Fourth Report: A Desperate Fight Against A Horny Wolf

April 26, 2014 on Earth. Puck 27, 7693 on Jadrian

Yong here!

I'm not GAY!

Seriously? What kind of report were you reading to reach that conclusion?

I'm worried about your virgin mind, Dmitri, spending all your time with your fucking fire is damaging your eyes.

Anyway, I had been lost in the Elf King's forest for the last three weeks.

Why did I end up in a situation where I'm sleeping in a tree like a ninja?

No, I'm not doing it to look like a bad-ass Asian in front of a bunch of wolves.

Well, all began since the day we had dropped the slaves in a nearby demon city, there was an old lady who contracted them as her maids and was very stubborn about contracting Frodous too.

How did the demon race treated a human as myself, ask Frodous and the rejection letters he had to write from all the possible buyers of his slave.

I was treated like the fucking dog of an elf!

But it didn't bother me as much as it should, I knew what the human kingdom has done after all and my situation was good, for now at least.

The problem was that if we wanted to go to the eastern continent, where the supposed pretty girl was, the only way to reach it was to go through the Elf King's forest, AGAIN.

Why did I end up lost then?

Well, let me tell you the reason.

A horny wolf had been stalking us from the moment we entered into the forest and we lost the view of the path leading to the border of the elven kingdom.

Frodous didn't help that much too, the bastard had been hoping that my slanted eyes worked like a fucking GPS.

-What the hell are you talking about Frodous? Those are the sacred eyes inherited by my people for generations. You damn slut. What do you think a GPS is?

-You said a GPS was something that could see your location from the sky, so I thought that you were keeping them shut to see from the sky!

-How the hell did you reach that conclusion? Is your brain screwed or what?

I, of course, kicked his ass. How can be the people of this world be so racists?

I thought that the elves knew how to find their way in the forest, but the fucking elf beside me didn't even know how to hunt a rabbit, much less tracking a trail towards a city.

Our situation seemed hopeless, the nights were cold and our only food was some charred squirrels that were stupids enough to get near Frodous for me to kill them.

I had forgotten to mention it!

I had sold our caravan, which was too smelly for me, and I had received some fire stones in exchange for it.

The fire stones were very useful to create fire and enchant some weapons with a specific magic, which neither of us knew what made them useless in the middle of a forest.

That way, two weeks passed as we continued looking for a path out of this damn forest. We had many problems like some big ass spiders kidnapping Frodous or a goblin who thought it was a good idea to joke about my height and died slowly while Frodous hid behind me.

One morning, finally, we found a trail of dried blood leading to the corpse of what seemed to be a swordsman.

But that wasn't what caught my interest, no, it was the shinning sword embedded in his chest that was releasing a sound like heaven.

I stood there, mesmerized by the sight of such majestic sword until I could stop my drooling after imaging the development of my situation.

It was the moment where I found a sacred sword and I return with my former allies to save them and get the healer girl to fall in love with me!

I walked towards the sword and when I pulled it out of the swordsman's chest, I could feel how the power was being transmitted into my body.

It was the best feeling I had felt in my life, I felt like I could destroy all in my way. Blood, I wanted to kill, to feel the blood soaking my entire body. It was the power to destroy the elven race.

How would I enjoy killing every one of them! AHAHAHAHAHA

Smack!

I could feel my face being slapped and I could see in the corner of my eyes a little elf crying.

It was Frodous.

Then it hit me, this sword wasn't the one that the hero would get. Why would it be embedded in a swordsman's chest, if it were a sacred sword to begin with? No, it was the cursed sword that the side character would get in order to fulfill his revenge.

“It's a cursed sword, drop it please! Yong” Frodous said as he was hugging me with tears all over his face.

I could only curse my fate. Did it happen to me because I was hated so much? Or was it the God doing? Was it because I was a bad-ass Asian? I didn't know anymore.

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My hopes were shattered a long time ago anyway, and I didn't need this sword if I wanted revenge I could do it with my own hands if I wanted. So I throw the sword with all the force I could muster.

I could feel Froudous' hug lessening his strength. He seemed relieved as he was saying his thanks to the GREEN spirit.

For some reason, I felt like a great burden had disappeared from my shoulders. Then, it hit me, I was crying, something I hadn't done since the moment I was saved by Master.

But fate wouldn't allow me a single moment to breathe as a god damned two meters black wolf was released from the cursed sword.

Well, a better way to explain it would be to say that it came out from the purple smoke release from the sword.

It was the horny wolf that had been stalking us from the moment we entered the forest. This wolf was the one who had led us to be lost in the first place.

And it was looking at us with eyes filled with lust as it was drooling and licking its snout.

For God's sake, I had seen it raping a rank A wild boar, the king of this forest, the other day while we were eating in a branch of a tree.

“You have rejected my gift to you, dhyuteur boy. Now, you will die for your insolence. Floppe, rape him!”.

What the hell was a dhyuteur? I seriously need to ask Frodous about this particular word. Wait, did it say, “rape him”?

Shit!

I didn't have time to think as the wolf leaped over us and tried to bite Frodous' neck, which didn't work as I had created an earthen wall between the two of us.

I immediately ordered Frodous to take the rear and be ready to heal me in any moment I was in a dire predicament.

The wolf tried to snatch my backpack with his paws, perhaps it has felt my “educative books” and wanted to take a look at it. But I sidestepped to the right and kicked the wolf's crotch, making the horny wolf groan in pleasure.

Fucking masochist!

The wolf took his time to enjoy the sensation, and then, it looked at me with pleading at me for more while it was drooling even more.

I wasn't planning to play along with it, so I sprinted towards him and tried to stab him with an earthen spike in his belly, which he dodged rather easily.

The wolf seemed disappointed as it ran pass me as its pawns scratched my left leg, and continued straight to Frodous.

The fucking wolf was in over Frodous, trying to snatch his pants to rape him.

I could see Frodous crying and then I lost it.

I couldn't endure seeing that kind of scene anymore, not rape. So I let my instincts dominate me.

I ran towards the horny wolf and kicked him in the balls, he screamed in pleasure as I continued to kick him. Seeing that it wasn't working, I took an earthen spike and pierced the wolf's right front leg with it.

This time, the wolf looked pissed as it tried to bite only to be met by my fist straight in its jaw. It tried to struggle against my mad attacks, but it was useless, I wouldn't allow it to do anything more.

My grin only grew larger as I took its balls and pulled them as fast as I could, ripping them out.

The wolf cried in pleasure, before I took the cursed sword. I pierced his heart with the sword, which shattered in hundreds of screams and purple mist after some seconds.

I looked to Frodous direction, he was fine, except for the fact that he was touching his crotch and saying something like “the balls, the balls”.

Yes, I already could hear it, the laughs of Master and the others.

My new nickname would be something like “crotch crusher” or “the one who bites off a mouthful”.

And the worst was when more wolves came out of the forest with pleading eyes, which lead us to our current predicament.

The wolves didn't want to give up at it, and we were running out of food.

-The unlucky Asian, Kang Yong-Suk

Responses (1)

1.-

Sorry, the other guys are on a mission, in which they have to kill some big pigs from Jamaica.

I don't know the details, but I was left out because of my stomachache and my diarrhea.

Did you know that a curse can be lifted from a sword using soul transmutation? It could have been useful, I think.

-Javier