What is it like to live without the ability to provide security for yourself and your family? Every day I wake up wondering why my life is like this. Why didn't our father leave the business for the sake of the family? I first learned about what his company did when I was 12 years old. I overheard a phone conversation late at night. I had a habit of standing outside the door before running into the room. But that day, I stayed standing there.

- I know, but I don't have time for this. Tomorrow I'm going on vacation with my wife and children out of town. There won't be any connection. - At first it seemed like a normal conversation. My father really wanted to spend some time with us. My mother kept asking him to move things along and free up some time.

- So figure it out yourself, if they interfere, just get rid of people quietly. - The first time I heard such a phrase. - We need this deal. - I felt a sharp feeling of cold inside. I pressed myself against the wall trying to understand what exactly was being discussed. My father's voice was becoming rougher and more furious. Maybe it was a dream?

After a while he calmed down and moved on to another topic. Only his words sounded even worse. He spoke without regret, as if there was nothing wrong with it.

- Yes, I already found his address. We have everything we need. The customers will receive it within 24 hours. My guys want to watch. - The man laughed. - It's okay, he won't even understand.

I didn't want to listen to this conversation anymore. Having climbed to the third floor, I ran into the room, holding back my anxiety. I heard footsteps and was afraid that my father had noticed me.

- What happened Isa? - It was my sister's voice.

Isara: Nothing... Go to bed, you have school tomorrow.

Sawika: I thought you would read with me. Mom said she had a headache. - Sawika was only 6 years old then. It was from that time that our relationship began to change.

I kept quiet and didn't tell her about anything. I didn't want the image of good parents to fade before her eyes. I wasn't even sure if Mom knew about it.

Unfortunately, even after all these years, I still don't know if she knew the truth. She died two years after Fai was born. The situation was getting worse. I didn't believe the reason my father gave. Sawika said that I was paranoid and needed time to accept the loss. Even as a child, she had a strong will.

When I turned 17, my father took me to the office for the first time. This “office” was very different from the usual place of work of ordinary people. That day, he brought me and my cousin to a meeting to discuss a very serious topic. However, among those present, I was the only one who felt fear. Although this does not seem surprising now. My father loved his nephew since childhood. Tharit was 4 years younger than me, but this did not stop him from putting himself on an equal footing with me. He was cunning and very smart. Unlike me, he did not shy away from this matter, but on the contrary, sought to become a part of it. This is the day when I realized that my usual life would no longer be available to me. I thought that I had no choice, I was afraid that this could affect my sisters. Unfortunately, a couple of years later this really became known. That I work for my father not as a secretary or another assistant. Sawika clearly saw how I was trying to hide the truth from her. One day I had to tell her how it was.

Isara: It was an accident.

Sawika: Do you take me for a fool? - She stood before me as a teenager. - I saw that. Tell me the truth!

Isara: What truth do you want to hear from me? - I started to scream. - What truth? I don't know what to tell you.

Sawika: Our dad is not a simple businessman? You knew about it all this time?

Isara: Please don't ask me questions you don't want to know the answer to.

From then on, she started leaving home often. The older she got, the harder it was for me to understand what was on her mind. She did everything to get as far away from me as possible. She didn't listen, didn't perceive anyone or anything.

The only thing that kept her was Fai. The way our priorities changed so much could kill any relationship. Our family became a stigma for her. Our last name was a constant reminder of the real state of things.

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- Today I have gathered you.. - The old man's hoarse voice reminded me of the place where I was. I turned around and saw the same faces around me. My father, whose face was alien to me, and my cousin, whose grin I desperately wanted to get rid of. - I can no longer hold my post. This is the time when changes are needed. Now more than ever I need your support. - I see how Tharit smiles at his words, expecting to hear what he wants. - You are my closest people. I have passed on to you the knowledge that plays a big role in our world. This information can save your life or kill you. - He held a flash drive in his hands. - Here is all the information about the clients of "Infinity life", all the accounts, all the orders. Full reports. - His hand fell on the table. - I am already very old, but my head is still clear. - My father smiled, turning to me.

Perhaps for the first time in a long time, I could see in his eyes that same sincerity and love that I vaguely remembered from childhood. It confused me. I didn’t know what to expect or what to prepare for.

- I have made a decision. - He slowly rose from his chair. - This matter will go to the person I trust. Only the one I can be sure of. - Slowly, the old man comes up to me and puts his hand on my shoulder. I feel an inexplicable fear. - My eldest daughter, Isara Sangwit. You become the full-fledged leader of "Infinity life". This means that you now control the lives of these people. - He hands me a flash drive and I feel my eyes fill with tears. Three days after his decision, I turned 25. I cursed everything that happened in my life.

If I were asked if I would have acted differently, most likely my answer would be no. Why? Because the fear that was inside me did not allow me to act differently. I wanted to protect my loved ones, I wanted to have everything under my control. I wanted to know about the day my mother died. It was important for me to find the smallest details. But why, now that I know about everything, can’t I sleep at night?

I went to the mirror to wash my face. Dark circles and pale skin. I see this picture every day. Today I have to do what I do best. Look for the culprits. Yesterday Fai came home scared and injured. She cried, refusing to talk about what happened. An hour later, after she had calmed down a little, the doctor was able to examine her. He said that there was no serious damage, but the bruises would take a long time to heal.

He also treated the wound on her back, it was not deep, but there was a possibility that she could have been attacked from behind. This means that she either miraculously avoided serious injury, or ... The person was not trying to kill her, but only hurt her. Over the years of working in this field, I have learned to notice certain details. Such cases often occurred when intimidating, to prove the seriousness of intentions. On the other hand, who do you have to be to decide to do this to our family? The most important question is, what was the purpose of this attempt? To distract attention?

The cold water touched my face. I felt goosebumps running across my skin. It was a reminder that I was still an ordinary person. An ordinary person who had a life and a family. After washing and changing, I left the room. It was very quiet, I looked at the clock. Completely forgetting that Marta was leaving this morning, I cursed under my breath and went downstairs. Perhaps it was completely uncharacteristic of me to forget about time and want to see a person. Why did I care?

I sent Martha home because I didn't want her to be involved in anything. I didn't know the intentions of the attackers, maybe the house wasn't safe. This girl was completely different, she didn't know this kind of life. It was better to keep her away from everything that was happening here. Even now, I felt angry at how unreasonable Father had been behind my back. Although it only confirmed that he didn't care about the lives of people not involved in our case. If something happened to this young girl, if she became a victim of an incident, he would simply remove all traces and hire a new worker. That was probably where we were different. I would do anything to protect the innocent. I would want to protect her.

The bright sun hit my eyes and I heard familiar voices.

Sawika: I'll be so lonely without you. You know, I have no one to talk to. I hope you'll have a good time. - My sister smiled and even laughed sincerely. I haven't seen that for a long time either. I should be pleased to see her like this, but for some reason, I don't feel joy.

Marta: Of course. Don't worry, Lady Sawika. I'll gladly lend you my company as soon as I return. - The ease with which Marta spoke to her irritated me. She was never relaxed around me. Even that night when she fell asleep in my room, I could feel how tense she was. Every movement I made made her flinch. Was it only because she was under my command? Then yesterday, it was truly a gesture of gratitude.

Sawika: Great. I'll think of a new activity for us. Have you ever tried clay? It's very relaxing, although you need to get used to the sensations. You can start with something simple.

Marta: Aren't you afraid of getting your clothes dirty? It would be a shame if there were stains on your white shirt. - She touched, adjusting the clothes, Sawika was pleased. After all, this is what she wanted. She wanted the girl to feel comfortable around her.

“When did they manage to get so close..? How could this happen and why so quickly?”

I went out to them, interrupting the conversation. The whole atmosphere that had been there before evaporated just like their happy faces. Seeing me, Sawika's face changed. Marta became the same as before.

Isara: Am I disturbing you? - My face could hardly be called welcomingly friendly.

Sawika: No. I was just about to go back. - She turned quickly. - See you soon, Marta.

Marta: Goodbye, Lady Sawika.

She left, leaving us alone. I saw the excitement in the girl's eyes. Maybe she didn't expect me to come. In any case, I'm already here. The driver was already ready and was waiting only for her. I gave him a sign that he could go out for a couple of minutes.

Isara: Text me when you get home.

Marta: Excuse me? What do you mean, write a message?

Isara: You have my phone number. You don't have to call, but you can text me.

Marta: Oh.. Okay. Then I'll text you when I get there. - She's surprised, but pleased. I hope I'm right.

There was a heavy silence between us. I wanted to say something more. To stay with her a little longer before she left. I was used to seeing her face every day and hearing her voice every morning.

Isara: Did you sleep well last night?

Marta: Yes. I sleep well. I have no problems with that.

Isara: It's true. Last time I woke up at night, you didn't even move. - I said the first thing that came to mind. Her expression froze, somewhere between embarrassment and indignation at the same time.

Marta: Sorry, I fell asleep then.. I thought you didn't notice.

Isara: You left without saying goodbye. Don't do that again. - That's not all I wanted to say. - This isn't the first time you've run away.

Marta: Then.. I won't do it anymore. If you don't like it.

When I see her eyes, it becomes hard for me to understand myself. This girl is completely different.