The sound sent Chad bolting outside. "Squawk! Annie!"

"Right!" The pair chorused. Squawkers sped toward the door alongside Chad -- avoiding a lunge from an opportunistic cat along the way -- while Annie darted to the table to retrieve a rifle.

Chad threw the door open, already braced for combat. There, just past the porch steps, he spotted the source of the sound. Nick ran in circles screaming his lungs out. Atop his head sat a rather pissed-off-looking squirrel.

"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF SOMEONE HELP MEEEEEE--" Nick continued to shout, swatting at the small furry form frantically. It squeaked angrily, its tiny claws gripping at his greasy brown mop of hair for dear life.

A few others appeared in the doorway behind Chad as he relaxed, lowering his fist. Striding forward, he grabbed the small animal and plucked it off of Nick's head with a quick motion.

"Haaa... Haaa..." The Buffet Line Cook doubled over, his breathing heavy. "T-thanks... I... i-it attacked me..."

"Uh-huh." Chad nodded and looked at the squirrel. It wiggled and squeaked in agitation as it struggled in his grip. A tag indicated that it was only level one. "Well, he seems kinda harmless to me."

"It's not! It's a menace!"

Chad just shrugged. "Sure, sure."

"Should we kill it?" Squawkers asked. "Free experience."

"Squawk! That's cruel!" Chad gasped.

"You're right. It won't even give that much, anyway." The parrot mused. "Though maybe we can use it to level the others..."

"And how d'you suppose we do that?" Annie called from the porch, leaning her elbows on the railing. "Execute it with a firing squad?"

"I mean, we do need to figure out how many people can get experience from a single kill..." Squawkers trailed off as his gaze turned toward something in the distance. "Uh, Chad?"

"Yeah?" His gaze followed the direction of the grey wing as it pointed toward the treeline. "What is it?"

"There's something in there. Don't you see how the trees are moving?"

"Uh, not really?"

"I swear, you humans and your eyesight..." The parrot muttered.

Chad rubbed his eyes and squinted a bit harder. Even then, it took a few moments for him to realize what he was seeing.

Uh-oh.

A herd of wild pigs burst out of the trees, snorting and snarling. Their hooves beat against the earth, trampling the grass flat as they charged toward the house.

"Incoming!" Chad shouted. "Get ready!"

"Pigs. It's a herd of pigs!" Squawkers clarified. "And they look grumpy!"

At the declaration, Nick hightailed it back inside along with about half the group. Rather than retreat though, Tom stepped forward with his pistol in hand. A few others from the group also stepped toward the porch, drawing their own sidearms in preparation. Their faces were tense.

"Damn animals are getting way too agressive..." Tom cursed.

"What levels are we talking, Squawk?" Chad asked as he glanced around the porch for anything to throw.

"Two to four, a couple of sixes. Not too bad, but there's a lot. Maybe..." Squawkers's beady eyes narrowed. "Thirty? I think?"

"Got it." Aside from a flowerpot containing Gram Gram's favorite marigolds, there was nothing to throw. Nor did he particularly feel like using any of her dishes or tchotchkes as ammunition.

Blinking, Chad looked again at his hand. The squirrel still struggled within his grip.

...Damn. Sorry, buddy. I don't have a lot of options though.

He felt a little bad about what he was about to do. But the rodent had attacked Nick. So maybe it was for the better.

Winding up, Chad pulled back his arm. His muscles tightened and flexed. Then, he threw the squirrel.

The furry creature's panicked squeaking disappeared into the distance as it soared, leaving behind a trail of cartoonishly dislodged hair in its wake. It didn't move nearly as fast as some of the other things he'd thrown, likely on account of it being a squirrel rather than anything remotely aerodynamic. Still, that was just fine for now.

The author's content has been appropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

As he released the rodent, he activated Curveball. Immediately, he felt his awareness expand to encompass the projectile. It felt as though it were a natural extension of himself that he could move at will.

Woah. That's neat.

With a thought, he sent the rodent curving and looping through the air at incredible speeds. He could even turn it backward completely in a U-turn maneuver. It couldn't make the sharpest turns, but that was ok. It was still cool as hell.

Chad felt the squirrel begin to slow. As it did, he stopped messing around and directed the projectile toward the line of incoming wild pigs. It crashed into the first one, knocking the pig to the side but not damaging it further. Evidently, the squirrel didn't have quite enough speed for that. It did have enough speed to splatter across the hog's face though.

You have defeated a Squirrel (Lvl 1)! +1 Exp.

"Er... Chad?" Squawkers asked.

"Yeah?" He rotated his arm. The throw had been moderately hard, yet Chad only felt the slightest of twinges in his shoulder afterward. Maybe Annie is onto something, here.

"That was kinda fucked up."

Chad sucked in a breath through his teeth. "Yeah. It was, wasn't it?"

"Here." Richard reached toward the Arm Wrestler. In his hand, a hammer appeared out of thin air. "If you needed something to throw, you could've asked."

With a sheepish grin, Chad accepted the tool. "Thanks."

The herd of pigs drew nearer, the sound of their hooves against the ground echoing across the plains. The group braced and aimed their weapons.

"Here we go!" Annie called as she racked a round. "Take down what you can!"

With that, she opened fire.

The sharp crack of gunshots echoed across the field. Annie was the first to start shooting, taking down pig after pig in controlled bursts. After her, the others began firing in waves as the pigs entered a range they were comfortable with.

"Annie, lower! Richard, more left!"

"Got it!" They made the adjustments and were rewarded with a round of angry squeals. Red sprays burst from shoulders and faces as the hogs went down.

Damn. I guess we're leveling everyone sooner than we thought.

Still, as many people as they had firing, there were a lot of pigs and not that much time to take them down. It didn't help that most of the group were using pistols, either, as opposed to Annie's heavier weaponry. Still, they managed to take down twenty hogs fairly quickly. Only ten or so remained. But they were getting far too close for Chad's liking.

Already used Curveball... guess I'll have to go old school.

Chad stepped forward, putting a hand on Annie's shoulder. "I'll get the rest." His voice called out, "Don't shoot me, alright?"

"Chad--"

But he was already running forward, whipping the hammer toward the nearest pig. The projectile caved through its skull as though it were made of cardboard, taking down the two hogs behind as well.

You have defeated a Feral Pig (Lvl 4)! +6 Exp.

You have defeated a Feral Pig (Lvl 2)! +1 Exp.

You have defeated a Feral Pig (Lvl 2)! +1 Exp.

The remaining seven continued to charge forward, their beady eyes aflame with rage and malice. Chad continued running forward to meet them, grabbing a small tree nearby as he did. It tore from the ground easily.

Sorry, Gram Gram.

He swiped the tree out in a wide arc as though slashing with a sword. The wood smashed into the pigs, pulverizing three more. The wood groaned and snapped with the force of the blow, breaking itself in two. Chad took the broken piece still in his hand and hurled it at another hog in an explosion of red mist.

The final three pigs squealed in rage. They were mere feet in front of Chad now, charging with renewed vigor. He stepped forward to meet them with his fist.

As the first one exploded in a shower of gore, Chad realized that these pigs weren't quite as dumb as he'd expected. He'd thought that the things would continue charging straight at him fearlessly in an attempt to tackle or bite him to pieces. However, they didn't do that. Instead, the last two curved around and dodged him, heading straight toward the house.

"Oh no you don't," he growled. "You're not going anywhere."

With a thought, he activated Ultra Instinct. Electricity coursed through his arm, setting it alight with power. The familiar sensation of peerless strength filled him, but that wasn't all. Now, it was accompanied by a second rush, one of concentrated speed. It felt like quicksilver flowing through the limb. It wasn't unpleasant, just different. He suspected that it was a result of the dexterity buff.

The pig to his right froze in place for split second as the stun part of the skill took effect. Without hesitation, Chad whipped his arm around in a vicious backhand to dispatch it. One more.

He turned around. The final pig had darted straight past him, likely hoping to outrun him and get at the squishier targets.

"Get back here, fucker!" Chad yelled. As he shouted, he activated Duelist.

The pig screeched to a halt, its head whipping around. It glared at Chad and let out a guttural roar as it turned back toward him, compelled by the taunt. Chad felt his arm's power further swell from the skill's effects as he faced this singular foe. But as it came within range, Chad picked up the half-exploded remains of another pig and swung them at the charging animal.

In hindsight, it might not have been the best idea. It certainly would have been cleaner and easier to just punch the thing. Unfortunately, Chad didn't think that far. The resulting mess looked somewhat like someone had slammed two bags of open flour against each other. Red flour.

The pig's remains fell to the ground in a twitching heap. Then, everything went silent.

You have defeated a Feral Pig (Lvl 4)! +6 Exp.

Chad took a few breaths as he surveyed the scene. A line of dead pigs stretched out before him, followed by a few splatters of what no longer resembled dead pigs at his feet. The splintered remains of the tree he'd used as a weapon lay shattered across the trampled grass and gravel. As he looked back, he saw Annie and the others standing at the patio railing, their eyes wide with disbelief. Chad could also see a few faces through the windows with similar expressions.

"Dinner's ready!" Gram Gram called from inside and broke the silence. "Chad, you get everyone to put the guns away and come eat, alright?"

Chad flicked the blood off his hand and arm. "So... who's hungry?"