A full year went by in a blink of an eye. So many things happened that I wasn’t proud of, but there was a lot I enjoyed. I met my closest friend, Yosefin Böhme, the energetic extrovert tomboy who had a crush on me when I was in high school. I dabbled sexual wonders with Kat, then found myself in the persistent gaze of Yosefin’s heart. Every other day since the road trip and the time I almost stripped her naked after we impulsively made out, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I found it hard to be annoyed by the never-ending reminders. Weirdly, I liked her persistence. But I saw how it could lead to me being less social with other people.

For nearly a year, she was all I talked to. I wasn’t talking to any other girl, plus I barely spoke to my other friends. Yosefin didn’t have any friends either. I felt like that needed to change for both of us.

The day before Yosefin and I began our sophomore year, the air was thick with anticipation and excitement. We had spent the whole day together, running errands and simply enjoying the last moments of summer. As the sun began to set, we found ourselves in the comfort of her cozy bedroom, snuggled up on her bed.

“So,” Yosefin said when she momentarily rested the side of her face across my chest. “Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

“This isn’t right,” I sighed.

“You’re still on about that?” She said when she sat up to look directly at me. “What?” She somewhat snapped yet smiled afterward. “Is snuggling too far now? I’m just laying on you.” She leaned away before I could bring her back to me to show her that wasn’t the case. “Josh,” she scoffed. “You know how I feel about you,” she said in a softer voice. “But,” she said, cutting me off. “But... I understand why you don’t want me. It’s just...”

“It’s just what?”

“It’s just I wish it didn’t hurt, you know?” She nearly wept yet kept her face from frowning. “Oh, God,” she sighed with her hands in her lap, shaking her head while looking at me as if there was something wrong.

“What?”

“Do you not want to be friends anymore?”

“Whoa,” I said three times in a panic. My heart was racing and my lips felt like they shrunk. “You will always be my friend,” I said, clutching her thigh to scoot myself closer. She moved a couple of inches closer to completely close the gap between us. My hand slipped to the top of her thigh right near her left hip.

“I’m glad,” she said with a faint smile. “So,” she said after taking a deep swallow. “What isn’t right about.. us?” I suddenly got cold feet and lost all confidence in what I wanted to say. “Is it about the kisses we shared? Or... something more... deeper?” When she said deeper, she somewhat squinted like she was trying to look through me. Her worrying gaze made me unable to look her in the eyes. “Joshy.” That name put a smile on my face by the way she said it. It was quiet and I hadn’t heard it for a few weeks.

“We should go see other people.”

“Like... date?” She said, raising a brow. “Or finding... other... friends?”

“Date, but having more friends is good too. As far as I know, I’m the only friend you have.”

“But,” she stuttered. “Who would wanna be friends with me? Let alone date?”

“Tons!”

“I don’t know about that.” I reminded her of all of the things that attracted me to her. I talked about her personality, the fact she loved games, and that she was an extrovert. Many people would love that about her but she thought the unobvious truth about her could turn a lot of people away.

“You won’t know until you try.” She crossed her arms and looked down at the bed, pouting in silence. “You’re so childish,” I said as a joke.

“Ugh,” she groaned, rolling her eyes. “Okay! I’ll give it a try.”

We helped each other create our profiles on the same dating app by giving out some brief details about ourselves. Yosefin loaded her profile with the best of the best pictures of herself, including two pictures of her time at the rave.

“Hey, serious question,” she said as she was looking through the pictures on her profile. “Would you swipe by what you saw?” She handed me her phone so I could thoroughly check each picture.

“I would,” I said.

“Okay, let’s go on a date.”

“Yosefin...”

“Yeah, yeah.” She slowly swatted her head like she was annoyed with me then laid next to me with her hand behind my lower back. “Das wird ätzend! (This will suck!)” She whined, muffling her voice with the bed. I didn’t care to know what she said, but her tone of voice worried me.

“Look at me,” I said with my face inches from the back of her head. She turned enough to see me with her right eye.

“I’m looking,” she said then got on her back. I thought about talking about positive outlooks if she put in the effort to make connections with people. There were several puns and motivational expressions I had ready on the spot, but the more I saw her emotionless face, I decided against it.

“Uh... hi.”

“Hallo,” she said in a thick German accent. Her eyes darted a few times down my face. I checked my chest and touched my face to see if there was something there. “Nein, nein. Sehen Sie mich weiter an. (No, no. Keep looking at me.)”

“Why do you keep speaking German when you know I don’t understand?” I said out of frustration yet laughed about it.

“So you won’t know what I say, duh.”

“Whatever.”

“Whatever,” she said, mimicking my voice but playfully. “Hey!” She poked my lips and tickled my chin by curling my fingers under it. “Let’s go do something together.”

“It hasn’t been an hour since we got back.”

“You’re such a pain.” She suddenly wrapped her arms behind my back and pulled me down on top of her. Her legs locked around my legs, pinning me down.

“Yosefin, really?”

“Please?”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

I gave in to Yosefin’s sudden desire to cuddle. She wanted me to clutch her from behind so she could take a nap. As I tried to nap with her to avoid being bored since I wasn’t that tired, I thought about the chances of the possible issues and insecurities she might go through on the dating app. I worried about her telling the truth about herself to any guys she was thinking about dating, including their possible reactions. They would probably hate her for not telling what she was. She would somehow have to find a guy that didn’t care. Somebody that was more interested than I was.

As the days went by, Yosefin got matches out of the wazoo. Within a week, she texted me saying that fifteen different men swiped to get the chance to talk with her. It wasn’t until I sat in my chair to begin my sophomore semester in an introduction to low-level programming with her that she told me over the phone she hadn’t attempted to see who liked her.

“Are you serious?” I said, cupping my voice to keep my conversation with Yosefin private from the students around me. “Just spam the like button.”

“That sounds like a stupid idea. I don’t want to pick a weirdo.”

“You can just unmatch them.”

“Oh...”

She went silent for a few seconds then hung up on me when she appeared at the door. I ignored her energetic wave to check out the most tomboyish outfit she wore. She had on a white cap that was backward, a dark denim jacket with sleeves folded above her elbow, light sky-blue jeans, and white shoes. Her hair was perfectly straight and the blonde streaks were re-dyed. It flowed with grace when she jogged over to me to sit on the open chair to my left. The air behind her brought a wonderful scent of lemon and vanilla perfume.

“Heya, dude!” Yosefin said with a joyous quick hug before presenting me her phone. “Do you mind helping with this?” I agreed to assist in picking which guys could be good for her. She snuggled her arms around my left arm and rested her face on it as she gave me the thumbs up or thumbs down for all fifteen guys. She denied all of them.

“Yosefin,” I said in shock and loss for words. “They were all good.”

“Nah.” Her response left me even more speechless. These guys genuinely seemed perfect for her. Judging by their photos, they all had outgoing personalities. Most of their pictures when done outside near establishments. They looked well-groomed, good-looking, and were looking to date.

“I don’t know what to say,” I said. Five more matches came in the second I said that. “Pick at least one.” Yosefin took off her hat and looked at me without blinking for five seconds. “Please. We agreed to do this.” She suddenly swiped to match with a guy but locked her phone before I could get a good look at him.

“There. Happy?” I wasn’t happy, but at least I saw her try. “So, who on there has stolen your heart?” Her words made me hesitant to show her who liked me. The subtle passive-aggressive clinginess over me didn’t go away.

“Let’s see,” I said, digging for my phone.

Unfortunately, the professor came in and began to start the class. Yosefin let go of me to sit properly in her seat. Some students were still coming even though the professor was introducing what the whole class would be doing this semester.

A woman came into class after a minute went by. She, like most women I saw in college was attractive to catch my immediate gaze but she had a particular uniqueness. The identity of her race confused me because she looked like a mix of Southern European, Hispanic, and Middle Eastern. Her skin was a milky brown. On her face from what I could only assume was a somewhat pissed look, her mouth was somewhat pushed forward, and her eyebrows kind of sunk over her eyes. She had pink lipstick, squared brows, light brown eyes, and long deep brown hair. Her outfit was nothing but black on black. Black shirt, black sweats; black shoes. The size of her arms, shoulders, and legs was bigger than everyone in the room. She seemed toned but I wasn’t one hundred percent sure because of her clothing.

Since she came in extremely late to the class, she was struggling to find an open seat. There was a seat in front of me yet she failed to see it until a random student sitting next to it pointed it out.

“Oh, god,” she sighed then lightly slapped the side of her face. “I’m so fucking blind. Thanks.” When she thanked the student she smiled. I noticed she had on a full set of dark pink braces. As she sat down, she glanced at me, still smiling. The whole moment lasted a second but that image stayed in my head for a minute. It felt like that smile was directed toward me.

Five minutes before class ended, the professor finally called out who was here in attendance. He read the student’s names going in alphabetical order of their last names. When he got to the letter B and said Yosefin’s real name, she didn’t correct him with her preferred name.

“You’re not going to tell him it’s Yosefin?” I said.

“No,” she snickered.

“Why not?”

“Because it isn’t my real name.”

“But,” I said, lowering my voice. “To me it is.”

“That was one of the cutest things you’ve said to me,” she said, using her fingers to quiet her voice. I looked forward to prevent myself from severely blushing. It didn’t help that she was snickering and trying to make me look back by trying to put herself in my field of view.

“Stop,” I said. I blocked her entirely by putting my hand on the side of my face. The professor called my name during our shenanigans. He had to say my name twice before I said I was present. The woman who came in late caught my attention when I saw her swiping through her phone like a mad woman. All I could see were partial pictures going left or right across her screen. She stopped on a picture, leaned in closer to it, then turned on her front camera. I put my attention on Yosefin before I saw myself on the phone.

“So,” I said to play off from being noticed. Right before Yosefin could open her mouth, the professor gave out the woman’s name. Naomi Plantier.

“I’m here,” Naomi said, lightly waving her hand with the phone in it. She placed her phone near the edge of the table and kept occasionally staring at it like she was waiting for something. This lasted about a minute before the bell disrupted it.

“Awesome! Half an hour to the next class!” Yosefin said as she jumped out of her seat. “Let’s go to the den!” She rushed past everyone to wait outside. I got up when half of the class left. Naomi was still in her seat, watching people leave. She turned around to look at me when I was about to walk past.

“Joshua,” Naomi said, standing out of her seat with her phone clutched against her stomach. “I don’t know if you looked at your phone today,” she said with so many stutters. I thought she was about to have a seizure until she made another attempt at talking. “Sorry. I didn’t expect to get a chance to talk to you right off the bat.”

“I’m confused,” I said.

“The dating app you’re on.” She pointed at her phone. “I swiped on you.”

“Y- you did?”

“Yeah!”

My phone was on silent so I didn’t feel it vibrate. The first thing I saw on the app was Naomi’s profile. Her bio stated she came from Greek immigrants. She just turned twenty-one and was seeking to make new friends but wouldn’t mind going on dates if she met the perfect guy. All of her hobbies seemed casual. I didn’t get any Yosefin vibes like an extremely outgoing personality. Even though we were very close friends, sometimes it would get annoying.

“I’m a bit embarrassed about saying this,” Naomi said, looking off to her left where the dry-erase board was.

“Embarrassed about what?” Yosefin’s face creeping around the door frame caught my eyes. Only her right eye and a third of her face were visible. She was squinting at us.

“I’ll tell you out here.” She took me by arm out of the room and past Yosefin.

“Hey!” Yosefin said in a lightly aggressive tone as she grabbed my waist from the front to stop me. Naomi jumped. “Where are you going with him?”

“Just out here,” she said, speaking fast.

“Yosefin,” I whispered through my teeth. “What are you doing?” Yosefin stepped away with her arms crossed without answering my question. She leaned against the wall and messed around with her bare nails by touching them or digging her nails under them.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No. My friend and I were supposed to go somewhere after class and she’s being impatient.”

“Hmph,” Yosefin grunted.

“So, what were you going to say?”

“Oh!” Naomi gasped. “Would you mind giving me a chance?” She asked so politely yet timidly. Her direct eye contact stopped halfway through her speech but came back with blushing cheeks.

“Sure.”

“Wonderful! Here’s my number!” After I entered her number into my phone, she rushed to her next class on the top floor.

“Wow,” I chuckled at the quick success of finding someone on the app. “What do you think of her, Yosefin?”

“I’m not answering that question.” When I asked her why, she said with a smile, “Nah, it’s a stupid reason.”

“You can still tell me. I’ll understand,” I said to satisfy my curiosity and show I’m open to any weird response.

“I’m not ready to give you away,” she said with her head down as if she was ashamed to say it. “Before you say it.” She paused to put her finger up. “I know. We never dated, yet it feels like I’m getting replaced.”

“Oh, Yosefin...” I hugged her and held her close. “You need to stop thinking like that.”

“Fuck. I know. I know.”

“Will this be a problem?”

“No,” she said with a slight hesitation then smiled.