As it turned out, even the best dish could become boring if you had too much.

At first, every new bite had been an experience. It didn’t matter if he roasted, smoked or cooked the meat, even raw, it was an unforgetful experience of rich flavour and subtle aromas.

He could even bear the pain of the metabolism pills that caused his insides to feel as if they were burning. Instead, he anticipated each of the tiny torment orbs since they’d free up space in his severely stretched stomach.

At some point, the squirrels had joined him and he had served them all different styles of meat. Steaks the size of his torso were fallen upon by groups of ravenous critters, smoked slabs of snake got eaten in minutes. They’d become amusingly vicious, staining their white fur with meat juices until they passed out with extended stomachs. Even with their number, without using the metabolism pills, they could only eat a bit.

Still, it was an orgy of massive proportions. Joseph’s time was split between washing meat, cooking, eating, sleeping, and getting additional firewood or herbs. He spent multiple days in some kind of sleep walking food coma.

Even so, at some point, even the best of experiences became dull without interruption. At that point, Mo Li Bei egged him on. The old man was strict like a drill sergeant, forcing him to feed himself until he was stretched, only to pop a pill that made him digest the food in minutes, repeating the process over and over.

At some point, he started to cook without any herbs, merely putting meat on his hot stone in a rote mimicry of actual cooking.

But he could feel the difference. At the end of the first day, his meridians already felt slightly bloated, but when he woke up the next day, they felt fine again. According to Mo Li Bei, the pills had the side effect of accelerating his spiritual metabolism too, allowing his stretched meridians to heal quicker and get used to the large amount of essence.

His meridians, initially a hair wide, slowly grew from day to day. After the first few meters of dragon-snake meat, they’d reached the standard thickness that most cultivators had.

Going beyond required him to take another medicine. He started to eat a single petal of the sickle-leaf moon lily per day, which was normally used as a poison since it incapacitated the meridians by softening the walls. If a cultivator would use Qi under the influence, the additional pressure would rupture a hole into the sensitive spiritual organ.

In his case, the buildup of essence in his channels was slow and equalized enough that it merely stretched the walls slowly.

In the end, after he’d eaten the whole snake with the help of the squirrels, and his meridian channels had grown to the thickness of his fingers. According to Mo Li Bei, it was close to impossible to grow them any further. Apparently, he had managed to go beyond the theoretical maximum by around a tenth. The old cultivator had been exasperated beyond belief, calling him a freak of nature blessed by the heavens.

It made him grin from ear to ear, but he wasn’t giving away the secret behind it. Still, the whole affair had been strenuous and he wouldn’t be able to eat meat for the next few months.

Now all that was left was to cleanse his meridians and ascend to the dantian cleansing realm and he could leave.

It was nighttime, and the last embers of his final cooking fire were glowing on the lake shore. A slight wind tickled his skin, making his hairs stand up from the refreshing coolness after a hot day.

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The sky was lit by millions of stars. It was one of the few things that made him feel at home. Even if he was stranded in a foreign world, even if every plant, animal, person and building looked strange to him, at least the sky was the same.

He stretched his legs. His belly didn’t feel like bursting anymore, and he was glad that he could stop taking the pills. While the turbo ozempic was effective, he wouldn’t miss the horrifying feeling of his organs metaphorically burning, as if his belly contained a V8 combustion engine.

He could finally relax again. He didn’t need to worry about the next steps of cultivation. He would take his time before he started to cleanse his meridians of the dragon essence. He also needed to collect the rest of the kero nuts. He’d eaten a few in between all the meat, pushing his total count slightly over nine thousand. But after he was done with his tasks, he could finally leave.

While the squirrels had been great company, they still weren’t the same as humans. He wanted to make some real friends with other cultivators, not hide in some cave or crater and advance until no one could touch him, even if they believed him to be a body-possessing demon.

As if he spoke of the devil, one squirrel joined him. It wore its helmet and had its spear with it. A scar was crossing its chest, barely healed and still furless, but the critter wore it like a mark of pride.

It walked right in front of him, making eye contact. Something was slightly different about the squirrel. Its eyes held an additional spark that hadn’t been there before, as if the confrontation and meat had changed something.

“Great teacher,” spoke the squirrel with a squeaky voice. “We will be forever in your debt. Not only did you help us slay the great beast of the lake, you gave us so much more. You taught us the Way of the nut-cracking bamboo spear, securing our food for generations. You gave us the meat of sentience, allowing some of our members to reach a new stage in their cultivation. It allowed me to finally speak to you. Please, could you grant me the honor of your name?”

Joseph looked at the squirrel with a mixture of amusement and pride. Maybe the rest of his stay wouldn’t be that bad after all.

“I’m Joseph. Do you have a name?”

“Thank you, Master Jo. This unworthy has not been granted a name. If I may be so bold, could you gift me one?”

He looked at the little squirrel in front of him. He had a hard time differentiating them and he didn’t want to give it a name solely based on its scar. It was slightly hunched over as if were an old man.

“How about Tiny?”

“Very well, master. From this day onward, I’ll be Ni of the Lineage of Ti, Protector of the Bamboo Spear Clan.” The squirrel bowed. “Great master, what will be your next move? The basin is conquered. We await your commands.”

It was weird to see one of the tricksters be so deferential. He was used to joking pranksters obsessed with nuts, not humble disciples that spoke like he was a god on earth.

“Well, in the long term, I want to leave. Nothing against you guys, but I am a human and want to get back to the other humans. In the short term, I want to get a few more of those nuts and cultivate until I am strong enough to climb the cliffs without danger.”

The squirrel touched his chin and stroked his fur, as if he were an old bearded cultivator. “There is a passage out of the basin, a secret way, the knowledge given from father to son of the clan. While we are content in this paradise, we need to prepare for all eventualities.”

It was an attractive offer for him to get out early. After the squirrel had left, he was able to confer with Mo Li Bei.

“Well, it is an attractive offer for you. You could cleanse your meridians here, but frankly, this isn’t the best place for actual cultivation. Meridian cleansing requires you to push Qi through your blocked passages to remove the impurities, or, in your case, essence. The higher the Qi concentration, the easier it’ll be to absorb Qi and create pressure in the meridians. A sect typically has Qi condensing formations, pills, and other helpful tools to create an optimal environment.”

Honestly, at the end of the day, Joseph wanted civilization back. While his stay in the basin had been pleasant, he still missed a proper bed, bath and all the other amenities humans had invented. His uncle had given him a single night in a proper bed before pushing him into his next form of seclusion. He hadn’t gotten a break in over two months now, always striving to cultivate faster just to evade this or that problem. Taking the easy way out would be a nice alternative for once.