If he had managed to not vomit when he visited memories, this time he could not hold it!

He vomited about 13 times after teleporting, the area started to smell like rotten eggs.

- I am so happy I am just a simple innocent parchment, imagine if a was a human and had a nose... I'd from this rotten smell, you are kiling all the flora on this place .

" Arent you such a nice and innoncent sweetheart"

Irwin tried to be ironic

" Anyway just where the hell have you brought me, and what the hell is this massive barrier like wall that I cant seem to pass through? And why is this barrier red, it looks so sinister? "

-This is what people of your kingdom call the Edge of the world .

" Wait are you telling me that this is the barrier people of the Elysium set up to protect themselves from being conquered by the great king Edmund?"

- Fool, its the other way 'round, Edmund fled from Elysium here and set up this blood formation to protect himself from them. His descendants sacrifice 100 children every year to maintain this barrier, once it falls this kingdom of yours would be destroyed within weeks. Ancient dragons live in Elysium, they arent something a puny king can defeat.

This was too much to process for Irwin, his biggest idol king Edmund, all the songs sang about him, all the books written about him..

" Are you telling me that my biggest hero is a fraud?"

-pretty much, cant believe people are foolish enough to have believed him in the first place.

Elysium is home to high elves, dragons, original humans and all the mighty races created by the Almighty Creator. Do you think you idiots could compete with them? My previous host that you saw in the memories lived in Elysium, the battle memory of him you saw was within two months after he became my host...

" Are you telling me that the super battle with the axe guy from the memories was just a children's fight? That super intensive battle? Something that felt out of legends was just a children's play? "

- pretty much kiddo, youre the most useless host I have ever had. My previous hosts would have been the strongest of your kingdom within 1 week of finding me, so work harder loser you are embarrasing me. I am starting to think I should kill you and find another host .

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Irwin was in shock, the last thing he needed was to be abandoned by the parchment who was his last means of survival, all he could do was lower himself and try pleasing it. He spent about 4 hours calling the parchment " your majesty, your reverence, your eminence etc " until the narcissistic parchment was pleased enough to not end his stupid existence.

As fake as the things he read were, he at least knew that the banished orcs lived near here so he had to do something before he becomes orc food.

But since he had no chance of defeating thousands of orcs by himself, the first thing he did was bury Melissa near to a beautiful waterfall and held a speech on her grave. Once his loyal maid was put to her eternal rest, he quickly asked the parchment for advice .

" your majesty the great unrivalled and unmatched parchment, the highest of treasures, the strongest of artifacts, guide me with your unrivalled knowledge"

- do you seriously have me who can literally create anything and any skill if you have enough energy extracted, and still have no idea what to do?

Irwin said nothing but tried to immitate a puppy, hoping the parchment would guide him somehow.

- tell me Irwin, what is your biggest wish?

" Conquest " he answered it super quickly!

- And what do you need to conquer places ?

" An Army? "

- exactly, and in this place there are thousands of orcs with half the level of your intelligence. Just imagine how easy people twice dumber than you can be manipulated? So do something to make them your army and go conquer things, worthless dumbass ....

" Well I thought about it, I can try to talk to orcs leader and make them submit, even if the plan fails I can extract enough energy for a random teleport but.."

- But ?

" So what, orcs are ugly and I want beauties, I dont even have Melissa anymore so I am lonely .

Also if I conquer with orcs I will only be feared, not admired, not have songs and stories written about me, like the great king Edmund "

- yeah like the great fraud king Edmund.

You humans are such simpletons, if you wish army of humans just turn the orcs into humans you dumbass. You have me dont you?

" can you do that? "

- as long as you extract energy, I can do anything.