My five day recovery to walking condition was followed by carefree days of cultivation and healing.
Feathered Blade’s attack left spiraling marks over my arms and countless other scars over my body. Such manly scars would greatly accelerate my Big Dick energy generation in certain situations, a fine reward for risking my life, though not the greatest boon that I earned that day.
Ever since the fight, I’d continuously received a steady influx of Big Dick energy. Though I was not yet advanced enough to determine its origin, I could hazard a guess. I’d seen the clips myself, recordings of my duel and speech were getting clicks on Y*utube under the username ‘junior bruh’. Each time someone watched the clip, I received a trickle of Big Dick energy. When there was a spike in viewers, the energy likewise grew from a trickle to stream.
It was a welcome aid in my recovery. However, I could not allow myself to become reliant on it. To flaunt one’s power and court public fame was as far from Dao of Chadness as a gift is from taxes.
The video also brought with itself an increased danger of retaliation, though I could not in good conscience ask my junior bruh to take it down. Not after reading the comments and seeing how much hope my humble display of Alpha cultivation techniques gave to the defeated and disenfranchised around the country. If this caused the Humming Blade sect to multiply their efforts to eliminate me and succeed, then so be it. In doing so, they would prove themselves to fear us, humans of Earth, finding the hope to fight back.
To repay the viewers for the Big Dick energy, I did my best to reply with encouraging and uplifting comments.
The energy itself I used to boost my cultivation routine.
Using the neighborhood’s buildings as an obstacle course, I ran and climbed a distance of 50km, while performing improvised Chad calisthenics at every opportunity. Moves such as one-hand-standing-flagpole-crunches, single-handed-planche atop a radio-tower, 420-spin-finger-pull-ups, and various other moves possible only to those with peak human physique and above.
Though I was seeing steady gains, my pace along the Muscles-on-Muscles wasn’t optimal. The gains I did make were largely thanks to that Y*utube video.
To make real progress, I needed an improved cultivation routine.
A plan already formulated in my mind. To pull it off, I needed to raise those around me in strength.
Thus, I focused on helping the eighteen demonic Qi cultivators.
At the peak second stage in demonic foundation realm, Laura was the strongest. In a matter of days, she’d grown from a nervous patient into a woman with confident posture and eyes of scarlet steel, but it wouldn’t be enough.
I told them of a way to advance.
“I’m grateful for everything Titan, but are you sure that’s safe?” Laura asked hesitantly.
“Mr. Chadman,” asked a thin, spectacled man known as Timothy. “Pardon, but did you not promise that we would grow stronger with the exercise you showed us? Why is this necessary? Some of us have only recently managed to leash our demonic spirits.”
“Y-y-yes. C-c-can’t we. N-not?” stuttered a middle-aged woman, Hellen. “I-I’m f-fine like this.”
I raised my hand, and the murmur quieted. “This is entirely optional, and not without its risks. The exercise may cause setbacks to some of you. To others, it may make the demon worse than it ever was. But to those who persevere, it will put the voices to rest, and allow you to wield the true power of demonic Qi—demonic transformation.
“From there begins your true journey. Though many demonic Qi cultivators embrace their inner demons, mastering them can lead to even greater gains. By facing the demonic Qi and defeating it over and over again, you can cleanse your mind, temper your spirit, and untether the woes and wounds which originally dragged you to Happyland.” I looked at Hellen, Timothy, and Laura in turn as I spoke, “Nervous temper, psychopathic tendencies, and sudden bursts of anger may all become a thing of the past, if you master demonic Qi. You have a chance at becoming your best selves again.”
Several eyes sparkled with excitement.
“As to why… I’m hoping your advancement will present me with an opportunity to grow some muscles.”
Hellen and a few others laughed.
Even Timothy, the resident psychopath, smiled. “Very well Mr. Chadman. Where shall we do this?”
We did most of our work in the basement storage, the room with the thickest walls. I let the residents with demonic Qi unleash their demons, which caused them to transform into hounds again. While wrestling them, I encouraged the residents with advanced Chad buff techniques such as [Just Do It], [You’re The Boss!], and [Believe in me who believes in you who believes in me who believes in you who believes in me!]
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Each time a resident managed to undo their demonic Qi transformation, they advanced a little.
Mr. Maxson and the rest of the staff were eager to do what they could to help. They set up a therapy corner in the basement and pulled all-nighters to help the residents overcome the truths brought to light by demonic Qi. From what little I grasped of their lingo, it seemed that modern psychology and demonic cultivation combined led to amazing breakthroughs in treatment.
Even mental conditions thought previously untreatable, such as psychopathy, were being unraveled.
By the end of the week, Timothy was tickling the lower edge of the fourth stage foundation realm. Hellen broke through the third stage, and Laura was well on her way down the fourth stage.
Her demonic form was that of a gaunt wolf of red and black, a terrifying beast as powerful as the being I wrestled all those days ago. And she kept on advancing, cultivating power by defeating the nightmares which crawled forth from her seemingly endless well of inner demons.
I was overjoyed to see my friends finally best the phantoms they’d struggled with.
There is something inexplicably magical in helping a person close to you, and seeing the help pay off. Be it a comment to cheer their day, a simple favor, or aid in time of dire need. Doesn’t matter what it is. That look of their tears turning to grins as they pick themselves up and start to forge onwards with their own strength. That’s better than even the greatest gains. That’s a reason to seek power, one 100% approved by Dao of Chadness.
It was worth sacrificing my personal progress to help them.
Between the simple cultivation routine of 50km calisthenics and overseeing demonic Qi taming, I made a few trips to visit my junior bruh.
He’d been oddly dispirited for days. Then, one day, he opened the door with a bloated face full of bruises.
“Hewwo Fifan,” junior bruh said, “Foffy if I pheef funny. Fafe huwft.”
“You didn’t attempt the Jaw Reformation stage did you?” I joked, noting my junior bruh’s strangely chipper mood.
He chuckled. “Aww chapf. You cauhft me.”
We shared a hearty laugh and as he led me to his Alpha cultivation chamber—a humble but solid home cultivation set-up with plenty of calisthenic cultivation racks and free weights. I sensed another presence.
“Thaft Fofe. Ffffofe. Fo-fe. Ro— Ow ow owie my fafe.” Junior bruh conceded, wrote ‘Rose’, and tapped it with a pen. “Fofe. My neifpouf. I hewped hew wift ftepf dad. He hit good, but I didn’t fall.”
“Ah. Say no more, junior bruh.” I rubbed his shoulder, smiling proudly. What a blessing to have such a Chad as my first junior bruh. He’d not even taken half-a-step to completing the most basic foundation of the first realm, yet he was already walking the Dao of Chadness like a true Alpha cultivator.
“Did you sense Big Dick energy while enduring his punches?”
Junior bruh shook his head.
“That’s fine. It’s difficult to sense without completing the Chad-bod.” I gave him a dozen eggs and some hot-peppers from my pant pocket, and wrote down a recipe for refining a more advanced Chad alchemy sports elixir.
“This’ll speed up your initial gains. Keep the egg-shells about pinky-nail-sized. Their roughness will help harden your throat. Enjoy it straight from the blender. You may experience sudden hair growth on your balls and chest, but don’t be alarmed. That’s normal. It’s just your body making room for more Chadness.”
Before leaving, I greeted the young lady whom junior bruh had saved. At the door, I paused to face junior bruh one last time.
“One more thing. You’ve taken a step on Dao of Chadness. Thus, you’ve earned your Alpha cultivator name. Henceforth, you may call yourself: Maxman Fightmaster.”
Junior bruh clasped my hand in a brotherly embrace. “Thank you, bruh. Thank you. I’ll be bwoud to be Makfhman Fifhmaftef!”
I nodded, and bid adieu.
Life was good. My junior bruh was set for success. My friends were healing and gaining strength. Even Mr. Maxson seemed to have rejuvenated ten years, by the potentials that demonic Qi offered for mental healthcare. Nelly, Grog, and the hounds still hadn’t returned, but I wasn’t worried. The five of them could take care of each other.
Crisp autumn sunset welcomed me home to Happyland.
I was pleasantly surprised to find Tibby waiting for me at the gates. The silent old grandma fixed her tightly squinted eyes on me, and with a hand trembling not from fear but ailments of age, showed me a message on her ancient N*kia telephone.
> Sender: Ringfingers
>
> Recipients: Iron Lullaby (group)
>
> Toodles old farts~
>
> Hope some of you all ugly mugshots survived the apocalypse. Got a new job to spread. Offer comes straight from one of these Chinese Wizards, a bigshot who oversees the City of Townberg.
>
> Track down and eliminate the man known as Titan Maximus Chadman of the Gigachad sect. The one who can prove their kill gets sponsored straight to the second realm and gets a hundred kilos of gold.
>
> And if any of ya’all old farts think you don’t need it, think again! Plastic money’s no good to these wizards, so your life savings are gone. Plus, if you reach the second realm, you supposedly get rid of arthritis, bowel issues, and even ED. The reward is as sweet as it gets in this whacked up world.
>
> Luck and may the best gun win.
I handed the cellphone back to Tibby. She got up and went inside to take her medicine.
Smile spread on my lips. Another member of the Humming Blade sect was finally after me, one that had the cunning to employ locals and use any means necessary to eliminate me. A daunting challenge, but a welcome one. I needed to make myself sharp, if I wished to prepare my brain for the eventual Big Brain stage. What better way to hone my strategic acuity than by being the target of a legendary hitman squad in their golden years?