“I want you all, or more accurately, you,” she said, pointing in my direction. “To take me to the newly discovered relic so we can use your nonsensical cultivation base to poop all over the face of everyone there.”

****

A breeze blew in the silence that came after that statement was uttered. Something told me that if I didn’t break this silence, something weird was gonna pop up. So allow me.,

“You’re a whole lot of freaky, aren’t you?” I asked with an open mind.

“That doesn’t matter here,” she stated.

“Uuuhh, I’m thinking it does. You literally just asked me to use my cultivation base to defecate in other people’s faces. I don’t know what kind of operation you think we’re running here, but I’ll tell you right now, THAT, is not one of them.”

I believe it’s a good thing to just put our bottom line out there. On that note, I will say that my bottom will not be engaging in any of the aforementioned operations.

“I’m not being literal. I’m saying that I want you to take me in there so we can dominate the relic and take all the treasures. The domination, in this case, is the metaphorical excrement,” she explained.

“Are you insinuating that I’m prone to cultivating one of the major daos of constipation? Because I’d like to add that we’re currently discussing the minor dao of shi—”

“Long Di, behave!” Feng Yu interjected, to stop me from changing the rating on this thing.

She looked back at the new arrival before continuing. “Miss Yaomu Shou is it? I’m sorry, but we can’t just take you with us. My strength may not compare with Long Di’s, but I am the leader on this outing. In that sense, I cannot see any benefit in bringing you with us. In addition, we know almost nothing about you.”

I nodded when I heard Feng Yu’s reasoning; I see that common sense is not all but lost in this world. She truly makes me proud.

“If you let me come with you, I’ll give you information about the relic you’re going to, which I’m sure will be useful,” Yaomu Shou said.

Feng Yu’s eyes lit up when she heard this. “Really? Deal!”

“I digress. Common sense is but a distant dream. To be pursued but never attained.”

“Long Di, are you alright?” Shen Ling asked me.

“Don’t mind me, I was just inner-monologuing… out loud. Don’t seek sense in that sentence,” I waved her off before turning my attention to Feng Yu, and for her, I shook my head, or as the young kids say, smh.

“Wait, wha—”

“You.” I turned my attention to Yaomu Shou, cutting off Shen Ling’s line of question. “Can you let go of my hand? I don’t feel comfortable being touched by human beings in general, much less a girl that talks so passionately about defecation.”

“Oh? But I’m a demon,” she quipped with a mischievous smile.

I stared at her blankly for a while when she said that before responding with, “… Touché.”

Confusion furrowed her brows at that. “Did you just say too shi—”

“You finish that statement, and I walk away, forcing you to wave to someone else,” I said, shaking my hand from her grip before walking away anyway to get started on our journey.

“Hey wait!” I could hear her calling me from behind, but I didn’t care.

Eventually, all the disciples followed after the two of us, wondering what sort of adventures they were going to be a part of.

…

“The Peach Blossom Sage, when he was still alive, was a Star Creation realm expert, also known as a True Star Sage.” As we made our way to this relic, Yaomu Shou chose to take on the heavy burden of spouting exposition, so far be it from me to stop her.

She continued. “Of course, when one reaches this realm, one has the privilege to don a title that represents them. As the Peach Blossom Sage was a powerhouse whose techniques revolved around the utilisation of peach blossoms, this was the origin of this title. His true name was long lost, forgotten to time. At the end of his life, not wanting his inheritance to be severed, he used the last smouldering embers of his life to create an inheritance that included not only his possessions but also his techniques.”

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I didn’t even ask how she knew about all this. She must be someone pretty versed in a lot of stuff to know about the Peach Blossom Sage specifically.

It was either that or maybe this guy was pretty famous, I dunno.

We eventually came in within seeing-eye distance of the so-called relic.

It was at an isolated location defined by its many cliffs and extremely craggy terrain, far removed from civilization.

It was a small temple-like construct if I had to describe it. It was sandwiched between two cliffs that dwarfed it in size. The size disparity was so daunting that it seemed as if the cliffs wished to showcase their might.

This small temple only boasted a simple room, but within this room was a small pink rotating portal. Faint illusions of peach blossoms could be seen exiting and entering it at irregular intervals, which made for quite the sight.

A similarly pink shield that acted as a deterrence covered the entire thing though, disallowing the entrance of any unwelcome would-be intruders.

This location, which I’m guessing is normally empty and void of any signs of life, was currently filled to the brim with Demons and Human cultivators.

The two races were separated into two clear camps at the moment. It didn’t need to be said that the demons and the humans didn’t have a harmonious relationship.

Yaomu Shou didn’t shy away from telling us that small wars between the two species regularly broke out, but they only remained at this level. Apart from the first war between the two that shook the heavens and scarred the earth, no large-scale wars have ever taken place since then.

There were also many camps among the two races that isolated themselves from others. No one dared to provoke these powers lest they bring destruction upon their own power or sect.

The most palpable tension, however, remained that between races. The dividing line between the two was both metaphorical and physical, as there was a large swath of land that remained unoccupied.

This land signified the boundary between the two that could not be occupied lest the brave and/or foolish party that does so, would collect upon themselves the ire of all the powers here.

Well, considering that my team has both humans, that being myself, and demons, that being everyone else, I guess I’ll have to walk that boundary.

“Okay, but why peach blossoms? It just seems weird.”

“I don’t know! Ask the Peach Blossom Sage!”

“Is he not dead?”

Right now, I and Yaomu Shou were having a conversation about the Peach Blossom Sage since I wanted to know a little more about the whole thing.

At the same time, I realised that our voices cut through the tension-addled silence like butter, causing everyone’s neck to snap in the direction it came from… which was us.

There, they saw our group of six walking down the dividing line. I was at the front, apparently, Feng Yu didn’t want to be the leader when it came to things like this.

Well, it’s not like I care, anyway.

As these people stared at me intensely, I could tell what they were thinking. It was probably something like this.

*His black hair waved slightly in the wind, and his eyes revealed no fluctuation of either excitement, sadness or anything that could be used to judge him. The people simply found him unfathomable.

The girl behind him, whilst not as indifferent, didn’t place much of the people here in her eyes, either

She was not human, like the boy in front, but was of the demon race. Not only that, her dark-violet skin, black hair that shone in the sun with a navy blue hue, and tail that extended behind her, made many people suck in a cold breath of air.

The remaining disciples, Feng Yu included, were terrified (okay they were killing my swagger darn it) at the scene of all these supreme powers gazing at them with ill intent. They made sure to stick close to Yaomu Shou and the supremely heroic-looking boy, hoping to use their apparent indifference to bolster their own greatly shaken courage.*

See that, I would make an awesome announcer would I not?

Well, regardless of that, all the cultivators present stared on with anger, shock, and surprise.

There were a lot of emotions which I didn’t expect. After all, the courage needed to saunter down the path we were on represented one of two things.

That was either supreme courage or unhealthy stupidity. Because the line between the two was so thin, the people didn’t know what to make of this.

Eventually, annoyed with my mere presence, just like my uncle, one of the more hot-tempered cultivators, a titanic, grey-skinned, muscular four-armed demon, jumped out from the side and landed in front of us.

The land shook when he landed, and his blood qi, great and oppressive as it was caused Feng Yu and the rest of the disciples to pale under its power.

His arm bulged and the veins that wriggled across his body pulsated like a slithering dragon. Ew.

He was obviously a powerful cultivator and I guess he wanted to… teach us a lesson?

He took heavy steps that caused tremors as he bore down on me, obviously not seeing me as a threat.

He was right before me and opened his mouth to speak.

“I—”

His booming voice frightened and spurned me into action. Like a responsible preadolescent boy, I yelled. “Stranger danger!”

Boom!

I could see it all so clearly. My legs flew up with a shocking force and a sprinkle of tribulation lightning before it landed in the demon’s crotch!

Pop!

All the female cultivators hurriedly turned away with reddened faces.

The muscular demon’s eyes nearly popped out of his head as all the male cultivators involuntarily held their own crotch. The pain shared by men could be felt.

It was by no means an exaggeration to say that I may have caused this man’s balls to explode.