Cups of instant noodles and bags of snacks covered the floor of a dark room. The only light source in this hole of anxiety and depression was a monitor with a single young “adult” sat staring at it.
(Writer’s notes: No this is not your room you degenerate).
“Hah, I’ve finally done it”
The 18-year old smiled exhaustedly. His face which normally housed a bored expression, showed a tiny glint of triumph as he thrusted his can of soda into the air. Aaron dropped his empty bag of chips to the ground and spoke to the void.
Aaron:
I’ve completed all 127 episodes of JuJu’s weird trip in one sitting. They said it couldn’t be done, they said “you need to sleep at least 8 hours a day”, they said “you should get a life, this is unhealthy” but look at me now!
Heavy bags sat under his eyes and contrasted with his pale skin. Chugging the last of his energy drink, while spilling some onto his black hoodie, he continued.
Aaron:
Hmm, what now. Its 3 a.––
He opened the curtain and was blinded by the sun in the sky. A sight he hadn't seen in while.
Aaron:
3 p.m. and I need food.
He leaned back in his chair contemplating what flavour ramen he wanted. Truly the toughest decision of the day so far.
Aaron:
Pork and soy sauce doesn’t sound bad– AHHHHH
He leaned a little too far and went tumbling to the floor. He crashed with a thump and groaned in pain. After the impact, he rubbed back of his head. He focused his eyes and returned to his normal unamused face. Until he looked around.
The floor was chilly and smooth. His prized chair had disappeared leaving him on a snow white floor. He looked forward and saw a lady dressed in traditional clothing. Aaron placed his hands on the floor and cautiously raised himself up, trying to make sense of the situation.
Lady:
Oh, that was fast. ahem. Welcome to the afterlife!
She smiles and places her hand on her chest
Lady:
I’m Cris, goddess of life and I’m here to—
Aaron:
HOLD UP, THE AFTERLIFE.
Cris:
Yes, the afterlife
Aaron:
HOW THE HELL DID I DIE!
Cris:
Oh, it seems that you …*heh*… fell of your chair and hit your head.
Aaron:
What.
Cris:
Yup.
Aaron:
THAT’S HOW I GO! I fall down after an anime binge then DIE!
Cris:
pfft heh.
Aaron:
You just laughed didn’t you.
Cris:
No.
Aaron:
The goddess of life is laughing at me. Was I really that pathetic?
Aaron loses the light from his eyes and sheds a single tear. Cris creates a table out of light and uses it to support her hand thats holding her head.
Cris:
Anyways… since you died so young, the gods here want to give you a second chance to prove your worth.
Aaron:
Oh, so I don’t get to go to heaven yet.
Cris:
HAH, like you were going there. First you’ll be reincarnated into a new world and have to prove how good you are as a person there.
Aaron:
I see……and what proof do I have of you being a goddess? For all I know this could be an overly intricate pyramid scheme.
Cris waves her right hand revealing a paper fan from thin air. She then waves it around creating strong gusts of wind forcing Aaron to shield his eyes as flowers bloom all around the two, changing the landscape from a barren board, to a blossoming orchid. The petals of every flower sing in harmony, creating a melodious song that would bring a tear to the eye of any musician.
Aaron:
Hmmmm …….. yeah ………..still not convinced.
Cris:
Okay then.… Maybe I should reveal some interesting facts about you then.
Cris materialises a hardcover book from thin air and starts reading from it.
Cris:
Let’s see here…….
Full name: Aaron Codin
Age: 18
Occupation: none
Remarkable life achievements: none
Personal taste: Although on many occasions he claims that he would only find 2d waifus attractive, he deep down secretly knows that he would take any opportunity to make someone his girlfriend as he has been starved of any form of meaningful contact with the opposite sex for a long time
Friends:None
Aaron:
Okay you can stop now.
Cris:
Thoughts in the past minute: “I actually believe that this lady is a goddess. However, I simply wanted to test how far she would go to prove herself”
Aaron:
Yeah, I get it. My bad.
Cris:
“I want to see if she would have bent down on her knees, look me in the face while slowly pulling down my pants and start”—
Aaron:
OKAY! I BELIEVE YOU! WE CAN STOP IT THERE! NO NEED FOR FURTHER PROOF!
Cris smiles smugly as she closes her book and makes it vanish into a ball of light.
Aaron:
So, whats up with the entire reincarnation thing?
Cris:
Ah yes, the world you’re about to be transported to is known as Eden. It’s based on Tabletop Role Playing Games (TRPGs). The world is currently threatened by monsters and demons alike. Magic is prevalent and I’m sure you know the gist of it all. You must help in the attempt to slay the Demon Lord that threatens the land.
Aaron:
So none of the religions got it right, but anime did.
Cris:
You mean those fairy tales you humans fight about and worship daily?
Aaron:
I can’t tell if you’re referring to the religion part or anime part.
Cris:
We leave you guys to evolve for a few centuries and this happens?
Aaron:
And what if I don’t try to fight the Demon Lord?
Cris opens a portal portraying a red landscape. Screams of pain escape from the hole in reality. The sound of tortured souls engrave themselves into Aaron’s mind. Fire and heat pour out of the portal as do the sounds of rocks falling and bones crushing.
Cris:
Simple enough, you’ll go to hell.
Aaron:
Oh…….. So basically, what you’re saying is that I have to be an Isekai protagonist
Cris:
I mean I guess, but its not exactly like how you think it will turn—
Aaron:
I get to be an overpowered MC with a magic sword! Go on epic quests to save the universe! Have a harem filled with every single fetish! AND A BEACH EPISODE!
Cris:
Assuming you–
Aaron:
THERE’S NO TIME TO WASTE. I can finally be the badass hero I’ve wanted to be!
His exhausted face now smiling ear to ear. Cris is however not amused.
Cris:
Are you even listening to me or should I smite you—
Aaron:
THIS LIFE SUDDENLY TOOK A TURN FOR THE BEST
Cris:
Since you’re not listening I assume you don’t need anything
Aaron:
Actually yes one thing. Could you pull down my-
Cris:
Ok bye.
A bright light engulfs Aaron as he looks up expectingly. He thinks to himself.
“This is going to be great!”
But, he would soon find out that his thoughts were going to be quite wrong.
*FLUSH*
Walking out of a cubicle that could only be described as a hole with earthen walls. A teen in a black hoodie stepped out, breathing in fresh air. Something he hadn’t done in a while.
(Writer’s note: You should probably get some fresh air too)
“Thought reincarnation always had a wagon and was more “You're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border, right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush, same as us, and that thief over there”, toilets are not my first thoughts when summoning comes up.”
He walked into the streets that were reminiscent of any medieval fantasy setting. Stone roads with vibrant green trees on sidewalks filled with cheerful citizens. Tall stone walls protected the small area. And the major landmark of the town, a huge water fountain in the centre of it all.
“Haha, this is amazing!”
Aaron made his way around town. Stopping by taverns, and visiting the local market. Sitting in the park and inspecting the library. But, most importantly, he arrived at the adventurers guild.
Aaron:
If I’m going to be sent to a fantasy RPG world, why wouldn’t I be an adventurer!
The teen who hadn’t seen the sun in the past week gleefully spoke these lines.
Aaron stepped through the enormous wooden doors. The scene was straight from a fantasy tabletop RPG. So just imagine an adventurer’s guild and you probably have good idea of what it looks like. Wooden floors. Lanterns hanging from the walls. Drunk adventurers eating and partying in a corner. A counter with beautiful receptionists answering any queries. And the infamous notice board filled with quests.
Aaron:
Hi, how would I go about becoming an adventurer.
Guild Lady:
Oh, are you sure you want to be an adventurer?
Aaron:
Why wouldn’t I be?
Ah yes, the boy who had skin so pale that it was questionable if he knew what the outdoors looked like. The teen who wore a black hoodie with grey sweatpants. Who else could have been the perfect image of an adventure?
Guild Lady:
No reason!
The guild lady smiles but secretly knowing that this will not turn out well. She then opens a drawer revealing a stack of blank cards. Each card looked as if it had aged for decades. She pulls one out carefully ensuring to only touch the sides of the thin sheet.
Guild lady:
Please, place one of your fingers on this card.
Aaron:
Oh, like this?
Aaron outstretches his index finger and places it gently on the card. Suddenly a blinding beam of light emanates from the card. Words burn and engrave themselves onto the card creating intricate patterns. A sketch of Aaron’s face details itself onto the top right corner. A final flash of colour occurs and the card is filled with writing.
Aaron:
HOLY SHIT! THAT’S SO COOL!
Guild Lady:
Ummmm, didn’t you see this when you were filling out any other forms? It’s used by a lot of inn’s and legal documentation. The only way you wouldn’t have seen this is if you were a shut-in who never left they’re house?
Aaron:
Ah, y-yes of course I’ve seen it before. It’s just that it felt extra cool this time, that’s all.
This tale has been unlawfully lifted without the author's consent. Report any appearances on Amazon.
“Ah, I see. Shut-in N.E.E.T.s are a universal constant, even in this fantasy world”
(Writer’s notes: N.E.E.T.s stands for Not in Education, Employment, or Training)
The guild lady smiles at Aaron’s weak attempt at covering up his shock and awe after seeing what is not too uncommon of an event in their world. Aaron reads the card carefully as the guild lady prepares a small sack behind the counter.
Name: Aaron Codin
Class: Rogue
Strength: 6
Dexterity: 12
Defence: 6
Intelligence: 14
Charisma: 8
Luck: 8
Skill/Spells: None
Proficiencies: One-handed weapons, Improvised weapons
Aaron:
Hmm, my stats seem pretty good!
Guild lady:
Ummmm…actually, the average stat for a commoner like me is 10. Your most notable stat is Intelligence followed by Dexterity. I would have assumed that you would have been a mage with that Intelligence but your Charisma is too low too cast any high level spells.
Aaron:
Ehhh.
Aaron’s face was left in mixture of disappointment, shame and disbelief.
Guild Lady:
As far as proficiencies go, you are proficient in improvised weapons which some people naturally start off with, but you’re also surprisingly proficient at using one-handed weapons as well. Tell me, how did you gain such proficin—?
Aaron:
That is not important.
Aaron recalled all the hours spent playing with his “sword” alone in his room. The guild lady ties up the sack she’s been working on and seats it on the table.
Guild Lady:
Right! Here’s the beginning equipment for a rouge. A short sword as its damage is based on dexterity rather than strength, a dagger for throwing or just for general use, a coin pouch, and 2 health potions.
Aaron:
Hmmm, a rogue. The cool hooded figure who disappears and reappears at will. Dealing fatal blows that end enemies in a single hit. The badass hero who makes all the girls swoon with a snap of his fingers.
Aaron strokes his chin thinking about the possibilities of still being the cool hero he’s always wanted to be.
Guild Lady:
Uhhh..rogues are commonly seen as untrustworthy cheats who will try and steal everything from you. Most people try to distance themselves from rogues due to fear. Rogues also usually end up as criminals and assassins because its more lucrative. They get extra bonuses to dexterity based activities like sneaking and pickpocketing so they’re usually the first one suspected of doing a crime.There actually aren’t many rogues in the adventurers guild because they’re usually too edgy and pretentious to be useful in teams so they’re shunned out of groups.
Aaron:
Ohhhhhhhhh..…
Aaron’s dreams come crashing down. His wish to be in a team of hardened heroes. His dream of relaxing with his harem in a hot tub. The thought of having people offer him special discounts for his heroic deeds. All of that destroyed.
Guild Lady:
Anyways, do take quests from the notice board over there. There’s usually a permanent quest to slay monsters around the city. Bring some monster parts back and we’ll reward you!
Aaron:
Oh, will do……..
Aaron leaves the guild as the guild lady waves at him to say goodbye.
Guild Lady:
I hope he doesn’t die
The guild lady quietly whispers to herself.
Aaron continues his journey to the outskirts of the town. Lush greenery and rolling hills as far as the eye could see. This sight was near impossible to find in the urban landscape of Aaron’s previous world. And there was only one thing going through Aaron’s mind at the sight of such beauty.
“WHY ARE MY STATS SO LOW! Is it because I lived the life of a weeb! Never leaving the house unless a new game was out, never moving a muscle other than clicking on the next episode and stuffing my face with chips! Aren’t heroes like me supposed to be strong and overpowered! Chosen by the goddess of life herself to carry her will! Shouldn’t she have given me some waaaaay too OP power that can’t be tamed! Supreme magic affinity, super strength or inhuman reaction speeds! Most of the guild lady’s stats are higher than mine dammit! Aren’t isekai protagonists supposed to be cool like K1R1T0 from SAO or A1n2 00a1 G0wn from 0V3RL0RD. Then why do I feel like Na15uk1 5ub4ru from R3:Z3R0 instead! ALSO what the hell is up with the rogue stereotype! They always show them as the cool badass on TV at home! What the hell did the rogues in this world do to bring down the rogue name! Couldn’t they have just been DECENT people!”
(Writer’s notes: I don’t know how strict Japanese copyrights rules are and I don’t want to test them. You should be able to guess who these people are and what anime they’re from though.)
Aaron:
Well, none of that matters nows. As long as I get to kick some monster ass this can all be worth it.
Aaron’s eyes dart towards a rustling bush. He places his sack down onto the ground and prepares.
Aaron:
And it looks like some monster ass is coming right this way!
Aaron unsheathes his sword and points it towards the bush. A blue slime comes out of the shrub and slowly makes its way to Aaron. Aaron gives a battle cry as he attacks the slime. The sword cuts into its blue body, leaving a trail.
Aaron:
HAHAH, how does the might of the goddess of life’s chosen one feel!
Radiant blue numbers appear above the slime head. The numbers roll until it reaches a specific value.
Aaron:
Is that a damage counter? This world really is a TRPG huh.
{-4HP}
Wait, really. THAT’S ALL THE DAMAGE I DO!
Aaron tugs on the sword so he can pull it up and make another strike. He pulls with all his might but it doesn’t budge. More text appears and hovers above the sword.
{Strength check:FAILED}
“Did the slime just overpower me?”
The slime pulls the short sword away and engulfs Aaron’s foot. The acidity of the slime’s body starts to hurt Aaron’s foot making him grid his teeth in pain. Red text appears next to Aaron’s head
{-2HP}
Aaron:
HEY!
Aaron flails his leg to try kick the slime off his foot.
{Strength check:SUCCESS}
{-2HP}
The slime goes flying and lands splattering all over grass. Aaron walks over to the puddle of goo to look for loot. All he finds is blue jelly. As he approaches it, a label pops showing the name of the object
{Blue gel}
“Eh, I’ll take it as proof for the adventurers guild”
He stuffs the jelly into his hoodie pocket and re-equips his sword. He notices a burn mark where the slime had attached onto him. More rustling comes from another bush and Aaron readies his sword once again.
Aaron:
That slime wasn’t too hard too beat. Let’s see what you got!
A wolf jumps out of the bush and rushes directly for him.
Aaron:
Hah a wolf, you’ll be just as easy as the slime before you—
The wolf jumps and lands directly on Aaron’s face. Its claws dig into his skin.
{-5HP}
Aaron:
AAHHHHHHHH! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFFFFFF!!!!
Aaron tries to pull the wolf of his face. His hands gripping on as hard as he can.
Aaron:
OW OW OW OW!
{Strength check: FAILED}
{-5HP}
GET……OFF……YOU…….SON……OF……A……BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH!
In the heat battle, the wild wolf’s face started to scrunch up. But not because of Aaron’s grip. Aaron realises this and his eyes widen in fear. There were only 2 words he could muster up in this predicament.
Aaron:
Please no.
The wolf uses its {Stench Attack}. A horrible smells wafts throughout the field. A brown nugget falls directly onto Aaron
{Defence check:FAILED}
{New skill unlocked}
Aaron uses the skill {Projectile Vomit} and launches the wolf off.
{-3HP}
{Status effect:Resolve Down}
The wolf runs off leaving a defeated Aaron to cower in self shame. Though the encounter ended, there were no winners…. Looking on the bright side, Aaron unlocked a new skill!