With the ringing of the bell came the usual flurry of end-of-class activity. Papers and books being hastily shoved into backpacks, chairs scraping across linoleum, and hurried farewells and “see you laters” as students scrambled for the exit, rushing to make it to their next destination before the bell rang again.

“Have a good day, everyone. See you all on Wednesday.” Kyle was pretty sure half the kids didn’t hear him, but those that did at least nodded in acknowledgement, and some even managed to return the sentiment.

“Tomorrow after school for help with that paper?” one boy, Tim, called as he passed Kyle’s desk.

“I’ll be here.” It was actually Kyle’s detention day, but as there were – once again – no takers, he used it as office hours for anyone that needed extra help. Ryka would grumble about it, but really, Kyle did like his job.

Although after a full morning, the upcoming study period would be a nice break. Even though he said he’d be happy to have a class for study, he hadn’t been assigned one in years. There was no need to ask why. And no point in dwelling on it. At least the extra free period would give him a chance to refill his coffee. Or so he thought.

One of the desks wasn’t empty, and he didn’t need more than a quick glance to know who had lingered. “How are you doing, Mandy?” he asked, closing the door before dropping back into his seat.

The girl just shrugged, but Kyle could see her shoulders shaking. She was staring intently at her desk, both arms crossed over her stomach. Usually, she was a force of nature – the vibrant center of her group of friends, and one of the students he most looked forward to teaching. She was always eager to participate, forever willing to help out her classmates and just a generally good human being.

All the staff loved her. Kyle thought maybe he appreciated her even more than his colleagues. Because she wasn’t afraid of him. She had no reason to be. And Kyle knew that was a sure thing - Ryka pissed and moaned about her pure soul nearly every time he saw her.

So it was probably thanks to Mandy that more students acted normally around him. Because she interacted with him like he was any other teacher, her classmates did, too. But today she couldn’t even bring herself to lift her gaze to meet his.

Kyle had been told why she wasn’t acting like herself. Mandy’s grandmother had passed away two weeks earlier, and both her and her older brother, Matt, had been out since. This was her first day back to school. And she clearly hadn’t been ready.

“Do you want to go home?” Kyle gently inquired. When Mandy shook her head, he offered another alternative. “Go to the nurse?” Another unspoken “no.” “Well, what do you have after study?”

“Lunch,” she mumbled, sniffling afterward.

This was going to elicit some complaining, but too bad. “In that case, you’re welcome to stay here for a while.”

“Thanks.” Mandy still hadn’t looked up, and practically jumped out of her seat when Kyle set a box of tissues down on her desk. He hoped it was because she just hadn’t been paying attention, but he knew better. Even she couldn’t forget about Ryka, no matter how much she usually acted like she did.

Generally, that could have been a good thing. It kept the kids on their best behavior, and made their school the safest around. He may not have liked how they had gotten there, but working in a school without bullying or violence really was worth it. Sure, the kids still got up to teenage mischief, but it was rarely anything serious. Nothing Ryka usually felt the need to involve himself in.

It was times like these, though, he wished things were different. That the kids didn’t worry about angering his passenger. That he could approach them to chat without them thinking their souls were at stake. That he could offer comfort without making things worse - scaring them because they’d wind up subject to Ryka’s attention.

So he did the best he could, returning to his own desk and giving her the time and space she needed to calm herself. Kyle focused on grading, glancing up occasionally to check on Mandy. He’d only made it through a few assignments when he looked up to see that she had crossed her arms on her desk and rested her head down on them. Even without Ryka’s help, he could hear her slow, even breathing.

“Lights, please,” he whispered. There was no reply, but all the fluorescents, save those over his desk, flickered off.

It was close to an hour before Mandy stirred, coming awake slowly, and obviously confused about where she was. Blinking, she looked around the room, her gaze finally settling on Kyle. “Mr. S.?”

“Feeling any better?” he asked, pushing aside the paper he’d been correcting.

“A little. Sorry. I didn’t mean-”

“No need to apologize.” To Ryka, he added, “Can you turn the lights back on?” The demon grumbled, but did as he was asked, and the room was once again bathed in miserable fluorescent light. Now Mandy was staring at him wide-eyed. “May as well put him to work,” Kyle said with a smirk, hoping to put her at ease. Though he suspected that was a pointless endeavor.

Still, she offered a nervous half-smile. At least it didn’t look like she was going to bolt for the door. Since she didn’t seem too abjectly terrified, Kyle decided to attempt conversation.

“I’m sorry about your grandmother, Mandy. I’m sure this has been a tough couple weeks.”

She nodded, eyes glistening with new tears. “Thanks. Yeah.”

Not the best start, Kyle thought. He wasn’t good at this, demon or no. But she was still looking at him, and since silence was awkward, he tried, “You were close with her, right?”

Mandy nodded, studying her desk and chewing on her lower lip. Kyle worried he had made a mistake, but suddenly she was looking back up at him. “Me and Matt spent most of our summers with her and Grampa. And when our parents were going through the divorce, she had us over all the time.”

“It’s nice to have family that takes care of you like that, isn’t it?” He thought back to his own childhood, and the people that had been there for him in place of his absentee father.

“What about you? What were … are you grandparents like?”

“Were. I only knew my mom’s parents. My grandfather passed when I was still little, so I don’t remember much about him. My grandma died when I was ten, but she watched me and my cousin when we were little, and took us on day trips to give our moms a break.”

Chris had grown up without a father as well, but his had been taken by illness. Kyle’s had made the choice to leave his family behind, though Kyle had been so young when it happened he didn’t even have recollections of the man.

This wasn’t something he ever talked about. Even Ryka’d had to go hunting for those memories. Though the demon wasn’t inclined to bring up the past - he didn’t want to have to do the same.

But it only seemed fair for Kyle to offer something about himself. And he braced himself, knowing that question was coming next. “What about your Dad?”

Kyle shrugged. “He didn’t want to be one, so he left. My mom, aunt and grandma raised me and my cousin. We all lived on the same street, my aunt and cousin next door. So I never knew my paternal grandparents – they didn’t bother with us, either.” It hadn’t been discussed much, but he knew there had been some ridiculous drama surrounding his parents’ marriage. Disapproval, he assumed, made worse by the arrival of a baby.

“I’m sorry,” Mandy said quickly.

“Don’t be. For any reason.”

Amazingly, that worked, and the conversation in general seemed to be helping. “Okay.”

“What’s your favorite memory of her?” Kyle asked.

At that, Mandy smiled - genuinely this time. “Her teaching me and my brother to swim. She was a lifeguard when she was a teenager, and her and Grampa lived on a lake. I was scared, but she made it so fun. They used to let us drive their pontoon boat, too. Or pull us around in tubes.” Tears filled her eyes, but she quickly wiped them away, and her smile hadn’t faltered. The happy memories were a balm for the pain of her loss.

“That does sound like fun.”

There was a pause, and Mandy seemed to be working up the courage for another question. “Will I … see her again? In Heaven? I mean, not soon, I’m not … just, later, you know?”

That stunned Kyle. He opened his mouth, but had no idea what to say. But of course she would ask – if anyone had insight into what happened after death, it was him. Or rather, Ryka. Thankfully, he didn’t need to ask out loud.

Unless there’s something I’m missing, I strongly suspect the answer to both is ‘yes.’ I see a disappointingly sin-free future for this one, and have a feeling her grandmother wasn’t secretly a serial killer.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

Even with that assurance, it felt like he was promising too much when he nodded. But he had never seen anyone look so relieved. She brought her hands up to her mouth to hide her smile. He hoped she wasn’t trying to spare his feelings – there was no doubt that everyone knew where he was headed once his contract was up.

This revelation was sure to open a new line of questioning, but Mandy never got the chance to ask, and he was grateful. A sudden knock at the classroom door stopped the conversation.

“Come in,” Kyle called, and both he and Mandy looked up to see the school psychologist, Dr. Warner, poke her head in.

“You are here,” she said, looking at Mandy. “Are you okay?”

A rumble deep in Kyle’s chest made his eyes go wide. She could have worded that better. It made him a bit angry, too, but he chose to ignore the slight. He hoped Ryka would do the same.

“Yeah, Mr. S. let me stay for a while. I wasn’t ready to go to study. Or lunch.”

“I see,” Dr. Warner said, a look of concern on her face. The growl was getting louder. Pretty soon, Ryka would be letting Dr. Warner know exactly how he felt about her.

But he could only imagine how many of his students had wound up in her office over the years, some trying to explain why they were upset without being able to go into detail. Somehow, it was reassuring to think that after the pep rally, they hadn’t needed to tiptoe around it.

“Well, your brother’s looking for you. He’s waiting if you want to come with me.” Not wanting to be in Kyle’s presence any longer than necessary, Dr. Warner stepped back into the hall.

Damn right, bitch. You better leave.

“Yeah.” Mandy gathered up her belongings and started for the door. Before she left, she turned back to face Kyle. “Thanks, Mr. S. That really helped.”

“I’m glad.”

“And I’ll get those assignments in soon, I-”

“Take your time.”

“Thanks again.”

As soon as the door closed behind her, Kyle sighed and put his own head down on his desk. His eyes were stinging, and not from the poor lighting. Maybe this was why he never brought up the past. He didn’t need or want these feelings. It was so much easier when Ryka was the only one he had to worry about.

Because now, he was realizing he hadn’t spoken to his mom or cousin in ages. He had no idea if they were well or not. And he’d been the one to tell them not to bother with him. Sure, it was safer that way, but now there was a worry that he was missing something important. And just missing them.

Ryka whimpered, but said nothing, understanding that his host needed to process his feelings without interruption. Unfortunately, there was still the rest of the school day to get through.

***

Kyle had moved through it in a fog, hardly aware of what he was doing at any given moment, but somehow managing to successfully make it to the final bell. Emotionally exhausted, he drove home only slightly more aware of his surroundings than he had been for the past several hours.

Knowing they wouldn’t do anything to help his preoccupation - but not caring - he downed two beers as soon as he was through the door, then flopped onto the couch and stared balefully at the telephone. He knew what he wanted – needed – to do, but also knew he really shouldn’t. He had done such a good job cutting everyone out of his life. Was it worth backtracking?

Finally, after half an hour of struggling, he made a decision. “Don’t judge me – I’ll have enough of that later,” he warned, getting up and reaching for the receiver. Once again, Ryka kept quiet. Satisfied the demon wasn’t going to stop him, Kyle dialed his mother’s number.

Several rings later, her voicemail picked up. “This is Mary. I’m not home right now, but leave a message and I’ll call you back. God bless.” The final words sent waves of pain through his body, but he persisted, hoping he didn’t sound as awful as he felt as he left a message.

“Just me, Mom. It’s Monday, so I’m guessing you’re at Bingo, but I just wanted to hear your voice. The voicemail message worked, so don’t worry about calling back. I’m doing fine, I promise. Love you.”

With a trembling sigh, he hung up.

Master …. No admonishment, just concern.

“I’m okay,” he said, sure it was a lie. “One more, though.”

This time, he called Chris, who answered after less than two rings. “Kyle? What’s up?”

“Hey. Um, not much, I-”

“Your cousin?” he heard a female voice ask, very close. And in the background, the sounds of a horror movie: screaming and chainsaws.

“Yeah,” Chris explained, obviously turning the phone away to quiet his voice. “Keep watching. I’ll be back.” Kyle heard footsteps, and then a door closing. “Sorry about that.”

“No, I’m sorry. Am I interrupting?”

“Not at all.”

“Are you sure? Because I know you like to – how did you put it? – work your magic during movies. Scary ones especially, right?”

Chris laughed. “Wow, I did say that. How embarrassing. At any rate, the magic worked. Really well. This one hasn’t left in months.”

“You? Settling down? What’s her name?” Although he had demanded that his family cut ties, it still hurt to be out of the loop. He could only imagine how surprised his mom and aunt must have been to hear that his cousin had a live-in girlfriend.

“Ariana. She’s a nurse.”

“Curing you of your promiscuous ways?” Kyle teased.

“That’s it exactly.”

“I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. It’s weird, but really great. And what about you? How’s your love life?” Somehow, Kyle could hear the smirk in his voice.

Ryka had been doing a wonderful job minding his own business, but now Kyle felt the weight of his attention. Given that Chris had been the one to point out Ryka’s feelings to him, this was going to be an easy admission. “Also weird, but really great. Certainly not what I had ever been expecting, but it works. We’re both happy.”

“So, what you’re saying is … what?”

“You were right,” Kyle told him, amazed he could even hear Chris over Ryka’s purring.

“Was I?” From his tone, it was obvious Chris wasn’t at all surprised.

“No need to be so smug about it. But yes, you were. He told me that same night you mentioned it, actually.”

Chris knew him too well. “And how long before you realized you felt the same way?”

“A few months,” Kyle admitted.

“That must have been awkward.”

That elicited a laugh from Ryka, which Kyle ignored. “I’m starting to forget why I wanted to talk to you.”

Now Chris was the one laughing, though he stopped abruptly. “I am pretty surprised you called. Everything okay? You said you two were happy, so it can’t be your marriage on the rocks. Congrats, by the way, on your - what would you call it? - unholy matrimony.” He may not have been meaning to, but Chris was certainly putting himself on Ryka’s good side. At least based on the fact the demon’s purr jumped an octave when Chris referred to them as married.

“That’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. Thanks, though , I guess. But we’re fine. It’s just … it was a long day at school, and I needed to hear a familiar voice.”

“Well, glad I could be that voice. Did you call your mom?”

“I left a message. Which is probably better. For both of us.” Even still, his stomach knotted up.

“Does she still call you?”

“Holidays and my birthday. She leaves voicemails. I don’t-” Kyle’s words were choked out by a sudden sob. “Shit.”

“It’s fine.” Kyle took a shaky breath, and Chris continued. “She called me after she visited you that time. Said you told her I knew, so if she needed to talk to someone, she could talk to me. And she sure did,” he said with a chuckle.

That was news to Kyle. “What did she say?” He wasn’t quite sure he wanted to know, but too late to take it back now.

“She was worried.” Kyle groaned. He wished he could have comforted her more when he last saw her. But she hadn’t wanted to talk much about it. Maybe she’d thought it would upset him, to keep rehashing his impending damnation. “But I told her you were as safe as you could be. And you were happy.”

This was an emotional roller coaster. He’d gone from depressed to embarrassed in mere seconds. “What did you tell her?”

“To consider you married. I mean, there’s not even a ‘til death do you part,’ right? You’re his forever. Or so he said.”

It had apparently been a good thing Kyle couldn’t read lips that night Chris had been entertaining Ryka. Ryka had said the same to him countless times, but that he’d said it to someone else was a little … much. “How’d she take that?”

“She was surprised. I mean, we didn’t go into details.” Luckily, Chris didn’t even know those. “But she’s happy you’re happy. We keep in touch. And she does understand why you can’t call, or return her calls. So you don’t need to feel bad.”

“I still do, though. And today ….” Kyle trailed off, words strangled by things he shouldn’t be feeling. “I know I need to cut ties, but I can’t make a clean break. I thought I could, but I was wrong.”

Master … careful. Ryka’s words were somewhere between sympathetic and threatening, and Kyle felt his skin crawl. Bile rose in his throat thinking about the consequences should he go back on his progress. His soul was already lost; he didn’t want to risk anyone else’s.

Still, cutting everyone out completely was painful. There had to be something in between, right? An option where he kept his peace of mind, and his family kept their chance at Heaven.

“Do you think that maybe, just once a month or something, you could send me an update? An email, just letting me know you’re all still okay. It would help.”

“I can do that. And I won’t expect any sort of reply. I’ll just put a ‘read’ notification on it so I know you saw it.”

That plan appeased Ryka as much as it did Kyle. The foggy, jittery feeling that had been plaguing Kyle all afternoon vanished. “Thank you.”

“No problem.”

“I’ll let you get back to your girlfriend – I’m sure she’s waiting for you.”

“And I know I really shouldn’t keep you from your husband. But it was good to hear from you.”

They said their farewells, and Kyle collapsed back onto the couch, covering his face with his hands. “Sorry. I’m weak.”

You’re not. You’re human. And stronger than most.

“How can that be?”

You know these host-parasite deals don’t usually last more than a year or so. Tough as those mortals thought they were, they couldn’t handle their demons. You, though, stud, are a natural. And no, you’re not heartless. The opposite. You want your family to be safe, so you do the right thing. Shitty as it is.

The tears were falling again, but Kyle let them. It felt better just to let them out than try to fight them back. “I really don’t regret this, just so you know.”

I know. It’s just a bad day. Kyle nodded. Indeed it was. Anything I can do to make it better?

There was one thing, but Kyle found himself too embarrassed to say it out loud. Luckily, he didn’t need to.

Just that? Easy. I love you, Kyle, and I always will.