found a railing, and sat, resting. The burning pain in her arm felt absolutely real – it was amazing. She could feel herself panting for breath from her exertions, and could feel the fatigue of battle burning in her arms, legs and torso. I think I comported myself pretty well, considering I’m a relative novice with sword fighting, she thought. Damn, Bear is good. These sims have to be great training devices!

She watched Bear tend to the rest of the crew of the Wraith – there were no enemy survivors; as pirates, their fate would be death no matter the cause, so they had fought to the bitter end. Five of the Wraith’s crew were seriously injured, and five more had died, leaving the airship undermanned. She wondered what Bear intended to do with the enemy ship. Her questions weren’t long in being answered… He finished with the crew, and returned to her side.

“Do you think you’re ready to take command?” Bear asked.

“Of the enemy ship? I have no idea.” Sarah replied. “I think so.”

“Good. Capturing an Airship is a rare feat and they are worth a lot of coin. If we can sail it back to a friendly port we’ll get a significant reward – significant enough for me to risk us splitting up. Are you up for it? We’re three days away from the nearest allied port.”

“I think I can manage it, if we avoid any more fights.” Sarah said, standing up. “How good is capturing an airship?”

“Well, we have the option of giving it to the Aundarian Navy and making a LOT of money for its prize value, or we have the option of keeping it ourselves, and building a small fleet of ships – with me the captain of the Wraith, and you the captain of whatever we name your ship. We get new complements of sailors, and we continue on. Frankly, this seems like a major milestone in the game to me.” Bear said. “I’m not sure which way to progress.”

Sarah thought about it for a moment. “Then why don’t we sail it back to port, replenish your crew, and decide once we get there. We have three days to think about it.”

Bear nodded in agreement. “I am inclined to keep it, and have a small fleet – but it will mean we are spending less time together, and I will not be able to train you as well.”

Sarah thought about that, and realized Bear was right. In a sim like this, it would be better to stick together so she could continue her training. She might not be ready to be a full time captain yet… “Maybe we should sell it then, and have me stay here until I’m better trained. I want a ship too – but I don’t think I’m ready to be a full time captain. The funds you get from the prize money of the ship should be worth a fair bit too, right?”

“Da. It will be a considerable sum.” Bear replied.

“Then let’s do that, if it’s okay with you? I don’t think I’m ready to captain a ship alone yet.” Sarah said.

“Okay.” Bear held out his huge hand, an offering for Sarah to take. “Let’s get the ship back to port, and we’ll call it a night. How does that sound.”

Sarah smiled. “Sounds good to me.”

Sarah took four of the remaining crew of the Wraith as a prize crew, and boarded the enemy vessel – “The Skyhawk” – and began to sail back towards the nearest friendly port. The Wraith stayed close, accompanying the captured vessel, and soon the two ships were able to see the safe port of Thaliost – a city in the kingdom of Thrane, an ally of Aundair’s at the moment. They sailed to the skyport – a tall structure with docks for airships, and began the long process of claiming the Skyhawk as a prize vessel. A short while later, Sarah logged out.

Damn, that was intense! she thought. I felt like I was really stabbed! She looked at her arm to double check for an injury, and was honestly surprised to find none, and was surprised she could no longer feel the pain of her wounded arm. It was a bizarre sensory shift that left her feeling a little odd, actually. “I’m glad I’m not hurt,” she muttered, “But man is this weird.”

Disconnecting herself from the VR unit, she sighed, and stretched her sore, stiff muscles. Sims were really fun – but spending eight hours in a chair unmoving was more than a little tiring when one was finished. Only the illusion of the sim itself concealed the muscle fatigue of sitting or reclining so long.

Sarah smiled to herself. New millennia, new addictions, she thought. The drugs change but people stay the same. I wonder if Bear would ever try this stuff in real life? The thought of Bear wearing a silly pirate’s outfit and wielding a cutlass while pirates in combat battledress while wielding Advanced Combat Rifles, stormed the Fortune’s Favor made her laugh out loud. “Knowing Bear, he’d take more than a few with him.” She muttered under her breath. I wonder just how many skills he’s trained in over the years, for his final trip back to Burston? She realized she didn’t like thinking about that – about Bear dying and being gone. It bothered her he was willing to die for answers – but isn’t that what any true explorer or scholar would do? She asked herself. Why does it seem different with Bear’s quest?

Sarah felt her stomach growl, and realized she’d gamed through dinner – as probably had Bear. I’m going to go get something to eat. She thought.

In the common room, Bear was already cooking a meal when she arrived, and Herc was sleeping on the couch in the common room near the Vid Screen again, meaning Hortencia and Drago were probably sharing “private time” again – it was pretty much the only time Herc left Drago’s side unless he was napping or playing.

“Hey Bear.” Sarah said. “I’m enjoying the Sky Pirates of Aundair.”

Bear turned and smiled. “I am glad. I need to teach you more sword play though – then maybe you will get stabbed less.”

Sarah blushed, and was frustrated at her reaction. “I shouldn’t be embarrassed, really.” She said. “I’ve never been in a real sword fight before. I did okay, I think.”

“I agree...” Bear began, “But I think you need more skill if you want to see the final part of the game. This series is famous for epic sky battles, and I’m sure there will be a big fleet encounter as the final battle against Kharnath. We both need to make sure our skills can compete, or we won’t get to see the end.”

“How does death work in a sim, Bear? Do you just respawn and keep playing, or is it like the old Rogue-likes back on Old Terra, where death was permanent?”

Bear thought a moment. “It is different in each sim. Some let you respawn – usually single player games let you do this – or games with save points. Tonight, with capturing the Skyhawk, I think we reached a save point. Some games are less forgiving – and if you fail, depending on how you did, the game extrapolates a possible ending ‘without you’ and you see the final events play out – but can’t change anything. Sort of like a cutscene of what happened without you. It can be very emotional, seeing characters you have grown to love and cherish, die or suffer because you weren’t able to save them. There are also times where you have done so much in the game that even though you died, your accomplishments allowed your allies to still succeed and win. It is a type of victory, and it can be quite emotional as well.”

“For example,” he continued. “If I died, normally the game would switch to the end of game cutscene where I see how I influenced the war between Aundair and Kharnath – but since you are playing too, it would probably switch to you being the Captain of the Wraith and you would either have to continue on without me, or I would have to make a new, low level character and begin all over – as a junior officer or midshipman.”

Sarah chuckled. “So you’d go from having the good gear and a cool ship to having starter gear and a new avatar?”

“Da. It is not so odd. I have been killed in some games a half dozen of times, before a character I was playing survived the hard spots and thrived. Some of them I really enjoyed, and were different. I have played non-humans, fantasy races, men, women, children – it is all good in sims. Just another aspect of make believe.”

“So you’ve played female characters before?” Sarah asked, a little surprised.

“Da, twice. Once in a fantasy adventure RPG, and once in a action packed spy adventure. The fantasy game was fun and well written, and it was a big learning experience to play a Priestess in that game. The spy adventure was fun too, and full of action – but I felt it lacked something. There was so much action, and so much danger there was little time to see what the character really felt like – it was always moving from scene to scene, dodging bullets and gunmen and explosions. I felt like I had action fatigue by the time the game was over. I think I spent two weeks playing a simple camping sim for peace and quiet after that game.”

“Was it weird?”

“I don’t know? It was different, maybe? You have to realize that children on many planets grow up with these sims as toys, starting from young age. They explore their identity a lot, making new avatars and new games and learn who they are perhaps sooner than your people might have. Some children gravitate to one gender – others another – while some feel more comfortable alternating between them as the mood takes them. Some people feel fine as their physical gender, but prefer to play as a different gender, simply for the fun of it. I have played all manner of creatures – from a sentient whale with telekinesis to a gaseous creature that floated between the planets in an imaginary star system, eating stardust. It is all a matter of perspective. I have learned people come in all shapes and sizes, and all of us look different – but we all want the same things. People to love us, shelter and food, and a safe place to raise a family. At the core of it, sims taught me that no matter what you look like, you are a person. You have value, no matter your gender or race or age or skin color. It is what rests inside here,” He said, tapping his temple, and then his heart. “That matters.”

Sarah tried to comprehend what Bear was telling her. Maybe people weren’t completely the same as they used to be, she thought. Maybe this is a situation where technology can really bring people together? “Wise words, I think, Bear.” She replied. Sarah didn’t know what else to say, so she grabbed a meal from the fridge, and started preparing it. This one was a Kian and root vegetable pot pie that looked a lot like what she would call Chicken pot pie. If I recall, isn’t Kian that emu like bird that people use for meat and as riding mounts? She asked herself. Sarah couldn’t fully remember exactly what a Kian was – but she did remember it tasted a lot like Terran turkey.

“How much longer until we reach Burston?” She asked.

Bear grimaced. “Three days.”

“Nervous?”

“Does it show that bad?” Bear asked.

“No – you just seem a bit off balance.” Sarah replied. “I was just worried you were stressing about it.”

“I am, a bit.” Bear answered honestly. “I am also feeling a bit ashamed it has been eight years since I visited my Babushka – my grandmother – and I feel I could have been a better grandson. I hope she will forgive me.”

“I’m sure she will, if she loves you.” Sarah replied. “She must know how hurt you were when you left.”

“Da, she does – but it still stings, how long I have been gone. I am glad you said you would come with me. I would like you to meet her. She is a strong woman.”

Sarah smiled. “I’d like to meet her too.” I just hope it’s not the kind of a ‘take your date to meet your parents’ sort of thing, she thought. “I still intend to be there for you.”

“Thanks.” Bear replied, smiling. “It means a lot.”

Sarah and Bear sat down to eat, and ate quietly, enjoying each others company in silence.