Chapter 186: Sick Love (Part 1)
Rigen's perspective
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Urrrghhhhhhhhh! Every time I closed my eyes to sleep, there would be something bad in my dream, I would say it was a very bad nightmare. A week ago as I remembered, I woke up without knowing anything about myself but the name John, shortly I met 3 women who claimed to be my close acquaintances.
The three of them were named: Shera, Reimi, Sarah. Later I met a girl named Shizuka but I prefer calling her by her surname Hatano.
Among the three of them, there were two who always appeared in my dream every time I go to sleep, the blonde woman was the one I was scared of the most, a sick crazy. Strangely that I hadn't seen her in my dream today, I could see that I was very lucky to get out of that nightmare, didn't want to face it again, I swear to God!
After encountering those four women, the blonde woman who claimed to be my wife was named Shera briefed me that I lost my memory. According to her briefing, I was a Lord who owns the castle and the region named Veta, under me were both of my subordinates named Sarah and Hatano, the red-haired woman was the blonde woman's servant.
Because I was bewildered and didn't know what to do so I randomly picked Hatano to be the second in command while I was resting before returning to take over the command. Because I saw that black-haired woman was intelligent and swift in her job. About her brown-haired little sister - Sarah, seemed to be a bit silly so I didn't let her replace me.
Strangely that the woman named Reimi, Shera and Sarah protested my decision and together voted for the blonde woman to take the command. But I kept keeping that decision so Hatano later replaced me, those women were so odd to protest an intelligent like Hatano to be my second Commander.
After voting, Hatano left the room and went on working or something while Sarah and others stayed with me with the purpose to cure me. Shortly after a few hours, Sarah also left the room to return to her land to take care of the affairs while Reimi and Shera stayed with me.
Honestly that I also wanted to be friendly with the blonde woman and Reimi but the way they cared about me too considerate made me doubt...hard to believe them. Their caring was very honest but I felt unsafe, as if they were faking, I didn't feel safe to be taken care of in that way...as if I didn't get used to living with kind people.
I felt very regretted beating the one who claimed to be my wife, because I didn't want to be disturbed but she kept caring about me...poor her. My conscience also had its regret so I intended to apologize to Shera a day after the incident but...now I was pretending to scare her away, it had a reason behind it.
"Urrghhhh!". - Right at the time I wanted to say about, this nightmare had come once again
I opened my eyes and realized that I was in somewhere dark, this nightmare was a bit different from the previous ones because I was supposed to wake up in an abandoned castle, not this strange place. While trying to look around the place, I saw a bit of light which seemed to be lit by the candles and a wooden lantern sitting on the tables beside me, but still very dark.
The floor seemed to be made of wood, the windows seemed to be blocked by wooden plates which were tightly strapped on them, so shabby. This wooden room was quite shabby because I saw some cracked sides on the floor, the wooden roof exposed some cracked holes which had the light lit inside the room.
"Ummmmm! Ummm!". "Umm! Ummmm!". - I tried to make a sound while moving myself and later realized that I was unable to do that
I looked around my body and noticed that both of my hands and my legs had been tied by the ropes and I was tied to a wooden chair, so annoying. Not yet, my mouth had a cloth that was blocking it or something, the cloth was strapped to it, which made me could not open my mouth.
While moving on the chair with the intention of loosing the ropes which were tying my hands to the chair's arms and my legs on the chair's legs. Slowly I realized that my feet were wearing shoes that seemed to be made of metal, the sounds when I was trying to move echoing the room because of the metal shoes.
"John...are you in there...?" - While trying to escape, I heard a very low voice from someone who called me
It sounded from the room's door so I immediately went on cautious about the person outside of the door, someone had just called my name. Later the door had been opened slowly and a dark figure showed up, that was Reimi. She looked so worried while sneaking toward me.
"John...don't worry, I will save you...wait for me". - Reimi asked me not to move while crouching toward me, she was sneaking with her barefoot to not cause sounds
After sneaking toward me, Reimi stood up and I saw her pale face exposed terribly, her eyes kept staring at me as if she was shocked to see me or something, what's wrong?. While staring at Reimi, I was curious so I looked closer at my body and was shocked to see my hands were skinny...as if I lost a lot of my weight, I knew the reason now.
"John...kisses!" - Reimi kissed my cheek while holding my palm tightly, something terrible had happened to my body in this nightmare
"Don't worry, I'll save you quickly...don't sound anything". "She is searching for me, I must save you fast and escape...". - Reimi later pulled out a dagger which was strapped to her right side's chest and pulled out the cloth which was blocking my mouth
"One year must very rough for you, John...I wished I escaped alone on that day, that's all my fault to let you be like this". - She was saying to me as if she was very regretted while putting the dagger to the ropes which were tying my legs
Reimi swiftly cut off the ropes and changed to point her dagger at the ropes which were tying my hands, I thought I would be saved but. Seemed like I must rethink because the door was being left open while someone was walking inside silently.
I spot a blonde figure who seemed to be a woman walking inside the room silently, the door was not closed but left opening when Reimi breached inside, shit!. The one who was silently approaching Reimi from behind was Shera, her right hand was holding a bloody knife - that was a bayonet which was named M9.
"Urrrrrgggghhhh!". - Reimi wanted to yell but she could not, Shera grabbed her mouth and split her throat by using the bayonet
"Urrghhh...my...Highness...urrrghhh...". - After her throat was sliced, Reimi turned her eyeballs to the one who harmed her while sounding unintelligible words to her
The blood kept draining out non-stop from Reimi's throat, she stared at me for the last time before being stabbed in the back and fell to the floor which blood lying around the room, she was dead. This scene was not the first time I saw it, I had seen similar scenes like this one in previous nightmares, just a bit different that Reimi resisted Shera before being stabbed to death.
"I told you not to come here again anymore, Reimi...but you kept coming here...". "I honestly didn't want to kill you...if you wanted to meet John then I would but...to save him...". - Shera stared at her dead servant while saying as if she was very regretted
Shera later went silent and stared at me while holding the bloody bayonet, she wiped her tears and tried to smile as if she wanted to forget about the entire previous incident. Wait a minute...there was a key on Shera's right waist, must be used for something. Shera shortly approached me so I looked away because she would surely intend to do something bad to me, I think!
"John...please forgive me, I don't want you to see this scene". - Shera crouched toward me and grabbed my face
"Kiss!" - What a sick woman, she just had killed her servant and now was kissing me while behind her was a corpse
"I was preparing more soups for you and Reimi came, she sneaked in here so I searched for her...sorry when I left you starved, John".
"I will...take care of her, please erase Reimi out of your mind, John...". "It's been a year since the war, we got split up while escaping, Sarah and Hatano must be searching for you now". "Now only you're the last one alive, I only have you left, John...please don't leave me". - She cuddled my face while telling me something that I didn't know
"Today I managed to hunt some rabbits, you won't have to vomit anymore, John". "Please wait for me, I'll prepare for you some soups". - Shera said to me and moved to Reimi's corpse, she later dragged her outside the room while the blood stains were marking the entire floor
"Hurry, John...hurry, hide the knife before she returns". - While Shera was dragging Reimi's corpse away from the room, a very low voice told me to hide something
The door was shortly being closed so I immediately lowered my head to see what was the previous meaning of that unidentified speaker. After a short time looking, I spot a dagger that was lying beside my right foot, it must have been Reimi's dagger, Shera didn't see it when she stabbed Reimi to death.
I could surely use this weapon for my escaping...but at first, that crazy woman would return to this room in a short time, must hide the dagger. Because my legs had been removed from the ropes so I could move them easily, I leaned my right foot toward the dagger and managed to press on it...now where should I hide the dagger?
I didn't have much time to think so I pulled it behind the right side of the chair's leg and left the dagger in there. Just hope that my plan would work...otherwise, Shera would remember about the dagger and then retake it from me, what a bad scenario.
After hiding the dagger, I looked around the room to see if there was anything that could be useful for my escape or not, must find it. So I turned around and shortly saw an empty bowl from the right table, myself in the nightmare must have been fed before.
But I hope he wouldn't be fed with things I used to eat in my previous nightmares, the woman Shera was just a sick. I was wondering when I would wake up from this bad dream. Maybe a few minutes later, I think so...
"Sorry for letting you wait, John...". - The door had been opened once again and Shera walked in with a bowl in her right hand
Shera slowly approached me with the soup bowl in her hand, she looked around as if she was looking for something though her expression did not look like she was cautious. Maybe I was too overthinking because this blonde woman just simply took a wooden round chair and put it in front of me and then sat on it.
"I'm sorry for letting you see Reimi's death, John...if I could have controlled my emotions then...". "I'm sorry...it's the past now, you must be well fed and rest well to regain your health, John". - Shera expressed her regret while cuddling my face
"As I said to you earlier, today I luckily hunted some rabbits, you won't have to vomit anymore, John". - After saying to me, she dug into the soup and then pulled up the spoon
"You must eat well, John...look at you after one year". "Sigh...please don't scare me, earlier Reimi was still alive but now...only you, John". "Don't leave me, I don't want to be away from you, I'll follow you anywhere you want me to...". - Her emotions were quite hard to describe, I didn't know if this woman was honest or fake
"What's in there?". - I asked her because...I used to eat human fleshes in the previous dreams, this woman dragged new corpses home and then cooked them to feed me and herself
"Just rabbits, John...don't worry too much, you won't have to eat humans anymore". - I knew it, but was still doubting the pieces of meat inside the bowl were from the rabbits
"I swear that I didn't kill people or go to the warzone today...please eat to regain your strength, John". - This woman...no, I must go silent and not provoke her or she would kill me for sure
"Please believe me, John...you must eat well and rest well". "Here, please eat something". - Shera asked me to eat while pointing to me the spoon whose surface had a lot of soup water and some slices of meat
Because I didn't want to make her mad so I ate the meal, this kind of dream was so real when I could sense the smells and also the taste of the food. As if I was not in a dream but truly somewhere which had another me with these people...I noticed that the meat was not from humans by its taste...so glad to know.
"So good that you didn't vomit anymore, John...I'm so glad". - Shera cuddled my face when I swallowed the "rabbit's meat" completely
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"John...please eat more". - Shera begged me to eat while giving me more soup
I didn't want to but I forced myself to eat, she kept pointing the spoon at me every time I finished a piece of meat, this crazy woman kept repeating that till the entire bowl was fully empty. After eating the meal, Shera put the bowl on the right side table and hugged me tightly, she pressed her face around my chest while sniffing it morbidly, go away, you crazy!
"Sniff! Sniff! Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!". - She was sniffing my chest like a crazy
"You so smell, John...sorry for locking you here for days, you tried to escape again so I...please don't make me mad". - Shera slowly patted my clumsy hair while hugging me
"I know my head has something wrong so I...eating people is very disgusting but I had no choice but to save you and myself, even Reimi". "You lost memory till this day but I didn't care, I'll help you no matter what...John".
"But Reimi...what a betrayer, she grabbed you with her, intending to escape and leave me behind...". - This crazy woman hugged me for a few more seconds and then got off me
"This time is not dawn yet so you can rest till the morning, John". "There's a river outside, I will release you and we will bathe together, you look so smell these days".
After speaking to me, she looked around the room and then looked down at the floor...she was checking on the falling dagger, huh?!. After a short time looking, Shera lifted her right hand to look at the screen of Advisor - this guy claimed to be a device of mine, he was now strapped to Shera's hand.
"I forgot that Reimi left a dagger here when she died, where is it, Advisor?". - Shit!
"I saw Reimi hold it even when she died, Shera".
"Really?".
"Yes, of course". - At least this buddy could lie very well
"I'll check on Reimi later". - Shera stopped talking to Advisor and then cuddled my face
"Kiss!" - She kissed me sweetly though I was very disgusting to her, I must escape fast!
"John...the time for me to regain your health must be long but I'll do my best to help you, please recover soon". "Even if your memory can't come back, it doesn't matter because I only need you". - Shera cuddled my face while staring at me deeply
"After regaining your health, we'll bury Reimi and then restart our new life...that's so lucky to me when I managed to find this abandoned place".
"We'll rebuild this place in a short time in our future, later have kids and live together in this forest...together forever".
"John, please give me some advice...if we have a daughter, is it a good thing to name her after Reimi?". - I would surely beat her if my hands were not being tied, goddammit!
"John...please say something, don't be cold to me". - Shera softly said to me while cuddling my face
"Shut the fuck off! Don't get close to me, you fucking sick!". - I yelled at her because she was too close to me
"Ahhhhh!". - She was quite shocked when I yelled at her so she stayed away while trying to calm me down
"Ummm...I know you hate me, John...but please don't make me tie you forever". - She lowered her head while pulling out a knife from her back so I was frightened
"Hey, hey! What the fuck are you doing?! Do get close!". - This crazy woman was approaching me with a knife so I thought she was about to stab me to death
"Hey! Don't get close!". - Why did this nightmare last so long? Must do something to get out!
"Please don't hurt me, John".
"Noooooooo!". - Shera was too close to me, she slowly pointed the knife at my face
But suddenly, she pointed the knife to the chair's arms to cut the ropes, my hands and my legs had been freed that way. Because I was still frightened so I didn't want to provoke this crazy girl, she slowly cuddled my face and grabbed two bowls on the table, shortly walking to the door as if she wanted to leave.
"I hope you will feel more comfortable when you are not being tied, John...there's a bed over there, why don't you lie there to rest till the morning?".
"I'll prepare for you more soups and water, you must be very hungry and thirsty, John". "After eating, both of us will sleep together and then bathe together outside, what do you think about it?".
"Just please don't try to escape, you used to do that and I don't want to see that". "I mean...that's why I had to tie you down that roughly, please cooperate with me and you'll be free someday, John". - Shera confided to me softly and slowly closed the door
How stupid she was for releasing me from the chair, now I must escape fast or she would return here once again. But before doing anything else, my body felt to be a bit hard and hurt as if it was adapting to get used to acting on other postures after a long time being tied to the chair.
"Urrrghhh! Fuck...". - I stretched my body a bit while trying to endure the pain, as if this body had been tied 12 to 24 hours in a day, goddammit!
After adapting to my skinny body, I crouched down to the chair and grabbed the dagger from behind the chair's leg. Now I had a weapon to protect myself so I didn't have to be scared of her anymore.
"Shit...tch!". - Now I noticed that the metal shoes I was wearing were quite noisy and heavy, this place was also empty so the sounds from their echoes were quite much
So I crouched down with the intention to remove the metal shoes from my legs but that was impossible... two holes seemed to be keyholes on the shoes' surfaces. That meant I must have to face that crazy woman or will have to find a key which use to open these locked shoes, the previous dreams were not that difficult.
Knowing that I was about to face dangerous things, I sneaked to the closed door slowly while watching my steps, the echoes could be reduced by walking carefully. After heading to the door, I grabbed the door's handle and opened it...wait a minute, this door was fully locked from outside, I must do something to get out of here!
I fastly thought about using the dagger so I put the dagger's blade into a loophole in the door and then tried to unlock it with the dagger. After a short time trying, I realized that my muscles were not as strong as I wanted so I used more force to unlock the door, this dagger was a bit rusted so I hope it could endure the pressure or would be broken.
"Cracks!". - The door had finally been unlocked but the blade of the dagger had been broken after doing the job
This dagger was now just a useless thing because its blade was not sharp enough to hit anyone anymore, dropping it and would be a better choice. I shortly put the dagger on the floor and then walked outside and saw a very terrible scene, the lines of Reimi's blood stain were marked a very long line.
The place I saw was a hallway that was very dark and gloomy, the scene forwards of me looked to be a dense dark fog that was covering the entire building I was staying in. Maybe I must be a bit struggling to see the path to go, I would go around to find a weapon first before thinking about something else...this place must have a way out.
After having the plan, I slowly walked into the hallway while looking around the place to see if there was anything that I could use to escape. But nothing useful was found in my path, I could see some windows were giving me some details of the scenery outside though they were densely blocked by the wooden plates, not much info.
The sounds from the metal shoes were still echoing as usual though I was doing my best to reduce the sounds. This crazy woman could according to the echoes to find me so I must get rid of these shoes before thinking about getting out of this place.
After walking for a short time, I saw routes in the hallway so I picked the right side route and walked there while trying to be as silent as possible. Because this place didn't have a blood trail so I chose to walk here, Shera must be preparing for the meals or she was doing something to Reimi's corpse...
This wooden building seemed to be wide according to me. Till this time, I had noticed how far I had gone away from the previous room (I hadn't gone too far but at least I had gone out of the room so I must feel lucky to not stay in there for any longer).
Suddenly when I was walking, some footsteps could be heard sounding very loud as if someone was running toward me from behind, not good!. Because there was no place for me to hide so I lay on the ground as low as possible while lying on the right side of the wall's corner, please don't run over here, please!
As I finished my wish, a figure ran past me and then stopped running but slowly walked into the middle of the hallway, going behind and forward for a few seconds, she was scary!. That was Shera, she was lifting the M9 bayonet while pointing her eyes around the hallway as if she was searching for me...I hope I would not be spotted by her.
"Advisor, I didn't see anyone in here...is it a false alarm?". "The signal was still in your screen earlier, but now vanished...tell me". - Shera seemed to be confused so she asked Advisor
"I've the ability to scan for the heartbeats, but...maybe this device has been downgraded, you shouldn't trust me when I face too many errors".
"Then there was no stranger here from the beginning, wasn't it?"
"Yeah..."
"Wait a minute...why John's heartbeat doesn't appear on your screen, Advisor?!" - Shit, she found out about my disappearance or what?!
"That's maybe my error, don't worry".
Maybe I should risk my life for once because she was away from me not so far, just a dozen of meters away and the scene was quite dark so she would not spot me, I hope. Okay...I gulped and then crouched while sneaking slowly out of the hallway, though the metal shoes were still echoing but quite low.
"Who's there?!". "Show up now or die!". - I was startled when this crazy woman pointed her head in the direction I was sneaking
"That was just some wind, Shera...just some wind".
"Wind? I believe in myself more than you, Advisor...". "That must be a stranger for sure...show up now!". - What should I do?
"That was just some wind, don't mind about it, Shera". "Care about John, go check on him if you don't believe my words...".
"Yeah, you're right! John's more important, if there is a stranger here then I must take my husband to somewhere safe first".
After speaking to Advisor, Shera immediately placed her momentum and then ran out of my sight while lifting the knife as if to make a guard or an attack stance for herself. So lucky that I was not spotted because there would not be the next time for this surprise encounter, I must escape now.
I stood up and walked a bit faster in the direction Shera went to because I felt this direction was not so safe for hiding away from her, alright. I must find somewhere to stay inside while that crazy blonde woman was searching for me, I went in the direction which had different routes.
Now I must choose fast the direction that I would head. Must make a quick decision because Shera could return to me every time she wants to, maybe I would follow the blood trail, must give it a try.
"John! Where are you?!". "Advisor, scan his heartbeat right away, he must be somewhere around here!". "John, please show up for me! I won't hurt you, so please!". - I heard a very loud scream from Shera, she had found out that I was not in the room
After hearing her scream, combined with the near location so I picked up a random route and ran there with the purpose to hide. Maybe I should have been more calmed before using my body because the sounds of the metal shoes were echoing very loud when I was running in a random hallway, shit!
Who's there?!" - While running in the hallway, a very loud scream called me
I didn't want to be stabbed to death so I ran as fast as possible though the shoes were heavy and echoing loudly while my body seemed to be a bit exhausted, shit!. But I kept running because there was still a little hope for a guy with a weak body like me, can still running was also a hope for escaping, must not give up because I can escape!
"Arrrghhhhhh!". - The scream kept sounding louder while the footsteps were running toward me at a very fast speed, I was quite tired now!
My body felt so tired, my throat was sore because of thirst while my legs were burning and fatigued because of sprinting madly while wearing these metal shoes. But something had excited my body as I was being chased because some kind of energy had been unleashed in my body. Despite being tired, this body was still fine to run.
"Do not run, I said do not run!". - Shera seemed to be very blind because she didn't know the one she was chasing was me
I sprinted as fast as possible for dozens of seconds while changing my directions to other hallway routes, this building was wide but it had its limitation, it was the end now. So stupid when I chose to run into this dead end. This place seemed to be a library or something, I saw wooden bookshelves all over the place but didn't see any books.
"Haahhhhh! Haahhhh! Haahhhh! Haahhhh! Haahhhhh! Hahhhh!". - I gasped after a short sprint, this body was weak while the mysterious power which buffed my stamina had run away
My body was sweating quite much after running, my legs were burning so I was scared that I could not stand still properly, I grabbed a shelf. Many sweats were dripping out from my body, which wetted the floor where I was tiredly standing. My heart kept beating non-stop while my eyes were swinging around.
"Who is there...? Tell me...". - A very silent but deadly voice sounded in the room, which made my skin shiver
"Who are you? Are you the one who is holding my husband? Tell me...if you release him...you will be left alive...no point in hiding". - Those voices kept sounding while the wooden surfaces were being ripped annoyingly by the knife's blade
I was still gasping very much but I tried to hold my breath while peeking through each bookshelf with the hope to spot crazy Shera to know where was her exact location. Not just that, I also made myself shut up while trying my best to hear the footsteps from Shera...but seemed like I heard nothing, where is she?!
"How did you get here, John?!" - A voice sounded from behind so I was very started to turn behind
After turning behind to look, so shocked that the one who was behind me was Shera. She seemed to be very shocked when I was here, shortly that she used to be a predator but now she acted as if she was not a threat.
Though I was a bit panicked but still tried to calm down while looking around Shera's body, must find more clues to escape, must know about her. Alright...there was a grey key which was strapped to her skirt, her hands and her feet had some dried blood while her hair was clumsy, she was pale but tried to be happy.
Maybe I had figured out how she walked without sounding, because her feet did not wear any shoes so made fewer sounds while walking, a smart one. Because I was near her so I didn't want to provoke her, keeping eye contact with her at this distance was a good choice, must escape wisely.
"Ummm...sorry for scaring you earlier, John...you escaped from me so...". "Don't worry, I forgive you...if you want to go outside for a walk, I can allow it for you, John". - Shera was lowering the bayonet while using her facial expression to calm me down
"Please return to me, hiding from me is not good, we'll bathe together later and I will surely give you a walk". - This crazy woman said to me softly as if she was very considerate
"...". - I went silent as a weapon when I didn't know what to do, Shera was about to cuddle my face but I stepped away from her a bit when she did that
"Ummm...don't worry, John! This knife won't hurt you". - She threw the bayonet aside and then approached me silently
"Umm...I've done your meal but seems like it's getting cold now...are you thirsty, John?". - Should I answer her?
"......nod!". - I slowly nodded, maybe I would lose her distraction by using this way
"Sorry, please let me touch you, it won't hurt, John". - Maybe I should pretend to obey her, despite the knife being on the floor but she would surely back up another one, must be careful
I stood there silently as Shera approached me and cuddled my face, she slowly made a sign to tell me to open my mouth so I did as she ordered. Shortly after that, her palm leaned to my opening mouth and poured some water into my mouth - she was basically using water magic to create the water flow from her hand.
I drank the water until I saw it was full, I closed my mouth and then swallowed the water while this crazy woman was staring at me for some reason. I was dehydrated a bit now, this time was the time for me to find my escape, must do something to slow her down!
"The water's made from my body's juice, John...is it tasty? Did you enjoy it?". - This woman's mind was very sick, must not stick with her anymore!
"...". - I kept silent because I was analyzing my escape way
"John...please don't ever make me mad again...I never want to hurt you". "We'll go back to the room and I'll feed you, later we will sleep together and then bathe together in the river...romantic, isn't it?". - Now she was hugging me, what a good time to escape
"When your health has been fully recovered, we'll have kids and rebuild our lives...". "I hope you won't be annoyed if I ask you to make love with me tonight, John...at least I can serve you with my mouth". "John...please answer me, if you don't want to then, maybe we'll have to delay it for more days".
"John...please don't be cold to me, say something". - Shera slowly cuddled my face while saying to me worriedly when I was cold to her
"Ahhhh! You're so heartful, John...". - Shera said that because I was patting her head
"I wished Reimi was here because I wanted to make a new family with the three of us...later with our future children". - After being patted, this woman hugged me once again while confiding with her eyes closed in happiness
"Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhh!". - Because I saw my opportunity so I fastly snatched the key from her skirt, also tried to find weapons in her dress but found nothing so I shoved her
"John, please don't leave me! Don't run away, I don't want to hurt you so please!". - After having the key, I was quite panicked so I pushed myself once again and sprinted like a madman out of the library and left Shera, ignoring her begging
"Arrrrrggghhhhhhhhh!". "How could you leave me?! How can I allow it?! No way I can allow it to happen!". "Get back here, John! Return here immediately, now!". - After running out of the library, I turned back to look and saw this crazy blonde woman chasing me from behind with the bayonet
"Get back here, John!". - Before she could reach me, I closed the library's door and sprinted to the long hallway, with the hope that this nightmare would soon end