Home is a place where you feel safe. You know that there are loved ones here who will always take care of you. Even in the hardest times, when every day begins with an early rise and ends with a headache and worry. You look back and, exhaling tiredly, find peace again. At such moments, even a clear sky can lift your spirits. The cool wind gradually brings back the feeling of life in you, but doubts still do not go away. They gradually eat you up from the inside, leaving only an illusion of confidence.

I sit at our slightly battered dining room table, sorting through the bills. It's both alarming and sobering, reminding me of the situation my family finds itself in. Even with all the difficulties we've already overcome, life throws up even more obstacles. So it turns out that my mother, with no chance of a quiet life, is forced to contend with even greater challenges along the way.

She started getting sick 3 years ago, taking us all by surprise, we just had to accept it. However, since then her condition has only gotten worse and our funds are no longer enough for constant treatment. My stepfather disappears to work for days to provide for us. He repairs old things and you can say it is quite hard work, but such a business does not bring in much profit.

- Marta, are you okay? - This polite 12-year-old boy is my brother. He always helps around the house and when he sees me in a sad state, he immediately comes to find out the reason. Although sometimes I am not able to answer him honestly. - You have hardly eaten today. Maybe you should rest?

Marta: I know, Krit. Sorry, I stayed up too long. - My eyes were red and I knew I could see the dark circles under them.

Krit: What have you been doing? - It was clear from his voice that he was worried.

All I can do these past few months is look for a job. The truth is that I haven't received any good news yet. This only makes me more upset and makes me think. Am I doing everything right?

Marta: I looked at the ads. Maybe they can take me on part-time. I can't leave you alone, and besides... Mom hasn't gotten out of bed lately.

Krit: It's time to rest. You shouldn't worry so much. You said yourself that all problems are temporary. I think she'll feel better very soon. - He smiles at me, so sincerely that it hurts. I still don't know if he believes these words or is pretending. Krit never said what would happen if we couldn't cope. Maybe that's my problem, with each passing day my hope only fades faster.

I tend to grab onto the smallest details when I need something to relax me and give me hope. It's become harder to notice these days.

Marta: You're right, anyway, I think I just need to sleep. - I try to smile back, but instead I feel pain once again. But now this pain touches my temples and leaves a mark in the form of eyes filling with tears.

When I finally manage to reach my bed, I fall. I try to push away the oppressive thoughts, but when I close my eyes, I see the image again. This disturbing picture that haunts me day after day. The endless and terribly exciting ocean right in front of me. I stand on the shore watching the wave approaching me. I need to run, but instead, a dubious desire grows in my chest. I want this wild stream of salty and cold water to cover me with my head. I feel bitterness again.

My fleeting dream is interrupted by a sudden notification on my phone. At first I thought it was another ad, but to my surprise it wasn't. An email from an unknown person had arrived in my inbox. I open it and see.

- "Hello, we haven't met yet, but I know that you and your family are in a difficult situation. You can call me Niwat, I have the opportunity to offer you an unusual job. If you are interested, we can set up a meeting and discuss the details."

Any person could be confused by such a letter. Especially if there are no prerequisites for this. It seems that nothing good should be expected, but do I have a choice in this situation? Go to a meeting with a stranger without having a clue what the conversation will be about or continue to sit for days in front of the screen waiting for someone to answer my request. With these thoughts, I put the phone on the nightstand and went to bed.

In the morning I decided that it would be better not to tell my family about this letter. Each of us has our own affairs and worries. I would not like to increase the worries. In any case, I am not a child and due to my age it is time to start making decisions myself. It took me some time, but soon I answered this man's message and asked to set up a meeting not far from our street. He responded positively and indicated the time.

—

Home is a place where you feel safe. Anyone could think so, but not me. Home is a prison of four walls, where you are afraid of every rustle. You think that you will become a target. Even despite all the security, cameras and fences, there is always danger, even sitting with a gun in your hands. I can think that nothing in this life will surprise me anymore, but you never know what will hit your consciousness next. The more often I think about how my life can end, the more I want to end it. But pride does not allow me to decide on this. Maybe it is not time yet, or maybe I am used to following orders without having my own opinion.

Now I'm sitting in an expensive leather chair, but I'm twirling the cheapest lighter in my hands. Still not daring to light up indoors, I put it back on the table. I know the smell of cigars will only make me more disgusted.

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- Niwat, you must supervise this operation. Check everyone. Find as much information as possible. - My father's hoarse voice catches my attention again. He has aged greatly and this should be distressing, but I do not feel any anxiety about it. This is natural and each of us will find ourselves in his place.

Niwat: - Of course, Sir. - The young man who had been listening attentively to his speech until now dared to be distracted. My cold gaze, the same one, the gaze of the eldest daughter of the Sangwit family, which thousands feared, but for him it was nothing more than a signal that it was time to go.

“When will these headaches ever end? I can’t stand these sleepless nights anymore.”

- I closed my eyes trying to block out the voices of those around me.

When the old man finished, I was finally able to leave this stuffy, windowless room.

Niwat: Lady Isara. Are you unwell? - He is worried and seems not to believe my words no matter how hard I try to hide my painful feelings.

Isara: Stop talking to me like that and maybe I'll answer you. - Despite how much he irritated me at times, he was still the only person I saw as a friend.

Niwat: I understand your frustration, but these are the rules of this house, Isa. You know what happens when they are not followed.

Isara: Still, you did as I asked. - I smirk slightly.

Niwat: Your anger is more terrible than anything in this world. - Suddenly, the sound of a notification on his phone interrupts our conversation. It's for the best.

Isara: I think it's time for you to go. - I'm already turning towards the stairs, but he stops me.

Niwat: Look, I know you didn't want us to interfere in your life, but this is your father's order. He thinks it will be easier for you.

I don’t understand what he’s talking about, but his words don’t evoke anything positive in me.

Isara: If you don't want to make me angry, I advise you to stop. I don't want to hear about his new ideas.

Nivat: In that case, you should get dressed and see for yourself. - He was serious. - It is already ready for our new guest. Her bedroom will be opposite your study.

Isara: Guest? - I felt sick saying the word, but I knew it meant something completely different. - Who did you hire this time?

This question remains in the air, slowly fading into the echo of my consciousness. When I go down to the second floor and nevertheless enter my study room, a flash suddenly covers me. Noise in my ears and a veil before my eyes. I try to catch my breath, but instead only get angrier.

Like a raging fire. I am overcome by desires in which I destroy everything in this room. These feelings have long haunted my dreams, in which I walk along a burning path straight to the abyss. And I have to choose whether I will become a victim or choose to make another person a victim. My work is killing everything that is dear to me, but I can’t just run away. I will never have a real choice, and I will never be able to make a truly important decision for myself.

Isara: Damn it! - I can't take it anymore and the lamp falls to the floor with a crash.

In just a few minutes the house manager will come running here and with frozen fear in his eyes he will ask me the expected question. But as always there will be no answer. I will just silently take the pill and throw him out.

—

Sometimes, we stumble upon a miracle. Without expecting it, we look for a catch where there is none. We think for a long time and even waste time. Instead of simply accepting. Accepting what we are allowed.

I came to the appointed place, sat down on a bench and began to wait for the man. From time to time I was thrown into the cold and I thought about leaving. When I was about to get up, a voice called out to me. I turned around and saw a well-dressed young businessman. Although life experience tells me that as a rule, you shouldn't trust your eyes. Still, he didn't make me feel uncomfortable.

Marta: Khun Niwat? - My voice sounded quieter than I expected.

Niwat: I am very glad that you accepted my offer to meet, Marta. Please, let's take a short walk.

I agree and the man begins his speech.

Niwat: So, let's start with the fact that this job is not temporary. - He deliberately emphasized these words. - You will have to leave your home and move to the residence. I know about your problems regarding your mother, so I want to tell you right away. Your salary is more than enough to cover the costs of not only treatment, but also the service personnel. Accordingly, you will not have to worry anymore.

He stops, most likely it became clear to him that I was confused.

Marta: Sorry, but I don't quite understand. What kind of work will I have to do? - After my question, his expression changed dramatically.

Niwat: Oh, no. I'm afraid you misunderstood me. The thing is, your job is... - He had to think about his words before he answered. - We are looking for someone who can look after Lady Isara Sangwit.

Hearing the name, I start remembering. I have heard of her, her name has often been in the news. However, I don't have much of an idea of what kind of person she is.

Niwat: This task is not as easy as it seems. She has an extremely difficult character and does not allow even her family to come near her. However, her father hires you, and he is the head of the house. She cannot go against his words.

Marta: You said she needs to be looked after..? Why? Isn't that.. weird?

His gaze becomes more serious. He looks at me, trying to understand something. After a moment, the man answers.

Niwat: Lady Isara devotes almost all her time to work. Previously, she was more often in the office, but now, she prefers to be in her room. We are worried about this. Because work has a negative impact on her health. She often has headaches, insomnia, and recently, I began to notice deterioration. - The man handed me a file with documents. - We want to find a person who can change her approach to life. - He smiles again. - Tell me, you don’t really know anything about the Sangwit family, do you?

Marta: No, unfortunately. - I'm answering honestly.

Niwat: Then you have nothing to worry about. Our affairs will not touch you in any way. You will be provided with security if necessary. The residence is under 24-hour surveillance. No one will be able to enter your room except Lady Isara. The only thing we will require is to sign a contract. The shortest period is 1 year.

Marta: What, excuse me? A year? - I was surprised and my voice broke for a moment.

Niwat: That's right. You sign a contract for a year and we pay you the amount monthly.

Marta: I don't understand, what amount are you talking about?

Niwat: 50 thousand dollars. If it is more convenient for you, we can immediately convert it into baht.

There was shock on my face and he could see it perfectly. For a second I thought he was joking.

Marta: Khun Niwat, please tell me... How did you find out about me and my family? - The moment I asked the question, I felt uneasy. Now knowing the situation, it seemed that without a satisfactory answer, they would not let me go home.

Niwat: For me, "information" is a very useful tool, but it is not something you should worry about. Please do not jump to conclusions. I am only doing my part and now I want to hear your answer. - He continued to smile at me, but now I could not tell if this smile was real.

I carefully took the documents and he immediately handed me a pen. I can't know for sure, is this a miracle or a coming curse for my family?