“Do you even try to think about the ramifications of your actions before you even talk!?”
“Now to be fair, in my defence, at that time, I was unsupervised. So if there is anyone to blame, it would be you.”
“What did you say!?”
“Okay, that didn’t come out right. But you know that I’m right, and if you are unaware of it, I have a wonderful book called common sense for dumm—”
“Stop your nonsensical gibber gabber for a minute, please!”
Uncle Tian Lu and I have been bickering for the better part of an hour, because of my past verbal action of bringing up the traitor in the room which, might I add, was pretty obvious at this point.
“What you did could be seen as the intentional fracture of the cohesiveness of this sect. The only reason this wasn’t pursued was because of your relationship with me by the ones with sense in this sect!”
“First of all, this sect is about as cohesive as your tooth is to your gum. Second of all, I would kindly ask you to not throw the word sense around so shamelessly. Now about that book I was telling you abo—”
“Sigh…”
Uncle Tian Lu sighed in the most exasperated way possible just to cut me off, but I’m not mad. He then looked at me with a tired look on his face, so I just stared back and waited for him to say something.
“How is your cultivation technique coming along?”
At this question, I felt pretty proud. Prouder than that time, I farted whilst being hit by my alcoholic uncle, in which case the stench paralysed him for a good 5 minutes. My own personal form of revenge, if you will.
“So, you didn’t get the chance to see it, but I had to go through several forms of deconstruction,” I started to explain. “Now if I were a betting man, much like my Pebbles the Wondercat’s uncle, I would say that the several forms that were being deconstructed were the levels of tribulation you told me about once before.”
I could see that his eyes glistened in delight when he heard this. How did I know it was delight you may ask? Well, his tooth came out to perform some heaven-defying acrobatics when he smiled.
“Manifest your cauldrons and then summon the elemental affinity that this technique gave you.”
Following his instructions, my cauldrons slowly materialised into existence.
Duuum…
They thrummed with an ancient rhythm as they spun with an authority domineering enough to commandeer the revolution of the 9 heavens and earth. Don’t ask me why I know this, cultivation is weird.
They were all boundlessly black like before; as if hidden within their darkness were the secrets of the universe.
They each had carved within their bodies a groove where there lay a pearl that was almost see-through due to their quality. Spirituality glistened within them making them appear like orbs of water beholding the starry sky. There was one exception though, for one cauldron had a pearl of a grey glow. This one was lit up with my elemental affinity, becoming a star core.
“No matter how many times I see them, I feel so amazed,” Uncle Tian Lu said. “I’ve seen such clear pearls before. These have certainly been purified to the limit.”
He looked almost in love as he stared at my pearl. Yuck.
His expression changed as he stared at the cauldrons. “Those things have this aura that can truly make one feel small. Now show me your affinity.”
Krrrsh!
A crackling of grey lightning danced around in my palm as I drove my new cultivation technique. I should let it be known that this was the first time I listened to so many of his instructions without any back sass.
Progress.
“Interesting. This is the earliest and well, the first level of lightning tribulation known as Heavenly Levyance,” he told me.
I saw as he sunk into deep thought while I did the same. Of course, it was about important stuff, like what should I have for dinner, and whether I should try to pee lightning. Just the important things in life, I guess.
“You need to be careful, little demon,” he said after some thought. “The mere fact that you are able to command the very hand of heaven’s judgement itself is no small matter. If too many people find out, it might draw unwanted attention.”
His foreshadowing was so blunt and massive that it practically blocked out the sun. Seriously, were they even trying to hide it?
“I understand. However, I need some martial techniques. What do you guys have?” I asked him.
“Nothing of note here for you, I’m afraid. Plus, you’re more geared for lightning-type martial techniques now, which are one of the rarer types of martial techniques out there.”
“Then I’ll just make one u—”
“Oh, no you don’t you little demon spawn! You’ll follow the others and go into the city some distance away to help them find some ingredients to help the first elder heal his injuries.”
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I thought for a while and knew that if I refuse; it was going to be a pain to deal with, so I proposed something that I knew would happen and wanted to get some benefits out of it.
“How did he get injured?”
“He used a forbidden technique.”
“Why?”
“Because he’s a fool.”
“Can I learn it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Are you a fool, too?”
“I aspire to be just like my master.”
“Did you just insult me and compliment me at the same time!?”
“For the sake of a peaceful working master-disciple relationship, I would rather not answer that question.”
“Why you little—!”
“Okay,” I interrupted him by agreeing to his request. “I accept, but… I want to make a bet.”
Uncle Tian Lu narrowed his eyes when I said this. “What sort of bet?”
He seemed wary. Did I ever do something to justify that?
“I will go wherever with them, and I will promise that I will do nothing at all to provoke anyone. However, if I get approached by the bigshot of some clan, sect or group and they give me trouble, then you teach me that forbidden technique.”
“That will net me no benefit. Why would I make such a reckless be—”
“How about this, then? Make this bet with me and I will personally give the children pointers to help them in breaking through.”
“What? You think you are a qualified master simply because you have a high cultivation ba—”
“I’m one of, if not, the youngest One Star Core Martial Master who also created his own cultivation technique that allows me to command the hammer of the very hands of judgement that the heavens itself uses to slay those powerful enough to flip the seas, reverse the rivers and are known worthy enough to be revered as badass. You’re saying that I am not worthy to impart nothing as far as pointers are concerned?”
“I—I…. Uhm, but…”
I looked at him in sincere confusion, as I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t want me to help. I wasn’t trying to show off, but the truth itself should show that there would be more to gain from this than not.
“Alright, fine. I accept. I’ll accept the bet IF you are able to have the disciples go through some change, and by that, I mean positive changes. I won’t be the one to train them, but I do want the best for them.”
“Good stuff,” I nodded, a bit satisfied. I stood up from the bed I was in since I was sent here by Uncle Tian Lu after my mention of the traitorous elephant.
“I’m assuming that based on the fact that the first old man is injured that you want us to get a move on.”
“Wait a minute,” Uncle Tian Lu called me back just as I reached the door.
“Huh? What is it?” I asked.
“Did you already decide on a name for your cultivation method?” Uncle Tian Lu asked me with a grave expression.
“Huh? Oh yeah, I did,” I remembered a bit excitedly. “Its name is Screw—”
Dum!
“Stop!” Uncle Tian Lu ran over, tripping over himself several times before he covered my mouth with his hands and let me tell ya.
IT.
DID.
NOT.
TASTE.
GOOD.
“Mmfff mmhhmm…”
“Stop trying to talk, you plague-inducing-by-way-of-verbal-affliction hellspawn!”
‘Okay, first of all, WOW! Where did that come from all of a sudden?’
Not gonna lie, I felt offended, and I made it known by daintily placing my right hand on my chest. However, it just went over his head and most likely through his tooth, since he didn’t care and just snorted in my direction. The disrespect in this world just runs rampant.
“I don’t care about your feelings, mostly because it looks like you don’t even have any—”
“Mmuah Mmhwwmm.” → “That’s offensive.”
“Listen to me!” he shouted once again.
“Do not utter the name of your technique until you come back and I take you far away from here,” he said with that same grave expression.
When he was sure that I wasn’t and wouldn’t say anything, he slowly took his hand from my mouth.
Did you know that fresh air had a taste? It does, and it tastes good, and I mean really, really good.
“Why?” I asked.
“It is only a legend, but—”
“The way you started that question just oozes the play-out of whatever you say after definitely coming through, but continue,” I advised him.
Uncle Tian Lu’s brows furrowed in apparent confusion before he disregarded what I said and went on. “It was said from an age beyond archaic that legend-ranked cultivation techniques are known to call down a summon from above in the form of a phenomenon or otherwise upon the completion of their creation in order to receive validation from the heavens, and though this world can’t last tell the emergence of such a highly ranked method, seeing the nature of yours, for safety’s sake, I will consider it as such, and with that being said, hear me out Long Di.”
This is the first time he called me by my name, I think. This must even be graver than all the graves I saw in that MJ music video. I can’t help but think it’s gonna be thrilling… heh, get it? I said ‘Thrilling…’ like Thriller, didja get it? Yeah, you get it.
“Are you listening?”
Whoops, I almost got caught inner monologuing again. I need to nod seriously and pretend to be absorbed in his words again. Luckily, my favourite enamel-suited performer is on display today.
“Your cultivation technique steals from the Heavens! If it is legend ranked, then based on the law of the heavenly daos, it MUST be recognised as such. However, the phenomenon levied upon you, for its recognition may bring upon you swift destruction. So don’t call out its name as yet, as that would signal its completion. Treat it like a taboo Long Di, I implore, nay, command this of you as your master.”
“Understood Master Tian Lu.”
“Good.”
I could see him sighing in relief after that. I guess once I call its name it’ll be set in stone and I can no longer make changes to it. So might as well make it, even more, OP and make it unique to myself while I’m at it.
I have an idea of what’s gonna happen if I call the name, so using the time to fine-tune it isn’t all that bad.
“Ah yes, here. Try this on for a bit. I want you to tell me how it feels.”
“Eh?”
He dropped a metallic object in my eleven-year-old hands and when I felt it… well… see my description below.
My two jewels contracted in shock when I felt what it was this evil master of mine gave me.