Concentric white circles. No outline. Maybe some really mildly variations of off-white going into pinky-purpleish, but really small degradations between them, like on the level that middle-aged people would bicker over as they decide to paint their house, probably with names like Soulful Magenta, Anime Sunrise or Angel's Arsecrack. It's really a terrible looking menu system and it's not helped by the type face that appears to be a mix between BeBoop Robot and Comic Sans.

That's what just sprung from the my pain-induced blackout and dear god it's not helping.

Your master Void Dungeon Persephone has granted you Evolution Points. To begin the Evolution process please choose a Mythic Phenotype to follow. Due to requirements for Misdirection, Stealth, Magic Resistance, Mental Resistance and General Style your paths have been restricted to the following:      -- Quicksilver Golem --      -- Beholder -- -- Mind Flayer -- -- Bound Djinn -- -- Incubus -- -- Wraith -- -- Sphinx -- <>

The circular walls that surrounded me pulsated with increasing frequency. It was irritating and left me with a weird sense of deja vu, but it did at least deliver an intense sense of urgency. I tried to choose carefully, but really one option had jumped out at me from the start:

Phenotype -- Quicksilver Golem -- Creature Type Construct Alignment Lawful Neutral Lair Theme Industrial Energy

Attributes Tireless Any reduction in Stamina is halved Materialistic (Quicksilver) The nature of a Golem is connected to the material that it is made from. Quicksilver is magical liquid metal known for it's reflective properties and rumoured to have affinities towards temporal and interdimensional travel Ponderous  It would be a disservice to say that Golems are unintelligent, it's just that when they think about something, they commit. As a Golem you will find it easier to focus at the expense of finding it harder to adapt to situations quickly. Viva la Resistance As a Golem you have varying resistances to Magic, Bludgeoning, Piercing, Slashing, Poison and Humour-based attacks and effects If I Only Had A Heart  As a Golem you are resistant to emotional such as Fear, Anger, Love, Embarrassment, Sadness, Joy and whatever else you can think of, but probably won't.

As I confirm my selection the white, pink and I think maybe puce circles fall down around me and I'm staring at a spike covered throne. It takes me a moment, but I realise where I am. How the fuck can I be inside my own chest?

As quickly as I think it cracks appear in the throne, on the walls and floor, up my legs, body, arms and face. Then it all just... flaked off.

And in it's place; manic, neon lights, crackling energy and the gleam of metal.

Whoa.

I looked down at my new body, both fascinated and horrified at the same time, but mostly fascinated, since the quicksilver that now made up my body, half-liquid, half-mirror, half shiny ooze, was suddenly incredibly mesmerizing. When I moved, it flowed, and I spent a whole minute just admiring it.

Or it would have been a whole minute, if the blinding pain had not stabbed my mind again.

<< Ugh. I was hoping you wouldn't go for that one. >>

I blinked, and slowly looked around for the source of the voice, but saw nothing but the empty room within my own chest. What? How does that even make sense? I had a feeling I should know what the voice was talking about, but suddenly couldn't quite remember. My brain seemed to be flowing, and my thoughts a muddy mess.

<< Ben! Concentrate! Ugh. Of all the choices you had to go with the one with low base Intellect! >>

What?

<< Okay. Look at your stats. Yes. Stats menu! Now put two points into Intellect so you can start understanding my orders. Stats, Ben. No. Stop looking at your own bloody body! I know it's pretty and shiny! >>

Ouch!

Pain flashed again in my mind, and I really wished the voice would stop bothering me. But since it mentioned stats, I laboriously looked for them, before realizing they had been floating in the air in my field of vision all along.

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Stats Health 1 Dexterity 1 Strength 1 Stamina 1 Intellect 1 (You will unlock more types of stats as you evolve) Physical Resistance 5 Emotional Resistance 5 Magical Resistance 5 Environmental Influence 1 -- You have 5 points to spend! -- (You will unlock more types of stats as you evolve)

Maybe because of my Ponderous attribute, I spent a very long time focusing on each of the numbers, taking them all in.

<>

Despite the pain jabbing my mind like a sharp nail piercing through white matter, I concentrated on the last line. Environmental influence? I liked how it sounded, and in my foggy consciousness I assigned all six shiny points to it.

<>

The voice screeched at me, and the pain intensified, and if I was still human I would probably have been screaming. But as soon as the points landed, I was suddenly aware of the space I was in. Inside my chest, allegedly, but my half-liquid brain couldn't quite understand what it meant. All I knew was that it was crude and full of spikes, and I didn't like it one bit. Reaching out, I touched the walls, the spikes, the jagged cracks, and they smoothed like magic, and after a few seconds I found myself in a hall of shiny mirrors, made of the same substance as myself.

-- New attribute gained: Artistic --

Before I could read what the description said, pain coursed through me like an electric shock, and my Golem body nearly collapsed onto the shiny ground.

<>

The voice did not seem pleased at all, and I had a terrible feeling that what was going to follow was going to be highly unpleasant. But then another voice boomed out, cheery, accented, and greatly surprised, and which I suddenly remembered belonged to some tiny person called Terendrian.

"Oh, wow, what have we got here? I can't believe you've unlocked the Interior feature already."

<< Nooooo! Too late! >>

The voice in my mind cried out in panic.

I reacted to fear in the voice, obviously before I had a chance to think about it and I rippled. The world around me rippled too.

More words occurred, the only solid thing in a wooshey-whirly world. The pretty words were there again...

-- You have gained a new ability - Reset -- Due to the temporal affinities of your Quicksilver composition and your high level of Environmental influence at this early stage you have unlocked the ultra-rare Reset ability. Reset is a once per day triggered ability which allows the user to travel back up to 1 minute in time when damaged. First use triggers off of 0 damage, Second use triggers off of 1 point and the threshold damage limit doubles for each subsequent trigger after that.

The words were boring. I looked at my pretty numbers and something was incorrect.

Magical Resistance 5 Environmental Influence 1 -- You have 6 points to spend! -- (You will unlock more types of stats as you evolve)

 Maybe because of my Ponderous attribute, I spent a very long time focusing on each of the numbers, taking them all in.

<< Put two points into Intellect! NOW! >>

Despite the pain jabbing my mind like a sharp nail piercing through white matter, I concentrated on the last line. Environmental influence? I started adding the shiny points back in. +1. +2. +3. The points went in but my mind cursor pushed more and more strongly up as I adapted to the environment instinctively and a point fell next to a more boring grey word... Intellect +1

<< Yes! Yes! That's it, Ben. Now, one more point in Intellect. >>

The voice sounded both relieved and exasperated, and the pain slowly left my brain or whatever Golem part I had that was responsible for mental faculty. This of course made me very happy and I spent a few more seconds focusing on my state of happiness from being without discomfort.

<< Hello? One more point in Intellect! >>

The voice poked me again with a brief jab of pain. With my total Intellect now at 2, I was starting to understand simple logic, like how displeasing the voice resulted in horrible feelings, and how horrible feelings made me feel really bad.

Slowly, I dropped another +1 next to Intellect.

Something happened in my mind. I suddenly understood that something very strange had happened to me, and that it was very worrying and that I had better listen to the voice in my head if I wanted to stay alive.

<< Well done, Ben. Now we can talk. >>

The voice almost purred.

<< Now, we don't have a lot of time before that high mage finishes hurling. You need to convince him that you're nothing but a boring, normal low-level dungeon. >>