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13 - Pyramid

It took Joseph only moments to realize that this was his chance to get out of the engagement. If he managed to get the Sect Master to marry his uncle, they’d leave him alone. After all, base on his observations, the sect master just wanted to marry off her daughter as some sort of proxy for her own happiness.

The two oldies were still staring at each other with love-struck eyes. It seemed they had forgotten about the three others sitting next to them.

Joseph tried to build eye contact with his potential bride Su Li An. If he could get her in on the plan, it would make everything easier.

The girl was still somewhat groggy from her accidental slip, but she noticed his stare quickly. As if it was a reflex, her face soured instantly.

Joseph tried to use his eyes and slight head movements to gesture to the two love-struck fools. All he got back were looks of disgust and confusion. He lifted his hands slightly over the table edge, gestured to the two oldies, gestured at himself and Su Li An, then waggled his index finger in disagreement.

Her eyes sharpened by a fraction, but instead of her understanding what he meant, she started to point at him.

“See! As soon as you are not paying attention, he makes indecent gestures at me. It is impossible for us to get along!”

In her rage, she had stood up, her chair clattering to the floor.

The fools, still holding hands, looked at her.

“Li An, it can’t be that bad. And even if it is, boys take a bit more time to grow up. That kind of behavior is perfectly normal at that age.”

Joseph couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Being young did not excuse anyone from being a prick.

“Look! Look! He’s even rolling his eyes at me.”

Joseph wanted to refute, but thought better. If he explained himself and the sect master had a similar short fuse as his uncle, he’d kiss the floor in seconds.

Instead, he dared to go on the offensive. He bowed slightly to his uncle.

“I have done nothing, uncle. While I’m not happy with the arrangement, I will fulfill my obligations, if needed.” He puffed out his chest as if he was standing behind his words.

“See, isn’t he cute?” The sect master ruffled his hair like he was a little kid. “The boy is perfectly proper. I don’t understand why you always make such a fuss out of these things. He seems honorable. He’ll definitely keep you safe.”

“Keep me safe? He looks like an opposum, ready to play dead at the first sign of danger.”

Well, that was uncalled for. Yes, he planned to do exactly what she said, but his bloodline was that of a racoon, not an opposum.

“My boy is no coward,” his uncle yelled. “Just days ago, he slew a dragon. He’ll be able to protect you just fine.”

Su Li An crossed her arms, smirking slightly. “Well, then prove it. Didn’t you and Mom meet in the pyramid of death? We could visit the pyramid too and he could show off his good sides. It would be sooo romantic.” She drew out the o to a mocking degree.

The sect master clapped once. “Such a wonderful idea. Dodo, they could walk in our steps...”

Joseph struggled to keep his laughter in. His uncle was the furthest thing he could imagine from that wacky bird.

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“Lanlan, I agree, and it’ll give the two some time to get to know each other. And it’s only a month until the pyramid opens. It’ll be the perfect opportunity for them to advance their cultivation, too. The boy had been slacking for years and in the last months, he finally started to put in some effort. A reward is long overdue.”

Suddenly suppressing his laughter got easy, since the emotion was replaced with dread. How someone could call a trip to the “Pyramid of Death” a reward was a mystery to him.

“Can someone explain to me what this death pyramid is, exactly?” he asked.

“Well, boy, I thought I already told you, but it’s one of my fondest memories. It’s this huge metal structure that’s so old, no one remembered who had built it or why. All we know is that it opens once a year to cultivators in the mortal realm, presenting all kinds of rewards if you solve some easy puzzles and kill a few people. It attracts the best talents from all around the continent, so it’s more of a networking event than an actual challenge.”

Then he winked.

“And as the saying goes: What happens in the death pyramid, stays in the death pyramid.”

“But why is it called the pyramid of death if it’s so easy?”

“Well, many of the less fortunate try their luck too, so technically, the death rate is nine out of ten.” He clapped on Joseph’s back. “But you don’t have to worry. You are a healthy boy, so it’ll be a piece of cake for you.”

Joseph gulped. That might have been true for the original Jing Bao - even if he had been described as a wastrel -, but Joseph currently had no way to defend himself at all. He’d already discovered that his talent with a spear was nil and he’d bet good money that his aptitude for other weapons was similar.

And Su Li An would definitely try to kill him while in there, staging it as if it were an accident. She’d tell her mother and his uncle some heart sobbing story about them getting close before his inevitable death and evade all responsibility for her actions.

It was a good plan. He would try to fully support her. Well, not with the actual dying part, but if he managed to fake his death convincingly enough, her story would give the whole fake death thing enough credibility for his uncle not to search for him. Then he could just walk out with the Domino of the Night Sky active, hiding in the groups of participants and start a new life somewhere far away from all this trouble.

With Mo Li Bei as his alchemy teacher, he’d be able to create and sell pills to fund his life, slowly ascending to immortality.

Joseph nodded absentmindedly. It would be a tight balance between actually surviving and trying to die, but if he had to go anyway, he should plan for the best outcome.

“I see you agree, Bao-zi. You are going to have so much fun!”

If only his survival was guaranteed.

The rest of the meeting had been somewhat amicable. Su Li An had quieted down after getting her way, and the two star-crossed lovers were still off in their own world. Te Hao, the elder of commerce who’d also attended, discussed the specifics of the trip with them before they left the Pavillion.

He had forty days to prepare himself. Then, after two days of travelling, he’d enter the pyramid alone with Su Li An.

His first stop after he was set free again was to command some servants to bring him recollections of experiences with the pyramid. He planned to stay in the sect master’s complex for the whole time, mostly focusing on training and developing a strategy for the upcoming challenge. It would stretch the hospitality, but as long as he said that he was fully focused on preparing his trip to the pyramid, he guessed it was fine.

And if he didn’t leave, he could escape all potential meetings with any of Jing Baos’ friends.

The servants took less than an hour to gather some documents and stories about the pyramid. Most of them were recollections from past, long dead sect members, but they all had a one of two vibes.

Recovered from the corpse of a dantian cleansing realm cultivator:

Day 4, morning

We lost another two of our group. Senior Sister Ming stepped on a lotus-patterned tile and vanished into a cloud of ash. Later that day, Brother He was killed by another cultivator while fighting over a Verdant Cleansing Pill of the Half Moon Cycle. I think the walls are whispering to me. They shift when no one is looking, but at night, when it is quiet, they speak of riches. I need to head in deeper...

From the diary of Young Lord Yu the Fifth:

Today I bedded another maiden from the Rain Lotus Sect. After I killed the two creeps she was fighting with, we dual cultivated on an altar of heavenly pleasure. There was also some kind of riddle with moving walls beforehand, but it was so easy that I forgot what it was.

From the sole survivor from a ten-man party of the Brutal Birch Sect:

The voices... They donT sToP. Kill. KILL THE PURE ONES.

From the diary of Young Lord Yu the Eigth:

10/10 would come again.

Recollections of the Sage Primarch of the Resting Stone Sect:

The pyramid is fraught with danger, but also opportunity. Those weak of heart and mind fall to its corruptive forces, but those with a pure soul will conquer its challenges, as long as they wear protection.