As winter progressed into warmer days, all the progress that Willow was so very proud of with Felix, seemed to deteriorate and then straight up they began to move backwards. His behaviour grew uncontrollable, his temper even more so. Willow had been trying to practise what she preached and attempted to communicate with the kid, but it continued to escalate to the point where Willow was physically standing between Felix and the other children.
When asked how she remained so passive after a particularly nasty day in which Felix had thrown some nasty comments about Willow’s situation in her face, she’d merely shrugged. “It doesn’t really bother me,” she would answer of pressed. She knew her current lessons were not the most interesting.
Every talk she tried to have with him for weeks had been easy and he had been readily able to understand the why's of the discussions, but now he simply threw every ounce of pre-teen attitude at her every chance he got. Willow of course had attempted to contact his father, but Edward had been called away, outside of the compound and would not be returning for several weeks. So, unable to contact his caregiver Willow had turned to Agnes and Jonathon.
This couple seemed to have a hand on the very pulse of the compound, always in the know about every tiny detail. Willow had stopped wondering just how Agnes knew so much of the private gossip, some of which hadn't even spread far enough to be gossip and Jonathon had proven no different.
If there was something to know, one of them would know it.
So, on evening she invited the both of them to stay for tea after dinner. Willow ignored the knowing glance the older couple shared, and she was suddenly aware that they must have taken note of her interest in Felix. She had mentioned that she had been having trouble with Felix of late and, from their reaction Willow could summarise that she had been right. There was something afoot.
Willow made small talk at first, playing hostess as always, as she ordered her thoughts in a way that would give her the answers, she needed to help Felix and continue the felicity her class had been under before.
Finally, she stated with a raised eyebrow, “I think you know why I asked you here.”
Agnes smirked and shared a conspiratorial look with her husband. “Likely,” She answered lightly. “However, we cannot be sure until you have asked.” She was teasing now, enjoying that finally, Willow had been forced to acknowledge Agnes' 'gift' for gossip.
The humour was not lost on Willow, and she laughed easily at the teasing.
“It seems you have caught me out, Agnes,” she admitted. “I have been struggling with Felix lately in all honesty. We seemed to have reached a point of respect. Maybe even beyond that,” Willow admitted, detailing her previous concerns of Felix seeing her as a replacement mother.
“But lately, it's been a complete reversal. His behaviour is worse than it was when I first met him, although he doesn't dare cross me in any significant way. His attitude is atrocious and the way he speaks to me screams of his disrespect. I don't know if it's something I've done that has angered him or if it’s some other force. You two seem to know everything that goes on here, so I thought you might be the best people to seek answers from, since his father is absent.”
As Willow had spoken, their faces had grown grim. At the mention of the mother figure fears, Agnes had smiled a small, sad sort of grimace that Willow wasn't sure of the origins of. Willow was aware the Felix's mother had died due to complications at his birth and that it had affected both Edward and Felix heavily. But beyond this was all speculation on Willow's part, based in her own admittedly limited experiences interacting with absentee parents back in Tanut.
Agnes reached for Willow's hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “It is nothing you have done wrong, Willow. I can guarantee that. In part it could be because of everything you have done right,” Agnes looked to Jonathon.
“As I am sure you can imagine, the loss of Alva, Felix's mother, was hard on Edward. He was still part of the regular foot soldiers back then and had been hesitant to leave in the first place, so close to the birth of his first child. But Alva, she was a force all her own when you got her started and she told him to stop pandering and get the work done. See she wasn't due yet and she thought he was overreacting over nothing.”
Jonathon paused to take a deep breath, “But she went into labour early. There was no way in the world Edward could have got back to her for the birth of Felix. He was reached within a day or so and was on his way back, but things went wrong with Alva quickly. The birthing bed is a dangerous place, so much can go wrong and while the healer was exceptional there is only so much you can do,” Jonathon passed the torch back to Agnes.
“I was present for the birth and while arduous, it did not seem entirely out of the normal thing for the first while. But it went downhill very quickly after young Felix was born. He was a small baby but cried as we expected. It was Alva who suffered. She was exhausted of course but as I was wiping her brow and congratulating her, she seemed to disappear from herself and began to convulse. It was severe. I worked as a birthing Croaker before I joined the resistance, and I was familiar with the signs of sickness in the birthing bed. I had seen this before, it's not common but happens often enough that I'd seen it and I took over command, instructing people to hold her still so she didn't hurt herself.” Agnes dabbed at her eyes with her sleeve.
“Ahh,” Agnes nodded understanding, “I imagine she also didn't approve of the father being present or the use of any magic based plant poultices.” She didn't seem to recognise any of us and when I told her Edward was on his way, she didn't seem to understand what that meant. She continued to convulse and vomited until it was nothing but acid before she seemed to just drift away from us, no matter how much we tried to keep her awake. She passed away the following day and Edward wouldn't arrive until the day after that.”
Agnes squeezed Willow's hand again, “We're coming up on Felix's birthday and so it’s the anniversary of his mother's death. Edward doesn't handle it well and tries to bury his grief in his work and forgets that there is a little boy who desperately needs his father.”
Willow nodded, trying to take in this new knowledge. Willow knew of what Agnes described, having presided over several births back home. In Tanut it had been called Birthing Convulsions. Willow had been taught of such things and she did her best, as did every Croaker but it had a very low survival rate. Willow only knew of one woman who had survived, but she had lost her sight and some of her fine motor skills. Willow theorised that the convulsions must have damaged something, but there was no real way to tell.
Willow explained as much to Agnes and she nodded along as Willow listed of the known symptoms.
“You were a Croaker in Tanut I take it?” Agnes smiled.
Willow shrugged, “I was the town's only healer before I was taken. I ran a little apothecary in town. I enjoyed helping people though and when I finished my Apothecary's training, I continued that work while apprenticing with the oldest Croaker in town.” Willow shrugged again, sheepishly, “I figured she'd have the most knowledge on the topic, but I was sorely mistaken. She had some very old opinions on how a birth should be handled. She refused to work with the women who did not participate in 'laying in'.”
“Ahh,” Agnes nodded understanding, “I imagine she also didn't approve of the father being present or the use of any magic based plant poultices.”
“Nope. I was horrified and quickly moved on to another woman. She was killed a year or so later and I took on several of her clients after that. It was rewarding work and it coupled with my teaching would have seen me contented for the rest of my life.”
They fell silent at the implication as they sipped at empty teacups.
Finally, Willow returned to the topic at hand, “What should I do about Felix? He should not be made to feel abandoned, although I'm sure that's not Edward's intent. I imagine a birthday party not held by his father might not be ideal for Felix.”
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Agnes nodded, “We tried to do something like that a few years ago and the poor boy was so lost. He's seen how other family's function and not having his dad there made it harder still.”
Willow nodded. “Well, how about we just invite him up here. I'll call off lessons for the day and he can spend it with us. It won't be a birthday get together. If he wants to invite some friends, we can facilitate that after.”
Jonathon nodded encouragingly and Agnes seemed to light up at the idea.
“It gives him a happy memory that he doesn't have a reference point for,” Agnes realised, and Willow nodded happily.
“Now here's what we'll do...” Willow began and they slowly the formulated a plan of events.
Over the next few days, Willow, Agnes, and Jonathon plotted a simple get together. The only problem was getting Felix to show at all. However, Willow managed to overcome this hurdle just the day before Felix's birthday. He'd been a genuine terror and very little had been accomplished in the classroom that day, Willow was exhausted from trying to keep him in line and the other children were restless because of his attitude. Finally, she'd had enough.
“Class is over for the day,” she announced after a particularly nasty tirade of nasty language from Felix. She used this to her advantage thought. Over the cacophony of clearing up made by the children and she called out to Felix.
He turned sullenly, ready to continue his tirade, although Willow didn't allow him the chance. “You will come to my rooms tomorrow,” she watched his reaction. It wasn't a positive one, so she added, “No buts. Jonathon will be by your rooms to pick you up after breakfast. I expect he will have no trouble, right?”
Felix, unable to find a loophole, nodded dourly and departed, slamming the door behind him. Willow just shrugged it off as she turned to begin escorting kids home, preparing to explain to the parents why their children were being returned early. It was well known what time of year it was, and they all knew exactly what had been happening. Agnes wasn't one to keep good gossip to herself.
Willow knew everything was ready, she was just worried about Felix's reaction. They didn't intend to make it a celebration of any sorts, Willow had full intentions of just treating it like any other day any of her students stopped by and she did intend to talk to Felix about his behaviour. More than anything, she didn't want Felix to be alone for another birthday. He'd had enough of those in his short life. And fourteen was important in Willow's mind; one more year and he would be considered too old for the school room and later this year he would likely begin an apprenticeship. Two more years and he would be considered an adult with all the fripperies that came with that title. He could join the Resistance as a soldier, he could leave home or consider marriage. The point being he didn't have many years of childhood left and fourteen was it.
Willow wondered if the celebration was treated differently here. For both boys and girls, a party would be held to announce their eligibility. Girls would wear their first full length tunics and boys would shorten theirs and wear their first full length hoes. It was considered a big deal, turning sixteen in Tanut.
That morning, Willow woke at the usual time, although she stayed in bed a little longer, not having to rush out to collect wayward children. She savoured the laziness of it all, something she didn't often allow herself before rising. She ate and dressed leisurely before sending Jonathon off to collect Felix while she looked to mending another of her dresses. They were not in poor shape, Willow was meticulous with her appearance, but the appearance of normalcy was important for this charade to work. Felix needed to know that this was any other day, if that was how he wanted to treat it.
He was soon escorted in, and Jonathon shot her a look that told Willow that Felix had done exactly as she had expected and attempted to wheedle out of this encounter.
Willow just smiled at Felix and invited him to take a seat, offering him all the usual things while she continued to sew at her dress. He seemed nervous, Willow noted.
Finally, Willow put aside the fabric and took up her own tea, encouraging Felix to take his own drink. Willow didn't even want to guess where or how Agnes had managed to find chocolate, but she wasn't complaining. Felix didn't really understand the significance, but he was overjoyed to be offered it all the same.
Willow began making small talk and quickly noticed that without his usual audience of peers, his attitude was far more like the boy she had known during winter, although he still appeared nervous. Soon she had him conversing about a small project he had been working on. The boy had taken an interest in woodworking when Willow had taken the class that way and Felix had taken the initiative and gone back repeatedly to ask questions.
Felix didn't know yet, but Edward and the woodworker were in talks about an apprenticeship later that year if that was what Felix chose although no one had yet consulted Felix about it. It was something Edward had asked Willow and Agnes to attempt, claiming his son would be more willing to speak with them about it then him. Felix seemed to have the impression that his father would be disappointed in him if he didn't become a soldier.
Felix spoke passionately about a small box he was being taught to make. It was his third project and the woodworker had stated he though Felix had a talent for it. Willow had her own suspicions about this, having noticed a few other things that were... odd about the child and she intended to use this time with him alone to see if she could ferret out the truth.
When he had finished his story Willow tried to lead it toward the answers his father wanted. “Would you want to be a woodworker?”
Felix immediately froze and Willow was quick to add in a conspiratorial whisper, “Don't worry I won't tell your dad.” He still seemed uncomfortable, and Willow made a show of observing him.
Finally, she looked up and said, voice a little louder than necessary, “Jonathon? Would you mind going to find Agnes for me?”
Jonathon gave her a sneaky wink and responded in the same tone, “Yes of course Willow. Will there be anything else?”
Willow indicated there wasn't and he quickly departed with a carefully hidden smile. Willow waited until they couldn't hear Jonathon's footsteps anymore before she returned to the conversation at hand.
Felix seemed to relax, and he whispered, “I really like making things. And the Woodworker is awesome! Doya think dad might let me have an apprenticeship if I told him how much fun it is?”
Willow made a show of thinking about it before responding. “Well, you wouldn't be able to start your apprenticeship straight away, but!” She gave him a big smile. “I'll tell you what. What if I asked him for you? Do you think that would help?”
Felix seemed to inflate and light up and he all but threw himself across her coffee table to hug her. “I think it would! He listens to you more than anyone else! He might say yes if you ask!” Willow set him on the arm of her chair. “Tell him I'll work real hard for the next year so I can be the best apprentice ever!” he suddenly seemed to wilt again, “Won't he be angry I don't want to be a soldier?”
Willow smiled and tousled his hair. “I think if you are happy, your dad will be happy.”
This didn't have desired effect of lifting his spirits, it was evident that Felix didn't believe her as he moved to retake his seat, sheepishly reaching forward to straighten the tea set he had upset. But Willow wasn't expecting miracles and she just offered him another mug of hot chocolate, to which he enthusiastically agreed.
Jonathon entered, holding Agnes' tray of snacks while she followed and shared a smile with Willow. Jonathon had made a big show of departing for Felix but had gone no further than the end of the corridor before tiptoeing back to the door. He made an excellent guard, Willow reflected as Agnes arranged the tray on her table.
“Why don't you join us, Agnes, Jonathon? We're just having a chat about some excursions we could do with the class,” she asked, innocently, shooting Felix an over exaggerated wink that he tried to stifle a giggle at, “Weren't we Felix?”
He nodded enthusiastically, still stifling his laughter and Jonathon and Agnes moved the join them.
The conversation continued in the natural way. Agnes had made sure as many of Felix's favourite treats were available and he was delighted by each one. He did occasionally shoot furtive glances at the adults around him, seeming to understand that this may have had something to do with his birthday, but the idea was never brought up and the elephant in the room was soon forgotten. At one point, Jonathon offered to fetch some of his friends, if he wanted them but Felix was content with just who was there and so the day passed easily.
Willow did address his misbehaviour in class, but he quickly grew reticent.
“I'm not going to ask you explain yourself,” she explained gently, a warm smile on her face at his bewilderment. “Every young man is entitled to his secrets. I just want you to know that if you are struggling or have a problem, there are better ways to go about. I will happily listen if you want to talk and so will Jonathon and Agnes. You can ask us anything even if you just want some company, OK.?”
Felix had just nodded mutely, and Willow had allowed Jonathon to take over, loudly talking about the other topics to draw Felix away from the topic.
All and all it was a good day, coming to an end when the small group departed for the evening meal. Felix had returned to the lovable young man he had been before, happily chatting away about whatever took his fancy.
Jonathon was to escort him back to his and Agnes' house, where he was staying while Edward was away, and Willow had knelt to pull him into a tight hug.
He had whispered to her a very quiet “Thank you.”
Willow had just smiled and whispered back, “Happy Birthday, Felix. I hope it was a good one.”
She pulled back, shared a happy smile with the boy and departed for her own rooms with Agnes.
“I think that was a success!” Agnes had announced once they were situated over tea, Willow in her nightgown.
“I think so. He seemed to have a good day. Let's hope that modifies his behaviour in my classroom! I may just go grey if it continues much longer!” Willow joked.
Agnes had laughed right along with her, and Willow had gone to bed feeling happy that she, in some small way, could have made Felix's birthday something to remember, rather than something to be forgotten.