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Armageddon [LitRPG Apocalypse]
Chapter 11: Punch Your Problems Away

Chapter 11: Punch Your Problems Away

As Chad emerged from the makeshift barricade, he darted quickly toward one of the side alleys. Though the coast was clear right now, the last thing he wanted was to get hit in the back by a stray shot from the defenders. Luckily, there was a path between buildings not too far down the main thoroughfare.

His head whipped up as jets streaked overhead once more. The massive planes roared as they headed toward the epicenter of this mess. In the far distance, the crack of gunfire and explosions echoed through the city. The noises were far away, but not that far. Occasional rumblings still shook the ground beneath his feet. Evidently, the effort to push back the tide of monsters hadn't finished yet.

They ventured further in, managing to hurry with as much caution as they could manage. There was no telling how much more dangerous things would be here. Chad left his other firearms across his back but drew his pistol just in case. It wasn't ideal to fire with his left hand, but the other had better things to do. Like punching monsters. Or slapping them. Or chokeslamming them.

Squawkers settled on his shoulder, head darting about nervously as they emerged from the alley onto a broader street. "You're really sure about this, huh?"

"About what?"

"About getting closer to that… thing." A grey wing gestured to the ominous hole in reality hanging above the city.

"It's not so bad. We've handled ourselves pretty well so far, right?" Chad grinned as he jogged. "Plus, how else are we gonna level you up?"

"Level me up?" The bird scoffed. "I'm already the standout star of this team. On your left!"

Chad whirled to face the incoming threat, tensing. He followed the parrot's gaze toward a slight furrow in the ground that he hadn't noticed before. It advanced slowly toward their position before stopping.

A small purplish head emerged from the asphalt, followed by a lobster-like body with far too many claws. It skittered out of a newly made hole on pointed feet. Despite the thing's appearance, Chad relaxed slightly. The thing was no bigger than a lemon.

Lobhobber Swarm (Lvl 3)

The Lobhobber screeched in a high pitched keening tone, claws snapping angrily as it scuttled forward like a chitinous chihuahua. Once it was only a few feet away, it sprang into the air like a grasshopper, leaping toward Chad's chest. He pulled out his ax and stepped forward, slashing it out of the air. The two halves of the monster fell to the street below, twitching and writhing for a few moments before falling still.

Ok, that was pretty satisfying. Maybe I didn't give the ax enough of a chance.

He looked back at the bird on his shoulder. "Thanks for the callout. You're really getting into this lookout thing, aren't you?"

"Hey, if it works it works!" Squawkers shrugged. "Better than getting my talons dirty. Though I didn't get any experience that time, for some reason."

Chad frowned. "Huh. Neither did I. Weird…"

The parrot's head tilted to the side. "Really? I figured you would, since you killed it. Unless…"

Before he could finish, the ground began to rumble around Chad's feet. More and more tiny furrows spiderwebbed across the asphalt as additional purplish Lobhobber heads emerged from below.

Squawkers screeched in panic. Chad swore, stepping back and hurriedly pulling his shotgun from his back. "Dangit, Squawkers! Aren't you the lookout?"

"Don't blame me, they were hiding! It's no fair!"

A cacophony of keening screeches and skittering feet filled the air as the swarm began to launch themselves forward. A veritable cloud of springing lobsters filled Chad's vision as he braced the shotgun against his shoulder and fired. The blast sent a burst of chitinous confetti into the air.. Backing up, Chad fired again and again as the things kept coming.

You have displayed rudimentary knowledge of how to use boom-sticks to keep rattlesnakes and people off your property. Firearms (E) proficiency earned!

Chad didn't have time to wonder at the oddly specific wording of the notification. As he ran out of ammo, he released the gun and slashed wildly with his ax as Squawkers took to the skies. "Behind you!"

Just as the words registered, Chad felt a sudden soft thump impact the back of his leather jacket. A moment later, it was followed by a sharp pinching sensation.

"Ow!"

He winced, reaching back to swat at the thing with his left hand. It, too, got pinched. Only without a jacket for cushioning, this one felt much worse.

"OW DAMMIT!"

The momentary distraction gave more Lobhobbers an opening to attack. They leaped up toward Chad's legs and chest, latching on painfully with their sharp pincers. With another string of curses, he abandoned the ax entirely to swat at himself.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

"They're still coming!" A call came from above. "Go to your left! There's less there!"

Trusting the bird, Chad darted to the side and through the cloud of monsters. His arms came up to protect his head as he ran through the swarm. The pain elicited a steady string of curses from his lips as more and more of the things crawled over him. But a moment later, he burst out of the encirclement.

Chad slapped at himself frantically, squishing the pests into splatters of purple and blue. His back in particular was on fire as the things tore through his jacket to reach the tender flesh below. Unfortunately, his efforts to reach them reminded Chad of one of his greatest weaknesses - flexibility.

Before all of this, his right arm could barely reach behind his neck. But now, with all of its sudden growth? Scratching his back or extending the thing fully was nothing but a pipe dream. A deficiency that the Lobhobbers took full advantage of.

He swatted futilely with his left, trying to dislodge the things as much as possible as he called up to Squawkers. "A little help here?!"

"Again? You want me to dive into that?!" The parrot shrieked indignantly as he dodged a particularly ambitious Lobhobber. But despite his protests and a brief moment of hesitation, the bird swooped down to land on Chad's shoulder once more. He faced backward and began biting downward at the offending swarm. "Take that! And that! Yeah, and that too you little–"

Chad ignored the bird, focusing on ridding himself of more hangers-on as he spared a glance behind. The rest of the swarm had burrowed underground once more to pursue him, moving quickly through the earth. They were gaining.

Dangit. How many of these things are there?

Thinking quickly, Chad searched for ideas. His shotgun lay abandoned on the street nearby, and he didn't expect the rifle or pistol to be much use here. Not to mention that simply punching and kicking would take forever against these numbers.

Suddenly, an idea struck him. A dumb idea, but an idea nonetheless. He suppressed a stupid grin as it crystallized in his mind.

Chad darted to the side until he was next to an overturned dumpster. The telltale furrows angled to follow in a thick line, winding around craters and beneath piles of rubble. Then, he waited.

Ten feet. Five feet. When the Lobhobbers were only three feet away, the first heads began to emerge from the ground. Then, Chad sprang into action. Time to see if this skill is really worth it.

He pulled back his right arm and activated Adrenaline Surge.

In an instant, his entire body filled with an indescribable power. Vigor coursed through him like electricity, empowering each muscle with a strength unlike anything else. It was well past the feeling that even medical enhancements could provide. His arm felt as though he'd just put several stat points into it all at once. He couldn't just lift a car one-handed. He was certain he could throw one. He was invincible.

There was no time to bask in the sensation, though. Before any more Lobhobbers emerged, Chad let a punch fly. Rather than at the mutant lobsters though, he had a different target - the ground.

An impact like a small earthquake shook the earth as Chad's fist impacted. Shards of asphalt flew in every direction as the sheer force blew a new crater in the street. A ripple of earth rocketed forward, warping the ground as though it were liquid. As it reached the Lobhobbers, the closer ones exploded outright as they were smashed by the churning earth. The further ones were forcefully ejected from the rippling asphalt, stunned.

Before the skill's effects faded, Chad reached over for the dumpster, gritting his teeth against the ongoing pinches across his body. With far less effort than should have been possible, he swung the heavy container around and shoved it toward the revealed enemies. The metal screeched across the ground with a high-pitched shriek, followed by a series of sickening crunches.

A moment later, Chad felt the strength go out of him. The sudden emptiness left him feeling weak, if only in comparison to the absolute rush of the skill's effect. Panting slightly, Chad finally turned his attention toward the leftover Lobhobbers still crawling across his body.

"Annoying little–!" The frenzied slapping resumed. "Give up already!"

"Mmph!" Squawkers muttered something unintelligible through a mouthful of lobster parts and kept biting.

A few minutes and much dancing about later, the last of the pests were finally dealt with. As Chad slapped a final Lobhobber pinching at his thigh, the notification confirmed it.

You have defeated a Lobhobber Swarm (Lvl 3)! +3 Exp.

"Phew…" He let out a sigh of relief, settling back against a nearby wall. "That was… a lot."

"I hate those things!" The parrot ruffled his feathers indignantly, spreading his wings wide to display a bald spot on his chest. "Look! Look what they did to my beautiful coat! Honestly, the things I do for you…"

Chad checked himself over. His legs and chest were absolutely covered in red welts and bleeding marks. There were even a few hand-shaped bruises from where he'd gotten a bit too enthusiastic with his slapping. He couldn't imagine that his back was much better. The damage was nothing life-threatening, but it hurt.

He frowned up at the sky. I'm barely two steps into this area and I've already used Adrenaline Surge. On something below my level, no less. That can't be good.

Still, it was good to know what the skill did. And boy, did it deliver. His knuckles were bruised and bloodied from punching the asphalt so hard but nowhere near as broken as expected. All in all, his idiotic idea had worked out quite well.

"Oh hey!" Squawkers interrupted his thoughts. "I leveled up! I'm level two now!"

"Nice!" Chad congratulated his companion. It was a ray of positivity in the whole annoying situation. "What did you get?"

"Three whole stat points. Ooh, what should I spend them on? Definitely intelligence, of course, because I'm a very smart bird and my stats should reflect that. But… hmmm…"

Chad nodded. Three points was what he'd gotten. At least that seemed to be consistent. Maybe it meant that Squawkers would also get a skill at level three.

"Still, it's weird that we only got one notification," his companion squawked. "There must've been a hundred of those things back there. I was kinda hoping for a lot more."

Chad grunted in agreement. "Same. That felt like a whole lot of work for three experience…"

"Maybe it had to do with the 'Swarm' thing in the name?"

"Huh. Maybe? I didn't think about that." The arm wrestler scratched Squawkers under the chin. "Look at you, being all smart. Those intelligence points are already paying off!"

"That's right! Don't worry yourself about that thinking stuff." He puffed out his chest proudly. "That's what I'm for! You're the brawn, I'm the brains!"

"Rude. I'll have you know I'm quite good at tactics and stuff."

"I'm sure you are, Mr. I'll-punch-things-until-everything's-dead." The bird patted him on the head with one wing. "Now let's get out of here."

Chad hauled himself to his feet, retrieving his fallen weapon. "Right. Let's go."