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Beta Zero
44- Self More or Less

44- Self More or Less

After wrapping up his conversation with Ephyra, Wren grabbed a bite to eat before touching bases with his friends and sharing a few words with key people. After witnessing what happened, everyone was respectful of Wren. Especially after seeing how their Guardian treated and spoke with him as an equal.

What Wren was most concerned about at that particular moment, however, was the silent bomb he remembered existing in the Suncave house. Jesni was nowhere in attendance and after seeing the way Jackoby was glued to the side of Rabas and looking a little sadly at Rohn, Wren decided to check out the state of things.

Wren said, “Rabas, right? Is this handsome young fellow your son?”

Rabas smiled weakly, attempting to generate respectful pleasantness as he said, “Yes, he is.”

Wren continued probing, “And is your wife not in attendance?”

Rabas replied, a little greenly, “Ah, no. She has dealt with particularly heavy blows in her personal life and did not feel up to attending. Perhaps I should see how she is doing.”

Wren quickly said, “Please stay for a moment. I have something I wish to discuss with you and Rohn but perhaps your sharp young man could check in on her. I'd hate to feel responsible if there truly was a need for you to be at her side.”

Rabas turned to Jackoby with a meaningful look and said, “Run home and see how your mother fares. If there is any need at all, do not hesitate to return and fetch me.”

Plan your escape little rabbit. It will do you no good! Muwahaha.

Wren guessed he probably only had mere minutes before Jackoby returned and then things would not play off so naturally. He quickly drew Rabas with him to Rohn and Imani before he said, “Id like to catch up and see how the last few days have treated you, Imani but the moon calls me to act again. May I borrow Rohn for a few moments?”

Imani said, “Of course, Wren. I do like that name better than Orison. Much more pleasant feeling to say. I will share a few words with the matriarch then.”

Rohn looked at Wren searchingly as he said, “If this is a conversation of serious nature, perhaps we should move to a more quite spot.

“That would suit me fine.” Wren replied.

Rabas chimed in, “If you have business with the Eldest, then you don't need me, surely. If there is something I need know of, the-”

Wren said, “It involves you directly and also requires your input. I'm starting to get the impression you wish to avoid me Rabas!” Wren laughed but the laughter didn't reach his eyes as they made contact with Sable. The older man paced them at a respectable distance.

Rohn led them to the guest room and sat himself down on the bed, “So what is this about that it must be discussed during celebrations.”

Wren got to it, “I know you don't know me well and the words I'm about to say probably won't be much welcomed either but please humor me and if you must, use what good will you have towards me as collateral. What I ask is important and what I say is needful.”

Rohn's face filled with trepidation but he nodded and spoke for Wren to continue.

Wren said, “How did you end up with Imani in the scant three days I was with Glaucous?”

Wren received a story of how Imani got separated from her group and took an obelisk to here after seeing a notice board of Wren's group defeating a threat, hoping to join them. After falling down a slick hill into one of Under City's rain gully traps for fish that belonged to Suncave, she was brought back and Rohn felt an instant attraction to her. A position she seemed to reciprocate.

Wren said, “So, I know that Rabas is Jackoby's father and all but do you really think just sticking your proving wife with your right hand all of a sudden was a good idea?”

Rohn's face clouded over as he said, “Out of consideration to my heart-brother I treated his child as my own and overlooked the infidelity of my wife. If they wished to share beds why not a home now that I have a woman who loves me?”

The heart rending misery on Rabas's face moved Wren to push on with, “Because, Rohn, The person Rabas loves is not Jesni, it's you.”

Boom. Drop the mike bitches.

Rabas was frozen in stunned horror as Rohn shook himself clear of that news and said, “But I... When I was through with our playing around you said you were through as well, Rabas. Is what Wren says true?”

Left with nowhere to hide and nothing left to lose Rabas said, “You did not seem interested in me any longer and our friendship was more important to me, at that time, than intimacy. An Eldest has duties to his House to produce heirs, even if you were open to keeping me in your bed, your mother would never have allowed it...” Rabas took a moment to get his shaky voice under control before continuing, “At first I was content to just be at your side but as time went by I... Rohn, I don't know what madness possessed me to sleep with your wife. In some ways I think it was just so I could be where you've been, to steal some of the warmth you left with her for myself. I'm deeply ashamed of it.”

Rohn stood speechless, watching Rabas crouched to the ground in misery before he finally said, “I don't know how to take this. There was a time when we shared everything so freely. In some ways I feel as if I have failed you in not seeing this. I wish you had told me after Rohna was born. You have never ceased being my heart-brother, Rabas.

“I will speak with my wife on this. If Imani's heart is big enough to understand our ways then I will bring you into my rooms, if that is what you desire from me. Just know that if you attempt to set eyes on Imani as you had with Jesni, then we will be heart-brothers no longer. It was nearly too late for us, Rabas. Never hide yourself like this from me again.”

After seeing that the poison had been lanced, Wren didn't desire to stand around to watch it drain. He just hoped that now the problem could be addressed properly now that it had been drug out into the light but since he was in problem solving mode, he ensured that Liita and Bress were introduced to Lilly and dropped a hint to the Matron on looking out for psychic infiltrators.

Just one last thing to look into before I call it a day and try to unwind and unpack all this emotional crap.

Wren thought it a little humorous how Jaden had been subconsciously dodging him after the party started but he started getting bothered by it when it began looking more intentional. When Wren wasn't able to immediately see Jaden, he went to the most quiet and remote part of the pavilion. Sure enough, Jaden was there, not wanting to leave the party but not wanting to be in it either.

Deciding to take advantage of his youthful visage, Wren walked towards Jaden with a guileless smile on his face and said, “Heya. Didn't see you anywhere and thought I'd see how you were doing. Some pretty crazy stuff happened today, huh?”

Jaden stood up from the bench and started inching away as he said, “Yes. It's a lot to take in. I think I'll make my way to my quarters and ponder over it.”

Wren frowned at the coolness in Jaden's voice as he said, “Have I said or done something to upset you?”

Jaden turned to Wren with turmoil dancing in his intense eyes as he said, “No. I'm just not adjusting well to all the sudden changes. I... I apologize for presenting myself this way to you. I don't want you to think me ungrateful or resenting but you..I just need a little time. You want to be friends...I-I'll think on it. It's not that...Please, just let me have some time, alright?”

Wren sat down on the bench after Jaden practically ran to get away, feeling disheartened.

What the hell is so different this time that he's got to 'think on it' just to be friends!?

“Is it so difficult to determine his troubles, Wren. It's almost a comfort to see you struggle on this,” Glaucous said as he rounded the corner to sit on the bench opposite Wren.

Wren looked at Glaucous with confusion then, in a sudden epiphany, he said, “You mean... but Rohn attached himself to Imani as soon as she showed up! If me carrying their inheritances would affect their imprint, why would Rohn have such an easy time finding a new target, so to speak?”

Glaucous' sudden booming laughter carried around the cave, causing the party goers to pause in conversation before he reigned it in and said, “This heals my heart, truly. Perhaps if you had not been dragged off by me as soon as you invested him, Rohn would be similarly affected. Who knows? What you are facing with my son has nothing to do with something you did. Though his imprinting instinct is doing what is natural for it, he is fighting against his attraction for you. The purifying flames you gifted them carried nothing of yourself with it.”

Wren did not feel convinced as he said, “Jaden told me he was not attracted to men before. He has a strong desire to have children, a family.”

Glaucous, still showing traces of amusement, shook his head and said, “Would it have been that difficult for him to find friendship and camaraderie with other men if he had no attraction to men at all? No, he feared imprinting on a man because of what that would mean. People lie to themselves often when they are faced with uncomfortable truths. His instinct may be somewhat separate and developed than most but it is still him. Why would it force him to pursue something he was not interested in? As for his obsession with having children and making a family, it is something I had instilled in him by accident. Do you think it normal for a man barely out of youth to be so focused on such a thing? You and I both know that such a thing is not out of reach for those who possess power and ability anyway,” Glaucous grew serious as he continued, “But I do not tell you these things for your sake. I tell you for his because his instinct will not allow him to lie to himself for long and if you were to deny him it would break his heart.

“I will now illuminate you on an issue I did not before because it was in my son's best interest but now things are different. You did not love Graycat equally with both sides of yourself. Your little lover was the heart of your waking self's world but your inner self? For many reasons, some of them even good ones, you channeled your love for my son through brotherhood. I admire that you chose to focus on what was yours to claim and kept as selfless as you could towards my son. It was a boon that your inner self found that agreeable but in this life you cannot turn that into a lie you tell yourself to avoid him in turn.

“I would assume you'd make some request to go focus on building Seaside, as you are not needed here, while your friends traveled and gained experience, yes? Granted, but my son and Sable are going with you. Since I can trust you with Seaside's construction I may focus on finding opportunities and dealing with encroaching hazards I was not aware of before.”

Wren chewed on all that Glaucous had thrown out at him and though there were things that Wren didn't wholeheartedly agree with he saw no reason to argue about them as he replied, “Then I leave this dystopia crap ball in your capable hands. Two months is a long time for three people to be staring at each other. A few extra helping hands would be nice.”

Glaucous gave Wren a watery smile, “I wish things between us were more simple. We are not well matched as lovers but the decade or two our affair could last would have been a splendid time.”

Returning a weak smile of his own, Wren said, “I'm honest enough to agree but you definitely need a hearty soul, who's more than a little masochistic, to make it the long haul. I'll settle for heart-brothers though, if you don't mind. We know each other too well for anything less... So when am I going to bond with you and help you filter that faith and divinity stuff into something more neutral?”

Glaucous said, “After whatever you had done to me yesterday, it will take more than a couple of months for it to start to affect my personal vision and direction. I thought it prudent to wait till my son has had time to bond and grow closer to you first. It would make many things less difficult.”

Wren said wryly, “You know, my bonds don't have to be sexual anymore. We have many other options, meditation for instance.”

Glaucous said playfully, “But that doesn't sound nearly as pleasant to look forward to. All jesting aside, it only seems right to allow my son to bond with you first... I know what you wish to say but in my mind it is a sure thing. I won't make things more awkward for my son by stating it as such to him but, none the less, prepare yourself for when he is ready.”

Wren, a little irritated, said, “There are ways around it. I may release him from this imprinting instinct. He deserv-”

Glaucous grabbed Wren, planting the smaller man firmly at his side and as he draped his arm around Wren he said, “No need to be quarrelsome for it's own sake. I'm starting to think you and Lilly are family in truth. Why make things more complicated by toying with the nature of things... You love my son and his feelings grow for you. Aside from the difficulties to have children, you are a better match for him than even Lilly was, as much as I am fond of her... Enough of this. Tell me more about these obscure references you keep making towards my proclivities and the types of people who enjoy them.

For the remainder of the party, Wren and Glaucous sat side-by-side, having a surreal conversation about BDSM. A couple bathroom breaks and people taking their leave later, the party wrapped up. Strong alcohol mingled with the pleasant warmth and weight of Glaucous' arm draped around him put Wren at ease as he drifted off.

Wren woke up in stages. A familiar faint scent of sweat with undertones of crushed pine needles and glacier spring water filled his nose. The sensation of exhalations of breath tickled his skin which stopped, with a barely audible sharp intake, when he moved. As he opened his eyes to follow the sounds of feet quietly slapping the floor, he caught sight of a swirl marked blue butt disappearing around an alcove frame.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.

Dude, thankfully I already know your MO or that would have been seriously creepy. Where the hell am I anyway?

Wren looked around the unfamiliar quarters that vaguely resembled Rohn's, before piecing it together.

How did I end up in Jaden's quarters?... Glaucous, you are way too heavy handed... Why the hell am I naked!?

***

Wren got out of bed and walked into the connected room to see Jaden doing some odd but effective looking set of exercise movements, his semi-erect junk bobbing and swaying obscenely. Jaden's occasional side glance had Wren bashfully covering himself and finding somewhere else to look.

Wren said a bit nervously, “S-so I ended up in your quarters? Sorry for, uh... Do you know where my clothes are?”

Jaden ended his exercise and wiped himself down with a wet towel as he said, “According to my father, Lilly had too much spirits and spilled her drink on you when she tried to sketch a picture, with her black box, of you asleep on a bench. With nowhere else better in mind, father dumped you into my bed after having stripped and cleaned you. He said that he did not trust himself with you in such a vulnerable state and excited by thoughts on something he called BDSM.

“Body shame is a rare mental disease within our people but I do have a few sets of somber occasion clothing within the closet there... I do not like the feeling of being stifled outside of runner gear so they are packed away in the cedar boxes up top.”

I-i'm not ashamed of my body!... I just don't like being naked... much.

Jaden, seeing that Wren was likely to pull two or three of the boxes down on his head, went to help him but as he reached above to stop the fall of boxes, Wren flinched backwards into him. Both stayed frozen for a moment over the sudden, full body intimacy and the erection that Jaden had been obviously trying to master, rose to insistently wedge itself into Wren's crack. Jaden nudged forward to slide the boxes back into place as his stiff member twitched. They stood like that for a moment as Jaden's body thrummed on the edge before prudence won and he backed away to stride towards his washroom.

Jaden said thickly from within, “I will need some time to... clean myself. I-if you follow me in here then I won't be responsible for what happens.” And since the statement carried more threat than invitation, Wren chose not to.

***

When Jaden came out of the washroom there was equal parts disappointment and accusation on his face. Wren ignored it as he waited for Jaden to lead him out of the crazy maze that is Suncave Manor. Once they had stepped out of Jaden's suite of rooms there was a runner who had been patiently waiting for them to appear.

“Riverson, and... honored guest Wren, there is an issue that Eldest Rohn requires your aid for,” the unknown runner said.

The walk to Rohn's quarters was awkward between the knowing glances of the runner at Wren's borrowed clothes and the faint blush that insinuation painted on Jaden's face, only lending the runner's thoughts more credence.

Rohn's rooms are a hella lot messier than I remember. Then again, one wife out, another wife in and a bit of shuffling the staff probably accounts for most. I doubt Jesni left quietly too... I wonder if anyone's thought about how this would affect Rohna... It just dawned on me. I thought naming kids after their parents was bad juju or something.

Imani greeted them at the antechamber to Rohn's private rooms as she said, “I apologize for you to have to see such a display but Rohn forbade me to clean up. We have servants for such things, he says. Well, if it's not showing noticeable improvement by tonight, I'm having a hand at it and to hell with image. Living in a pig sty is bad for image... Tell your daughter that if I don't see her helping you properly, Mazy, she can go to bed without supper tonight and you'll eat with us so I can make sure you do not sneak yours to her,” she finished sternly.

Well, Imani seems to be an old hand at managing a household. Momma Ku won't be disappointed in this one.

Imani dismissed the runner as she led Jaden and Wren to Rohn's bedroom then said, “Rohn told me early this morning that Jaden can be trusted and I believe you to be worthy of trust Wren. My husband woke early today complaining of aches in his head which have steadily grown worse. We had a thought that perhaps it was related to the gift he received from you.”

Rohn doesn't seem the type to throw a false alarm for a hangover. I wonder if-

Wren's private thoughts were scattered by a bestial wail from Rohn. Galvanized into action, before it had a chance to get worse, Wren dashed to Rohn's bedside and grabbed on to the agonized man's head. Sure enough, he saw the angry looking gate with the ugly tick man staring at him as he dove into mindscape. Before he even had a chance to think it, his manifestation appeared behind him. Wren stumbled into the 'seat' from it's sudden appearance and as soon as his butt hit thighs, ribbons and chains dashed the sending to pieces.

Well, that was anticlimactic...let's drag Rohn back to his bo-

In response to his thoughts, the ribbons reached out to Rohn's astral body but the chains interpreted his request a little more liberally as they shot into the gate. Vague muffled screams could be heard coming from the other side before the chains whipped back with metaphorical bloody chunks of what was on the other end as the gate closed on it's own. The demon side ate the bloody chunks as a small stream of LE and SE coursed through the ribbons into Rohn. Seeing how robust Rohn's astral body looked by the time it was done, Wren guessed he just got a lot more than he lost and Wren got a fair bit of increase as well.

BZ cut in with, “You are firmly seated in the target range for Mandala of Nameless Transformations' initial set up.

Wren thought at BZ, “Thanks for the heads up. Probably shouldn't try to do that while I'm in Rohn's head though.”

BZ responded with, “Why not? This could be considered a fortunate encounter for Rohn. You may not be allowed to directly interfere with other's Dharma without consequence but allowing others you trust to witness some of your secrets doesn't strictly count and without the astral field already being set up as it is here you'd have no chance of entering someone else's veil at your current power and ability.”

Wren mentally shrugged at BZ as he thought at Rohn, “I'm having a spiritual breakthrough, Rohn. Since I'm already here in your mindscape, I can allow you to witness it, if you're interested.”

Astral Rohn tilted his head to the side, looking at Wren sitting in the angel/demon throne and shivered a bit before he nodded acceptance. After receiving consent, Wren 'opened himself up', revealing the raw form of his existence. It wasn't as jagged and rough as it was the first time, mostly still spherical. Due to the refining it had undergone before it was nearly reduced to nothingness when Wren bailed out of his first reality, it was next to no effort to shave it back down to conceptual perfection again.

Taking the shaved pieces and compressing them tightly in the center, Wren reached into his realm to fish out some of his existence remnants from the 'starry sky' of his middle realm as BZ suggested. Stuffing them in with the rest, Wren reenacted a metaphysical 'big-bang' but instead of forming a cosmology, he drew out the self-guided shoots of a fractal diagram. This would form the first diagram of the Mandala of Nameless Transformations BZ said most referred to as the World Tree. As Wren grew, the World Tree would keep growing to the boundaries of his conceptual limits till it looked like a compact ball of dizzying swirls at casual glance.

During the forming of his reality structure, Wren awoke 3.5 mind. If he wanted, he could skip the maturity and go straight for the next diagram, since that happened, but memories of what it felt like to go from Sophrosyne to Eremita wiped that thought out of his head. Considering this new structure had over half of Eremita's capacity as a Tier III structure, he was certain that skipping to its Tier IV counterpart would put him in a near death state where he'd fight to continue existing, much less function.

As he wrapped up the process by 'closing' himself, Wren looked at Rohn. The look of wonder and amazement on Rohn's face made the strange feeling of vulnerability earlier worth while to Wren. As he eased himself out of Rohn's mindscape, Wren caught a glimpse of Rohn taking a peek 'inside' himself.

Before he opened his eyes and himself to questions he didn't really know the answers to, he thought at BZ, “So, any ideas on what that gate thing was about?”

BZ replied, “All that can be said with certainty is that this event was supposed to mimic a dream eater possession. The gate seemed to be a spiritual access portal from an Abyssal or Infernal plane but considering the previous deception, I would suggest the evidence to be inconclusive.”

Wren thought back, “I remember Aaron smelling faintly of sulfur the first time I met him. It stuck in my mind because he was trying to kidnap Little Gray at the time but I don't remember him having that smell later. He was using a portal that time but I don't remember him using one at later dates either.”

BZ said, “ As an existence who leans towards certainties, I would have to insist that there is too much speculation to reach a satisfactory conclusion from what little information we possess.”

Wren opened his eyes. Before anyone had a chance to bombard him with questions, he begged off by saying he had pressing matters to attend to with Glaucous after assuring them that Rohn was alright. Unfortunately, Imani's practical insistence that Wren and Jaden should get breakfast before leaving had no easy rebuttal.

As they sat down to eat, Imani felt free to break societal norms and asked Wren, “What was the nature of Rohn's ailment?”

Wren dithered but seeing Imani's concerned look grow deeper by the moment eventually he broke down and said, “You know that we were called to this world with the intent of us saving it. The truth is, this world is all but screwed. Our real purpose is to be the first run for newly minted operators and to be groomed as potential recruits.

“If that weren't enough, there is far more far more than the surface threat, which are dream eaters and such. That threat will become more clear as time goes by but the underlying threat is much more difficult to deal with. You see, I know of one Tier VI existence that has their eyes on specific key resources this world possesses and if one is known there are probably more that aren't. They may even be working together and they want to use the invasion this world is facing to strip it of said resources.

“Your husband suffered from a spiritual attack made to look like an attempted possession by a dream eater. I'm not sure what the reason behind such a thing is or why they targeted Rohn specifically but I do know the base source of the ills that affect this place typically originate from House Grimshadow. Even so, I'm willing to throw a little slack towards everyone but that House's elites since they are clueless. Much like how the average United State's citizen aren't aware of Corporate America's exploitation of third world country resources, Imani. Sadly, even those who are in the know within Grimshadow are little more than grunts to the one pulling the strings behind them.

Rohn finally finished his introspection and joined them as Wren continued, “This doesn't matter to us directly. I have no intention of trying to fight this battle toe to toe with entities that are beyond our firepower. I can't discuss it in great detail but essentially we are not going to play by the rules our enemy has tried to lay out for us. We are not facing an opponent who is some honorable warrior. They are an underhanded piece of shit, so we need to be crafty too.”

Even that was probably more than I should have said in front of Imani. I know damn well that participants are also hapless spies and I don't trust the operators or the World Host. The only group who seemed completely legit was the Guardian Alliance and that may only be because they have access to this world's resources without having to steal them. At the end of the day though, my group isn't exactly going to be that legit either.

After a little polite after-breakfast conversation, Rohn said, “Jaden, if you'd like to make your way to the Riverside Pavilion, I can bring Wren along in a moment. I'd like to have some private words before he leaves. I won't keep him for long.”

“I as well,” Imanai added.

Jaden looked ready to agree before Rohn placed a hand on Wren's shoulder as the couple lead him back towards Rohn's private rooms. At first it didn't dawn on Wren, the significance of such a small gesture, until Wren saw Jaden's stare.

As Jaden looked at Rohn's hand like he wanted to cut it off, he said, “It's not advisable to keep father waiting, brother Rohn. We've already took much time for this detour as is.”

Rohn removed his hand and said, “Brother Jaden, what I have to say to Wren, though a private matter, is important. We really will be no time at all. If you do not walk overly fast we may even catch up with you.”

Jaden cast the silent Wren an accusatory glance as he said, “Then I'll wait,” sitting back down with his arms akimbo.

A sulking Jaden!? This may be the first time I wished I had a magical smart phone like Lilly.

Rohn wasted no time once they were out of the earshot of everyone but the three of them as he said, “Wren, I had hoped to have more time to express this more naturally but with Jaden waiting I feel rushed to say this so that Imani may share words with you and I may ask you some about what happened earlier. I would like to offer you a place in our household. I have spoken with Imani about this and she is not against it.

“It feels strange to me, saying it so bluntly, but I feel there will be no chance at all if I do not clearly state this sudden but strong affection I feel for you. And even though Imani has expressed similar interest, it does not engender any resistance in me. I...”

Imani cut in as she saw her husband flailing, “ It is true. When Rohn first brought it up to me, I was quite taken aback. Our own feelings for each other happened so suddenly I was still trying to find my calm but after sleeping on it and your care and concern today, I do not disagree. I think you would strengthen us. And worry not of this Rabas fellow. Rohn has assured me that aside from offering 'comfort' to his heart-brother, his feelings are that of a brother. You would be to me a sister-husband and to Rohn you would be brother-wife and equal to us both.”

For a moment Wren was tempted. He still had strong lingering attachments to Rohn and Imani was everything that Wren could have wanted and hoped for in a woman. His intuition was already formulating a greedy plan but Wren silenced it with memories of that other life. When he had lost Rohn and Troy he had been mad with grief but when he knew that Jaden was lost to him, it had felt like part of him had died with him. Glaucous' words the night before were true. As much as he wanted to deny them, Jaden's words on the river a lifetime ago about those who fill the spaces in other's hearts had reached him on a deep level.

For Wren, Jaden was more than just someone he loved, he was someone he wanted and trusted to be at his side. He was an existence that got him on a level others didn't. Even if he could have all three, and he knew he could, Wren might be happy but he would not be able to fill the holes of Jaden's heart the same way Jaden would fill his and that was a selfishness he just couldn't embrace, no matter how much it appealed.

Wren said, “I am flattered. How could I not be. Rohn, you are a strong and brave warrior. I know you would not only make me feel safe but do everything in your power to make that a reality. Imani, you are a beautiful, strong woman and I know you are just as beautiful inside. To share my life with the two of you would undoubtedly make me happy. Despite all this, I can't. You see, there's a lonely person who's going to need everything I got to fill all the holes in their heart and once they are ready to accept me, I know they'll do the same in return.”

Imani nodded a little sadly but Rohn said, “Is it brother Jaden? He looks at you in all but contempt. How can he be... I accept you now, want you now. I know it doesn't seem genuine to say it so soon but I love you now. Why wait for him...why...” Rohn sighed deeply as Imani stroked his back before he said, “If that is the way of it then... My heart is big enough. It would be difficult but I coul-”

Imani slapped Rohn's back hard before she hugged him from the side and said, “What is there to gain by forcing your feelings. Then no one is happy. I believe, once you are calm again, you will feel the same as I, Rohn. Wren, our arms are still open to you. If you do not receive the answer you seek from this other then we are here.”

As Imani excused herself, Rohn gathered his emotions back under control and said, “She is right but I... I do not accept this so easily. He has not accepted you yet so I... Enough of this for now. In any event, before brother Jaden becomes impatient, I'd like to ask you what happened after you defeated that thing. That self shaping, what is it?

Wren, relieved by the change of topic said, “It's a carefully guarded secret. You must explore it on your own but some small guidance can be given. It's called an existence structure. It requires a clear idea, a symbol of spiritual being. The greater you understand yourself and the clearer the image of what you want to be, the better your existence model will fit you. Rather than shooting for the most powerful imagery you can think of though, I personally believe it's more important for it to reflect who and what you want to be.”

Kind of feel a bit hypocritical, since I was hand fed a superior model but at the same time, I don't feel like it doesn't fit me. It just isn't something I would have discovered on my own.

Rohn replied, a little lost, “Is that all the direction you can give?”

Wren replied dryly, “Believe me when I say you got a hell of a lot more direction than most do. You even got a first-hand demonstration of someone doing it. Just meditate over it. You have an advantage that most don't, a strong intuition from your gift. You can't ask for a better aid than that because ultimately it's the only thing allowed to help you without consequences... I really do need to get going though.”

“Yes you do,” Glaucous' deep voice intoned as Wren was washed away through the secret paths he forgot were connected to Rohn's rooms.