Wren steeled himself and approached Grimalkin who was going through his usual morning exercises and forms. Instead of interrupting, Wren contented himself with watching the display while wondering just how it was that his little ninja had such a hard time holding ground with other companions.
As Grimalkin wrapped up his practice, he turned to Wren and smiled before he said, “Morning Brother Wren. Are you recovered well?”
“Can't complain. Well, I could but it wouldn't do any good. Guess the short answer is yes,” Wren said.
Grimalkin's smile slipped a bit before he said, “Oh. Lilly had informed me that you were 'deliriously eager' this morning. I thought perhaps that meant you were feeling better.”
Lilly~ We're going to have to have a talk soon, you and I...especially about that magically undying smartphone.
“You and I have a serious matter to discuss today, Little Gray. Please don't look at me like that! It's nothing bad!”
And to think I used to make fun of a cat owning co-worker when she would talk about coming home to find her house trashed but not being able to do anything to her devil kitty. I think I named you too well, Little Gray. Big watery eyes are seriously foul play. Wonder if I can pull it off. File that....Nope, nausea inducing.
“Just go tell Sable and Troy about the food at the pavilion lounge. Have a good meal, then meet me at the grove of muted whispers over to the east there.”
“Okay, Birdy... I-is it okay if I call you that, Brother Wren?”
Seriously, stahp it... with the eye thing~ If I find out someone taught you to do that, I'm gonna wring their neck!... Why does Lilly feel chilled? It was warm world side when we first came in here.
“Sure, Little Gray, but I don't really want just anybody calling me that. So maybe we keep it for when it's just family and friends?”
Grimalkin grinned happily as he dashed off to deal with Wren's request. Wren watched him leave for a moment, with mixed feelings before sauntering off to the grove.
Is this really the right thing to do? When I first saved him and found out about his situation I just wanted to figure out a way for him to be happy. Somehow along the way I started wanting more and I'm not sure why. I feel like a bad person. If that's all there was to this then I'd know, beyond a doubt, it was the wrong thing to do to make him a bonded.
I won't be able to untangle all this till I speak to him but I need to figure out my plan of action if this all points to an affirmative. He's tough and he's got serious skills but when it comes to other participants and the potential dangers we face I worry he'll not be able to defend himself. The kid's no stranger to life and death, that's for damn sure. He's probably more qualified to tell me I'm in over my head than the other way around.
As much as I don't want to bother my old man about this, especially after Glaucous, I refuse to just do my personal best when I have access to more possibility. I know I'm going to be getting an ass chewing but it's worth it if Little Gray's gonna be sticking by me for the long haul. The small voice telling me it's more responsible to find a way to cut him loose even knows what the outcome would be right now. Besides, I promised him he'd have a place by my side for as long as he needed it and, right or wrong, my circumstances made him need it.
Wren's thoughts ran in circles of planning and self chastisement until an anxious Grimalkin stepped into the circular clearing.
“I hope that I didn't make you wait too long, Brother Wren. My father said that serious business should be accompanied by a light meal, well digested, when permissible. It is possibly important to share that Troy has coaxed my father into giving him 'comfort' and does not wish to be disturbed. Father did want me to convey that he would be at your convenience whenever you had want of it, however. It does not bring him much pleasure of mind to embrace a man, I think.”
Wren was a little unbalanced by the revelation as he asked, “Then why has Sable agreed?”
Grimalkin thought on it for a moment before responding, “Father would never say because it is a great unkindness to belittle another who requests comfort nor is it proper for one outside of a marriage to the giver to ask. If I were to be asked my opinion it would be simple hunger for union. Father once told me, long ago, that one who turns nose at simple fair for want of finer foods deserves to starve.”
Wren, for lack of anything better to say, replied, “That's, uh, practical.”
Grimalkin, as if Wren complimented his father, happily said, “Yes! The first thing taught to all children in fifth birthing year education is to ask the question; Is this practical? Our earliest record is a quote from Malkanthor Umberdown: “Never hesitate to sacrifice want for need. You must first preserve the present day to enjoy the possibilities of the future, not only for yourself but for your children.”
Yeah, there's a recipe perfect quote for future politicians to abuse forever... Sorry, the spirit of all artisans since the beginning of time burns inside me to get you off that propaganda brainwash bus.
Wren cleared his throat and while looking Grimalkin dead in the eye he quoted, “If, of thy mortal goods, thou art bereft,
And from thy slender store two loaves
alone to thee are left,
Sell one & from the dole,
Buy Hyacinths to feed the soul”
Confused Grimalkin asked. "What are hyacinths?"
Wren explained.
"So hyacinths are hyacinths." Grimalkin said, with sudden understanding.
Yeah, fuck you glitchy All Language perk.
Update of All Language will initialize at next resting period. The host offers condolences for the loss of participant Imani Balewa.
This is post dated days ago! Oh, it happened right when I was in mid ley-line tranasit. My psychicly sensitive SYSTEM interface must have prompted when I just bitched. Though, it's not that likely, I wonder what happens for normal interfaces when shit like this occures?
SYSTEM basic information prompt...
Any missed missives or updates may be obtained by requesting log review. Personal interfaces may automatically review logs at timed intervals if operator activates that feature.
I request a log review?
Discovered: Optional Mission- Recover the remains of participant First Lieutenant Kyle L. McMichael.
After looking it over for a moment, Wren dismissed the mission. The man in question was several feet underground and fused to solid rock after the obelisk responsible for his transport was destroyed. He could do it but it would either be way too risky or too time and effort consuming for just 100 achievement points. It was useful in pointing out the fact that people who relied on obelisks for transportation weren't completely safe.
Wren snapped out of his thoughts as he realized that Grimalkin had been quietly crying for the last couple minutes. As he rubbed Grimalkin's back he received a story about some other kid that was grievously injured during training. Apparently the kid had traded Grimalkin rations for a vaguely flower shaped quartz crystal laced rock. Two days later the kid had died due to complications.
Grimalkin finished his morbid story by asking Wren, “Do you think he was feeding his soul for his final journey?”
No, I think your 'owners' probably killed him when they saw he'd be a waste of resources. The kid probably just wanted your rock to look at while....close enough.
“No way to know for sure but I'd like to think that having something pretty to look at 'fed his soul' whether that was the reason he wanted it or not. I'm sure the poet meant that feeding the soul was just as important as feeding the body during depraved times. Finding or fostering beauty and positive emotions when bad things are happening helps to keep us people. Letting the soul 'starve' during such times turns people into monsters who in turn will cause more tragedy. In short, such food for the soul is supposed to remind us of the positive value of life in dark times.” Wren offered.
Grimalkin looked at Wren bleakly as he said, “A lie meant to ease suffering, then.”
Wren, pushing as much sincerity as he could into his words, said, “A greater truth confused with comforting lies due to lack of understanding.”
Grimalkin rejoined, “A hundred flowers can't measure to a life saving loaf of bread.”
Wren nodded as he said, “That is true but even a single beautiful memory in an otherwise despairing situation can sustain a person in ways that a mere meal can't.”
Wren could see that this conversation was starting to dredge up things from darker corners of Grimalkin's mind but it seemed important enough of a thing to drive the point home... After a few minutes of silently staring at his feet, Grimalkin looked back up with a brittle smile on his face and slowly nodded.
Wren finished up by bring in Grimalkin for a hug and whispering in his ear, “One of mine is the first time I saw you smile. I'd easily trade a few days of hunger for that.”
That has to be one of the most teen movie bullshit, cringe worthy sap-fest statements I have ever made but I don't even care.
Grimalkin tensed in his arms for a second before relaxing back into Wren.
As Grimalkin returned the hug he whispered back, “I concede. Your argument is too persuasive.”
Reluctantly pulling away, Wren saw that Grimalkin was starting to get a very wrong idea about what this 'serious conversation' was about. In that moment, knowing that there was plenty of time, he almost trashed his original plans but the voice of reason in the back of his head was keeping whatever irrational impulse that had grown in him towards Grimalkin in check.
Wren gathered his resolve and launched into his main reason for this private conversation. “ So that I can focus on what I need to say, perhaps it's best if we sit on these opposite benches for now.”
The disappointment but lack of hurt in Grimalkin's face and body language let Wren know that although the young man might be innocent, the imp was not unaware of his appeal to Wren and seemed to even be empowered by it. A brief irritation built in him before it quickly died in the realization that Grimalkin had never once initiated any kind of flirting with Wren. He felt there was nothing wrong with enjoying the feeling of being desired as long as the person in question wasn't intentionally leading anyone on.
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Wren shook the errant thoughts out and said, “Hold your thoughts until I get this next part out, alright? I feel like I've been a bad brother to you of late. Yes, I knew you would not like me saying that. But it's not in my action's that make me so, it's in my thoughts and feelings... I wanted to give you every opportunity to grow and flourish into your own person, to find a different road for yourself till you grew independent of me. We would still be brothers and I would still be there for you when I could.
“Ever since the day at the tree when I... Things started to change for me. I can't say why because I don't know. It's like I just realized that my feelings for you had grown outside the borders I tried to put our friendship in... I think it's foolish and wrong for me to drag you into my troubles but as long as you want to follow me I don't have the heart to deny you. Have you ever thought about asking to become one of my bonded?”
Grimalkin didn't even pause when he said, “No.”
Well, I didn't expect that. I knew there was a chance but I really didn't even take it serious. That hurt-
“I've observed that every bond you make takes something of you away. I don't want something that would make you weaker. I've also noticed every bond that you have troubles you. I'll just keep trying to reach for your side until the day I can no longer. I will content myself with knowing that it is still there when I no longer have the strength to reach it. That will be enough.” Grimalkin said, interrupting Wren's slide into self pity.
“So, you are saying that you don't want to be bonded to me for my sake?” Wren said, trembling with the effort of keeping himself seated on the bench.
Grimalkin lowered his head and said, “I don't want you to waste anymore of your effort on me. You've done so much but I'm no different. You did much less for others and made them stronger but you've put so much into me and I'm still the same. Even my father's abilities have grown with just a slight effort from you. I-I'm ashamed that there is so little potential within me.
Ah. I'm starting to see it now. I put him back together from the floor up for half a day and he was the same but less than a few minutes with a fourteen year old girl and she became a powerhouse. Damn it, this is my fault. How long has he been tearing himself up over this?
Not being able to resist any longer Wren moved over to Grimalkin's bench and put an arm around him, pulling the little guy into him.
Wren said, “I never tried to strengthen you. Rohn, Rohna and your father got good effort from me but I wanted to know as much as I could before I did that for you. I really only have one shot to do major changes to someone before all I'm capable of are minor improvements. Believe me when I say there is all kinds of potential in there. I just didn't feel confident that I could give you the best of it. I still don't but I have a better idea and I'm going to get help to do it. I should have told you.
“How could you compare yourself to them. They are friends but you are my family. Admittedly, I gave Rohn the best I could at the time but I wanted you to get the best I ever could. If anyone should be ashamed right now it's me. I failed to be the brother you needed when I started longing for you and I failed you in many ways not explaining why you did not improve.”
A session of each trying to outdo the other in apologies and gratitude commenced which finally ended when Wren, even in rosy glasses mode, couldn't handle it any more.
Wren said, “Now that we got that understanding out of the way, let's hit the first one. What I am needs those bonds, Little Gray. It was the people who have them that brought me trouble. For the longest time I didn't have romantic feelings for Troy and by the time I had them I found out that he didn't have any serious ones for me. Lilly was like a little sister to me and even now I still don't love her romantically, Jaden was just along for the ride and doesn't really have an interest in men. He doesn't have an interest in anyone but Lilly, for that matter. The problem is that the bond we share has affected him and Lilly is just big hearted enough to handle it while Jaden's adapting. It's all left me more with a feeling of taking responsibility for what I've done to them than anything like a bond should really be.
“Letting go of Troy was dangerous and I don't even have some of the advantages I did when we broke our bond. Even if I had another bond to fall back on I don't want to go through that again. All that leads us back to you.
“I've never been good at this kind of thing. Even after all the changes I've gone through it hasn't gotten any easier. I know what a bond means in ways I didn't before and even with that knowledge I want a bond with you. I wanted to wait until you asked me, if you ever did, but changes in our situation has prompted me to ask you instead. I feel like I'm wronging you in taking the lead on this and I don't want you to say yes unless you want it too.
“I love you and not the way a brother should but in the way of an adult who's found another they want to share their life with. You are a surprise to me and I'm not going to sugar coat that it was a surprise I took well. I love you in the way I would love a woman. That's not to say that I see you as one it's just that my feelings of tenderness and the desire to protect you are the same and as much as I still feel the need inside of me to seek a woman, for you I'd forsake that desire if it would bring you pain.
“With all that said, I want you to understand something. If I thought you said yes to me because it's what I want but not what you do then that would hurt me more than you saying no would. So as much as I want you to become my bonded, please don't say yes unless you know for sure it's what you want because your happiness is far too important to me. The thought of you sacrificing any part of yours for mine would bring me a sadness I don't have proper words fo-”
Grimalkin's sudden face smashing attack sealed Wren's mouth and scattered his thoughts. For a half second Wren even thought that maybe he had said something that angered Grimalkin enough to hit him. Another half second later Wren felt the sensation of lips on his. An unopened crushing mouth had stoppered his own and even through the taste of his own blood in his mouth, Wren thought that the painful and awkward gesture was the sweetest thing in the world.
At ease soldier! This is not the time. We've got way too much important stuff to address before it's time for cash and prizes to start coming out.
After a few moments of face pressing, Grimalkin backed up looking confused. As Wren battled with his libido for control over the situation Grimalkin suddenly had a look of lightning strike enlightenment.
Grimalkin said, “Oh, um, I should properly answer first. Yes. Now is it alright to continue?”
Watching Grimalkin looking shy, and hesitant but eager was not helping Wren win his internal struggle but Wren held firmly to the idea that for what he had in mind it would be best for both of them to be at their best and a consummation of feelings wouldn't leave either of them even close to peak condition.
Wren voice broke a little before he could get out, “There are things we need to do before that. Besides I want to do this right and part of that is a ritual from back home that may be a bit unnecessary and old fashioned but it would mean a lot to me if you would agree.”
“I- alright. I'm not as well trained in such things as my father but I'll have control of the lower ache soon,” Grimalkin said as he looked to the side with flushed face.
It might be a bit sadistic but seeing that I was tortuously wanted just as much is a nice feeling. Rapey Rohn doesn't even compare. I have to admit that chained and shackled Glaucous was stimulating in it's own way. Maybe there's a little dungeon master inside this kool-aid pumping heart after all. And anyone who thinks the guy behind the cardboard screen, rolling dice to declare the fate of your character, deserves to be separated in terminology obviously does not have a full grasp of sadism.
Wren grabbed one of Grimalkin's hands and led him back to the pavilion. From the loud and expressive noises coming from the guest rest area, Wren decided to endure till a good rest point. If he knew it was going to take a full hour and a half he wouldn't have had such a generous frame of mind but he didn't just sit idle during it. Casting his focus inward, Wren began working on a surprise for the right moment and as a rumpled, sore but obviously satisfied Troy came half stumbling out on his way to the washroom Wren was more than ready.
Walking past, Troy provocatively said, “Enjoy the radio broadcast? I can't say much for Little Gray but I doubt Sable would have minded you joining in, Wren.”
In good-natured annoyance, Wren cracked a smile and said, “Go wash the stank from where you were stuck already. I got business with Elder Black. Be glad I'm not a party pooper.”
“Well, while the old men are talking, you could join me in the shower Little Gray.”
Wren felt his new found peace and acceptance of Troy evaporate like a snowball in a deep-fryer.
Before he could blow up, Grimalkin cut in with, “ I am now Wren's and it has become offensive for you to ask. You did not know so it's forgiven. Do not ask again.”
Troy owlishly blinked a couple times before saying a muted apology and walking away.
Guess that's the right way to handle it. Still want to flatten his nose on principle though. Childishness be damned.
It took Wren a moment to realize that Sable had been standing in the doorway the whole time, looking equally ready for conversation or murder. Since that was his apparent default mode it would have been difficult to determine what he'd been up to before that moment had Wren not been sitting here.
Wren recited a bit through his head before he stood up and said, “Teacher Sable, I ask your permission for your son's hand. Er, that means I desire to have your son in my household as partner.”
Sable's expression clouded with confusion as he said, “He is already a member of your house. Once he took your family's name I have no say in his affairs.”
Expecting some kind of culture misunderstanding, Wren soldiered on, “It is more precise to say that I desire your blessing. It is a custom from my world.”
Sable nodded as he moved towards the two and said, “Then I will do my best to honor it through the lens of my culture. We as branch members did not have opportunity to stand in union ceremony but I have witnessed many. I will stand for myself and in his mother's stead.”
Sable bent down and kissed his son on the forehead before saying, “I formally release you from my house to join house Tidren but your place at our hearth will remain if your union remains unfruitf- unrewarding.”
taking out a dagger he stood in front of Wren and sliced his palm. He looked at Wrens own and waited. Wren offered his hand and held back a hiss at how deeply the older man had sliced it. The blood running from both hands was copious as it dripped to the floor.
He isn't fucking playing games! A normal person would need a dozen stitches to deal with this shit.
Sable deeply and painfully pressed their wounds together before saying, “You take my blood into you as you take my blood into your house. Know that even though the issue of my son will carry your family's name my blood remains. May it strike you down if you play it falsely. Strive that your house is home until the end of your days should you desire to keep him for my house's doors will remain open if he ever desires to return... This was the original verse before it was changed 200 years ago.”
Sable backed up a few steps after wrapping their wounds and finished, “At this point the eldest and matron of each house would swear their agreements on whatever conditions that brought the union to occur, be it love or necessity. I will simply say that it brings me great warmth and tightening of the chest that my son will not be denied the luxury of a true union and I would appreciate it if you would heal my hand, Wren.”
“It would be my pleasure Elder Black,” Wren said between a few chuckles.
As his hand was healed Sable said, “Birdy, I will not ask the impossible of you. The dangers of your life are apparent to me. No matter how short or long it may be, bring my son as much happiness as you can reasonably grant. I have no other request.”
Looks like I got a marriage instead of an okay but I ain't bitching.
Wren channeled into Hiidan's mark as he said, “Stand by Elder Black, I got one more parent to get in on the action.”
The unfolding happened so quick Wren almost didn't catch it before Hiidan stood in full reality cut-out.
Before Wren could say a word, Hiidan let out a repression of will that left the three slumping and slightly breathless as he walked over to Grimalkin.
Hiidan stood imposingly in front of Grimalkin and said, “What are you willing to give my son, that he should accept one such as you as his bonded?”
“All I have,” Grimalkin gritted out.
“And if that is not enough?” Hiidan said coldly.
Grimalkin fought under the oppressive will silently until he said, “Then I will give all I am, then at least my last moment will give me a passing joy.”
The oppressive will snapped off just as suddenly as it had arrived as Hiddan walked over to Sable and said, “My son's getting the better bargain out of this union. I'm almost ashamed but I have good reason to believe my son's worth will grow with time.”
Sable nodded, “What he lacks in survival skills, self-awareness and will he makes up for in generosity and caring. Time and experience will temper him. I fear my son is not sufficient to keep him safe till that day comes.”
Hiidan said, “Your son is not alone in mine's safeguarding but he is the only one who places my son first and that moves me to give aid the others will not get from me, no matter how my son may beg for it.”
Wren had just about reached the end of his tolerance in respect for the situation and was about to share his opinion when Hiidan turned to him and said, “I do not discourage you from walking your own path but what little remaining precious resources I've been hording I will not waste. Suffice it that I am willing to aid your bonded to be, this time, and save your anger to attempt to move me when it is actually warranted. Now, are you ready to put your money where your mouth is and shell out almost all you got in your piggy bank to get my help?”
Wren simmered but kept it in check as he said, “ As long as you are willing to oath that your aid is genuine and the main purpose of your asking, sure.”
Hiidan chuckled, “So cheeky... I am willing to oath my offer of aid is genuine and is roughly equal to my main purpose. That consideration of your well being has grown to such a degree is a surprise to myself but half of my heart belongs firmly to my first desire and I have no wish to hide it from you. In fact, I have given much thought in raising you to join me in it's pursuit if you are of a mind to when you have matured. I will need an oath from the three of you in return. It is the ancient oath of guesting. Most of what you pay will be to bring the three of you here and the essence necessary to send you back. Though I must include an oath of forgetting for Sable and Grimalkin. It is as much for all of your safety as it is mine.”
After a bit of coaching and a large sum of Wren's accumulated LE and SE. The three stepped through Hiidan and into his domain.