As the days went by, Willow felt a constant sense of pressure hovering over her head; her own life was constantly at risk the longer she stayed put and that made her antsy, but as Willow learnt more about the Resistance, she saw just how many people were constantly in danger because of her and Felix’s presence here. Willow recognised that as an internal terror group they were already considered a threat but harbouring a however unwilling fugitive and the local Bearer raised them above a mere threat: It was grounds for a complete slaughter.

If the King found them all still here, not even the children would be spared.

It was this that which pushed Willow to work hard and pulled Felix right along with her, much to his annoyance. Felix had not adapted well. Willow hypothesised that Felix’s issues with authority stemmed back to his father–almost all his life he’d been the only son of the Resistance Leader, it was no wonder he had troubles with authority figures.

Willow also found she had confused information to contend with. Knowledge of the Bearers had waned as time had passed and nowadays all knowledge was based in myth, legend and stories passed down through families in the utmost secrecy. Whispers tended to get misheard over time, and the stories ended up muddied and confused, leading to the current perplexity around the Bearers.

Willow often engaged people in conversation while she worked in the kitchens after the midday meal and covertly built a more positive image for the Bearers. Willow hoped it would start to dispense with the fear people held.

She shared what she could from the book, but Willow learnt quickly that much of what she was privy to was secretive, closely guarded by the Bearers of old. Some information Willow learnt surprised her too. Apparently, there was a fail-safe, she discovered. The Bearers could not physically or magically act in revenge. According to the book, this had existed since the beginning to prevent these immensely powerful beings from acting in revenge.

Knowledge such as this could be considered dangerous if made public, since the younger Bearers were so much more vulnerable, and some people did not react well to powerful beings. It was the old Bearers job to keep the younger Bearers in check, so a situation like this rarely, if ever, arose.

Willow found it strange that since the beginning there had always been older Bearers to train the new, since the second generation of Bearers.

Training with Felix was going well, although he was disgruntled at Willow’s perceived heavy-handedness. He was often waspish with Willow, wanting to learn the fancy stuff.

Willow couldn’t blame him for his attitude, although it grated on her nerves. She could see him growing discontent with the basics she was forcing him to revisit and repeat daily.

It eventually came to a head one hot sunny day, weeks into training. Willow was honestly surprised it had taken that long.

Willow had been reiterating the importance of the foundation footing when Felix had tossed his wooden sword aside and stomped away. From nowhere Jonathon was there, blocking his frustrated departure. Not daring to argue with Jonathon, Felix had rounded on Willow.

“What good does this do? I know these stances. You have taught me nothing of wielding a real weapon!”

Willow blinked before replying, “What I have seen of your sword prowess showed me you had not mastered the basics. You cannot learn to be a true sword master until you master those.”

“This is pointless!” Felix exploded. “You are trying to get me killed, aren't you?” He accused. “All you want is to go home and if I'm gone, then you can!”

Willow studied him before turning to walk away, having learnt from previous outbursts that this deflated him a little.

This time, however, he continued. “That’s right, run away. What else are you good for? You don’t care about anyone but yourself, do you!? Who cares about people suffering that I don’t know? If you live, who cares?” Felix shouted after her.

Willow turned. “You do not understand what you are talking about, boy.” Willow felt the colour drain from her face, hands beginning to shake as she fought to repress unpleasant memories.

Felix didn’t stop.

“Oh, I don't know? I don't think you know! How many people have you lost? How many people need to suffer or die before they are worth your attention? You can't even be bothered to train me properly to do my job!” He goaded. “Do you even know how to do the things you're supposed to be teaching me?”

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Suddenly, he ducked. Willow quirked an eyebrow as he checked the item she’d thrown: his sword.

Willow had taken hold of her own sword. She hadn’t even looked at the thing since she’d attacked the dummies, but now drew it and turned to face Felix. He had picked up his own weapon but had not unsheathed it.

Willow attacked.

Felix looked at her in panic. Even Jonathon looked on in concern. He had been ready to intervene earlier but now looked genuinely afraid Willow had snapped.

Willow didn’t hit Felix, but he found his sword flying from his hands and he looked around bewildered. Willow stepped back and waved a hand at his weapon. He eyed her suspiciously but turned to collect it. Willow pounced once more, sword at her side. She easily tossed him away from his sword before bouncing away, returning to her pseudo-relaxed stance before Felix could retaliate.

He glared balefully at her, but Willow just pointed at his sword once more, staring at him as if to say, ‘Well? What’s the issue?’

Felix monitored her as he edged toward his sword once more. This time he was more prepared for Willow’s attack and launched himself forward and managed to reach his weapon.

Willow hadn’t relented though, and Felix froze as he felt the steel resting on his shoulder.

“Dead,” Willow stated as she danced away. “Do you think the King's guard will care if you are unskilled?”

This time she allowed him to stand with his sword and unsheathe it. As soon as he had, however, she was on him and Felix finally defended himself, blocking her swipe momentarily. However, he was unused to such attacks and his sword once more went flying across the field. Willow’s foot swiped at his legs, and he landed on his behind, hard. Dazed, Felix froze once more, feeling the point of Willow’s sword on his chest. He looked up into Willow’s angry face.

Willow panted, not from the exercise but from her barely repressed anger. She sheathed her sword, eyes still pining Felix to the ground.

“I have watched my family hang, watched the life drain from my friend's eyes. I have seen people starve, seen wounds so gruesome you would never sleep again, Felix. Before you accuse me of complacency, remember that I lived in the city. I was not hidden away in a private gilded cage; separate from the very people you claim to want to protect. I have lived that life. I watched it and learnt from it: if you fight, your whole family dies for your mistake.”

Willow turned and walked away, pressing through the crowd that had grown around their fight. Jonathan tried to approach, face full of compassion, but she just shot him a look and he quickly backed off, allowing her to depart quickly. She moved quickly, refusing to cry in front of these people.

Blindly, she navigated back to her rooms. Thankfully, word had not spread back to Agnes, so the rooms were blessedly solitary. She closed and locked her doors with a firm snap and collapsed onto her bed.

Fat, stinging tears slipped down her cheeks despite her best efforts and she wept for all the people she had lost and all the people she had been forced to leave behind. She thought of her family, of Jay-jay and Olivia and Elijah, and wanted to hope that they would be fine. But after twenty years, Willow knew better.

Hope only led to pain.

Willow calmed herself quickly and moved to wash her face of the evidence. In the mirror, she studied her face as she pressed a damp cloth to her eyes. She looked weathered, a woman who had seen more than anyone should. She knew many others had seen worse. This was life.

Her face cleared, Willow moved to sit at the vanity and untied her hair and began the familiar care ritual. It was a comforting ritual, and it helped ground Willow back in the present, pushing the horrid memories to the back of her mind.

When Agnes heard the news and bustled into the room, she was shocked to find Willow languidly curled on her settee, reading the Bearers book, the picture of tranquillity belying the disquiet of the day’s events.

Willow looked up at Agnes' blustering entrance, feigning calm. She knew, of course, why Agnes had come, but did not feel like reopening those wounds for a second time that day. She hid her disquiet and requested a pot of tea. Agnes appeared confused but moved to fulfil the request.

Willow called out a moment later, requesting extra cups and a few sweet treats, and Agnes obeyed. Willow also suspected that if Agnes was informed of the details, they would soon be spread across the entire compound. She had not worked so hard to shift the people's opinions for it go out a window for some gossip. But, since Agnes knew of the incident, the Resistance Leader had probably heard of it too and, if what little she knew of him was anything to go by, she would likely be receiving a visitor soon.

Agnes returned promptly, and Willow poured herself and Agnes a cup each while they waited.

Willow took a sip and a calming breath before asking, “Well, Agnes? What is the word about the compound?”

Agnes studied her for a moment before saying, “People are saying Felix received a well-earned set down and lesson. What was said isn’t clear, but word has it Felix looked like he was trying to pull his usual tricks. You gave him a reminder that the world outside is far harder to live in than it is to hear about it from others.”

Willow nodded, noting the familiar gait outside her door. Jonathon entered when given permission and he smiled brightly at Willow. She could sense the undercurrent of concern in the set of his mouth and the way his shoulders were set, but she disregarded it and asked about his presence here.

“The Leader requests an audience at your earliest convenience, lass,” He stated. “He also requests permission to bring Felix.”

Willow smiled lazily, “Of course. I am ready for them. You’ll be with them?”

Jonathon nodded and departed. Agnes followed to refresh the pot, moving about nervously. With Willow’s lack of anger, she had no idea how this meeting would go. Willow thought perhaps her calm may be throwing the woman off and she felt her eyes on her whenever she was distracted.

Willow straightened her back and portrayed the perfect hostess at ease in her home. A moment later there was a knock at her door.