Four weeks later, sunlight hit the inside of the cultivation cave again. With a last heave, the enormous stone blocking the entrance was removed.
The cave smelled filthy. Without any kind of waste disposal system, all the toxins removed from his body had accumulated on the floor. Joseph had tried his best to wash them all into one corner, but you could only get so far with hands and water as your tools.
But he had done it. While he had lost a lot of weight because of the aggressive internal cleaning process, he had completed his body cleansing.
His organs were free from their mortal constraints. His heart pumped with a supernatural strength, his bones had gotten tougher, his tendons had the strength of steel cables and his muscles felt like hydraulic pistons.
He felt good. Too good even. There was nothing he could compare it to. His body and all his movements had gained a supernatural lightness. His strides were longer, his jumps higher and punches stronger. It felt like he had dropped some metaphysical weight that had been holding him down.
Still, his meridians hadn’t shown up. In his current state, he wouldn’t be able to progress any further on his way to immortality.
The guide at the door looked at him as if he were a particularly ugly cockroach, and to be fair, he probably smelled like one. It wasn’t the same woman that had him led to the cave. This one wore the robes of an inner sect member.
His own outer sect robes were as soiled as everything else. He had tried to wash them, but instead of restoring the original light blue, it kept to the same dirty brown coloring it had acquired in the past weeks.
Still, the senior sister bowed to him. “Congratulations on your breakthrough, Junior Brother Jing. Your uncle awaits you.”
Joseph didn’t know that he had an uncle, or how they were related. After all, when he switched to Jing Bao’s body, he didn’t get any of the memories. He would be forced to wing the meeting.
Jing Bao followed the senior cultivator down the mountain while chewing on one of the bubble gum food pills.
The weeks hadn’t been only physically hard, but also mentally harsh. Joseph had grown up in an environment where stimulation was everywhere, so being disconnected from everything had been difficult. He couldn’t even find any entertainment in his food since the bubble gum food pills tasted like nothing. He had started to chew on them for hours on end out of boredom, much to the annoyance of Mo Li Bei.
His only real entertainment had been Mo Li Bei. The old cultivator ghost had taught him various basic knowledge every cultivator should know. The biggest thing was finally getting an explanation about the first realms of cultivation.
“The first three realms of cultivation are called the mortal realms. Their name comes from the fact that all cultivators in these realms are still closer to mortals than to a real cultivator. They are still dependent on earthly urges such as food, water, and sleep. Only by breaking through will you be able to call yourself a cultivator in truth.
“The three mortal realms are body cleansing, meridian cleansing and dantian cleansing. This is why the mortal realms are sometimes called the cleansing or body realms. Their main purpose is to clean the body of its mortal attachments, so it is prepared for the way of immortals.
“The order is very important, since the further stages require purification of the previous ones. An uncleansed body will re-block cleansed meridians with impurities. Meridians actually form in a clean state and the impure body the infects them with impurities. This is why cleansing your body was so important before your meridians had fully formed.
“The realms beyond the three mortal realms? I won’t explain any details right now, but the names would be Qi Condensation, Qi Refinement and Foundation Establishment. That triplet focuses exclusively on Qi, just how the mortal realms focus on the body. They are known as the Energy Realms.
“Beyond that? Don’t worry about it. It’ll take years until that becomes relevant to you, but the focus of the next three is on the core.”
Besides the rather interesting facts about his future power progression, Mo Li Bei also forced him to learn a lot about different alchemical ingredients. So whenever he had a break from his “other duties”, he was forced to recite the shape, characteristics and effects of basic mortal realm plants, animal parts and non-organic materials.
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It had explained how the elixir he had taken was constructed: The Purity Hemp Seed was used to extract the impurities from the body, the Acid Prunes bound them up into a transportable form and the Lightning Flax Seed Oil was used to move it out of the body.
That all three ingredients already had laxative properties must’ve been on accident.
Joseph was still deep in thought over his experiences when they arrived at a compound. Based on the huge seal over the entrance that spelled the character for Jing, this must’ve been Jing Bao’s family compound.
Absently, he moved his bubble gum pill from the left to the right side. If he could get through the next few hours without any issue, he should be in the clear. Together with Mo Li Bei, he had created a cover story that would hopefully work.
With some fake projected confidence, he stepped over the doorstep.
The interior was dominated by a carefully managed garden. A single, expertly pruned tree stood in the middle of an island that was surrounded by a pond filled with koi. The fish swam with the serene confidence of a being that had never experienced an unfulfilled want. The scene exuded a peaceful aura that invited the viewer into contemplation.
Then he got thrown into the pond by a single slap on his back.
“Little Bao, you are finally back! Our little Bao-zi finally popped his seclusion chamber cherry! And he came back an entire realm stronger!”
When he had reoriented himself, Joseph was staring at a mountain of muscle only clad in pants, his robes stripped from his chest and hanging loose from his belt. He looked to be in his mid thirties and sported a boastful grin. He had a similar facial structure to Jing Bao.
Before Joseph had fully managed to stand up, he was lifted out of the water by the older cultivator. The man held him up as if he was inspecting a towel.
“Did you lose weight? You look like a stick. Can’t call you Bao-zi anymore, heh? Let’s get some meat in you, bub!”
As soon as the man had finished speaking, Joseph got yanked into one of the houses of the compound and placed in front of a low table.
“Maids, MAIDS! Bring us some of the good meat! My boy needs to eat! Now tell me, how are you feeling?”
Joseph finally found enough peace again to regain his senses properly. He was still dripping wet from head to toe, sitting in a slowly expanding water puddle that seeped into the carpet.
“I am feeling well... uncle?” He was slightly unsure about the last part.
For good measure, he bowed with clasped hands. It was never wrong to be respectful.
The man slapped on the table while laughing loudly. “That bowing and scraping stuff doesn’t suit you at all, little Bao! You’ve always been such a hellion, daring everyone to a duel at the smallest slight.”
“I- I had an epiphany while in seclusion, uncle. I am no longer the same child that entered that cave. I need to behave like a proper cultivator if I want to attain immortality.”
“Ahh, I had one of those phases too. You’ll grow out of it, don’t worry! But I don’t recommend the black eyeliner, that was a bit too much, even for me.
“Anyway,” he continued. “I’m supposed to punish you for killing that guy. He was from some minor unimportant clan, but we still need to give them some face.”
The maids had arrived and brought out a large spread of food. Joseph started to salivate at the thought of finally getting some proper food into his stomach again. He spat his thoroughly chewed bubble gum food pill onto a napkin.
“That’s nasty, boy.” His uncle’s face contracted in disgust. “I kinda want to punish you for real now.”
Joseph’s head went red. He hadn’t thought about it much, but since bubble gum wasn’t a thing in this universe, certain behaviors would look strange to the local cultivators.
He coughed before awkwardly starting to eat.
“Anyway, since we are trying to play nice with the sect, you can’t weasel your way out of this one. But!” He clapped on his knees with force. “Since you just ascended to Meridian Cleansing, I’ll pick a punishment that lets you consolidate your gains. I have just the right thing for you, boy!”
After finishing his meal, Joseph was finally allowed to take a bath. He had wondered how his uncle was able to stand the smell without issue, but that man seemed to dance to his own beat.
Only when he had stripped for the bath did Joseph realize that he was somehow already clean. It took him a moment to realize that the pond water must’ve had supernatural qualities.
Mo Li Bei was surprisingly quiet the whole time. While the floating head could vanish whenever he wanted, he preferred to buzz around like an angry bee, much to Joseph’s annoyance. But ever since he had entered the compound, the head had stayed hidden.
Joseph didn’t worry too much. He was glad that he had managed to trick his uncle without issue.
He went to bed in peace with the knowledge that whatever the next day had planned for him, he would be ready.
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Birds chirping woke him up. Joseph rubbed the sleep out of his eyes absently. Somehow, he had removed his blanket while sleeping. And his mattress felt surprisingly hard. He put one of his hands down to get up, but instead of touching the soft firmness of cloth, he got a fistful of wet earth between his fingers.
Joseph looked around himself. He was in the middle of the woods and no longer in a comfy room in a luxurious clan compound.
Moments later, he realized that there was a note stuck to his chest. He removed it and read the text:
“Welcome to your punishment! All you need to do is find your way back. Yada Yada and stuff, this should teach you some humility.
With love,
your uncle Do
P.S.: Try not to get killed <3”