There were a number of certain resources Rosa and Lysa needed to stock up on before venturing beyond the borders of Sanctuary and into Nosferatu.
Food was a must. Neither of them actually knew the cities in Nosferatu, nor how far apart they were. As well, with Rosa being human, she'd be in danger just by being near Vampires other than Lysa. Her scent alone would give her away. Her only lifeline was her protection, along with her own skills. Thus, they needed enough food and water to last at least a month, maybe even two. Canned food and anything non-perishable would do, but their already low funds would take a hit.
They needed to buy medical supplies, as well, gauze and the sorts. Something as simple as a cut could end up as life threatening in just a few days if left untreated. While high-rank Vampires had the benefit of a vastly increased healing factor, the same wasn't true for humans, especially one such as Rosa who had no Aura training.
She was lucky to have only needed to fire her rifle once, so she wouldn't need to restock on ammunition.
Still, more than anything, they needed a way through the border.
"Looks like we’re almost there."
Rosa's voice distracted Lysa out of her trance, the Vampire looking around in slight confusion. They were no longer in the marketplace, instead turning towards a darker corner in the snow covered alley where the smell of garbage was particularly putrid.
"Ugh," Lysa pinched her nose under the hood she wore, wincing. "Where...?"
Rosa walked forward, much more confidently than Lysa as she pulled her along, "You'll see."
As they passed a bunch of colorful, eye-catching posters, advertising god-knows-what, she turned the corner past a few full trash cans, where there was a small building, partially hidden and crumbling by the thick wooden walls the street was lined with.
The door was similarly made of wood, its glass windows covered with nailed down boards. It, notably, appeared completely uninhabited, which was further evidenced by the 'CLOSED' sign on the door. It seemed rather old, as well, with a few dark splotches covering the words in a vaguely see-through mask.
"Good, it's open," Rosa placed her hand on the handle, making Lysa lower her brows.
"It's... very obviously not, Rosa... Are you sure you don't need glasses?" She tilted her head.
"My eyesight's fine, thank you."
With a quick push, the door opened, the two being me with a drab, small shop of which seemed to be selling various materials. Odds and ends without any specific categories or even pattern.
Rosa took Lysa's hand once more, pulling her inside without a moment to lose. She closed the door just as quickly, looking around for a few moments before being caught off guard by some sort of turret contraption pointing at the two, several small circular pieces rotating and turning on it.
"Another move and you're dead."
The two immediately froze in response to a shaky, deep voice.
As a hatch opened, a scarily gray-skinned and aged man appeared, his black beard scraggly and hanging on by threads.
"Who... who are you?" He asked in confusion, looking at the two with a tilted head. His wrinkles were thick and long as they ran across his face, and his tone was far from polite, more aggravated and alarmed than anything.
Rosa raised her hand, urging Lysa to do the same as she quickly fumbled with her words, "It's– I'm– we're... Jasper sent me."
His expression almost immediately hardened further, if that was even possible, a scoff escaping his mouth, "That damn Hunter... I tell you, never owe a man like that a favour.”
Rosa looked between the turret and the man, "Does that mean you're not gonna fill us with holes...?"
"As fun as that would be..." The man sighed, clicking a button that made the turret slowly descend into the floor, a loud hissing sound resonating through the room as it did. "Come. If Jasper wants something, then I suppose I'll humor it..."
The man seemed to almost trip as he moved back up into the hatch, gesturing for the two to follow.
"Do you... know him?" Lysa poked the other on the shoulder.
"No, never met him. Just a friend of a... acquaintance, I guess. He didn’t really put much in the letter…"
"And you're sure he won't try and kill us? Or, what about that bounty on you?" She tugged at Rosa's coat, pouting.
"Well, I sort of trust Jasper... so, I trust this guy too. Maybe. Hopefully."
Lysa huffed, "That's not exactly comforting, Rosa...!"
"I know, I know... Just... keep your hood up and it'll be fine, I think... And your blindfold, too."
"I’ll be sure not to be an idiot…"
The two walked towards the trapdoor, careful not to bump into the haphazardly strewn about tables and shelves, some holding various mechanical items and others empty. It was entirely unorganized, which Lysa hoped wasn't intentional.
Rosa decided to go first, cautiously climbing up the ladder leading to what she presumed was an attic. She was wrong, as the place could only be described as a whole other floor filled to the brim with complex machinery which seemingly betrayed much of the rest of the town. Machinery of much greater complexity and engineering was usually left to the confines of the military, not civilians, which left Rosa all the more confused when she saw unrefined silver on a table by the corner.
Lysa came up after her, the two climbing up the rusty steps with a click each. They both proceeded to scan the room in utter amazement, or in Lysa's case, concern of the vast quantity of weapons specifically designed to kill people like her.
"Now, are you aware that the little friend of yours hanging around you is a Vampire?"
The question caught the two of them off guard, Lysa's claws reflexively extending as she eyed the old man. Though to his credit, he didn't flinch, just examining her with furrowed brows.
"Girlfriend, not friend," Lysa frowned, not making any other move.
Rosa, though, immediately looked back towards her, face tinted red, "W-well, we didn't agree on exactly that..."
"Huh?" She tilted her head, frowning. "But, you said you love me..."
"Well, I did–"
"Then, what are we?"
"Er... testing the waters?" Rosa attempted to smile, still flushed as she glanced away.
"Good fucking lord, I don't give a shit what the two of you are, I care why there's a Vampire in my damn place!"
“You’re the one that told us to come in…” Lysa huffed.
“I aint lookin’ for backtalk, Leech!”
The two shrunk under his glare, getting closer to each other by instinct, while the man merely sneered at them. Rosa wasn't sure if she was scared by any means, though, perhaps worried in a way.
"She's... not," Lying had proved to be useful to Rosa as of late, so she supposed it wouldn't hurt. "Have you heard of Albinism? She's always being mistaken for one, it's a real pain–"
"I know a Vamp's scent. There's no use in hiding the truth, not to me. Ya gonna say she's a hunter, next? Nah, that serum's got a real pungent smell that I know well. That's not even mentioning the damn claws, or the hair you barely tried to hide," His voice grew more and more agitated as he spoke, his hands nearing a switch near him. "Thirty seconds. Then, I'm killing the both of you, regardless of whatever the hell that bastard wants."
Lysa returned his aggression, her eyes narrowed, "Humans like you always assume the worst! I haven't done a thing to you or anyone else, have I? Right, Rosa? I'm not a monster!"
"Don't let him get to you, he's just... scared," She wrapped her arm around Lysa's, almost as if to reassure her. "I mean, somewhat rightfully, but..."
Lysa couldn't help but frown at her words, her gaze lowering as Rosa continued.
"She's not lying, though!" She looked back at the man. "She's not like the others, okay? That's the truth."
He could recognize the desperation in the way she pleaded, but his resolve wouldn't falter, "And I should believe the kid who’s a thrall? Fifteen seconds."
"I'm not a thrall!" Rosa tried her best to prevent herself from panicking. "Just... She's– What can I do to prove it to you...?"
The man paused for a moment before continuing on without hesitation, "... Twelve."
"Fine, I... I'll show you she's safe," She leaned in closer to the other, her eyes meeting hers as her hands went to her cheeks. ""... Trust me."
Lysa nodded slowly, before her head was suddenly taken into Rosa's arm, lowering it to meet the crook of her neck. She immediately froze up, her body shivering as the scent of blood hit her. She could feel the blood pumping through her veins, the heat that radiated off her entire being.
"Christ, you really are insane! What the hell do you think you're doing?! You're gonna get yourself turned!" The man stood up from his chair with such vigour, it almost toppled over. His sudden raise in volume gave Lysa more of a reason to stay still, fighting with all her will the urge to simply lose it and feed.
"She won't bite me. She'd rather die," Rosa responded simply, slowly and carefully wrapping her arms around the waist of Lysa. "I trust her with my life..."
She almost felt like she had entered some sort of trance, struggling to keep her mouth from opening as saliva built up in her mouth. Her fangs extended against her desires, the hot blood pumping in Rosa's jugular making her want to ravage her, to tear into her flesh and–
"Idiot! She'll bite you and drain you! Then, I just have two damn Vamps to kill! Ten seconds!"
"She won't! I know she won't!"
Lysa made a sound that seemed like some sort of whimper, inching closer and letting out a sharp exhale of air, her claws gripping onto the other with all her might. Even though she drank from Rosa just yesterday, she was already thirsty again, or perhaps that was more so the urge speaking. Her stomach was lurching as she inhaled, feeling the faintest bit of droll fall from her mouth onto Rosa's neck.
“No matter what…I trust her, no matter what she is…”
It was a base instinct, something she couldn't truly control as much as she wanted to, needed to. She'd never bitten someone so close to the neck before, where the skin was so full and tender, so full of blood. It was only made harder to resist by Rosa's heartbeats, beating like a drum on the other side of her skin, cacophonous and tantalizing as it beckoned her closer. She could hear it, a thumping bassline with her breathing as the vocals, a veritable siren song which lulled her into an idiosyncratic pleasure.
The reasonable part of her brain was screaming as loud as possible, fighting a losing battle against her worse half. Just a bite was all she needed, even a drop would do, but she couldn't. She'd just be proving everyone else right, she'd be disappointing Rosa and ruining her life. Rosa trusted her... Rosa believed in her.
"Damn it! Five seconds!"
Lysa had moved backwards with a voracity she couldn't replicate in almost any other situation, tearing herself away from Rosa.
She felt sweat beading on her forehead, mixing with her white hair and making her shiver as she lowered her gaze, letting the shakiest of smiles spread across her face.
"I... I love you, Rosa."
As the final second ticked down, the room fell into a silence that was so quiet it almost felt surreal, the only sounds being breathing and the faint noise of gears turning. Even the wind seemed to quiet itself, its soft, though chill as always, breeze blowing past the walls outside.
“... I've always been a bit weak to romance," The elderly man sighed, looking to his left to stare at a small picture frame of a woman and a young, smiling child. "Never did like killing, either."
Rosa didn't answer him, still holding Lysa while slowly and gently rubbing circles upon her back. Her eyes were closed as she was focused on trying to calm the other down, a few quiet breaths leaving her as she smiled.
Rosa didn't move from her position, staying in her arms even as she raised her head to meet Lysa's, their noses practically touching, and more noticeably, they were only centimeters away from each other's lips
"Can I... can I kiss you?" Lysa managed to mutter out, meeting Rosa's eyes through their lids.
"Mm," Was all she needed to reply with, nodding just a bit.
It was more a peck than anything, quick and simple as their chapped lips met. Still, neither moved away, hesitantly moving closer to each other as their arms were wrapped around the other's back.
"Never fucking mind, get a room," The man scoffed, cutting them off with his arms crossed. His eyes were lowered still, even as the air in the room had lightened considerably.
The two quickly separated as red tinted their faces, Rosa coughing into her fist to fill the silence while Lysa pouted like a puppy that had just been scolded.
"Sorry, s... sir…?" She let the last word hang a bit as her tone raised.
"The name's Donovan," He answered, fixing his dark vest. "Well, get on with it now. Why the hell did that damn Hawk send you here?"
"... You move on fast,” Rosa couldn’t help but mumble out, her heart still trying to calm itself. “Oh, er, he wrote a letter..." Rosa ruffled in her pockets, eventually pulling out an envelope and passing it to Donovan.
He took it with a huff, peeling the flaps open and beginning to read the small note within. As he did, his expression gradually grew more and more furious and, by the end, he looked about ready to explode, crushing the note a tad. This was all confusing to Rosa, who upon reading the letter earlier, didn’t note anything that could possibly cause such vitriol. Just a few sentences about the circumstance, asking for his help, and some phrase she hadn’t heard about before.
"So… that’s how it is. That bastard has really lost it after all these years… Tch,” Donovan held his head, taking a deep breath before pocketing the note. "I fucking hate hunters... Fine, I'll help you two get through the border. Ugh... gonna need to get some shit in order. I'll have it done in a few days, maybe three..."
"... Can you do it in two, at least?" Rosa interjected.
"This generation... I said what I meant," Donovan frowned, walking away towards a small cabinet and beginning to rummage through it, picking up different devices as he mulled over in thought. "Come back here in three days, six AM. You need cash for somewhere to stay?"
"We'd certainly appreciate it!" Lysa grinned, giving him a small wave. They had enough, but ever was she sly.
Donovan paused his search, sighing as he reached back into his pockets, withdrawing several stacks of papers and handing it to Rosa.
"This'll last ya long enough. Now, get the hell out of here! I'm not getting any sleep for days..."
They didn't have any reason to argue, Rosa quickly scurrying back to the ladder to climb down with Lysa following right after. At the very least, they had their way out, even if they'd have to wait a bit.
Usually, Rosa would be highly curious on just what made him so keen on helping out, even without much convincing needed from the letter, but, now? She had something better to think about. Something she was fixated on.
It only took a few minutes to walk back to the car, though, to Lysa’s confusion, Rosa pulled her into the back of the vehicle with her.
With a quick slam of the door, she locked it, turning to face Lysa. The latter paused as Rosa put her hand on hers, her eyes half-lidded and bottom lip quivering as her breathing grew ever so slightly heavier, "... Do you wanna make out?"
Lysa nodded slowly as her eyelashes fluttered, a bit taken aback by her forwardness, "Wait– W-what about the whole 'testing the waters' thing?"
She averted her gaze as she muttered out, "... Sorry about that. I just got– well, stressed out with everything… We already promised to never leave each other... I'm just bad with labels..." She moved a bit closer, her other hand reaching to the side of Lysa's face. "I want to be girlfriends eventually, just... slowly... I love you, after all..."
Lysa responded by pulling Rosa down on top of her, looking up at her slightly flushed face with a smile, "Slow is good... and... I love you, too."
In a matter of seconds, there was little space between the two left as Rosa laid atop Lysa. Their eyes were both closed by the time their lips had met, Lysa having wrapped her arms around the other bringing her even closer. She could feel the other's heart against her own, one typically far more slow than now, Lysa's nose bumping against her cheek as she turned her head to better allow Rosa's lips to move. Rosa let out a faint hum as their legs intertwined, Lysa's long hair sprawled across the leather seat of the car.
The rhythm of their lips together matched the hearts of both of them, fast paced and almost erratic, but not from any nerves or worry, more so a pure passion that made their hearts skip. Rosa's had skipped a beat or two already, but Lysa's felt as if she was having palpitations, even though such a thing was difficult for a Vampire like her, her cold heart having to pump blood much less frequently. Even still, Lysa found it difficult to keep up with Rosa, barely managing a few pecks as quiet pops resounded between them.
They separated for but a moment, though their faces remained close to each other, their warm and cool breaths melding together as the frigid winter air seeped through the cracks in the doors. Lysa was by far much more flustered, struggling to retain her composure as Rosa looked down at her with a small smile plastered on her face.
Lysa broke the silence as she let her gaze falter, licking her slightly dry lips to perhaps dispel her nerves or, perhaps work up the will to speak her mind, "So, um... how does this work, exactly...? Making out, I mean. I am not exactly experienced, as you might say... is there, like, a right way to do it?"
Rosa shrugged, "It's been a while for me, so... I dunno. We just kiss for a while, I think. Nothing overly complex."
"Really?" She seemed to be almost on the verge of excitement, cupping Rosa's cheek with both her hands. "... With tongue? Or... more than just tongue?"
"You keep bringing that up, but I really don't know what that would even entail... There's not much that could be further than that, I don't think," She pursed her lips together.
"You're the one with experience here, aren't you...?" Lysa replied slowly, tilting her head.
"That doesn't mean I understand your vague hints, Lysa... Could you try and tell me what exactly you mean...?"
Lysa pondered for a moment before answering, "Well, more than just kissing with tongues, it... It would include... putting things in other things..."
"Lysa, that's just sex. In the vaguest terms, though…"
"Sex involves just tongues? I was not aware..."
"There’s so much going on with that statement, I don't know how to respond to any of it..." She sighed, "Why’s it even on your mind, anyway?"
She hummed, absentmindedly fidgeting with Rosa's hand, "I suppose, I... I've just been thinking about it... And, maybe a lot more, as of recently. When you're around, it's especially bad..."
Rosa blinked in silence as she stared at the other, "So, you're saying you're... turned on by me? Cute…"
"That's such a crude way to put it...!" She let out a huff, puffing out her now pinkish cheek as she averted her gaze. "Maybe I'm just weird. Is it... normal to think about you as much as I do? How often do you think about those... activities?"
Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
"You're not weird for that– Well, you are weird, but… in a good way…” Her lips spread into a small smile as she moved her cheek to the other’s, grazing it in a gentle touch. “But, yeah, I do think about that kinda stuff with you. I mean, I think about you a lot, just in general..."
Lysa's head perked up a tad, her eyelashes fluttering, "Then, perhaps we could... replicate those thoughts?" Saying it out loud brought a strange tightness to her chest.
"Don't get me wrong, I'd... love to, but... not now– not yet. I'm not ready for that, not... mentally. I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize," She sat up a bit, letting Rosa fall onto her lap. "I'm happy enough knowing you feel the same, Rosa... But, um... If it's not too much to ask... could we continue with… what we were doing?"
Rosa was quick to wrap her arms around Lysa's neck, having to shuffle a bit to get past her long hair. With a gentle pull, she was brought closer to the other, laying a quick peck on the side of her lips as she whispered, "Well, we've got three days to spend..."
"It’s a fair time off," Lysa giggled, though felt as her cheeks heated up slightly as Rosa's lips moved lower. "You need a break, so... I believe it works out well... Ah..."
She allowed her eyes to clamp shut as she felt Rosa's lips fall upon her neck, her hot breath combined with the soft sensations hitting her all at once. It was all rather new to her, and she would perhaps be less eager to ease into her touch if it was anyone but Rosa, but her movements were gentle and loving, inviting in their slow and careful motions
Even her voice was sweet, her near silent whispers almost melodic, "Are you... okay with this?" She felt warm air hit her neck as Rosa spoke.
"Yes..." Was all she could make out before she let out a stifled gasp, Rosa's lips suddenly becoming much more proactive as they pressed against her, "That tickles...!"
"Good kind?" Rosa's voice was somewhat muffled as she spoke against Lysa's neck, the latter of whom doing her best to keep herself from squirming.
"... Maybe. Do not stop... Please."
"Hah…” She chuckled, “Your wish is my command."
–
It was scarily easy for Lysa to walk around the small town of Crest unbothered, Rosa thought. Not even mentioning how the sun barely affected her, no one paid her mind as they walked together. Was this all it took, really? A blindfold and hood to hide her hair, of which was tied up just in case, was all she needed to pass completely as a human?
Perhaps she was used to the heavy, militaristic cautions that Central City took, but she couldn't help but find it absolutely insane. If it wasn't Lysa and instead a typical Vampire, the people of the town would be in danger.
People passed by without even a raised eyebrow, simply going about their daily lives. The only people who actually glanced at her were children who must have just wondered why she was wearing a blindfold, and even then, their parents were quick to usher them away, telling them not to be rude.
"You seem... on edge," Lysa thoughtlessly commented as they walked past the marketplace, her grip on Rosa's hand tightening just a tad as if to garner her attention.
Despite Lysa being quite hopeless at most things regarding other people, it always scared Rosa how often she knew what she was thinking. It was almost as if she could read her mind, which may have been more frightening if not for the fact Lysa was hopelessly in love with her.
"... I guess. I don't know how you're so relaxed. Aren't you scared that someone might..." Her words were hushed, almost like a whisper, "Figure it out...? That you're... you know..."
Lysa suddenly stopped, Rosa only having realized as she was pulled back towards her, "A ‘Vamp’?"
"Don't say that so loud... You're lucky nobody is nearby," She huffed, looking up at her with a frown.
"Why? Because people will be scared of me? Because people will try to kill me? Because... I am a monster...?"
Rosa's eyes widened slightly at Lysa's sudden change of tone, a small pain in her heart as she saw the saddened expression on her face, "I never said that, it's just– You know... You're not a monster, Lysa, but other Vampires are... dangerous."
"What makes us different, really?"
"You're a good person, you're... gentle and wouldn't ever bite me... And you actually feel."
Lysa sighed, "You're almost making me sound like a pet, Rosa. ‘Oh, I promise she doesn’t bite!’ I can make my own decisions…! Well, I still will not, but you can't just think of me as an exception."
She sighed, "I don't want to be mean, but," Rosa paused, pursing her lips together. "Every Vampire I've met before you has tried to kill me, killed someone I knew, or... worse."
"We're victims of our urge. Sure, there's bad Vampires, but I bet most of the ones you encountered were starving. You can barely even think when you're like that, it's like... someone else is in control of your body..."
"Then, what about when we first met? You were starving. I had to convince you to even drink from me, and even then, you stopped yourself when you got enough. You could have taken everything, and I wouldn't have even been able to do anything."
"I'm a different case, Rosa. I have more control of myself thanks to my lineage," Lysa's gaze fell, "And... I love you. I could never never hurt you. I doubt any Vampire would hurt the one they love like that, too."
Rosa's eyes shifted away from the other, "I… It's just– I don't know. I don't wanna talk about this anymore."
"That's okay... Just, think about it. It's not that your viewpoint is completely wrong, I'm sure it helped you and others survive... but, it still hurts me when you say stuff like that. We're not mindless killing machines," Even with her words, there was a small smile on her face as she looked back at Rosa. “At least, I don’t think I am. Not since the last time I checked.”
"... Okay. I'll– yeah. Let's just keep walking," Rosa tried to shake the conversation off, pulling Lysa along by her hand.
"Alright... where exactly are we going?"
"I saw somewhere before while we were driving. It looked like a good place to get something to eat, so..."
"Is... is this our first date?" Lysa's eyes almost seemed to sparkle as she looked down at Rosa, a blush growing on her cheeks.
"I-I mean, you can think of it like that," She bit her bottom lip out of habit, her eyes fluttering a tad.
Lysa had to resist letting out an excited squeal, her grip on Rosa's hand tightening, "Yes! I'm so happy! I've been dreaming of this day since forever!"
Rosa only sighed in response, struggling to maintain her composure as she felt Lysa's cold skin. It was absolutely horrible just how adorable she was to her, and how the slightest touches sent butterflies through her stomach. She felt like a hypocrite for acting so serious before, especially as her own mind was surely filled with the same thoughts as Lysa's.
-
It was something between a cafe and restaurant that they ended up in, the menu having both hot and cold options, something of a luxury in outer towns. The price showed that, and though it wasn't a terribly large place, the more wealthy of the town may find it more than worth it.
They sat at a booth in the corner, far from the rest of the sparse customers. It was quite secluded, though not just because it was a ways off, but the tiny amount of other people currently in the building. It wasn't much of a surprise, considering the time, most people in town must have been working.
On the topic of working, a waitress came by to take their order, a sandwich with an excess of meat for Rosa, along with the longstanding tradition of instant coffee; and, a plate of whatever roasted vegetables the restaurant could get a hold of for Lysa. She simply got a water, saying to Rosa after something about how her blood was the only sweet liquid she wanted in her mouth. She didn't know quite how she felt about the way those words made her so excited, especially as she remembered the feeling of her blood being sucked out of her body by Lysa's mouth. That event was a month ago, yet she could recall the sensations so well, so horribly, wonderfully well.
She didn't want that again, and she especially didn't want Lysa's fangs to sink into her arm... to feel her soft lips and tongue tracing across her skin. How her heart raced so, both out of terror and enticement as she felt unable to escape, her grip tight yet paradoxically gentle as she was fed upon. Of course, she'd rather die than let that happen again... and she was glad her blood was drawn through syringe rather than the more... traditional manner. She was, no matter how quickly the thought made her heart rush.
She hated how easily her own thoughts could excite her, even more so considering she and Lysa would be alone together all day... And the next day, and the day after. And then, they'd be alone driving together for weeks on end...
She wanted to be closer to her, and that urge made her unaware of the fact her hand has landed upon Lysa's thigh as she shoveled food into her gullet. She seemed to hardly notice, though, there was the faintest pink upon her cheeks as she chewed. Still, she was surely aware of the quiet words Rosa whispered next, "... I wanna kiss you." Something that made Lysa's eyebrows raise suddenly.
"... T-that's sudden, Rosa…” She stuttered, her eyes fluttering away from the other.
"Yeah... sorry. Just ignore me, I'm probably still not fully awake or something," Rosa sighed, taking a long sip from her cup, the liquid inside bitter and tasteless. Just like all the coffee she'd ever drank.
Lysa met her gaze, her hand landing upon Rosa's shoulder as she spoke, "You could kiss me now."
"... Not a good idea. We're in public, not really my thing to do that so openly," Rosa averted her gaze, her lips pursed.
"You sure? There's barely anyone here... And I really like it."
"Just drop it, please... Later, when we're alone. Maybe back at the motel–" She wasn't able to react to her own misspoken word, freezing as a horribly familiar feeling threatened to overtake her. No, no, already the thoughts were upon her. She couldn't...
"Well, I would give it the grace of being labeled a hotel, but I'm looking forward to it either way..."
Lysa's teasing words, even with the way she smiled at her, didn't do anything to ease Rosa. She was still like ice, still affected by the memories that had so quickly resurfaced. The motel. That day, or really, night.
She still remembered the scent so vividly. A stronger iron smell than she'd ever been subjected to before, the feeling of a knife so easily rendering delicate skin broken. A face without emotion, eyes without light. The sensation of bile working its way up her throat, and coincidentally, the feeling was coinciding with the current events. She felt sick to her stomach so suddenly it was unnatural, her palms clammy in a way they had only ever been during her nightmares.
"Rosa?" Lysa's voice was quieter, her smile replaced with a small frown as she finally noticed Rosa's quickly changing expression, "Are you alright? You look– You're… quiet. And you're pale... for a human, I mean."
Her breath was shaky as she responded, "I... I'll be back, I need to use the washroom." Those words came out as a near muffled whimper, almost mindlessly rising to her feet.
She was quick to leave the booth, her legs carrying her as quick as possible to the nearby bathroom. Once she was near, she pushed forward, the door swinging open, though it sounded silent. Everything felt silent, dull, quiet, meaningless. She leaned on the wall as Lysa followed her in, closing the door behind her as Rosa heaved.
It wasn't just her stomach that pained her so, not entirely. Rather, it was her chest, her lungs, her throat, all being forced to contract at once in some terrible game she wasn't told the rules of. Each inhale brought forth a near instantaneous repeat of the events, her hasty actions that she so meaninglessly regretted. The memories which repeated each night she wasn't held by Lysa, each night she was cold and alone.
Her eyes appeared glazed over and empty to the world as it too blurred, the sound of a lock being clicked inaudible to her ears. Her legs threatened to give out beneath her, her palm quickly failing to keep her up, failing to keep her in this reality she made for herself. She moved herself quickly to the toilet, her arms moving to support herself above it as she began to gag. She could barely even notice the comforting sensations behind her, the soft fingers which held her hair back, the thumb which delicately rubbed circles upon her back.
Each spasm, each moment closer to releasing the contents of her stomach brought forth images of what she had done. A bloody hole in a stomach, that horrible red liquid covering the floor as she could only watch– No, worse, terrorize the dying boy into giving her information that didn't even end up mattering. She knew it wouldn’t end up mattering. Why did she do that?
She didn't even remember his name. He had a family, people who cared about him. She took that from them, she took everything from him. He wasn't just some figure she could forget after a week, not some threat that she had to fight to survive. He wanted to help his family, didn’t he? Sure, that was at the expense of another, but could the same not be said of Rosa?
She was here because she wanted to kill the one who took her first love's life, and to finally bury her; but, what of his loved ones? Was she not the same as the monster that ruined her life? Was she not a monster?
Tears stained her eyes as they were clamped dangerously tight, her throat burning as acid threatened to rise. All the food she had barely started to eat was nearly ready to come back up while her stomach continued to heave and tightest as if the pain was a cycle with no discernible end.
As her mouth opened wider and wider, her entire body tensed. Yet, all that came out was a pathetic, quiet whimper, along with a bitter taste in her mouth as she failed to vomit. She couldn't even throw up correctly, couldn't truly do anything of worth. She was useless, now and before, and surely in the future too. She'd never meet her mother's expectations, never match the natural talent of the one she was raised along with. What was she compared to her? A deserter, a killer, a fool.
The only thing she could do, the only thing she was good at, was hurting those who cared about her. Elsie died protecting her, the first to ever love her regardless of her deeds or accomplishments. She ran from her father who cared for her more than anything, barely giving him a chance to react before she left. And her mother? Some of the last words she heard from her were that she was a fool, a moron.
She was right.
She left Lucien alone in Central with a man who very obviously didn't wish the best for him, with the only guarantee that he wouldn't kill her one surviving friend. Lied to his face that she'd come back alive, though she already willed herself to never come back at all.
Just who was she really? Who was Rosa Varano— No, Rosa? What was she even doing anymore? To aimlessly wander hoping to one day find and bury her first love? To be with Lysa, to love her, clinging to a bygone past? Further back, before her life was torn asunder, was her purpose to protect Sanctuary? To one day bring humans back to the top of the food chain? To eradicate the Monsters that are Vampires for good?
But, Lysa's a Vampire. The elimination of the Vampire plague would spell her death too, the death of the one she loved— Love? Love?! She met this woman only a month ago! Why does she already say she loves her!? Was she truly this desperate to feel love again that she would cling so tightly to Lysa, that she'd ignore what she is? A monster, a monster, A MONSTER!
A monster that currently rubbed her back as she continued to gag and heave. One that whispered kind words into her ear, "It's okay... you're okay," Holding her hair back though making sure to never lay a finger upon her neck, the part of her body which brought back such horrible feelings when touched.
She was so careful, gentle in her soft touches and lovely voice. She wasn't a monster, she would be the first to show just how much she trusted her. No matter how much her urges begged her, she knew Lysa wouldn't hurt her. She wouldn't take her blood without permission, wouldn't tear open her stomach to spread her entrails across the ground, or bite down upon her neck which she knew must have been so tempting for her. She wouldn't.
She was soft, kind, warm in a way that wasn't physical. Her touch was soothing even though she was currently ejecting the remnants of the feeble food she had eaten these past days. God, she was so perfect, and as she began to recover, she wanted to feel her touch even more. Though her mouth tasted terrible, she leaned into her touch, craving it.
"I'm here for you... are you feeling better?" She practically cooed, though a look of supreme worry was upon her comforting face.
"Nnh..." She let out a quiet groan as she wrenched her eyes shut, avoiding the sight of bile, acid, and scant amount of half digested food below her. The scent alone threatened to make her continue, not even mentioning how the sight of her own stomach contents would perhaps do worse. "Fine... I'm... fine," She just barely made out, her voice low, raspy from the prior suffering, and near silent. "Just... bad food, I guess. Plus, my body is used to stuff that's so pumped with chemicals it’s supposed to last forever... Guess anything real was too harsh on my system. Ha..."
"I see..." She accepted Rosa's obvious lies for truth, either not realizing them to be so or simply not wanting to pry. "Maybe the meat wasn't stored right. I’m certainly grateful I don't eat that stuff..."
Rosa's response was only a small hum, letting Lysa slowly move her away from the toilet and flush it, the horrid mixture being washed down out of her sight permanently. After she asked whether she could stand, and Rosa subsequently nodded, Lysa helped the other to her feet.
Her legs shook as she was led to the sink, a slightest push allowing the frigid water to release from the faucet. The temperature helped her ignore the taste overwhelming her, especially as it began to wash the insides of her mouth. She spit after swishing the now dirtied (or perhaps dirtier) water around her mouth, splashing her face with the remaining liquid before turning it off with a deep breath out.
With a moment to, at least, somewhat compose herself, she allowed herself to lean against the sink, hands on either side of the counter. As her eyes opened to meet with the mirror, she was not met with the sight of who she expected, not quite. No, she barely recognized the woman who looked back at her, the one with sunken eyes framed by dark circles the shade of purple; Skin many times more pale than what was normal for her, almost grey in its complexion, a haunting shade. Her black hair and irises almost seemed less reflective, like a void that managed to draw one's gaze, yet shined with no light.
It wasn't her, though she didn't really know who 'her' was at this point. Not that it mattered, anyway. She couldn't work up the desire to care anymore, her only desire was the comfort of the person behind her.
She turned her head to meet her gaze, her hand shakily landing upon Lysa’s sleeve. Despite having been so cheap, the fabric felt so soft against her fingers, almost as soft as the woman she was currently pulling into a hug. Lysa returned it, even surprised as she was, resting her arms against Rosa's back as she simply leaned against her.
"I'm... sorry," The words were suddenly uttered by Rosa, her voice and hands both trembling.
"For what?" She replied, heartfelt and genuine confusion in her quiet words. "You haven't done anything wrong... It's not your fault you threw up."
"No... not that. I... lied to you. I wasn't... I was going to..." She needed to take a moment to collect her thoughts, along with her will for what she wanted to tell her. "... I was going to kill myself after burying Elsie. After this was over... I-I... I wasn't going to honor what I promised to you a while back. Before yesterday, I mean... I kinda changed my mind, but... Mm."
"... Oh." Lysa was quiet for a moment, her body still as she was left to ponder her words, the admittance to this lie and veritable betrayal the one she loved was prior-to planning. "I'm... Well, I'm very glad you decided against it– B-because I want you to live."
She shook her head, resting it against Lysa's collarbone as she mumbled, "But– I... I'm still thinking about it. More than how I should... I promised you I'd live for you, and I can't even– I... And, I do love you, you've somehow made me care so much... all in one month. God, I don't even know why I'm saying any of this..." She trailed off, her grip on Lysa's back tightening.
There was an awkward silence between them as Lysa tried to gather the proper words. She couldn't. "That's– It's... I-I... Please don't do it. I really– I couldn't... handle losing you," Lysa couldn't quite understand why tears pricked at her eyes, especially when it was Rosa who was going through all of this. "Please... I want to be with you. I want to learn everything about you, every single little detail. I want– I want to be happy with you... a-and sad too, not just feeling good. I want us to share it...! All of it! Everything… I... I love you. I want to be yours... forever.... and ever. Please...!"
Rosa's eyes widened as she heard the sudden confession, along with the particular phrase used, her eyes widened just a tad in realization of what she may have meant, "Lysa... that...? You know I... I wouldn't..."
Lysa pulled Rosa away from the embrace, instead grabbing onto her shoulders and holding her tightly. "I... I want... I want to turn you, one day– If you'd be okay with that... T-then, we'd really be together... we'd have the same lifespan, we could run from all the horrible things in this world...! It could– It would just be us... for thousands of years. Y-you'd be stronger, too... You could protect me, and I could protect you..." Her eyes almost seemed to glaze over as she spoke upon this veritable fantasy, her smile slowly growing, though it was shaky. "We could leave everything behind... The war, the fear, the pain... Everything... Forever... Wouldn't that be so nice?"
"Lysa, I... I can't. I don't want to ever be a Vampire. I... I don't want to die, I don't think so, at least... But I wouldn't lose my humanity to live longer, even... even if it was to be with the one I love...."
"But... why? I don't get it... It'd be so wonderful...! Maybe we'd... even have children one day... I think that would be nice, don't– do you think the same? I-I guess there's the complication of us both being women, but... somehow... We'd start a family together... and truly be happy... We wouldn't even have to worry about dying anymore! We'd live long, peaceful lives... I just... I want to be like that with you."
"That's not feasible, it's– it's a fantasy. And, again, I don't want to be turned, my foot is down on that, Lysa." Rosa took a moment to capture her rampant thoughts, the ones that arose as Lysa looked down at her like a needy puppy. "I... I don't want to talk about this anymore. Let's just go back to the table– Or, better yet, the hotel..."
"No! I don't want to just ignore this! It's important, I don't want to run from it! Please, Rosa!"
"I-I said no, Lysa. Stop, okay? This is– this isn't something I wanna talk about. It's a no, period, full stop. I'm not going to change my mind on that, not now," Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly, though not with hostility.
"Y-you can't– I don't–... Please... I just want to be with you! I just want to love you, please... I don't want to ever... lose you... So, just lis– Mmhp–?" Lysa was quickly silenced as something hit her lips, her arms trembling for a moment with no knowledge of where to put them.
Rosa had to lean up a decent amount to reach the other's lips, her arms wrapping around her neck while pulling her down just a tad. It was a somewhat awkward angle, but that didn't exactly make it uncomfortable. No, Lysa's lips were far too soft for that to be the case, especially when paired with the faint sweet taste which helped hide the bitter aftertaste of bile and stomach acid.
Though, as her eyes closed, she felt Lysa pull away, her expression painted with the utmost confusion, though that did not obscure the faint pink that had spread across her cheeks. "That's... not fair. You can't just kiss me to shut me up... It's... it's not nice..." Though her tone betrayed her words.
With an avoidance of her eyes, Rosa leaned in to continue, though failed as Lysa pulled back, "What? You like it, don't you...?" She knew she should have felt bad for practically manipulating her, the one she cared so much for, but the circumstance dulled that emotion. A lot of things were dull as of late, but there was one feeling that always stayed constantly wonderful. "... Just let me do it. I want to be happy with you too... just, not like that... Like this."
She didn't fail the second time. Cold upon hot became a comfortable middle ground, a Luke-warm which made her feel all too pleasant for the circumstance. At least, she told herself it made her feel better. Lysa's back quickly fell against the nearby wall as Rosa pushed up against her, though Lysa's arms did not wrap around the other. No, they stayed stagnant at her sides, her entire body stiff in a strange way, one Rosa didn't quite seem to notice.
On paper, it was the same as the last time they kissed. In practice, it felt quite different. Lysa enjoyed the sensations physically, yes, but there was a certain something missing. An almost painful emptiness in her chest, a creeping feeling of something being wrong. Terribly, terribly wrong.
"... You're... running..." Lysa muttered against Rosa's moving lips, an action which seemed to make it somewhat difficult to continue. So, she began to trail her kisses away from the other's lips, first to her jaw, then eventually moving to her neck as Lysa spoke on, "Mmh..." She whined, "We need to talk about these things... I-I don't– I can't let us... fall apart. I don't want to lose you... and not just to death."
Rosa didn't reply, though she didn't block out her words completely. After all, she already knew them well. She told the same thing to herself again and again, that she was running, that she is running. From the moment Elsie died – no, even before, she was trying to escape from some unknowable fate, these difficulties which she was inevitably presented with. "I love you," was another sign of that, one she whispered out as she stopped only for a moment.
Those words, along with the increasingly ferocious actions of Rosa served to elicit the quietest of wordless responses, "Nnh..." She failed to resist a shuddering breath from escaping her mouth, her eyes threatening to shut each passing moment. "... You're so... unfair... Much too... unfair... How am I supposed to deal with you when you're playing dirty like this...?"
"... You're the one letting me get away with it," Rosa's actions stopped, the other's words seemingly striking something within her. She was quiet as she leaned against her, her arms having fallen to Lysa's side, though never holding her any less tight.
“What am I supposed to do when you’re like this?" With a sigh, she hesitantly allowed her hands to fall onto the others back, gripping at the fabrics which separated the two.
"Push me away... get mad, yell at me... Something," Rosa muttered, her body becoming a dead weight against Lysa, "That would make sense. Don't just let me do this... I'm being horrible to you. You don’t… deserve this. Any of this."
"What...? I could never do any of that. I love you too much... And, you are not okay, you are hurting, a-and... I couldn't possibly leave you like this. I want... to help you. I..." Lysa lifted Rosa away from her body with little struggle from the other, instead looking at her at an arm's length. "Was I ignoring your feelings...? I apologize... I was so focused on mine I... forgot."
It was terrible hearing Lysa blame herself, especially when it was her who did wrong. Was it not her who just forced herself upon her? Was it not her who blatantly ignored her confessions of love for so long? Was it not her... who deep down... partly saw her as a replacement? "I–... that's not... You didn't..."
Just how was she supposed to respond, to speak? For her, who was so horrifyingly weak, who could not find the strength to even kill herself, who leaned so heavily on another person's emotional stability and validation? It was truly a wonder that she had ever even been a soldier in the first place, though was she even a decent one? Back then, she could never will herself to shoot a Vampire, even if it was at the risk of her life, or others.
Why was she even alive? It was all so meaningless. She only brought more and more suffering to everyone around her, all for a goal that was ultimately without purpose; a closure that would not affect the world. Elsie would still be dead. Rosa would still be broken. Living would still be painful.
But as she felt Lysa hold her tighter, a faint sniffle resonating from her, she realized something. Something so obvious, a promise she already made.
'Oh. I'm alive for her.'
A thought which came to her as her own tears escaped from the faltering ducts once more; her shoulder was soaked and her eyelids trembled. She was still alive because she wanted to be with her, she wanted to see her... smile. She wanted to watch as she got healthier and happier, as life eventually felt good for her. And she wanted to be there by her side as it happened, and to be the reason she’s okay.
Because that's what love was, right? And... she did.
"... I love you."
She really did love her.