The Grim Reaper; the personified force of death present in the mythos of regions across the world. To some, it is the reaper of souls who comes to collect, to others, the benevolent guide to the afterlife.

To Tsubaki Fujioka, the human woman who Vampires called her the Reaper, it was her job description. Not like the Hunters, nor the Enforcers who she once was a member of. No, she had no secondary purpose, ideal, or cause to use as an excuse.

She just killed. Killed, and killed, and killed, and killed, and killed.

Nobody else knew the feeling of destroying Aura. It was a side effect of her Technique, 'Decay'. She could apply the quality on her Aura, causing anything it touched to begin to enter a state of sudden, irreversible deterioration. Inanimate objects rotting, living flesh decaying, immortality ceasing. It was one of the few Techniques that could prevent a Vampire from regenerating, along with the Blue Flames of the Hunter Kato.

She couldn't control what decayed once she made contact. In just one moment, the body she was touching could be reduced to a puddle of black sludge. Even if a Vampire guarded their body with Aura, Decay did not stop at physical matter. It would consume everything, ripping even Aura apart at a molecular level. It was an indiscriminate and uncontrollable Technique, consuming every living thing it touched if left unchecked.

However, because it was so powerful, it used incredible amounts of Aura. That is, if she didn’t implement a serious danger to using it, a strategy many Aura Users took advantage of to reduce Aura consumption. After all, just like she was taught, Aura efficiency was multiplied the more stress a person was under. By constantly risking her own Technique killing her, she was able to use it for up to thirty minutes straight. Just one mistake and it was all over for her.

To kill even one more Vampire, she was more than ready to die. That’s just what her role was.

"... Phantom Weapon: Grim Scythe."

In her hands, her Aura began to gather into a specific form, coiling together into something that only she could see through the Aura Sight Technique. It was a dull sensation as her Aura took solid form, thin strands blending together and shaping into something tangible. It moved, wrapping around her arm like a thick cloak, a slight chill running through her arm as a thin handle fell into her grasp.

The scythe wasn't detailed, not like any typical object. After all, what she created with her Aura was not completely real, a glimpse into her mind's eye. The shape was only temporary, the material only as sturdy as the strength of her Aura.

Aura could not be damaged, at least not permanently. If an Aura User's concentration wavered, their Aura would disappear. Even the strongest Aura was not immune to its own user's failure.

"They call you the Reaper, right? Let's see if the tales are true!" The voice of the Vampire ahead of her echoed across the dark walls of the tunnel, their black claws extending and their mouth wide open, sharp fangs jutting out. "I doubt it, though... At the end of the day, you're still a hum–"

"Did you know that the Scythe was originally devised for farming? It's an incredibly effective harvesting tool, you see. I find it rather ironic that it's now become the weapon most associated with death." Tsubaki began walking forward, her grip on her scythe tightening while her expression remained cold, distant. "Food is what keeps us alive, and the scythe allowed us to gather it. That was before the Industrial Revolution, however. Now, we rely on machinery."

She was tall, slim muscles framing her body. Her dark, black hair flowing behind her tied back into a ponytail, her brown eyes narrowing as she moved.

"The hell are you going on about? Are you insane...?" The Vampire spat, their tone dripping with malice.

She ignored the Vampire completely, "I have a few theories on why the imagery of the scythe became how it is today. I once read about how serfs were conscripted to war, though were never given any real weapons. Thus, they had to use the only tools they had access to as farmers. Sickles, hoes, and of course, scythes. They became tools of war, rather than tools of life." She stopped almost a dozen meters away, the scythe's blade falling towards the floor as it began to slice through the concrete ground, her fingers flexing, "The other explanation is that of the Scythe's usage as a way to 'reap' a crop being a good way to think of how death reaps human life. So, in the end, the scythe became a symbol of the Grim Reaper, Humanities farmer."

The Vampire's fists clenched, letting out a quiet growl, "Take this serious, Human!"

"But, the truth is, the Scythe is not an effective weapon. It is truly unwieldy to use, a tool never meant to harm an equal opponent. Its design is purely meant for harvesting crops, not combat. The curved blade is not ideal for cutting through flesh, and the pole's length is far too long for one-on-one combat. That's not even mentioning the uncomfortable weight distribution if you're not using it in the proper fashion... Compare that to a weapon like the halberd, though it may resemble the Scythe at first glance, which is incredibly effective. It's easy to handle and is incredibly versatile, being able to stab, slash, and strike. It has a longer reach, and its weight is distributed well to allow truly brutal attacks."

Tsubaki stopped walking, staring the Vampire dead in the eye.

He couldn't deny he had become the slightest bit curious, thus, he questioned, "Tch... then why the hell are you even using it?"

"Simple," She paused, tilting her head ever-so-slightly, "I am not fighting anyone. I am reaping a weed that has grown too long. That's all."

"What the fuck do you mean by–"

Before the Vampire could react, let alone finish his sentence, Tsubaki was already in front of him, swinging the Scythe to the right and slicing off his jaw. Blood sprayed out of the wound, landing across her face and coating her body, yet she did not flinch, nor did she react in the least bit. She was without even the slightest bit of expression as the Vampire's hands reached up to cover his now-open wound, his screams muffled by his palms.

Her scythe was held in one hand, her other reaching out as it grasped the Vampire's forehead, indents forming under each of her fingers.

"You are a Highblood, as I was told. The last of the assassins sent… Thus, I have two ways to kill you. I can stake your heart and destroy your head, or..." She began to release her Aura, black tendrils beginning to surround the Vampire's head, "I can decay you. It doesn't take much Aura. Just five seconds is enough to destroy your brain."

As the Aura began to flow out of her hand, the Vampire's expression shifted to one of terror. The smell of rot flesh filled the air as her Aura began to disintegrate his skin, his mouth moving to speak, though no words came out.

"One.... two..."

In just two seconds, his skin and muscle had rotted away, his head becoming nothing more than a pile of grey sludge in her hands. However, it wasn't enough. Not until he was completely destroyed.

"Three... four..."

Her Aura had begun to rot his skull, only a thin layer preventing her Decay from reaching his brain.

"Five."

There was a wet squelch as her hand pierced through the remaining barrier, her fingers making contact with his brain. The moment her Aura began to target his brain, the Vampire's body fell limp, his eyes having dissolved along with much of his face.

She removed her hand from the corpse's head, the body falling to the floor. Her Scythe disappeared in her hands as she stood, looking down at her work.

"... You were only one level weaker than the other Highblood assassin which attacked the General, judging by your Aura... Yet, it was this easy." She let out a sigh, indulging in her habit of talking to herself, "Enhancing other people is such a pain... As much as I enjoy being close to Miss Varano, I'm really not cut out for support work. Maybe I should study it more…"

Tsubaki turned, slowly beginning to walk back the way she came, "On the bright side, this should be the last Highblood in a hundred kilometer area surrounding Central. Mission complete. Hooray."

She ruffled in her pocket, eventually pulling out a small phone. She flipped it open, pressing the single button present on the device and holding it up to her ear.

"Highblood's dead. Are you still outside?"

"Mm, I am," The voice replied. "I'm waiting for you."

"Okay."

She hung up.

-

There were ten Enforcers, formerly eleven before the death of the Eight rank Enforcer, Apollo. The most powerful humans in Sanctuary, the Council's hounds, the ones tasked with eradicating threats against Humanity.

The strongest.

Tsubaki was the youngest Enforcer in history to be eligible for the rank of Enforcer Commander, the leader of the Ten. In fact, before she left, she was the second rank, right behind the current commander and first rank Enforcer, Ji-Hun Mun.

She never wanted his position, however. From the very start, becoming an Enforcer was only a means to the end. A way to become something better.

Sanctuary was controlled by two Entities. One, the General, Cyra de Varano, and two, the Council. Each had an appointed soldier, one with the express purpose of fulfilling their orders. The two Adjutants, Tsubaki being the General's Adjutant, nicknamed 'Reaper'. The other was a man she didn’t quite like.

All of her work was for one wish. To become Cyra's Adjutant, a rank only she could fill. She was the only person in existence who was born to be the General's right hand.

After all, the General practically raised her. She was her everything.

Her parents died just a few months after she was born. Her two siblings which she never even learned the name of died years before she ever took her first breath. All of them were killed by Vampires.

The General apparently knew her parents, leading her to take her in. By all means, she was like a mother to her. Cyra was the closest thing to a parent Tsubaki had ever had, but... even still...

She only ever seemed to care about her real daughter, Rosa Varano. Never would she look at her like she did Rosa. Despite the fact Tsubaki was always ahead, always better, always better... it wasn't enough. It didn't matter that she had become the youngest Adjutant in history, nor that she developed a technique so powerful there was no equal she knew of...

It wasn't enough.

Rosa Varano was pathetic, really. She may have graduated from the Military Academy at the top of her grade, but she was stuck as a private. She wasn't smart, or talented, or skilled... she was average, at best. And yet...

Yet, Tsubaki still felt inferior to her. It made no sense.

"Tsu~?"

She was snapped out of her thoughts, turning her head to see the woman walking towards her, her skin tan and eyes green. Her hair, a dark auburn, was rather short and messy.

The second rank Enforcer who had taken her place after she was promoted. A woman with an Innate Aura Technique nobody but her truly understood.

"... Cozbi." She took a step forward, standing in front of her, "Let's go already. Activate your Technique."

“No small talk? Shame..." Cozbi's voice was low, a tinge of an accent audible in her voice, "Oh well..."

Cozbi placed a hand on her shoulder, her gray Aura beginning to release as it surrounded them both.

"Innate Technique: Rift."

At first, they were in nature, surrounded by trees and foliage.

Then, in just one moment, they were surrounded by solid walls on all sides, a metal door the only exit out. It was relatively empty, only filled with handmade dolls, each unique and formed with incredible care.

As Tsubaki kept he Aura Sight on constantly, she couldn't help but notice how each was intertwined with an Aura signature identical to Cozbi's. She had a few theories on how her Technique worked, but she knew she wouldn't be able to attempt a similar trick.

After all, the amount of Aura Cozbi possessed was unparalleled, many times higher than anybody else she had ever seen. The only one that even came close was Ji-Hun or the other Adjutant, and even then, the difference was horrifying.

She couldn't help but wonder how it was possible.

"Hm? Just where are you going?" Cozbi questioned her as Tsubaki began to walk forward towards the door, her hand falling off her shoulder.

"The mission is complete. I need to make my report." She narrowed her eyes at Cozbi, "The General is waiting."

"So? Just call her, then."

"No. I'd rather not waste any more time."

"Hmmm..."

Before she could even react, Cozbi was behind her, a knife held to her neck as she pushed her against the wall. Their eyes met, Tsubaki having turned just before she was cornered.

"How about we do this, instead?"

"... Cozbi..." She muttered, her tone low. "No."

"You know what I want, so... why not?"

She sighed as her eyes fluttered to the left, frowning. "We're both working right now... can't this wait?"

"We're never able to be alone together, though... Hahhh, ever since you left the Enforcers, I've been lonely, you know... I don't like being apart from you." Cozbi seemed to almost pout, her head leaning in closer.

"... What happened to the agreement Human Resources made you sign to not do this kind of thing?"

"We both know you don't care about whatever they say..." Her free hand traced the outline of Tsubaki's jaw, her thumb eventually falling upon her bottom lip. Her other continued to hold the knife up to her neck, just barely touching it. "I won't tell if you don't..."

She cleared her throat, "... Even so... was the knife necessary?"

"What happened to you telling me you like it?”

She couldn’t work up the will to deny her words, quickly moving past it as she ignored the faint warmth in her cheeks, "... One kiss. That's it, and only because it’s been a while. Then, I'm making my report."

She seemed surprised for a moment, as if she truly didn’t expect her to agree so easily. Then, though, the expression was gone as she smiled, "Mm... that's all I need."

Leaning in close, her lips fell upon the bottom of her jaw, placing one kiss after another as she slowly moved closer to her lips. She was gentle, slow, and precise with her movements, all in accordance to how she knew Tsubaki. She knew how Tsubaki liked to be touched, and more importantly, how to make her feel good.

Even still, Tsubaki didn't react. At least, outwardly. Her body was still while Cozbi's hand began to wander, not allowing a single twitch in her expression. She didn't want to allow her emotions to control her, not now.

She knew she wouldn't want to leave if she did.

Their lips eventually met, and the moment they did, Cozbi let her knife drop to the floor, her hand finding its way to the back of her head and her other gripping the fabric of her coat, her short nails digging into it.

Their lips moved against each other, slowly at first, then progressively picking up speed. It was a familiar, almost nostalgic motion, one they had both done with the other many times. After all, it had been their routine for a year and a bit now, something Tsubaki let happen each and every time. Cozbi was all too eager, her tongue quickly moving inside of Tsubaki's mouth, intertwining with her own.

Tsubaki's hand eventually moved upwards, reaching up to grip Cozbi's shirt as she lightly tugged on it. She didn't quite return her movements, it wasn't her style. Instead, she merely allowed Cozbi to do whatever she wished with her, not fighting it in the slightest.

That was until Cozbi's hand began to trace along her body, her fingers sliding between her thighs, her intention obvious.

Tsubaki was quick to pull away, her face flushed red, "That's enough, Cozbi. I said just a kiss..."

"Alright, sorry," She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, her eyes half closed as she stared down Tsubaki. "I must have gotten distracted..."

"I noticed," She slipped past her arms, fixing her coat and turning away from her. "I'm leaving now."

"Wait."

Cozbi grabbed her wrist, stopping her from taking another step.

"I already told you, I don't want to do anything else right now..." She muttered, not turning back to look at her.

"Not that, Tsu. I... wanted to ask you something."

"What is it, then...?"

"... When can we be in a real relationship? You know, one where we're... actually together..." Her expression was uncharacteristically soft as her fingers intertwined with her hand, giving her a gentle squeeze. "I want to be your girlfriend, not just... friends who kiss. I care a lot about what you want, but... it's almost been two years, Tsu. It's hard to wait..."

"..." Tsubaki stayed silent for an uncomfortable moment, her eyes staring down at Cozbi's hand. "I don't... know. My role as an Adjutant comes first, you know that..."

"Why can't you do both...? It's not like I'd get in the way, we already have to work together a lot, thanks to my Technique.

"I'm– I just don't know."

"... Then, can you just answer this?" Cozbi took a deep breath, her tone low and hesitant, "Do you love me, Tsu?"

"..."

Tsubaki stayed quiet.

She knew what the answer was, she knew it perfectly well.

'I... don't know.'

However, those words didn't leave her mouth.

"I love you, Cozbi."

It wasn't logical, not at all. Yet, she wasn't able to say the truth, she couldn't say what she needed to say.

She only smiled in response, shaking her head. “You’re a terrible liar. But, it makes me happy to hear anyway."

"... But–"

Cozbi leaned in once more, placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, "You don't need to rush yourself. I won't die if I have to wait a little bit more... Either way, I'm fine just being close to you. That’s all I want right now."

She let go of her hand, slowly wrapping her arms around her.

"... I love you, Tsu. Even if you can't say it back and mean it, I always will... No matter what."

"I'm sorry... You... you deserve better than someone who can't even decide whether she loves you."

"Shush. I'm not letting you get into your stupid self loathing ramble... And don't you dare start comparing yourself to your sister again, I hate listening to that..." Cozbi sighed, nuzzling into her neck. “... Even if I do love your voice.”

"... Kay." Her arms began to raise, returning the hug as she closed her eyes, "... Tonight, we can cuddle… I miss sleeping in the Enforcer barracks, anyways... and I wanna see the others..."

"Mm? Really? That sounds nice... Carmen is constantly on about how she misses you. It's boring without you, after all... especially with Apollo gone now."

"Really? I didn't think anyone would really care if I left..." She muttered, letting her head rest on her shoulder. "Hey... is it true Alice and Sera finally got together...?"

"Yeah, like a week after the attack. I'm glad... it was getting annoying watching them both be clueless idiots... but, they're cute together... I wish we had their height difference..."

"I don't. You're already six inches taller than me. Anything more is excessive..."

"But, I wanna be able to lift you up and spin you around... wouldn't that be cute?"

"You can do that at your current height– That's beside the point. I really need to get going, now..."

"Fine, I won't hold you any longer," She let go, taking a step back. Though, a sudden thought seemed to cross her mind as she quickly went to pick something up, holding it out to Tsubaki, "Here. Take this."

It was one of the many dolls sprawled across the room, one that shared a striking resemblance to Cozbi herself.

"Why...?" Despite her question, she accepted it, taking it into her hands as she stared down at the creation.

"It's so I'll be with you, in a way." She smiled, placing her hand on her hip.

"I'm going to see you again today, though... Nevermind, I'm not going to question you. Thank you." She placed the doll in her pocket, then turned towards the door, "I'll see you tonight, then."

"See you then~."

As she walked through the metal door, it was only a short walk to the elevator. Once inside, she clicked the button for the ground floor, closing her eyes as she felt the sensation of the elevator beginning to move.

She was currently six levels down, thus, it wouldn't take long for the elevator doors to open once more. Still, the quiet, faint hum of the machinery, along with the complete isolation gave her an excuse to think.

Love.

It wasn't a word she knew much of.

Her 'Mother,' as much as Tsubaki cared about her, and longed for her praise, never truly treated her like a daughter. Her relationship with her 'Sister,' too, always felt a tad disconnected, like there was something separating them. It was never hostile, nor did it make her dislike her, it just felt like she was always fighting her for the General’s attention. The General's Husband was a nice man, but he was never a Father to her. If anything, he felt like an uncle; a man that, while close, was never truly involved in her life.

But, Cozbi loved her. Seemingly more than anybody else.

'Do you love me?'

Those words rang in her head over and over, repeating as if to torture her with possibility.

"If there were alternate universes, would there exist a reality wherein I understand my feelings for her...? Would I be able to so easily say I love her as she says it to me? Is that a reality in which I can't help but to be envious of, because I don't understand my feelings as she does?"

Her grip tightened on the doll's arm, before she even realized she had taken it out of her pocket.

"... Am I capable of understanding love...? Is there no reality that I am... normal?"

Was she a person who did not know love?

No matter how much she searched, she could not find a memory gathered upon her mind where her 'Mother' or 'Father' had ever hugged her, nor a moment that she heard the painful words of ‘I love you' uttered by them.

She knew what she felt for the General, her 'Mother'. She was her everything. Her existence, her very purpose, was to be at her side and help her, but...

Was that love? Or was it her longing for her attention?

Did she not live for her? Kill for her? Work herself to the bone in hopes she would just once glance her way?

She felt tired.

"... Why am I doing this?"

When she opened her eyes, she was in front of the closed door of the General's office, her gaze locked forward upon it. She'd walked all that way in no time at all, her legs seeming to have moved on their own.

Without even waiting a moment, she knocked, her fist hitting the door three times.

"Come in, Fujioka."

"Yes, Ma'am."

As she entered the room, the woman sat behind the desk was looking down at its oak surface, her expression hidden by her hands which supported her head.

However, she did notice the faint outline of smoke coming from her.

A horrible habit. One she had no right to speak ill of in front of her.

"The last Highblood has been exterminated.”

"... Hm," Her voice was low, not even looking up to her to speak, "Good work."

Tsubaki nodded her head, placing the doll in her pocket once more as she stood in one place. As her gaze returned to the General, she couldn't resist a frown from spreading across her lips.

"General... Excuse my asking, but, are you okay?"

She took a deep breath in, speaking in a tone much more quiet than usual, "Sit, Fujioka."

"Understood." She followed the order, though it was spoken like an earnest request, moving over to sit down in the chair across from the General.

Once seated, she finally removed her hands from her head, her eyes staring straight at her. Below them were heavy, dark purple bags, her gaze itself almost hollow. Like the dead come back to life.

"... You of all people deserve to know this. Rosa... she's attempting to run from Sanctuary. She didn't even explain why she'd do something so foolish..."

Tsubaki's eyes widened as she heard the words escape her mouth, her breath almost caught in her throat as she did her best not to show any emotion.

"She's left? How long ago?"

"It... It must have been a month now. I don't even know if she's still alive... but, it's not like I can leave to look for her, can I?" She was quick to begin speaking in a low tone, her hands gripping the edge of her desk as her nails began to dig into it. "Quincy, along with a small force, were tasked with finding her as a secondary objective of their mission... I was expecting her to be killed on the spot, yet... the Council has ordered her taken alive. I don't even know whether I should be grateful or scared of what they are planning for my daughter. For her, I just..."

She'd never seen her like this. The most powerful, incredible woman she knew was now breaking down in front of her, and yet... how was she supposed to comfort her when she was so taken aback by the news?

"..."

Tsubaki was not one who was good at talking to people. She was even worse at understanding other people's emotions, let alone her own.

"All this time, I've tried to keep her away from danger. I prevented her from being scouted into the Enforcers, or even learn about Aura at all, even though she inherited her father's innate technique.... I made sure she stayed as a private in the platoon I thought she'd be the safest in... and now, this happens..." Her voice trailed off as she took a deep breath, leaning back in her chair, "I've had to watch hundreds of parents bury their own children. The thought of having to be in that position... it's sickening. I don't want to even imagine burying my own daughter..."

Tsubaki Fujioka was not her child.

That was the only thing she could think of as she watched the General, her 'Mother,' in front of her, broken and torn. As selfish and awful as it was, she couldn't help it. She couldn't help but understand her place.

She was her Adjutant.

Not her daughter.

"General, do not worry," Tsubaki forced a smile to appear on her face, "If Quincy is the one looking for her, she'll be safe. He's the fourth Ranked Enforcer for a reason. No matter how far away she runs, he'll be able to track her down... and he will not allow her to die."

"Perhaps you're right, but even still... I feel powerless. There's nothing I can do from here. And, with the Vampire attack, not only has the morale of the Military been shot, but my own authority as well. The Council practically forced me to announce we are declaring war, and even if it did secure the public's faith in me... I am not sure if that will last if a tragedy like what happened one month ago is to come again."

"I will not allow that to happen. You are the only woman fit to act as Sanctuary's General... without you, we are lost. Please, do not forget that." Her words were earnest, spoken more truthfully than she thought possible.

"... Thank you, Fujioka. And... I apologize. It is not your job to listen to me like this... I'm being selfish."

"Not at all, General. You... raised me. Helping you to the fullest extent of my ability is only right. You have no reason to thank me, let alone apologize."

“I suppose you are right…” Cyra let out a breath of air, her eyes meeting Tsubaki’s. "You truly have grown. You're no longer the quiet little girl who wouldn't talk to anyone... You've become the incredible woman sitting in front of me. I'm proud of you."

Her breath hitched, "... I only wish to live up to your expectations."

"That is something you already have reached, and gone much farther." She reached forward, her hand falling upon her head. "... I have been far too stuck in my role as General, especially as of late... In that, I must have neglected my duties as a mother, haven't I...?"

"No, not at all– Please, do not worry about such a thing, especially concerning me... My role as an Adjutant is the most important to me." Tsubaki was hectic, just what was the General– What was she…?

"That may be true for you, but not for me. I am glad to still have one of my Daughters here with me now, Tsubaki."

"... I... I am grateful... for your words."

She had never before called her by her first name.

'You are not her real daughter.'

'Don't think you're better than Rosa.'

'You will never amount to her. She is the only child of Cyra de Varano. Do not delude yourself into believing otherwise.'

Daughters. She was one of two.

She was her daughter.

Tsubaki felt a strange wetness appear at the bottom of her eyes, her vision blurring as she was barely able to see Cyra's face. "Mo... mother."

She had never allowed such words to escape her mouth before now. She wouldn't allow something she thought was so wrong to move outside her thoughts and thoughts alone.

The feeling that the word had made her feel was something she had never felt before, and yet, something so familiar. Something that was warm, and comforting. Something that, despite the pain in her heart, gave her joy.

In just a blink, or what felt like but a blink, Cyra had moved, standing before her as she pulled her into a comforting embrace.

"I'm sorry. It seems I haven't done enough for you, have I...?" Her voice was soft, almost like a whisper.

"You... you have done more than enough... please... do not say such things..." Tsubaki did not dare pull away, not now when she finally got what she wanted.

What she wanted...

Was this what she wanted?

Why did it feel a bit… wrong, then?

"No, I must. I have neglected you... this is a sin I must repent for." She held her closer, her words soft. "... I will never stop apologizing for that. I may not be able to change the past, but... I can change the future. For us."

"..."

'I am not worth holding, Mother.'

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

'Why do I not feel happy? Isn't this what I wanted? Or...'

'It should have been Rosa in my place. It should have been her.'

Tsubaki couldn't prevent the tears from continuing to fall, nor could she keep the choked sobs that left her throat. She never cried, never. After all, the General did not cry either.

But, right now, Cyra cried.

And she did not know why.

"I love you, Tsubaki. Never forget that."

Her words were not lies, nor was there anything in her tone to suggest it was. They were spoken honestly and from the heart without the slightest hint of delusion or ulterior motive.

They were real.

'She shouldn't say that to me.'

'I'm not the right one to hear it.'

'Say it to Rosa, too. She deserves it. She has worked just as hard as me, if not harder. When was the last time you said you loved her?'

Even now, her thoughts were on her. Her mother's other daughter, her sister. The one who had done so much despite all that tried to keep her in place.

Despite her envy, she could not help but respect her.

... Her envy?

Was that what she felt for her sister?

"I... I..." Her voice was nearly silent as she tried to make out the words she had been all too horrified to say for over a decade.

'Rosa should be here, too. She should be here.'

'I want her to be here.'

'After all, she worked hard... She wanted you to love her too.'

Her thoughts were scrambled as they began to make sense, as they began to understand.

'Is that... how it is?'

The unknowable feeling that appeared whenever she thought of her. The feeling she thought was jealousy, the feeling that, deep down, she had always known the true composition of.

"I..."

'It was never our Mother I was trying to get to look my way. I wasn't trying to make her appreciate everything I did, to make her love me. It wasn't her. It was never her... Because...'

"... I love you, Mom."

'I love Rosa.'

It was those words that she never believed she was able to say sincerely.

Those were words that were a lie, and yet, were completely honest.

Tsubaki was not a normal person. She knew that for a fact ever since she was young. She never understood human emotions, never understood herself, and never understood how the world was supposed to work. It was all too confusing.

And now, she had come to realize the feelings she had buried within her, and the ones she had never understood. The ones she now began to understand.

She loved her sister. The one girl who understood her, who understood what it was like to want to be appreciated, to be loved. She knew the pain, the strife. The pointless hollowness and endless sorrow whenever she was ignored for but a moment.

The girl she had hated, the girl who she had envied, was the one girl she felt like she could call a friend. A person she could truly open up to.

Not the same love Cozbi felt for her, but a love that was special all the same.

If only she had realized sooner, maybe it would be better. Maybe then, the words could be spoken to the person who they were truly directed towards.

"... I love you... I love you."

But, for now, she would have to wait to say them to her.

Not until she came back, and she knew she'd be back. She knew she'd see her Sister again.

"I love you too, Tsubaki."

"... I'm glad."

'I'm glad I was able to realize this. It was thanks to you, after all. Even if you ignored us for so long, you still finally gave me the strength to say it. To accept it. Even if it isn't for Rosa, I can accept it. I can accept what I have now. And I will work for what I want.'

'So, please... lend me the strength to say it to someone else too. Someone who I also want to love.'

–

The Enforcer Barracks were located just by Military HQ, right in the middle of the city. After all, they had to be able to reach each side of Central City as quickly as possible, in the case of an emergency.

Despite its name, it was almost luxurious compared to the rest of the housing in the city. Each Enforcer had their own private room large enough to fit whatever they needed. It was split into three floors, the first containing the training grounds, the second, the living space, and the third, the bedrooms.

Though, to get inside, you needed a key card only granted to a select few. Conveniently, Tsubaki was allowed to keep hers in order to access the training grounds. The same area she was about to enter right now.

Swiping her card, the door automatically opened, taking a step inside. The moment she did, a human body was flown into the wall beside her, just barely missing her.

It was a large man, one who quickly fell to the ground as they began to cough up blood.

"Are you even trying, Gavreel?" The sound of a feminine voice came from the opposite end of the room, hitting her fist into her palm. "Get up, I'm not done with you!"

The man, Gavreel, let out a groan, his face contorted in pain as he looked up to the woman and stood. "Bastard! You'll pay for that one, Hitty!"

"Pay? You haven't hit me once! I haven’t even needed to use my barrier Technique, dipshit!" She yelled back, the flowing Aura around her spiking as she spoke. "Try harder, or you'll be on the ground for hours!"

She had Russet brown skin with long, blackish-brown hair that was tied into a tight braid. Her eyes were gray, and her uniform was worn askew, the tie missing and her shirt untucked.

The Tenth rank Enforcer, Hitty Carter. Despite her being the current lowest ranked of them all, it was by no means because of her lack of strength. She simply didn't carry out many missions, unlike the rest of the more motivated members. Along with that, despite having a highly coveted barrier technique…

She was a complete muscle head who preferred punching her problems.

"Because you keep dodging like a coward!" Gavreel yelled back, his fists clenched tight.

Gavreel Dern, on the other hand, had slightly lighter skin, with a buzzed head and a scar across his cheek. He wore his uniform properly, albeit wrinkled.

He was the Eight Rank, though was one of the newer members alongside Alice and Sera.

"It's called not being a dumbass! You'd be dead in a minute if we were actually fighting, moron!"

Tsubaki watched the two as they argued, yawning as she stepped forward, trying her best not to be noticed. She made her way towards the nearby stairs, her hand trailing along the railing as she walked.

However, her movement did not go unnoticed.

"Tsubaki?! Didn't even see you come in!" Hitty waved over to her, causing Gavreel's attention to quickly turn her way as well.

"Reaper?! Where?! You–"

While he was distracted, Hitty sucker punched him, the man falling to the ground once again.

"Hah! Shouldn't have gotten distracted!" She stepped over his limp body, rushing over to Tsubaki with a smirk on her face.

"Hello... I see you're as violent as ever."

"Ehh, only when it comes to idiots," She wrapped an arm around her shoulder, leaning down just enough to be the same height. "Whatcha doing here? Don't tell me I'm finally gonna get the chance to fight you?"

"I do not fight humans, you know that." Tsubaki avoided her gaze, sighing, "I'm looking for Cozbi. Is she here?"

"That's a shame... Oh, and she's currently hanging out with Carmen and Maria in the lounge.”

"Alright, thank you. I'll be on my way, then."

"Already? Can't we catch up?"

"I'd recommend looking behind you, first."

"Hm? Why would–"

In that moment, Gavreel grabbed her, slamming her down back into the arena. He jumped over the railing to continue his attack, but Hitty had recovered before then, catching his fist.

Tsubaki didn't care what happened next, instead continuing up the stairs, leaving them both behind.

She reached the second floor in less than a moment, opening the door to the lounge. As the name implied, it was a large area filled with tables, couches, and televisions, used primarily for relaxation.

As she entered, the room was relatively empty, save for the three sitting at a nearby table.

Cozbi sat with her legs crossed, her head immediately turning to Tsubaki as she entered. A smile crossed her face as she stood, waving to her.

"Hi, Tsu~."

"Tsu-Tsu! I missed you!" The pink haired girl, Carmen, immediately got up from her seat, rushing over to Tsubaki and hanging onto her. She was only a few inches shorter than her, and her grip upon her was almost painful.

Tsubaki blinked down, her expression stagnant as she stared at her. "... I missed you too." She was a bit surprised by her hug, not really able to return it, but she didn't push her away, either.

"Carmen, let her breathe."

The last of the group, a woman with short, scruffy blonde hair and a scar over her eye, sighed as she spoke, standing up as well.

"Fineeee..." Carmen let go, simply smiling up at Tsubaki.

Maria Van Hellsing. The Seventh Ranked Enforcer, having just recently taken the role from her father. She was a quiet, reserved girl, one who wasn't often seen hanging around the others.

"Hello, Tsubaki," She nodded her head, a small smile spreading across her lips. "I am glad to see you well."

"You as well."

She got along with her well, or, she thought she did. She supposed it was because they both didn't talk much, but she was never able to see what hid under her icy gaze.

Cozbi had approached Tsubaki as well, wrapping her arms around her waist and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "I'm glad you could make it... I'd kiss you, but... there are children present."

Carmen tilted her head, blinking unknowingly. "There's children here...? Who? Maria is not a child..."

"Who indeed..." Tsubaki sighed, leaning into Cozbi with her eyes closed.

Maria cleared her throat, placing her hands behind her back as she stared down the three. "I must retire now. It was a... nice afternoon. Thank you for the invitation, Cozbi."

"'Course. It's not often I get the chance to talk to you." She smiled, waving goodbye.

"Bye, Mari!" Carmen replicated the motion, her tone cheerful.

Once the door had closed, Carmen quickly turned to Tsubaki, a grin on her face. "You're staying here, right!? Can we play?!"

Cozbi held her a bit closer, smirking as she looked down at Carmen, "I'm afraid she's alllll mine tonight. I need to... catch up with her, after all."

"Mmmm... Fine...! Maybe tomorrow, then!"

"Sure." Tsubaki nodded her head.

"Kay! Then, I'm going back to my room. Bye-bye!" She turned on her heel, heading out the same door Maria left through.

"... She's nearly twenty eight and still acts like a child... such a strange creature..." Tsubaki leaned her head against Cozbi's shoulder, sighing.

"I think it's nice. I always wanted a little sister."

The word almost caused her to flinch, but she quickly recovered.

"Spoken like a true only child."

Cozbi only rolled her eyes, pulling her over to a nearby couch and sitting down on it. She pulled Tsubaki down with her, her hand staying locked with hers even after they were both sat.

"How'd things go with your oh-so important report?"

Tsubaki looked away for a moment, her eyes low. However, when a rare smile crossed her lips, she met Cozbi's eyes.

"Good. It went well." She quieted for a moment before continuing, "I was made aware of certain... events, however. And before you ask, I'm quite sure you can't hear about it."

"Well, seeing you smile usually means good things... But to think they hide things even from me! You know, people don't appreciate just how useful I am... Without me, I bet nothing would get done!" She sighed, though her words were spoken in a lighthearted tone.

"Mmm... more specifically, your Technique..."

"Pshhh, and who's that Technique attached to?"

Tsubaki suddenly leaned in closer, her body nearly atop the other's. "The girl I love."

The response seemed to catch her off guard, her eyes fluttering wide and a red tint appearing on her cheeks. "... I thought it was weird how you let me act like that in front of everyone... You're... serious this time...?"

"I was confused for a while... And I thought I couldn't love you until I was useful for my Mother... But, I was just making excuses."

It wasn't the full truth, but it was the truth.

"... You definitely had an eventful meeting. I didn't even think it was possible for you to call her that..." Cozbi sighed, though she quickly allowed herself to smile as well, "I'm happy for you... And... I’m also hoping you’ll say that to me again..."

"I love you. And I'm not the least bit unsure anymore." She leaned her head into the crook of her neck, holding onto her arm tightly.

"Huh. I didn't realize... it would feel so nice to just hear you say that for real."

A tight, though not painful, feeling erupted in her chest, her heart beating quicker. "I'm sorry for making you wait so long..."

"It was worth the wait... but, I know a way you could make it up to me."

"And that would be...?"

"A kiss. Or several."

Tsubaki nodded, moving as to allow Cozbi a better angle, sitting still as she waited.

"Not quite..." Cozbi pulled her onto her, leaning forward to whisper in her ear, "I want you to start it this time..."

She tilted her head as she straddled Cozbi's lap, "Is there any difference...?"

"A huge one."

"... Alright... I suppose..." She swallowed, hesitantly leaning in closer to her face, "I could try..."

"I'm not gonna make you do it if you don't want to..."

"I want to." She leaned in further, closing her eyes as her lips connected with Cozbi's.

On paper, it was the same. Her lips were soft and her touch was warm. But, she was right, it really was different. There was something inside her that made her chest burn, and her mind felt almost hazy.

She tried to do the same thing Cozbi did. Her head was tilted slightly to stop their noses from bumping into each other, she wrapped her arms around her neck, and even parted her lips just a bit to allow their tongues to barely touch at times before they fully deepened the kiss.

She was good at copying other people. Something she did often in all sorts of situations. Although, here, she was not quite able to perfectly replicate her movements. Unlike Cozbi, who's movements were trained, slow, and precise, hers were hasty, almost desperate in its fierceness. As if she was afraid it was going to be taken away from her.

It was hard for her to tell whether she was doing well or not, she had no frame of reference, but, judging by how Cozbi didn't once break the kiss nor try to slow down, she had to assume she was doing okay.

When the two finally pulled away, it was only for them to breathe. A thin line of saliva hung between them, not even breaking as their pants synched.

"You... did good… For your first time initiating…" Cozbi let out a breathless chuckle, a smile spreading across her lips.

"Mm..." She wiped the saliva from Cozbi's bottom lip, breaking the strand, "I think I still prefer when you do it..."

"Then, why don't we continue somewhere else...? You did say we could cuddle..."

"Right... cuddle..."

-

Tsubaki was pushed down onto the soft bed, her arms splayed above her by gravity's whim. Unlike Cozbi, she didn't really like an overly soft bed, nor how she almost sank into it. She much preferred something more firm, something that was easier to get up out of during the morning. It was always difficult getting up.

The bed wasn't what she was focused on, however. At least, not completely. No, the woman currently crawling atop her was far more attention grabbing.

She was quite thin, especially compared to the other Enforcer's, though not at all to an unhealthy level. She simply did not need to rely on her physical body considering it was a rare thing for her to be in combat, despite being one of the most prevalent Enforcer's in the entire city. Her Technique, Rift, was just that useful.

It wasn't that she was trying to stare at her body, however. It was just the more prominent thing in her current field of vision, and she just happened to not look away.

She wasn't even aware Cozbi had begun to pull her tie off until it was already halfway undone, "I kept forgetting to mention it, but I like your new uniform... black really does look great on you."

"Thank you... I don't really get why I couldn't keep my old Enforcer one, though... I liked it..."

She had begun to unbutton the shirt, her fingers moving as if it was something she did many a time before, "You gotta look the part of an Adjutant, don't you? Besides... I think it makes you look professional. Who doesn’t love a woman in uniform…?"

"It's not really my job to look pretty, though..."

"True, but that doesn't stop you..." She finally reached the last button, slowly pulling the shirt open as her fingers began to trail down her stomach, "Must be more of a hobby, right...?"

She jolted a bit from her touch, her hands immediately grabbing onto the blanket below her, her eyes averting the other's gaze. "I don't do it on purpose..."

"Wow, natural talent is so rare these days..." She teased, her hand trailing further down as she began to unbuckle her belt.

"You're just trying to get a reaction out of me..."

"Is it working?"

"Obviously..."

Cozbi smirked, "Just checking."

When the belt came undone, she tossed it aside, the metal engraved upon the faux leather clashing against the floor. Tsubaki winced a bit at the sudden noise, though didn't react much beyond that as she focused on the gentle sensations caused by Cozbi's touch.

With the belt out of the picture, it was far more comfortable to lie atop the other, her hands tracing upon the fabric of Tsubaki's black sports bra. It was the only kind she ever wore, simply being the most convenient, comfortable, and practical.

"Your heart's racing... My, could that be my fault?" Cozbi's fingers were soft, the feeling of them trailing along her bare skin causing a shiver to run down her spine.

"Shut up..." Tsubaki's voice was a low whisper as she averted her gaze, her head falling to the side.

"I think we're past the part where you're allowed to get embarrassed from something like that," She leaned down, her lips landing upon Tsubaki's neck.

Her breath hitched as the Cozbi's lips moved along her skin, something between a huff and a gasp escaping her throat. "Well– It's... different. This is the first time as an actual couple..."

The words seemed to catch Cozbi off guard, rising slightly as she looked her in the eyes, "We... we are, now...?"

"If you want... I think I'm willing, now..."

"Of course I do. I love you." She pulled her into a hug, her arms struggling for a moment to get under her back.

Tsubaki was quick to wrap her own arms around her as well, a soft smile spreading across her lips, "I love you too..."

The two were silent for a moment, simply holding each other close and listening to the faint, warm breaths of the other. However, that silence could not last forever as Cozbi leaned in close to her ear.

"I'm gonna make sure you're a whimpering mess by the end of this." Her voice was quiet, speaking only to her and her alone.

She wasn't sure whether it was her words or the tone which made her heart skip a beat.

"... Do your worst."

–

In the end, they did cuddle. Just not until after Cozbi had carried out her promise, and then some.

Though, now, Tsubaki's simply rested alongside her, her body laying atop the other's as her head laid upon her chest. Cozbi's heartbeat was slow and steady, her breathing deep as she held her close.

It was warm. She enjoyed being warm.

She didn't typically like the sensation of sleeping unclothed, but she could make an exception this time, especially with the soft blankets covering her and Cozbi's body.

Unlike her, Cozbi was still fully clothed, only her coat missing. She wasn't one for being naked at all, for somebody who was so shameless in most things she did.

But even now, as their legs were tangled and their bodies pressed together, it didn't prevent the thoughts.

'I could kill her right now. Decay would be able to turn her to nothing but rot without her even realizing she had died, and she wouldn't be able to defend with her Aura fast enough.'

But, she hated that. She wouldn’t, right?

'That's my purpose, isn't it? Am I really allowing myself to love just because of the events of today?'

It was a strange feeling that came from the knowledge she was completely capable of killing the one she loved. A horrible one.

'But... I don't want to.'

'When has that changed my mind, though? I do not kill Vampires because I want to. I kill because it's what I am to do.'

'Love and hate exist on separate planes of existence. What makes it right for you to feel both?'

The feeling was painful, in a way. Something that clawed, bit at her like a hidden pest. One she knew was there, but could not do anything about.

'My sister has deserted, yet I am here. I have chosen to instead allow myself to love Cozbi, instead of working towards solving a much more pressing issue. Is that correct?'

'Or, am I doing this to not only accept my feelings for Cozbi, but her as well? As different as they may be, they are both forms of love. Love.'

'Love. Love. Love. Love. Love.'

'Love.'

"... Tsu... You're holding on a bit... tight..."

"Huh?" She was snapped out of her thoughts, her eyes blinking towards Cozbi's face. "Sorry... did I wake you?"

"Yeah... but, don't worry about it.” Cozbi yawned, pulling her closer as Tsubaki did the opposite, "Trouble sleeping?"

"Not really..." She leaned into her arms, breathing quietly.

'Wrong. That's wrong. Why are you lying?'

"Just..." Tsubaki froze, the words refusing to come out, "... I'm going to be leaving early tomorrow. Probably before you wake up."

'That's not what you were going to say.'

"Hm? Ah... okay. I'll miss you..." Cozbi placed a peck upon her cheek, "It'll be tough not waking up beside you."

'Why.'

"You manage it every other day. You'll live," She sighed, leaning her head back upon her chest.

"Maybe I won't... I miss the slow mornings we used to have..."

"You're just lazy." Tsubaki huffed.

"Guilty as charged..."

'Why do you go back on everything? You can never make a decision and stick to it. This one, you can't go back on, though. This one is serious.'

'You love her, right? That's what the feeling you get is. That's the only explanation.'

'You chose it.'

'Chose her.'

'Why are you even saying these things to me? Did I do something wrong? Am I supposed to do something?'

'The fact you don't know says it all. You don't know, and yet, you do. You've made your decision. So, why don't you act like it?'

"Because, I love you."

'I love her.'

"... Eh? I love you too, but... what do you mean 'because'?"

Tsubaki felt her eyes sting as her head was pressed further into the crook of her neck.

'Liar. You love Rosa.'

'I love both of them in different ways. I can love them both. Shouldn't someone be able to love their family and partner?'

'But, you're not a regular someone. You are the Reaper, an instrument of death. And tools do not need family or partners. They do not need to be happy. They don't deserve it. They don't have that luxury. You gave that away. All of it.'

'No, you can feel love, but you can't love multiple people. You do not have enough room for that. Your heart is too small.'

'You were never a good sister. Maybe you can do better as a girlfriend.'

'Why can't all of you just shut up?! I just want to be happy! I want Cozbi to be happy! I want Rosa to be happy! And as much as she has done me wrong in the past, I want my mother to be happy! What's wrong with wanting that?!'

'I was never a good daughter, I was never enough.'

'She only truly cared about me when Rosa was out of the picture. I should hate her for that.'

'I don't! I love her, I care about her! Isn't she a person too? Doesn't she deserve my understanding unconditionally?'

'No, no, no, no. This is all wrong. You should hate all of them. They've all done you wrong in the past. Rosa has never been there for you, she doesn't care about you. Your Mother, she ignored you, never treated you as a daughter when it's all you needed. And Cozbi? Has she not coerced you before? Just this morning, she held a knife up to your neck wanting to kiss you, even after you said no. Did you not only allow it because you felt you owed her? Or because you were scared?

"Tsu...? Are you..." Cozbi's voice was quiet.

'No, I wasn't. I wasn't. We've talked about that, I like it. It makes me feel... excited. And I am not angry at her for it, nor do I hold anything against her for it. I liked kissing her, I like kissing her, and I like when she touches me. I feel safe and warm with her, and I feel… good.'

'You shouldn't even enjoy any of it. Disgusting whore.'

'Does Cozbi even love me? Maybe she just likes my body, likes me sexually. But, she only ever gives me pleasure, she wouldn't even take off her clothes today. Why doesn't she want me to make her feel good too?'

'She must have her reasons, and I think she's opening up. She wanted me to kiss her first, to take action and to give to her. And she did not push me away. She was happy. She must have been.'

'But it's our nature to take and not give. Do not forget that. We're killers. You're not such an idiot to believe the many Vampires you kill are emotionless beasts, lying creatures. They had families, friends, lovers. But we killed them, all of them. We've killed children in cold blood. Watched as they turned into rotting liquid. It's what we do. We take from everyone.'

'Shut up. They deserved it.'

'Even the children? They didn't live long enough to do anything wrong.'

'They shouldn't have been born in the first place. It's better that they're dead.'

'I want to give, though. I want to make the people I love happy.'

'Am I insane? Why is it all so loud? Can't you just be quiet and let me be happy with her? Is that so much to ask?'

'Who am I even talking to? It's just me. It's just me thinking. Am I really arguing with myself?'

'You talk to yourself a lot. This is the same. It’s not like this is something new, you just managed to avoid it most of the day.'

"Tsubaki...? Hey, it's okay..." She didn't know who was talking anymore, their voices blending into a cacophony of sound, "Breathe, okay? I– Deep breaths..."

'She's trying to comfort you. Don't you feel guilty? Your tears aren't even real, they're another lie. She's trying so hard for your sake and you just ignore her. You can't even muster a word, can't even thank her. Is it so hard to talk? What are you, a child again? A child that couldn't talk until she was twelve? No, you’re not her, not anymore. You grew, and now you’re an adult.'

'Adults don't cry, stop it. Stop it. You're not a child anymore. Stop it. Please. No more. She'll yell at you again, they'll get mad.'

'It's okay to cry. That's what Carmen told me.'

'But Carmen acts like a child. You shouldn't even listen to her, not someone that immature. She's a monster. A freak of nature. How is she allowed to even walk around freely, to speak and laugh, to live, when she's done so much wrong? Didn't she grow up in an orphanage? She doesn't even have any parents. Why do the rest of the Enforcers act like they're friends with her?'

'Because we're friends. All of us.'

'We don't have any parents, either. They died and I can't even remember them... the General isn't our mother. She just felt pity and decided to raise us.'

"Do you need me to get you something...? I don't..."

'She said today we're her daughter. She has to be our mother. She's a good mother. She's caring, and kind, and...'

'No, she's not. She's cold and distant and mean. She yelled at you for crying. She always yells at you. You keep her safe and she doesn't even thank you. You defend her body with your Aura and let yourself get hurt all so she's fine. And she just ignores you. Orders you to leave her alone, to shut up. You're not her daughter, she doesn't love you. She's using you and she never will.'

'Then what even are we if we're not her daughter?'

'We're nothing to her, huh'

'Exactly.'

'But I love her.'

'She doesn't love us.'

'She loves you. It's okay.'

"Tsu... I don't know how to help you if you don't... if you don't tell me how. Do you want me to just shut up? C... can you nod?"

'She can't help you. Don't reply, don't even look at her.'

'She can't understand. None of them can understand what it's like. Nobody can. There's no point in explaining.'

'They don't deserve your explanation. They don't deserve your love or your thoughts or your mind or your body. You owe them nothing. Nothing. Not even an acknowledgement. The only one that matters is yourself. Don't forget that.'

'She deserves an explanation. They all do. They are all important to me. I love them.'

'You can't. You can't love them. Just give it up.'

'I don't know what's right and wrong anymore.'

'I don't even know what's real anymore. Nothing's right, everything's wrong. What is right, then? If none of it's real, and I don't even know what's right and what's wrong anymore, and they're all just lying to me and they hate me and I hate me, then what is even left for me? Do I just kill myself now? Is that easier? Is it easier than this? I can't do anything. I don't deserve to live. I'm a bad person. I'm a horrible person. I've hurt so many people, and I'm not even sure I regret it.'

'I have no idea what I'm supposed to do, who I'm supposed to be. Who am I?'

'Oh, that's an easy one.'

'I'm the Reaper.'

'I'm Cozbi's girlfriend.'

‘I’m Tsu.’

'I'm the General's Daughter.'

'I'm a sister.'

'I'm the General's Adjutant.'

'I'm me.'

'I'm Tsubaki Fujioka.'

'I can't be all of those. I have to pick one. I have to be only one.'

'All the others will be gone if I pick only one.'

'You are who you want to be. Don't forget that.'

'I don't want to be any of them! I just want to be loved!'

'Love is a privilege, and you don't have that privilege. That's the truth of the world.'

'The truth?! Don't talk to me about the truth! None of this is even real! You're all my own voice lying to me, trying to convince me of something! You're not real! This is all a dream, it has to be. Wake up! Wake up! I can't keep listening to this, I can't keep living with these thoughts in my head!'

'Stupid. What makes you the real one? Who decides what is and isn't real? What even is reality? Is the world you're in real? Or is it the real one, and you're the delusion, the lie? You could be a figment of somebody else's imagination, a character created by somebody who doesn't know how to deal with their own problems, and decided to throw their issues upon you. Are you even real?'

'But I'm real. I know I am, I can feel, I can think, I can...'

'I'm also real, though. I have all the same qualities, the same feelings, the same desires. The only difference is the perspective. And who is to say whose perspective is the real one?'

'I do, and it's mine.'

'Who are you, though?'

'She's Tsubaki.'

'No, I'm Tsu.'

'That's not who we are, don't be childish. We're to be called Fujioka. That's our family name, the one we are proud to bear.'

'It's not mine. It's the family name of the family I never met. Why aren't I Tsubaki Varano? That's my Mother's family name, so it should be mine.'

'She's not even our mom.'

'We're going in circles! I can't even hear Cozbi anymore because of us! Just stop! Shut up, all of you!'

'Do you even want to hear her?'

'I do! I want to hear her voice! I want to be close to her! I want to feel her lips on mine and I want her to touch me and I want to touch her! I want to experience everything that makes up a relationship!'

'I want to cuddle with her, I want to hug her.'

'But I also want to just talk to her. Talking is nice. It doesn't have to be serious, it doesn't have to be deep. We can just talk about nothing.'

'I can't do that and also want to kiss her. Friends talk, lovers kiss.'

'Lovers go further than just kissing, too. They have sex and touch each other, they're intimate in all sorts of ways.'

'What even is sex? Does it have to involve two sexual organs touching? Because, if that's the case, we haven't had sex. We haven't done anything like that, but she has touched me on the vulva.'

'Why do you only use scientific terms? Are you scared to accept the reality you put yourself in?'

'That's not even mentioning the fact we're both women. She couldn't get me pregnant, isn't that the point of it? Is procreation the ultimate goal? What's even the point of pleasure? Is it not just a biological incentive?'

'I wouldn't want to have children. I don't think I'd like raising a child either. I'd be a horrible mother.'

‘I was never taught how to be one in the first place.’

'What if Cozbi wants them? Wouldn't I just be useless, then?'

'No, we could adopt.'

'But I don't want to. I don't want children. I don't want to be a mother. It's just not for me.'

'That's beside the point. Sex is more than just procreation or even pleasure. It's a connection. Two bodies and two minds becoming one for a short moment. It's a feeling you can't describe in words. It's special.'

'That's right. We'd feel horrible if we were to do it with anyone else. It's her that makes it fun, that makes it nice. It's only with her.'

'So, why are we questioning it? She's the only one for us. We have her, and we're dating her. That's enough, isn't it?'

'People used to get married. I read about it once. It's where two people who love each other promise to stay together forever, and exchange rings to prove it. Marriage was something special, reserved only for people who were deeply in love and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.'

'Then why would the act of divorce even exist?'

'Because people change.'

'Will I change? Will she change?'

'Will she stop loving me? What would I do, then? I don't think I could love anyone except her, at least romantically. She's the only one that makes me feel good, the only one that treats me kindly. The only one that has ever kissed me, and made love to me. She's my first.'

'My first.'

'She kissed me before today, too. Before we were a couple. She kissed me when we were just friends. Isn’t that wrong? Isn’t it supposed to be something just for couples?’

'We did more than that, too. We went so much further. It was embarrassing and uncomfortable sometimes, but it was fun. More than fun, it was nice. Euphoric.'

'I really enjoyed the first time. I still remember it. When she took my first. It was amazing. It felt like... I can't even explain it.'

'It was so scary. I didn't want her to see me like that. It felt gross and wrong, and it was a bit painful.'

'That's because you shouldn't feel like that. You shouldn't have sex with her, you shouldn't even be attracted to her. It's absolutely disgusting. You're a perverted freak. A slut that just wants her to make you feel good. And you like when she does dangerous things to you. You like when she cuts you or chokes you or threatens you. Why do you like it so much when she forces you? When she degrades you? Only a filthy whore would like such a thing.'

'Why do we even have a safe word? We've never used it before.'

'We're not supposed to. We're supposed to keep going until she feels satisfied. It's only fair, right? She's doing all the work.'

'The safe word is important, even if we haven't had to say it. We can always say it if we don't want her to continue, and vice versa. Even if we've always wanted her to not stop, we can't predict the future.'

'I'm not a 'whore' for enjoying it. I'm allowed to, there's nothing stopping us and we're both safe. Why is there anything wrong with enjoying sex? Aren't we supposed to? Wouldn't it be bad if we weren't?'

'But I am a whore. I like it because I'm addicted to her touch, because I need her more than anything else. I'd let her do anything to me at any time and I wouldn't even put up a fight. I need her. I love her. And I don't want to think when I'm with her, I just want to feel. That's all I'm worth.'

'Shut up. I'm allowed to like it and to be more than just that, more than what I enjoy sexually. Yes, I like when she uses a knife on me and makes me bleed. I like when she bites me until the skin breaks, and I like when she ties a rope around my neck. I like when she calls me mean names. I like when she holds her blade against my throat, threatening to slit it. The thought of it makes my heart race and I don't know why. But, still, I also like when she kisses me. I like when she holds me tight and tells me she loves me. I like when she compliments me! When she calls me pretty and cute and all sorts of nice things! I like when she holds my hand and plays with my hair! And I like when she smiles and laughs! I want her to smile and laugh all the time, because she deserves it! She's such an amazing person who wants to keep people safe, even if she comes off weird or off putting sometimes! She can't even kill a Vampire despite being an Enforcer because she's so kind! She was the first person to actually tell me she loves me! No one else could do that! She was always with me!'

'And, even when she does leave superficial cuts on our body, she makes sure to always clean them and bandage them. She says sorry if she ever puts too much pressure and she sobbed for nearly an hour that one time a cut left a scar! We told her again and again that it was okay and it would fade away eventually, but she still felt horrible for it.'

'She always comforts you after, too. She always says nice things and talks about how you did well, and gives you so much praise and so much love. She likes praising you just as much as she enjoys degrading you, just in different ways. The same can be said for you. Both feel good, but your heart races differently. And that's okay.'

'So, we're not any of those horrible things. We're just a person.'

'Exactly.'

'... I have to be losing my mind. Maybe I should rest.'

'You can't, not yet.'

'Why?'

'Because Cozbi is crying too, now. Because of us.'

Tsubaki slowly lifted her head, beginning to process the world once more. Her eyes fell upon the one in front of her, tears having fallen down upon her cheeks just as the same was true for her.

Cozbi sniffled, staring back as her eyes fluttered. "I'm... sorry. I just got... sad. When I saw you crying... I really hate it. I wanted to... help, but... I..."

'What do you even mean? You already are helping. Just seeing your face makes everything better.'

'But it's our fault she's crying in the first place.'

'I'm still crying too.'

Tsubaki leaned in closer, wiping a tear from Cozbi's face, "I'm sorry too... I was having a moment."

'What do you mean by a moment? Why do you keep hiding what you're really dealing with? All the thoughts, the pain, the feelings you can't explain. Why do you have to deal with it alone?'

"You okay now?" Her eyebrows were turned slightly in concern as she softly asked.

'You could tell her the truth. That you're far from normal and nobody has ever explained anything to you. That you're struggling to figure out what to do and who to be and you just want to be loved and held and taken care of. Your thoughts are always so loud, and it's so hard to control your feelings.'

'But it's not that simple.'

"Mm... I think so... Sorry if I worried you..." Tsubaki's words were quiet as she cupped Cozbi's cheek with the same hand that wiped her tears.

"Don't worry about that... I'm just glad you're okay. Do you need me to do anything?"

"Just... be here."

Cozbi gave a small nod, her own hand resting over Tsubaki's. She gently pushed into her touch, her fingers soft as she caressed the skin of her palm.

'It's warm.'

"You're warm..." She murmured, her fingers tracing across the lines etched upon the skin of her hand.

"Mm, really? Are you sure you aren’t cold? I could go get your shirt... it's probably around here somewhere..."

'Despite the fact it's winter, we aren't cold. It must be because of her.'

'Or the heater.'

"No, I'm not... It's perfect." Her body pushed up a tad closer to Cozbi, the blanket falling a bit from her shoulders as she nuzzled her head into the crook of the other's neck.

Her breath was gentle against her skin, her eyes falling half closed.

Cozbi only gave a faint hum of acknowledgement, placing her free arm upon her back as she traced up her spine.

"... I do wish we could stay like this forever, you know," Tsubaki spoke in a near whisper, her voice muffled against her skin. "I... don't want to leave tomorrow. I wanna be with you..."

"You know you can't," Cozbi's own tone was a low murmur, "but, I promise, I'll be here when you come back. Okay?"

"... Kay..." She quieted for a moment, a slight frown on her face, "I'm sorry."

"What for...?"

"... I've always acted like my job is more important than you. I even... left you and the others just to become an Adjutant… I never should have done that, I..." Her words trailed off, her grip on her tightening.

"Oh, Tsu... You don't need to apologize for that... I get it, I really do..."

"But... I'm always busy, and you said it yourself how we almost never get to be alone with each other. It's not fair... and I want to change that..."

"We're together now, aren't we?"

"Does that matter...? We used to be together almost every second... We got to be close every day and I... I abandoned that. I abandoned you..."

"Gavreel might think that, but the rest of us don't... Especially me. It was always your dream to be more, and you reached that. It's a good thing."

"I only thought that was my dream... Don't laugh, but I just wanted the General to be proud of me..."

She lied, and she knew she lied. She wanted to impress her sister.

"Why would I laugh at that...? You love your mom a lot... It's cute."

'Do I really?'

"I love you too, though. Maybe... more than her. A lot more..." Tsubaki's voice grew more and more muddled as her eyes threatened to close.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," Her voice was airy, quiet. "But you really should get some sleep..."

"... I don't wanna. If I sleep, it'll be tomorrow... And I won't see you tomorrow... I don't want tomorrow. I just want today..."

"Tsu... If I wasn't so tired, I'd kiss you. You're adorable..."

"... Cruel. You can't say that... and expect me to... want to sleep. Now, you have to..."

"Tsu, no," Cozbi's words were firm, though her tone was soft.

"I won't be able to sleep until you do... Please..."

"Okay... Okay, fine... One kiss. Then, you're going straight to sleep.”

A smile spread across Tsubaki's lips as she looked up at her, "That's all I need."

Tsubaki Fujioka was not a normal person. She never had been. However, today, she could pretend she was.