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Before F.R.O.N.D.E.R: Epilogue
C261: Jewels Of Apostles (Part 1)

C261: Jewels Of Apostles (Part 1)

Chapter 261: Jewels Of Apostles (Part 1)

Reimi Frieden's perspective

After Her Highness allowed me to go to the village's school in Zaira, I thanked her then we parted ways. Honestly to say, I think John and Shera should have free time to intimate after recent tragic incidents. It's time for both of them to rest and calm down.

I hope John won't keep his mind in deep sadness for too long after his subordinates' deaths. Although Sarah and Hatano aren't here anymore, I'll be sure to take care of John for both of them.

And I hope Lady Sarah and Lady Hatano are now in the heaven door. Right now, only the three of us are left in the group, we have to move on.

Ah, by the way. After I returned to this world, I remembered something odd. Particularly, I got "odd" memories after I went through a terrible headache when I woke up. Nothing was serious until I went to sleep.

In my dream, I saw myself and John. Both of us were in love or something, but we were in a warring country. Somehow in that dream, I saw John guiding me to use a rifle or something... it's strange.

But due to lack of information about this thing, I have no idea what was that odd dream saying. I think when I meet John again, I'll ask him.

Yeah, I will surely ask J-

"Please go on, Ms. Frieden!". - All of sudden, a loud voice of a woman woke me up from thinking around

"Eh...?". - I got bewildered, then looked around

"Ms. Frieden, can you hear me?". - Oh, the one who asked me is a magic teacher of this elven's school, Tisia. "Just a spell, cast a simple one".

"Uhh...". "Please wait a bit".

Then I go on thinking about why do I get here.....

Yeah, I went to this school with the only purpose was to walk around. Then a teacher came to me and... Ahh, I remember how I got here!

Well, I was thinking about going to the school's library. But in the end, a teacher was in need of a practicer for her new magic learning students, so she asked me. How the hell did I accept to go in? Sigh...

"I'm sorry, Ms. Tisia, please tell me again".

"Please teach these children how to cast a spell, Ms. Frieden". "A very simple spell... a "Fireball", perhaps". - That teacher raised her hand to something behind me, as if to ask me to look in that direction

I turn around, then see a long green field ahead. This seems to be a training room in the school, it's times wider than the one in my old school. Before me are bunches of wooden scarecrows, placed in the middle of the field, away from each other 2 - 3, meters.

"Remember, children". - Oh, She's making a speech to the kid students when I'm standing before the magic shooting range. "Magic has five elements: Fire, Water, Wind, Earth and "non-attribute", the rarest". "Depends on your parents' elements, most of us will have at least 2 elements naturally when we were born". "Most of us will have two, while the talent ones will have more". " "Fire" is the most common magic one, next is "Water" ".

"When you want to cast a spell, you need to have the method in your mind...". "Since all of you are in the Beginner level, children... it'll take you some time". "Raise your hand, aim at the target, have the spell in your mind, close your eyes...". "Then... say out the spell, wait for the time the spell gets released...".

"Please go on, Ms. Frieden... perform to the children...". - Understood, Ms. Tisia

I stand straight, looking at four targets ahead. I raise my right hand, locking targets then slowly cast the spell. Since I've mastered this spell as a Master, I can cast it with both eyes open, and have immediate result. But, I want to do it slowly to let these children know to do it properly... alright, let's do it.

Because the ground is full of grass, one mistake can cause a big wildfire. I'll reduce the power of my "Fireball" spell. From this angle, students can't see me open my eyes or not so I'm not afraid of the accuracy of my spell to the targets.

"Fireball". - I've already mastered this skill so don't need to cast the spell, but I'll do it slowly for these elementary students

"Spurt! Spurt! Spurt! Spurt!". - Four round fireballs with arrow shapes immediately spurted out of my palm as I finished the spell

They fly to the targets, separate from each other then hit the targets. Four marks on the targets' centers, the fire is now expanding slowly on the wooden scarecrows... nice.

A few seconds later, a group of elven school guards gets inside the field. They turn off the fire then move those burned scarecrows away. Those objects are replaced by new ones shortly.

"That's how it goes, children". - I looked back to see the teacher, she was lecturing. "When you master this spell, you can cast it with your eyes open, no saying out the spell". "You can also control the spell's direction to hit the target more accurately". "For the Beginner, it needs about 10 to 15 seconds to cast a spell... difficult, isn't it?".

The kid students who sit on the chair lines, they are very focusing on the lesson. However, maybe because of me or something like that, these kids are shy to make questions. Some can be seen having their hands up, but later hands down silently. Poor these kids.

"However, magic's perimeter is limited". - Ms. Tisia started lecturing again. "When it goes to a certain distance, the magic vanishes... there's no way to extend its perimeter yet till this time". "Maybe in the future, children... you will find out the way to break the limitations that the Goddess created for our magic system".

"For this example, let's take Ms. Reimi to our next experience, okay?". - She smiled at the kids, then handed me something... eh?

"It's a magic stick, children". "With this thing, you can cast the spell without saying out, even when you're at the Beginner level". "She'll perform the next spell "Waterball" for all of you". "Shoot it up the sky, then watch how it vanishes...".

"Hey... teacher". - I got close to her, whispering. "Is it alright? I don't have Water element". - Done hearing what I said, the teacher stared at me as if she had just lost her mood

"Hey, children...". - She looked at the kids, smiling at them although she was a bit disappointed. "Ms. Reimi seems to be busy right now, so I'll do it instead". "Hehe...". - She took the magic stick out of my hand, and kept smiling

"What should I do, I don't have it too...". - I have no idea how to deal with it, teacher

"Hey, children, what's about changing to another spell?". - I told the kids, then returned to speak with the teacher

"I hope you won't be unpleasant, Miss". "It's bad when I have to ask you this, but can I go now?".

"Oh, sorry". "I've troubled you, Miss... by the way, this". - All of sudden, Ms. Tisia pulled out a small brown bag from her pocket. "This is not much, but please take it...". - She poured about 20 mini wooden rectangular planks into her hand, then gave them to mine

"Wait, is this money?". "Please, Miss, I did nothing big but you gave me this much".

"I've troubled you a lot, I can't ask anyone to work without paying them". "Please take the money, it's not much...".

"But...". - Honestly, the three of us now don't have money... although this is not much, but if I take it...

"Unless you volunteer, earlier I asked you to so please... take the money, Miss".

"Thanks, Ms. Tisia...". - I bowed to her then received the coins

"I know you're new in this village... people here used to have a bad view on humans...". "Nothing nothing". - The teacher waved her hand, told me to forget what she said. "I've just stepped into this career, so don't have much experience...". "Oh, sorry... now I have to go back".

I don't have even a second to say goodbye to this teacher, but I think I shouldn't disturb her work time. I step out of the training room in silence. Alright, now I must head to the library. But I wonder where is the place right now.

I don't have a money bag, so have to store these coins in somewhere. Don't know where to store the coins, I look around then see a guard. Hmmm... should I ask him? But I hope nothing goes wrong when I do that.

"Hey, Sir...". - I approached him, the guard saw me

"You need something, Lady?". - His eyes changed a bit when he saw me, but at least he didn't say anything meanie

"So a teacher just had given me some coins when I helped her, but I don't know how t...". "May I trade for a bag, Sir?".

"Nod...". "Have a few empty ones". - He showed me an empty brown cloth bag. "Hmmm... one Elfe". - Elfe...? The name of the currency?

"Like this?". - I put a coin in his palm, and he replied with a nod

"Thanks, Sir". - I slowly took the bag, then poured the coins inside it. "One more thing, Sir, can you show me the way to the library...?". - When I finished, I strapped the bag to my belt

"There...". - He pointed to the destination, I focused on his finger's direction. "The left room without a door, the big entrance, that's the library".

"Thanks, Sir". - I bowed to him a bit, then walked away

I start moving to the place where that elven guard told me to be a library. Walking in the hallway, I can sense many unseen glances at me. These elves are so sensitive, they keep their distance from me when I go too close to their way, hmmm.

"Hey... why there's a human here?". - I heard someone whispering. "What...? They were found collapsed in front of the village...? At night?". - I tried to pretend like I didn't hear anything, but... I can't. "The prophet took them in...? She's too kind". "What if they have bad intentions with us?".

I cover my ears then go straight to the library right away, immediately. However, I lose my way so I get diverted to a group of walking students. Oh, not good. I'm gonna pump into those guys when I lose my control, I must avoid that consequence.

But so lucky, those elven students stay away from the path I'm going. I manage to hold a wall, then I keep my balance by going holding the wall till I reach the library.

On the top of the library's entrance has a wooden sign, saying "Tukutukutuku". Honestly, I can't read those words at all. They may be the native language of the elves.

I come inside when a group of scholars, maybe. Those scholars are coming out, their look when they see me, has some kind of grudge, I think. But they stay away to let me go through. Their way of looking may be meanie, but they don't do anything bad to me at all.

I come into the library then start walking around, I also keep my distance from other elven students. They don't mind me, but they stay away when I come too close to 'em. Hmmmm... I just wonder where is the library's observer... I can't find one.

"Hey, hi...". - I'm so embarrassed! I've just opened a talk with an elven student. "May I ask you something, girl? Just... do I have to... pay for reading here?".

"Shakes head". - The female student shook her head. "Free to read, 1 coin to borrow a book for a day". "Can only stay here... 6 hours to be the most".

"Thanks, thanks...". - I clumsily turned around then deepened myself in a shelf

I see that there are many books here for me to roam and read. I can see some people are here just to read. However, I must keep my distance with them, elves don't like humans.

"Hmmmm...". - I walked past some bookshelves, thinking about what should I read

I see these bookshelves have classified boards on top of every shelf. But I can't read any words at all, it's quite bad. Maybe I should grab a random book. I pick one on a shelf then move away... I get to a dark corner to read.

I open the book, then flip through pages. I can't read anything at all, words in the book are just "Tuku" things. Although I can't read the book, I somehow get it about this book's contents. It seems to be about historical events.

I can see the illustrations in the book, but it'll be more interesting if I can read the elves' language. I can understand and communicate with the elves easily thanks to drinking the Holy green water in the village's lake.

But it can't help my eyes to translate these words into my homeland's language. It's a sad thing that I have to admit.

I keep flipping the pages till I stop at one page. I want to read this book, even just a little bit is very alright to me.

With my love for history and geography, I love to know about new lands and their backgrounds, which I've never seen in my life. Sadly, since I was born to be a ruler's guard, I don't have my own freedom to have a journey. But with books, I can somehow imagine the lands written on 'em. That's all I want from reading books.

I keep thinking about the way to read this thing. And I accidentally glance at Hatano's Advisor - which is strapped to my wrist. John's subordinates have died, so both of their devices now belong to Her Highness and me.

Enjoying this book? Seek out the original to ensure the author gets credit.

I feel bad for Lady Sarah when she died. About her older sister, not really sad. That hag, to me truly, she was an insolent, arrogant and narcissistic woman. However, she is dead, so I can't keep my grudge for too long.

I just wonder if I can use Advisor to help me with the book's translation. The device hasn't been turned on yet. Maybe it's worth trying, today Her Highness let me be free.

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Right now, I'm standing outside of the village's school. Advisor managed to translate texts from the book. I read it and enjoyed its contents till half an hour later, I assume.

I don't know since when, the library was flooded with elven students. That time was their rest moment or something, many students came inside the library. Because I felt nervous and hard to adapt, I decided to go away from the school.

"Sigh...". - Feeling regretted, just know to look back at the school from outside

Maybe I'll return here again when I have time. I wanted to borrow the book but was scared that it would cause trouble in the library... sigh.

"Ah...". - All of sudden, I heard someone tapping my shoulder from behind

I turn back, and see John is behind me. He makes a serious face for no reason, then glances at the school.

"I went all around just to find you, Reimi". - Then he pulled out a wide bag, taking out something. "Here...". - John handed me a round bag, inside was a very hot corn, it looks so delicious

"Where's Her Highness, my Lord?".

"At home, she's sleeping". - John strapped the food bag to his belt. "Let's go home, Yura's cooking something". - Then he started walking on the path, I followed John

Both of us walk home together peacefully, and I'm now wondering. It's about the corn thing in my hands, John bought it for me. Or maybe I should say he bought it for Her Highness and me too.

"Chews... chews... swallows". - Hmmm... its taste is nice. "Chews... chews... chews... chews... chews... swallows". - This corn... I wonder where John picked this thing

"My Lord, how did you get these things?".

"Oh, I bought it... taste good?". - John glanced at me when he was going. "I helped some locals here, and they gifted me some coins, so I bought these... cheap". - He showed me the inside of the food bag, only one corn cake left

"Where's your part?".

"I ate it when I was on my way, this one is for Shera...". - John stored the bag on his belt once again

Both of us go silent and focus on the road ahead. Strangely, John slowly goes closer to me when I was eating the corn. He grumbles his face a bit, then stops it. I pretend to neglect John and keep eating the food in my hands silently.

"What's that thing...?". - All of sudden, John asked me something odd

"Eh?". - I stopped eating the corn cake

"The bag...". - Oh, he was curious about my money bag

"Well... I went to the school just to see the library, and someone asked for my help". - Hmmm... somehow John's eyeballs got wider when he heard "someone" from me

"........". - Now he is silent, but not a normal silence... it makes me a bit nervous, sometimes I feel... fear

"After I helped her, she gave me some money too". "I just traded an empty bag with a local, to have thing to store the money".

"Was that a man?". - Hmmm... I don't know what's happening to John, he is jealous or something?

"Just a local woman". - I hate it, but I had to lie to him this time. "By the way, you're too close to me, my Lord...".

John doesn't seem to care about what I said. But I decide to skip this unpleasant part. Then I return to eat the corn cake till the food is fully stuffed inside me. The empty corn bag, I'll dump it somewhere has trash cans.

"Ummm...". - What should I do right now? John's patting my head slowly

"I'm sorry but we have to keep our distance...". Honestly, not because I don't love John, but because his wife never wants to share him or let me have him

"I just care about you... nothing goes wrong". - John grabbed my waist, then got me closer to him. "I think you should rest these days and wait for the result, Reimi". "You wanna have a child... now it's time for you to rest and notice the difference inside your body".

"Please don't...". - I kept myself away from John a bit

"............". - John didn't say anything anymore. ".............". - Now he just held my waist while walking with me

"In case it doesn't succeed... tell me and we'll do it again".

"We should keep our distance, my Lord...". - I gently pushed John away, then kept my distance from him

We go silent and I neglect John entirety. I walk faster with the hope to return to Yura's house with my focus. John keeps up with me, he doesn't go closer but just glances at me. I lower my face, but John keeps looking.

"I'm sorry if I had... troubled you, Reimi...". - John, now please keep silent till we get home in peace. "In your next go to library, I'll escort you there if you like, okay...?". - John kept asking me, but I just kept silent and kept walking forward without stopping it

I don't answer John, and I sense that he is intending to go closer to me. I was right. He's here, trying to hold my right hand. I do love John, but now I want to wait for the time until Her Highness approves me to do.

"I know you're sad when you can't come to me". "Me too, my subordinates are dead... both of them were annoying sometimes but at least they added moods for us". "We are sad, Reimi... please let me go closer, I won't do anything". - Before he finished, he had already closed to my position

"Please... just one minute is enough to warm m-".

"What are you doing?!!!". - An angry voice came out ahead

We stop moving then look up to see the person. But before I look up, I've already seen Her Highness approaching John. She ignores me and comes to her husband. She starts whispering to him as if to question him... his wife is now quite jealous.

"We were just walking too close, nothing went wrong, Shera, so pleas-".

"I saw you getting closer to her clearly...". - His wife tried to control her jealousy, she talked lowly. "What of mine is not good as hers, John...?". "Please tell me and I'll change, you won't have to follow her to satisfy you anymore".

"That was just a misunderstanding, please".

"Why are you lying...?". "Sobs...! Sobs...! Sobs...!". - Hmmm... I think I will let this married couple handle their issue on their own

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I neglect their talkings and time goes by. We're now at the front door of Yura's house. Before opening the door, I peek behind to see Her Highness and her husband. Their relationship seems to have improved... that's good.

There wasn't an argument or anything loud occur when she was questioning her faithless husband. John is now doing his best to calm down his wife, Her Highness is now still jealous and a bit mad. They will need a while to "confide" and "make peace" in their bedroom, I think.

"Hmmm...". - Her Highness looked at her husband, again with her jealous eyes. "Reimi, give us a moment...". - Oh, now she wants to be alone with her husband

"Nod...". - I just nodded, then opened the door to get inside the house

I close the door and start peeking and eavesdropping them right away. From what I hear right now, Her Highness is kissing her husband slowly. They later have a little talk, maybe it's about making up in their relationship.

"I said... leave us alone...". - Somehow Her Highness knew that I was watching her making up with her husband

I stay away from the door, then start minding my own things in the house. Yura is not in the living room, huh? She may be in the kitchen, must find her right away.

This treehouse is not so big, every room is away not too far to walk in. The living room is next to the kitchen. However, I don't see any footsteps or sounds from that other side. Yura is a silent woman, isn't she...?

"Ohh...? Lady Yura...?". - I walked into the kitchen, but didn't see her

I can see some cooking tools on the kitchen desk, things like food ingredients are fully placed inside a pot. The stone furnace below the desk hasn't been used, it's odd when she isn't here.

The dining table is full of empty bowls and eating tools. Yura, for some reason, had dropped off her cooking intention to go to do something else. Now I feel a bit worried about Yura.

She left her job without leaving us a letter or anything to let us know. This half-elf lady is in danger right now. Must find her and immediately rescue... wait wait wait, I saw something.

I see a small paper sheet on the kitchen desk. I pick up the thing and start reading it. Hmmm... I see. The prophet left her cooking purpose for a particular future intention.

Ummm... hey, everyone.

I'm sorry, I won't be home for a while now. Some locals came to my house and gave me some news. They said our Elder is on his way to the village after a long trip visiting the Land of God along with other Elders.

I'll be home as soon as I receive my Goddess' gift part from the Elder's hands. About the potatoes and the meal, please wait for me and we'll have a nice meal together.

I'm sorry when I left that suddenly. I'll be home soon.

Signed

Yura Jung Zaira Anderson

After reading the letter, I glance at the unfinished preparation meal on the kitchen desk before leaving the room. I head outside of the door, I'll tell Her Highness and John to wait for the prophet till she goes home.

"Oh... what's wrong?". - Right after I came out, Shera had just come inside the house

"Lady Yura isn't home right now, my Highness".

"But she was here when I went to find both of y-".

"Here". - I showed Shera and John the letter, written by Yura before she went away

Both of them read the letter, then soon get out of the girl's house in silence. John doesn't say to us where we are going. Her Highness follows her husband, so do I when I follow them from behind.

"I'm curious what is it about". - John told us while walking on the path. "We'll go to the entrance to see the old man, then pick up the prophet".

"The street seems to be empty, John...". - Her Highness looked around the street, then told us about her opinion. "We'll go there to pick up our friend, now go faster, Reimi". - Her Highness told me to keep up

I start going faster than usual, then I lead the way to the village's entrance. The roads around the place seem to be empty, villagers have gone to somewhere, they're not here.

When we're going to the village's entrance, I can hear Shera and John talking from behind. They seem to be discussing the letter. When Her Highness spots me watching her and her husband, she waves to tell me to look away.

I keep my eyes on the road then keep walking, as fast as I can to the place. A few minutes pass, and I finally spot some signs of people. Those elven villagers are lining up. They line up in a vertical line, and go up slowly, they also stay silent.

"What are they doin' ?". - John seemed to be curious, he watched the crowd lining up

I don't understand why they have to line up. Then I try to find out the reason behind it. Then I look at the crowd closely, I later spot a villager running back to the inside of the village. Nothing is worth talking about until I see the man's back has a brown bag.

"Mister, what are you doing?". - I opened my question to the man

"People are gathering to receive the Goddess' gifts, now I've had it". - The man got out of my way, he was in a hurry to run back home. "Please, Lady, I don't know if humans can join or not, but line up if you like". - He asked me to let off him when I grabbed his wrist. "Now I'm busy, the village's gonna have a party tonight, let me go...".

I let the villager go away, then return to watch the huge crowd lining up. On the right side, that's the line where the huge crowd is lining up. While on the left side, the people who have received the gifts will return to the village in that way.

"Should we line up and come up to find Lady Yura, my Lord?". - I turned behind to ask John

"Shakes head".

"We'll stand here to wait for her to return, Reimi". - Her Highness ordered me to follow her husband's order

Not so long later, the three of us come to a tree then pick it as a place for us to stand and wait for Yura. The number of people from the crowd keeps increasing then lowering when people go home after they receive their gifts. Though we stand under the tree to wait for the prophet, she's unseen till now.

The crowd is lowering slowly, but we haven't seen the prophet yet. She hasn't returned to the village by using the left side road yet. Maybe we should do something now. John and Shera keep looking at the returning crowd and have some anxiety toward Yura.

"Let's go, we must find her". - John told us to find the prophet

We leave the tree's position then start walking toward the village's entrance. On the way, we see a group of elven villagers, but can't find Yura mixing in that group at all. Maybe I should ignore those people and rush faster to the village's entrance.

"You guys see the prophet?!". - All of sudden, John asked those villagers

But those villagers look at us as if they're wondering who we are to them. Of course, they will hesitate, or be cautious since we're strangers in this village, can't be trusted.

"She's outside of the entrance, helping the elder!". - They yelled to give us the info when we were far from them

"Thanks!". - John said back to them, then the three of us ran toward the entrance

We reach the place shortly. But those people's testifies were right since Yura wasn't here at all. Instead, we see a group of people standing outside of the village's entrance, they gather around. When we get close to see them, they appear to be elven village soldiers.

"Here's your part, prophet". - An old man's voice came out from a person who was wearing a black cloak, he gave the one beside him a brown bag

"Thanks, Elder". - Wait... is that Yura? So the one who gave her the bag was the village chief?

Yura later goes back to the village's entrance. The prophet spots us and soon smiles to greet us, she then approaches us and stops at us. I raise my hands, telling her to let me hold the bag on behalf of her, but she refuses.

"Let's go home, I'm sorry when I got late than usual". - Yura started walking onward, on her way to go home. "Hmmm... you guys don't follow me?". - She stopped then looked back, wondering

"What happened earlier exactly?". - John opened the question instead of us

"People gathered here to receive gifts and return home". "It's our tradition here when the Elder returns after his trip to Land of God".

"C'mon, let's go home, guys".

"Wait for me a bit". - John asked the prophet to go home first, while he approached the village chief and the guards

"I'm sorry, but I'll follow him". - Shera also followed her husband, I had no choice but to follow my ruler

I bow low to the prophet to apologize, then keep up to follow Shera. The three of us get outside of the village. Village chief can be seen chatting and gifting bags to the elven guards. They thank the old man, some stay to chat with him, and some go to his back for some reason.

We go closer. Then I see from the back of the village chief, there are dozens of horses with empty packages plugged in their backs. Those guards are getting on the horses with the purpose to move them inside the village safely.

"Hey, Elder!". - John greeted the village chief with a loud voice, seems like he didn't know how to greet him properly at this moment

To greet the old man, we make a light bow and keep walking to him.

"Ohh...". - The old man saw us, and he seemed to be surprised or something

"I'm quite busy right now, please get inside...". - He was quite confused, but still calm enough to order the guards to move inside the village

Those guards seem to be a bit cautious when they see us, but soon ignore us then mind their duties. When those men are moving the horses inside the village, the old man approaches us silently.

"That's unbelievable...". "How... how did you get here? You were missing...". - The old man looked at us closely, couldn't believe his eyes

"The prophet didn't tell you anything, Sir?". - Addressing him "elder" might be a bit disrespectful to me, so I chose to call him "Sir" instead

"She said she would tell me something when I met her at home...". - The village chief put his hand on his chin. "Hmmm... was it about...?".

"Nod". - The three of us nodded to answer him

"Then it's quite complicated right now". - The old man started walking around us, sometimes he sighed. "His Majesty is on his way here, now I've known the reason". - He glanced at John, and felt a bit odd. "Hero... where are your men? Aren't here...?".

"Nod...". - John was quite hesitated to talk now

"They parted ways with us, Elder, we'll see 'em again when they solve their private problems".

"Ah, I see...". - The village chief stopped walking. "At first, their words were so... complicated for me to understand the meanings...".

"What do you mean, Sir?". - John asked the old man

"The Apostles, the Apostles... they reminded me of those Goddess' words...". - The old man kept explaining. "It's serious now... we need to open a Grand Meeting, His Majesty and all Elders will have to join". "No no no... the meeting may expand to continents... it's gonna be big".

"Can you tell me further?".

"Yes, of course". - The village chief approached John, then grabbed his shoulders. "That happened in earlier days, before we returned here from the Land of God". "The last reminding of those Apostles... said about you".

"They'll return, but the sky will shake the earth, death will come down to all of you". "Go see the Apostles".

"I'm tired to keep this world... too boring... I'll watch it die".