Save the dim green glow of the digital clock next to the bed - which really didn’t illuminate much - there was no light in the room. The blackout curtains were drawn, and even the fluorescents from the hall were hardly visible through the crack under the door. But somehow, Kyle still made it across the room without tripping over anything. He assumed he had only Ryka to thank.

You just spent too long sitting in the dark. Creep.

Still, Ryka forced on the bathroom light as Kyle stepped through the doorway. Kyle paused, eyes stinging. As soon as they had adjusted to the sudden brightness, he continued on his way.

“I don’t like having the lights on,” Kyle returned, mumbling as though Ryka wouldn’t know exactly what he was saying – even if he chose not to say it out loud.

But I do. It wasn’t Kyle’s hungry gaze staring back at him from the mirror over the bathroom sink. After forcing himself to look away, Kyle grabbed a washcloth and held it under the tap. The cold water felt good on his hands, even better on the rest of him. Without having to be asked, Ryka had relaxed his control and given Kyle exactly what he needed. A chance to cool down.

Before we heat things back up. No point in scolding; one glance at his reflection revealed the fact that he was flushed red down to his navel. His body saying what he wouldn’t.

“Not yet.” Kyle folded the washcloth, set it on the edge of the sink, then shuffled back to bed. The light turned off behind him with an audible crackle. At least this was a hotel, and not his problem. Ryka wasn’t kind to sinners or electronics. Someday, Kyle was going to have to explain to an electrician what had happened to his house.

Hoping that day was a long way off, he climbed back under the blankets, stretching until his joints popped before leaning back against the headboard.

Just say the word.

“I know.”

The conference had ended that morning, and Kyle was now enjoying one night of having no responsibilities. Save for enjoying Ryka’s company, that is. Something much easier to do now that it was just the two of them, no interruptions. The trauma of the cross incident passed and Jenny gone back home, Ryka was much more at ease. Though Kyle had liked seeing her again, and was glad to know she was doing well, he was even happier she had been able to return to her family after only a minimally horrific encounter with Ryka.

What do I have to do to get you to stop thinking about her? Ryka grumbled.

“Sorry. It’s just been so long. And to run into her like that ….”

Why are you so hung up on this?

“I don’t mean to be. I’m just feeling … guilty, I guess.”

Chalk up another sin. Your soul is looking pretty dark.

“Gee, thanks. But you know, therapy’s expensive. And you don’t have a choice but to listen to me.”

Don’t remind me.

Really, Kyle hoped that if he was forthcoming about his past, Ryka would reciprocate. Their relationship felt so off-balance sometimes - Ryka knew everything about him, and he knew so little about the demon. Maybe they could change that.

“I know you don’t want to keep hearing her name, but ….”

Ugh. Whatever. Talk. It sounded like he was mimicking exasperated adolescents, but Kyle could hear the curiosity in Ryka’s voice. His interest was confirmed when he followed up his feigned annoyance with, Why’d you date her if you only like dick?

Poor choice of wording aside, it was a fair question. Probably one he should have answered more clearly for Jenny. Now, he only had Ryka to clear his conscience to, for whatever a confession to a monster from Hell was worth.

“We were friends first, part of a big group - including Chris - that met Freshman year of college. She and I liked a lot of the same things, were together pretty often. I should have known it wouldn’t work, but when she asked me out, I guess I figured it wouldn’t be all that different from what we were already doing.”

Except that you turned out to be a shitty boyfriend. Seeing Jenny had brought the memories of their breakup fresh to mind. Vivid enough that it felt like it had happened only days - not years - before. That she liked him - loved him, even - but that he didn’t seem to return her feelings.

“Apparently.”

How so, stud?

“Well ….” No response, which meant Ryka was waiting for him to say it. The one time he wasn’t eagerly rummaging through Kyle’s thoughts ….

You don’t like it when I do that.

“But you just did. And when has me not liking it ever stopped you before?”

He felt Ryka’s laugh vibrating in his chest. Fair. But you didn’t answer me. How’d you fuck it up?

Kyle had set himself up for this, so only had himself to blame. “By not fucking her enough, I guess. We did it maybe twice in the almost three months we were together. I couldn’t get it up.” The last words tumbled out in an embarrassed mumble.

Not a problem now.

Kyle forged on. “I think she had her suspicions. But she waited for me to tell her myself. Weeks after we’d split. I had to tell her - I didn’t want her to feel any worse than she probably already did. Now I’m wondering what Chris tried to say to her, though.” Jenny had let slip that Chris made an attempt to warn her away from dating Kyle, without outing him. For a second time.

And how did he find out? There was no doubt Ryka had long ago uncovered this little gem. He had probably also begged Chris for the story that night they had chatted over beer. The night Ryka had blocked Kyle from hearing any of their discussion.

“He caught me. Well, us.”

Tell me.

“We had another friend – Alex - from a different group. He used to keep me company when Chris was in this three-hour lab class our first semester. We were playing video games one day, and he kissed me. I kissed him back, and we carried on from there.

“I think Chris suspected. We tried to be smart about it and fool around right when the class would be starting, so we’d always have plenty of time. Except one day, it was canceled, but Chris didn’t know that until he got there. So he turned around, came back, and found me and Alex with our hands down each other’s pants.”

Smooth.

“Shush. We were more open after that, though, at least around Chris. He got used to us being together, and that’s why he slipped and told my mom I had a boyfriend over Thanksgiving break.”

I should have picked on him more.

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

“No. Now may I continue?” A grumbled affirmative. “Okay, then. Well, we kept it quiet for the most part. But we’d still go out, just the two of us. Bars, movies, that sort of thing. It lasted until summer break. He was transferring somewhere else in the fall, so we decided to break it off.”

‘We’ or you?

“Me, I guess. Why do you ask?”

Ryka ignored the question, meaning he didn’t want to have to answer honestly. Instead, he kept prodding. There’s more.

“A couple very short-lived flings Sophomore year. Chris was the only one who knew about those. And he felt so bad about outing me that he kept his mouth shut around our friends. I sort of wish he hadn’t though. Or that I’d had the balls to just come out. Because after those guys, it was Jenny.”

Who dumped you first.

“Yeah.”

By the way, I charge by the minute, not the hour.

“I’m scared to ask how I’ll be paying. Well, after Jenny, I felt like such a piece of shit I abstained the whole rest of that year.”

Not that summer, though. You boned a lifeguard.

“You really do have a way with words, dear.”

And you have a way with that dick. Made him beg for it in the changing room. I’ll beg for it, too.

“Not yet,” Kyle told him again, willpower starting to crumble. He needed to make it through this, to see what Ryka might offer in return. Besides a hand job.

Fine. But there’s still more. There was that itch behind his eyes, and the flash of a face Kyle hadn’t thought of in a long, long time.

“Jamie.” Kyle paused, took a deep breath. “We had two classes together senior year, and ended up working together on a project in one of them, in the fall. He had a single so we worked there a lot. It didn’t take long before we were hanging out for fun, and not just for class stuff. Maybe halfway through the semester he came out to me. I told him I was very interested.”

And?

“I don’t know if I’d call it dating - it never felt too serious. And we never talked about it. But I liked being with him. He was … experienced.”

Kyle was very glad he was no longer in front of the mirror. There was no way he wasn’t blushing again, and deeply. It really had been a very long time since he’d thought of Jamie, and the things they’d done together. “We fooled around a lot. But we were compatible in general. Maybe it could have gone somewhere. But graduation was coming, so I broke it off.”

You sure did. Not even your cousin knows about him, huh? Ryka projected him a proud smile - he was privy to all Kyle’s secrets, his closest confidante by matter of course. But his boastful grin quickly turned lascivious. I’ve gotten off on those memories more times than I care to count. I would have fucked him, too.

“Ry!”

What? I thought we were sharing.

“We are, but ….”

I’m saying he was a good choice. Not the last one, though. That fucker needs to die. Though I owe him a little for making you so desperately lonely that you’d say ‘yes’ to a demon.

Back to the shitty memories, these ones more recent. “Drew and I weren’t together long, but it seemed to be going pretty well. Then he called and dumped me. Out of the blue, I thought, until his wife called, too …. He got caught, and let me take the blame.” It had been Drew that he’d been cursing the night of Ryka’s arrival. Wishing death and eternal damnation on the man who’d fucked him over. Except by the end of the night, Kyle was on the receiving end of his own ill will, his place in Hell cemented when he agreed to help a big-eyed imp.

It felt like Ryka was leveling an impressively hard stare at him. He was a piece of shit in bed, too, huh?

The demon’s attention was oppressive, but Kyle had wanted to vent, hadn’t he? “He only ever topped, only cared if he got off; I’d have to finish myself when he went to clean up. ” The signs had been there, but Kyle hadn’t wanted to see them. He’d wanted something serious, and was willing to overlook Drew’s obvious flaws to make it work. “It wasn’t really a loss, but the way it happened... He lied. A lot.” About where he was when he wasn’t with Kyle, why Kyle couldn’t go to his place.

Track him down and I’ll make him pay. They’ll need his dental records to figure out he was ever human. Kyle swallowed back bile - it was no empty threat.

“Not worth it,” he quickly replied. Better to make it known as clearly as possible.

I disagree. It’s always worth it. Because he’s the one who almost ruined you.

Throat tight, he nodded. That was the best way to put it. He’d held out on Ryka, and himself, for too long. He’d been put off not just sex, but relationships in general. All because of the things Drew had done to him. “Ry ….”

It all worked out, though. Now it was a purr vibrating behind his ribs.

“It did.” This was no time to get sappy; he had digging to do. “So … your turn?”

If you insist. Let’s see, there was that incubus that taught me lots of fun things, including the dream trick, at least the basis of it. But I had lots of friends. That last word implying something beyond friendship, Kyle knew. Fuck buddies, Ryka had once said. Making Hell sound like a nonstop orgy for the demons that populated it.

“Like Val?”

You were jealous.

“Yes,” he admitted. Not anymore, but that jealousy had been the push he’d needed.

Pity you didn’t get to see him naked. He’s hung.

“It’s hard to reconcile you saying things like that with that sweet little imp I first met.”

We’ve been over this.

“I know, I know.” That was a sore subject, too, the change that had been forced on Ryka to help make their deal. Time to take a move on and take a chance. “So, what about the one you said reminds you of a certain coworker of mine?” Angie’s name was still off-limits. The unholy rage it triggered wasn’t worth the saved syllables.

Tavia? That alone was more information than Kyle had ever expected to get. Never made it that far. ‘Let’s be friends,’ she said.

“Ouch. Her loss, though.”

Thanks, stud.

“Of course, dear. But -”

What? You want a list? We’ll be here all night.

“Charming, Casanova. No, I don’t want a list.” He had his own. Much shorter, maybe only partly due to the fact that Ryka had several hundred years on him. But it wouldn’t be getting any longer. Neither would Ryka’s. “Um ….” He couldn’t even ask it, silently pleaded for Ryka to read his thoughts and save him the embarrassment. Ryka obliged him.

We’re not that different from mortals in that regard. Lots of us like long-term companionship. I’m liking it. A lot. The ghostly sensation of fingers tracing up his ribs, across his collarbone.

“Me, too,” he gasped. He needed to calm down, settle the butterflies in his belly. Whether he meant to be or not, Ryka was distracting. Kyle shook his head, a “no” against Ryka’s advances and a way to try and clear his head. “This is the longest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

I know. Glad you got over that fear-of-commitment thing.

“Fear of what now?”

You heard me. Think about it, stud. All those boys whose hearts you broke. For no good reason.

Kyle opened his mouth to argue, and promptly closed it again. There had been a pattern, hadn’t there? End it before it got serious, or never let it get there in the first place. And now he had Ryka. And Ryka had him. Forever.

I meant it when I said that, too. And forever’s a long fucking time.

“I’m looking forward to it.” And he meant that.

Also glad you’ve mostly learned to say what you mean, instead of making me go dig for it. Just because I can hear what you’re thinking doesn’t mean I wouldn’t prefer you just fucking say it.

“It’s getting easier.” Strange as it was, he really did find it easier to get along with Ryka than he did with almost anyone else. Ryka lent him the courage he had always been lacking, and Kyle felt he provided the demon a necessary moderating influence. They made up for each other’s shortcomings quite well.

Another thought occurred to him, and Kyle laughed quietly to himself.

What?

“I was just thinking: I’ve always heard people introduce their partners as their ‘better half.’ I kinda get it.”

Oh?

It was an undeniably cheesy thing to say. Even if true. “Though maybe ‘better’ is stretching it a bit. You can be an incredible pain in the ass.”

And you’re a selfish prick.

“Me? What about you?”

Of course I am. Mostly, though, I’m just greedy. I want you all to myself.

“Then I’m yours.”

Same here. During the pause that followed, Kyle closed his eyes. Inside his head, he was met with the demon’s smoldering stare. Those butterflies were back. Now you’re horny again.

This, he thought with much chagrin, was the other thing Ryka did for him: force him to confront his own feelings. “Yes.” The lights overhead flickered on. So this was how he’d be paying.

That’s right. No hiding in the dark this time. So?

“Touch me. Please.”

Gladly, Master.