“Love Consists of this: two solitudes that meet, protect and greet each other.” -Rainer Maria Pike

Jane

I slipped my silk pink nightgown on before going out into my living room. I grabbed my joint out my ashtray on top of my piano grabbed my lighter and lit it, I took a hit as I sat down on my couch. I shouldn’t have taken off like that he was probably worried I rubbed a hand against my forehead god I was a mess, and I knew I would have to tell him everything eventually but how did you tell someone? I could barely admit certain things to myself but if we we’re going to be together, I knew I would have to be completely open with him. But what if I did and I lost him I didn’t think I had just reacted and let my emotions get the better of me I should have stayed and tried to talk at least a little but it was too much I felt so overwhelmed, being around him always did that but it had always felt like a warm blanket wrapped around me but this time I just felt like I couldn’t breathe, and I know it was a lot more than him just suddenly coming back and declaring he wanted us to be together and he was sorry I had my own baggage and secrets I had been carrying for months on top of that my medicine wasn’t working as well as it used to I had to up the dose and it barley helped and that was the strongest medicine my friend had made me she said anything stronger wouldn’t be good for me. I was going to have to learn to handle this power better instead of trying to suppress it. I had been trying before Antonio left but after he was gone, and other things happened it was too much I tried to numb myself with alcohol and smother my power with the pills I was a mess that I could admit sighing I got up and put the joint back down in the ashtray before sitting down at the piano in my living room. I took a deep breath and began to play closing my eyes I let all the emotions and turmoil I was feeling out as I slowly let the feelings of others in tears welled up behind my closed eyes beyond the power of feeling others around me I felt deeply anger for me was rage sadness was despair and when I loved I loved so deeply and completely and when I hurt it nearly broke me and one night as I waited outside for my ride home from the bar drunk and my medicine had worn off I discovered another power I had I could make another person feel whatever emotion I wanted them to feel even pain, a man had come up to me trying to talk I politely declined his advances but he wouldn’t stop even as I kindly asked him once again the smile on his face became a sneer when I had turned away and he grabbed my arm to stop me I hadn’t wanted nothing more than to hurt him and suddenly I felt a rush through my body that seemed to pour into him I watched as he staggered back a look of agony on his face as he dropped to the ground wrapping his arms around himself I took a step back and when my ride came I ran. When I got home I had sat and thought about what I had done to that man and I couldn’t bring myself to feel bad instead I felt good I had fought back I had hurt him and dark part of myself I hadn’t realized was there suddenly surfaced and I realized I had enjoyed what I had done to him did that make me a bad person now or was I justified in my feelings I sat for hours and thought about everything that happened, pain, life and death and what it would do to a person to take a life… I stopped playing my fingers just hovered over the key’s exhaustion pulling at me I needed to go to sleep my mind was spinning and I was wrung out I needed rest at least a few hours if possible and hopefully everything would be clearer getting up I shuffled down the hall to my bedroom opening the door I went straight for my curtains and closed them plunging the room in total darkness, perfect. Going over to my bed I dropped face down, grabbing my pillow I rolled to my side, curled into a tight ball, and let my eyes close as I drifted off into deep sleep.

“You pierce my soul. I am half agony, half hope...I have loved none but you.”

― Jane Austen

Antonio

I pulled up to her building and parked, getting out I headed up the steps to the building’s entrance once inside I went over to the mailboxes to see which apartment was hers my eyes quickly scanned until scanned until I landed on her last name Jennings apartment 3C bingo, he headed down the hallway past the elevator he went straight for the stairs with a quick burst of speed he reached the third floor he barely noticed his surroundings he was so intent on reaching her once he reached her door he glanced around light blue walls and cream carpets it was nice and serene he could see why she chose it. He knocked gently on her door he waited a moment, but she didn’t come to the door she was home he could hear her heart beat he knocked harder if she didn’t answer he was going to open it he’d pay to have it fixed he had to see her and make sure she was okay ,he heard the click of her locks being turned the door swung open her face was pure irritation for a split second before it changed and she stared up at him blankly for a moment before she stepped back to let him inside he came in pausing he turned to shut and lock the door, he turned back to face her and saw she already started back down the hallway he followed after her she went straight to her bedroom and got back in bed she pulled the covers back over herself her eyes drifted closed her breathing turned deep she wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon especially since he took blood from her seeing the dark circles under her eyes made him wish he hadn’t she looked exhausted, damn he could tell things were going to be unsteady for a little while as he tried to get back into her life and get past the walls she built in his absence they would have to learn to trust and lean on each other again that would take time which he had plenty of and would give it all to her. He brushed a curl out of her face. It was moments like these he wished he could sleep so he could curl up with her and drift off into a deep slumber. Slipping his shoes off he climbed into bed with her, he leaned back against the headboard and crossed his legs, he pulled out his phone he’d take care of the documents and shipment request his uncle had asked him to take care of, he would handle all this while she slept to pass the time and keep him from overthinking everything besides being near her eased his anxiety some, she shifted in her sleep and rolled over so she was pressed against him. He ran a hand through the thick silky tresses of her hair for a few minutes enjoying the feel against it always calmed him and relaxed her especially when she would have an episode she told him it helped ground her in a way by focusing on the repetitive motion of his hand through her hair he did whatever he could to help her during those rough patches, Okay time to get to work he had to pull his focus back and get this done.

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.”

― Lao Tzu

Jane

I felt a smile form on my lips. I was so happy and content as my mom gently brushed my hair being extra gentle as she combed any knots she came across. “Soon you’ll be hanging your hair out the window for your prince, your hair is getting so long” I looked back and smiled up at my mom. “I love you mommy” I said giving her a kiss on the cheek, she smiled and kissed the tip of my nose, “I love you too, little star” my eyes snapped open I blinked a couple of times trying to bring reality into focus and as everything caught up with me and the dream replayed through my mind the grief I tried hard to repress came to the surface causing my eyes to well up and a few tears to escape, before I could reach up and wipe them away Antonio was suddenly in front of me using his thumb he gently wiped my tears away.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he gently took my face in his hands. His eyes were intense as they searched my face.

“Yes, I just had a dream about my mom that’s all” I gave him as much of a casual shrug as I could I didn’t want to talk about her right now or I’d start crying some more, from the moment he’s come back I’ve been a mess I had to get it together, he gazed at me for another moment then smiled, my heart skipped a beat I had missed that smile.

“Come on I ordered you some breakfast, blueberry pancakes” he held a hand out to me I put my hand in his and let him pull me to my feet I couldn’t help the blush that spread across my face as we walked hand in hand to my kitchen area at the table there was a plate with a stack of pancakes, a cup of orange juice and a cup of coffee mmm perfect it was just what I needed. He released my hand to pull my chair out for me smiling up at him I sat down picking up the cup of coffee I took a sip perfect nice and sweet, Antonio sat across from me his eyes watched my every move it use to make me feel so awkward and self-conscious when he watched me but not as much as it use I loved how he paid so much attention to me and looked at me like I was his whole world.

“So, what’s the plan for today?” I glanced over at the clock under my television. It was one in the afternoon, so we had a whole day to do whatever, I didn’t have to work until Friday, it was only Tuesday. I didn’t have to work. I was well off, my father saw that, and I did some modeling when I was younger now, I taught piano in the city at places that had low funding we had a recital coming up for Christmas and another one for New years. I was as excited as the kids if not more, I was able to get a lot more donations this year for both centers I worked at from clothes, shoes, toys and over five million dollars, which was split between both centers which helped out the faculty along with the kids and even the parents who were struggling I loved the warmth that washed over me like waves when we gave the announcement it was moments like that where I loved my powers.

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“I have to return my uncles car to him and get mines other than that we can see where the day takes us” he said pouring some syrup on my pancakes for me smiling I picked up my fork and knife and cut them up I took a big bite humming with pleasure they were so good.

“Okay when did you need to take him his car?” I asked around a mouth full of pancakes, smiling he reached out and wiped some syrup from the corner of my lip with his thumb holding my gaze he licked the syrup from his thumb, my heart kick started while my lower anatomy began to throb making me clench my thighs together sheesh all he did was lick his thumb calm down Jane.

“How about when your done eating also.” he paused I took a sip of my coffee he put the perfect amount of Italian sweet cream in it.

“What’s up?” I asked.

“I wanted a tour of your home for one and I wanted to know if you wanted to stay here or my place?”

I couldn’t help the grin that lifted my lips into a full-blown smile. Why this simple request made me so happy I didn’t know maybe it was because he was giving me a choice when he usually liked to decide for me. Although he left out the option of us being apart, although I doubt, he considered that an option I would still consider this a win.

“I would love to give you a tour of my humble home” I said gracefully sweeping a hand through the air and bowing slightly he laughed aloud it was deep and melodious I missed his laugh. I cleared my throat to alleviate the sudden tight feeling.

“I would also love to stay at your place just let me pack a bag and I’ll be set” I finished my pancakes, getting up I gathered my dishes to take to the kitchen he scooped up my glasses and followed behind me.

“No need to pack anything you don’t really need” he said setting the cups in the sink along with my plates I looked up at him in confusion.

“I want to take you shopping” he said gently pulling a hand through mu hair he pulled my curls then let them go they bounced lightly making him smile.

“Really!?” I did a little hop in my place yes I was the type of girl who loved to shop but not just for clothes for cooking utensils, art supplies , décor I loved shopping when I was younger before my parents had the wealth we had today we didn’t have a lot so when we did become wealthy we appreciated it all even more.

“Yes, shopping then lunch and perhaps a movie?” He turned the water on and began washing the dishes he handed them to dry.

“That sounds perfect I’m so excited!”

“Good, go ahead and get ready” he gave my butt a little smack making me giggle I skipped off down the hall to my room to get ready I hadn’t felt this happy in a while.

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

—Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land

Antonio

I finished the dishes and put them away while I waited for Jane to get ready I felt almost embarrassed how excited I was to spend the day Jane and every day after we were back together we would make this work I believed it with all my being she was the one for me she knew it and believed in us when I didn’t I would show her how much I loved her and I would never leave her or hurt her again I wanted to spoil her and love on her I instantly became hard calm down Antonio we had to take this slow it wasn’t about the physical it was about the emotional, and mental first and foremost and he would make that very clear to Jane as well, pulling my phone out I sent my uncle a text letting him know I would be dropping his car off soon.

“The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves.”

–Victor Hugo.

Jane

I was trying to decide between a pink sundress covered in white daisies or a blue one covered in sunflowers. When my phone rang, I knew it was my dad, I had a special ringtone set for him, smiling, I answered the phone.

“Hey daddy” I said grabbing the blue dress with my free hand.

“Hello baby girl, how are you feeling today?” His deep voice boomed through the phone. He had one of those deep voices that even if he whispered it sounded loud, I held my phone in the crook of my neck so I could slip my nightgown off and slip my dress on.

“I'm good, how are you feeling today?” I sat down at my vanity putting my phone down. I turned the speaker on so I could fix my hair and put a little makeup on.

“I’m good I miss you when are you going to come see your dad? He asked if I could almost see him pouting through the phone making me laugh.

“I miss you too, I can come see you tomorrow I have plans for today” I felt my face get warm just thinking about Antonio waiting in the living room for me, it almost felt surreal that he was even here.

“What are your plans for the day? He asked trying to sound nonchalant he didn’t want to seem like he was being nosey or pushy but it had never bothered me tell my dad about anything going on with me or my life, but I was a little nervous to tell him about Antonio after he hurt me he wasn’t his biggest fan.

I twirled a curl around my finger.

“Antonio is back and we’re spending the day together” I waited for his reaction.

“Good after he showed up here demanding to see you that had better be the plan” he said huffing through the phone, I blinked a few times taken aback by what he had just told me, I took him off speaker.

“When did this happen?” I asked slipping on my white wedge sandals. Grabbing my phone, I got up and my purse along with a small travel case that I kept my medicine and marijuana in.

“The other night he showed up here ready to break the door down to find you” he answered, “I almost slammed it in his face.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at my dad's petulant tone.

“Thank you for not shutting the door on him” I said, “I can come see you tomorrow if you’re not busy with work.”

“I'm never to busy for you baby girl” he said I felt warm and loved I blinked to stop the tears he was all I had left my mom died when I was 10 so it was just us, my dad became a vampire after she passed away he didn’t do it for his sake he did it for mines I was so distraught loosing my mom he wanted me to know I wouldn’t loose him as well, it was the most selfless thing he could have done for me.

“Okay I’ll com by tomorrow, I love you daddy.”

“I love you more baby girl” smiling I hung up the phone and put it in my purse before heading back into the other room.

There is always madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”

–Friedrich Nietzsche

Antonio

I was sitting on the bar stool by Jane's kitchen waiting for her to get dressed I heard her on the phone with her dad it made me smile hearing the love between them and how they both so easily forgave me it made me feel lighter inside we had a long way to go it had literally only been twenty-four hours they would take it one day at a time. Jane came out her room looking absolutely beautiful she had on a blue sundress covered in sunflowers that hugged her curves perfectly and had her full breast standing at attention he loved the blue against her beautiful caramel brown skin, she had on light makeup making her teal colored eyes pop she had learned to control her eyes changing colors unless strong emotions triggered her. She brushed her curls out, so it hung in thick waves down her back to her waist she had her bangs swooped to the side which he liked she normally had them straight across her forehead. She sat her purse and travel case down in the bar area and she offered him a shy smile.

“Ready for the tour?” she asked, holding a handout to him. Smiling back at her he placed his hand in hers it was so small and warm compared to his, his skin was a shade lighter than hers. His dad had been pure Italian his mom had been African American.

“Yes, lead the way” she showed him her bedroom she had a nice queen-sized bed with blue satin sheets adorned with silver stars that also matched her curtains as well. Her vanity was white and matched the desk she had in her room as well. She had the wall in her room by her bed full of pictures of her mom, dad, close friends and him, he expected her to rip his photos to shreds. She showed him her small gym. It had a ballet area set up along with a treadmill and yoga area as well. She had a full-sized bathroom with a full-size tub and a walk-in shower. They headed back into the living room with the nice plush black leather sofas and coffee table she had a huge flat screen TV on the mantle over it were her various awards she had won over the years from ballet, piano and volleyball on top of the baby blue grand piano he had bought her specially made and another photo of Jane, her mom and dad when she was small out in there garden having a picnic and beside it a picture of her and him on her eighth birthday party she had her arms around his neck smiling not caring about her missing top left tooth. She gestured to the kitchen.

“You’ve already seen the kitchen area, that’s pretty much It my humble abode” she said she grabbed her purse and slung in over her shoulder her grabbed her travel case for her before she could pick it up.

“You have a lovely home” he told her as they headed for the door, she beamed up at him.

“Thank you” she said aa she unlocked and opened the front door they headed into the hall, she paused to turn back and lock the door behind them. They headed hand and hand down the hallway to the stairs and out the front door they stepped outside to the bright sun. It wasn’t very hot, but it was pretty warm for August. They started towards his uncle’s car when Jane suddenly stopped, he looked down at her she had a look on her face he couldn’t quite figure out…

“Are you alright?” He asked her she didn’t answer right away, after a moment she gave a slight nod, before continuing towards the car. He wanted to pry but knew this was not the moment and pushing her wasn’t the right way either he learned his lesson. He opened the passenger side door for her once she was in and buckled up tight, he shut her door, before heading to the driver’s side and getting in, he started the car and pulled off.