The day after Lucy’s resurrection, a couple things happened. First, Lucy left for inpatient mental health care on account of her recent traumatic experiences. Second, materials for the security system upgrades started arriving. Some of these were largely pre-made and simply needed to be installed; the many and various sensors designed to keep track of student, staff, and hazard locations very much fit this category. Other pre-assembled components included things like the immobilization field projectors, which would lock a hostile entity in place and allow for easy disposal.

But there were some bits we’d need to make on site; Sharp teleportation systems weren’t something you could just buy, structural reinforcement spells were too dependent on the nature of the building, threshold wards the same.

So while the contractors installed the pre-assembled bits and added the structural warding, the teleportation systems and threshold wards would be up to me and Mr. Demouls. We were some of the only people around who could do the former, and Demouls would be one of the best people for the threshold wards.

So every day I found myself carefully assembling the teleportation units for the security system, the devices which would ensure hostiles were never in the same location as innocent bystanders.

These weren’t just complex devices involving rather expensive materials. As far as my other side’s magic was concerned, these needed the authority to decide who could be where at any given time. That meant they needed to be employees of the school. And that meant they needed pay.

Fortunately a sizable lump sum would be good for several decades, a stack of high-denomination coins taking the place of the battery in each unit. On the other hand it meant I needed to write out a full-fledged magically binding employment contract for each one, then somehow induce an inanimate object to sign it.

Considering the inherent difficulties of constructing, naming, paying, and contracting each teleporter unit, I could only get about two of them done per day without neglecting my other duties. Considering I’d need a bit more than a hundred of them for full coverage of the school, this was going to take the better part of two months.

Of course, the most expensive part of the whole system was the central control crystal. A fifteen kilogram cylindrical crystal of artificial Quartz with microscopic Mancia script throughout its whole volume. This is what would tie all the disparate elements together into a single whole, allowing it to respond reasonably intelligently to threats.

Ultimately it ended up in the boiler room, for lack of better options. The security office was too open; students went in there all the time for lost and found stuff or reporting issues. The custodial office had similar issues in terms of being too easily accessible. And putting it in the Budget’s office would result in the crystal’s functionality getting overwritten with pure finance sooner or later, no matter how much it tried to restrain itself.

In the meantime, there wasn’t much of immediate threat actually happening at the school. Jethro made plenty of visits to the on-site therapist, Demouls had to dispose of a couple mind-warping artifacts his Mancia class produced, and things generally chugged along as normal.

It was about a week before the winter solstice by the time the security system was fully installed, and ready for its final test run before full activation. Demouls had volunteered to play the Opposing Force in this specific exercise; he was the best candidate really. He had the speed, maneuverability, and combat capabilities to simulate a highly lethal combatant. Demouls also had the skill and restraint to avoid actually killing anyone, which was rather important.

There wouldn’t be much sense in trying to have this sort of thing as a surprise, so we did notify the staff and students of the generalities of what was about to happen: we needed to make sure the new security system worked properly, and Demouls would be playing the part of an attacker during the test.

The first simulated attack was a straightforward assault, trying to break through the threshold wards and force an entry. I was watching from the sidelines as Demouls charged the north side door, sword in hand. There was an impact, and a flash of severed spacetime as the professor tried to cut through, but the attempt to force entry was rebuffed. Further efforts to try cutting through the wall or doorframe were similar failures.

Looking at what happened, I felt the urge to ask Demouls, “So. How exactly did you make a barrier that can stand up to your attacks? I thought you could cut through anything.”

He smiled at me.

“I designed it to parry of course! It doesn’t matter how unstoppable the attack is if it just gets bounced off somewhere else.”

Ah. That made sense.

“So, next up we see how it handles an attempt to teleport in, I guess?”

Demouls nodded, and sliced a gash in reality leading directly to the lunch room. He sprinted through… and disappeared.

Ah, looked like it worked then. Time to check the trap. It didn’t take long to reach the main atrium, even while at a regular walking pace. When I got there, I saw Professor Demouls locked in an immobilization field. Though this one had been calibrated to be loose enough to at least allow him to talk.

“The teleportation systems work. Now can you please get to the security office and have them let me out?”

“Will do, Lawrence.”

I didn’t bother walking the long way, simply opening a door that normally lead to one of the classrooms and directly entering the security office.

“Good news everyone, the new security system works great. Now could you lot please re-register Lawrence Demouls as friendly and let him out of the immobilization field?”

The two ladies who’d ended up as the security system’s operators nodded. Sherry pressed a few switches and started typing in Mr. Demouls’ profile, while Tina continued monitoring the various sensor feeds.

After a few moments Sherry noted, “It’s done, we’ve registered Lawrence Demouls in the system.”

There were a few more tests of the system after that, making sure the various parts of it talked to each other, that it would get students and non-combat staff away from dangerous areas, and quite a few other things. But we didn’t need a simulated attacker for those, so Lawrence could get on with preparing his Mancia class for the winter examinations.

Two days after Lawrence’s close encounter with an immobilization field, it was time for full activation.

I’d opted to wait around the security office for this one. It’s not every day you got to see such an extensive integrated system like this reach full activation.

Sherry and Tina were going down the checklist, making absolutely sure they hadn’t missed anything.

“Final systems check before activation. Control crystal?”

“Readout says it’s stable, no errors logged since installation.”

“Teleportation units?”

“All coming up green, current pay period will be good for forty years.”

“Immobilization field projectors?”

“All active in standby mode, ready to go at a moment’s notice.”

“Fire suppression systems?”

“Fire suppression reads as in good working order.”

“Hazardous magic isolation fields?”

“All units ready. Estimated response time of twenty milliseconds. It should be safe to touch the Budget’s doorknob now, but I still wouldn’t risk it.”

“Structural reinforcement wards?”

“Durability enhancement and self repair are both operating nominally.”

“Threshold barriers?”

“Threshold and exterior barriers are fully active; current permeability settings require hostile intent to block passage.”

“Visual spectrum cameras?”

Tina took a minute to click through all the various feeds, “All in good working order with minimal gaps; recording buffer is set to save footage from the last four days in case something comes up later. Deliberate blind spots in bedrooms and toilets as intended.”

“Magic detector cameras?”

Another minute of clicking through the various options, “Same story here; all cameras functioning as intended.”

Seeing that everything about the security system was working exactly as intended, I remarked

“Well then, it seems like time to bring the security system to full activation status.”

Sherry and Tina smiled, “Yes. Yes it is.”

The two of them moved a few sliders, flicked a couple switches… and I could feel the slight shift in the air. It was done, the security system was fully operational and I could breathe a sigh of relief.

Checking the time, I figured lunch was in order. Getting to the lunchroom took a couple minutes of walking, and on the way it was pretty clear I wasn’t the only one who could feel the slight change in the air.

There was now a presence throughout the school, watching, waiting, and keeping everyone as safe as it possibly could. It wasn’t quite sapient, not like the budget. But it could definitely think after a fashion, especially with the guidance of its operators.

The lunch line moved relatively quickly today. Mashed potatoes, peas, and sausage for me. Jethro was at his regular spot today, and I sat across from him. He still didn’t look happy, even after two months of regular sessions with the on-site therapists.

I greeted him, “Hey Jethro. Got the new security system up and running. How’s your day been?”

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The head custodian shrugged, “It’s been a day. Had a few minor incidents to clean up, needed to call in the hazardous magic team once, but nothing actively life-threatening with proper equipment. Could have been a lot worse, I guess.”

I nodded silently as I enjoyed a bite of sausage. We all knew Jethro was still hurting from losing friends in the vampire attack, and we couldn’t bring most of them back. Even with Franz’ new… supplies, it was a lot harder to bring back someone who died all the way. Reviving a ghost was far easier.

As I ate the rest of my food, Jethro asked, “So. What’s next on your to do list?”

I finished a bite of mashed potatoes. “I need to review the final assessments before winter break. Make sure that they’ve been properly administered, and deal with any cheaters that got caught. We’re required to keep track of how the students are doing after all. This is also a good opportunity to check up on the various teachers and make sure they’re meeting standards.”

“Well, I’d say get to it then. That said I’d pay extra attention to the ones who were hired during Humbernot’s time. His hiring methods were extremely corrupt.”

I nodded in agreement. Yes there were quite a few teachers I still hadn’t looked into in all that much detail. After professor Arrence I really should have, but things just kept coming up.

So as soon as I got back to my office, I got out the staff listings for teachers. Name, subjects taught, date of hiring, everything.

Unsurprisingly, a bit less than half of the teachers were hired during Humbernot’s time. He’d had a decade, and many of the teachers that were here when he arrived quit or were dismissed during his term.

Not counting the four-man team from the National Magical Crimes Unit, there were one hundred and twelve staff at this school. Counting Mr. Slate we had thirty teachers, twenty nine if you classified him as administrative staff. There were thirteen teachers Humbernot had hired still teaching here; before Arrence was fired, one of them retired, and Gina Haskell was killed, there had been sixteen.

So I started cross-referencing the lists of teachers by subject.

Neither of the current math teachers had been hired by Humbernot.

Both science teachers predated his term.

One of the literature instructors was hired by him.

Both history teachers were hired by Humbernot; I’d need to look into that.

One of the Civics teachers was hired just before I got here.

Both of the mental health instructors were hired by Humbernot.

Both Ethics and Safety of Magic teachers were hired by Humbernot. However Mr. Slate wasn’t, and if those two were problematic he’d have dragged them to my office by their ears.

None of the Sharp subjects had anyone hired by Humbernot teaching them; all three of them signed on before he arrived.

One of the remaining Mancia teachers was hired by Humbernot, but I’d already looked into his conduct earlier during the firing of Arrence.

Both Flux teachers were hired by Humbernot. However, the restrictions on who was legally allowed to teach Flux meant that I’d already looked into them. They were satisfactory.

One of the Craft instructors was a Humbernot hire. I’d probably need to look into her.

Modern Synthesis was another class where one of the teachers was hired by Humbernot. The other was one I’d hired to replace someone who retired shortly after my arrival.

Mercifully, neither Alchemy teacher was hired by Humbernot; both of them had signed on before his term.

Reviewing the list, the two teachers for Mental Health were the highest priority to review. That was a mandatory class for all students, and for good reason. If they weren’t doing their job properly it was an active threat to the safety of everyone here.

So I started looking into them more, getting more and more unsettled as I did so. Both of them had been childrens’ ministers from the Church of Glorious Light before getting here. Their qualifications were issued by said church, instead of by any reputable medical school.

I needed to see what they were actually up to during class. Knowing them if I called them to my office or let them know they were being inspected, they would pretty everything up and be on best behavior. I would have to survey them in secret.

Fortunately, I could just use the same methods I did for Arrence. A simple “Don’t notice the inspector.” effect to cover me as I entered, and I sat back to watch how John Red taught his class.

As everyone filed in, John got to writing on the whiteboard “Submitting to Glory”

I was getting a horrible sinking feeling already.

“Alright, does everyone remember what I taught you last class? Using magic for selfish ends is an act of sin. Repeat after me.”

“I shall not sin, lest I be condemned to the frost.”

The students reluctantly repeated “I shall not sin, lest I be condemned to the frost.”

“The light of Glory forgives those who follow His will.”

“The light of Glory forgives those who follow his will.”

What followed was nothing less than an hour of blatant attempts at religious indoctrination, as John tried to shame the entire class into proclaiming their undying faith and loyalty for his god. He was blatantly preying on some very deeply personal insecurities of the students too.

I seethed in rage even as I wrote everything down. No wonder there were so many mental health issues around here! Not only were the students not being taught appropriate mental health strategies, but the time was being spent getting them to feed a monster that ate worship!

I wanted to fire John on the spot, but I needed to wait for a bit longer. I couldn’t risk alerting Jade Rose before I inspected her too. So as the class let out, I snuck off to the next one.

I didn’t have to wait long for Jade to show very similar tendencies to her co-worker. It was clear: they both had to go.

Actually on second thought this might just result in serious legal consequences for the light of Glory himself…

Thirty minutes – and several secure backups of the documentation I’d made – later, the both of them were in my office.

I started off incredibly bluntly. “Both of you are fired for gross misconduct. Before you go, there are some things I need to tell you.”

John and Jade grit their teeth in anger, but forced themselves to remain silent.

I continued, “Your god is allowed to live on a few conditions. All worshipers must be adults partaking with full informed consent. His church must meaningfully contribute to the common good. And his priests are required to conduct themselves with genuine compassion and consideration.”

I stood up, “Your actions directly jeopardize all of this. I have already informed the relevant authorities, and you can expect the church to come under severe censure and investigation due to this. It may even result in Mr. Light of Glory being killed, if he turns out to be deliberately perpetrating this behavior.”

Both of them couldn’t take this anymore, and they opened up on me.

Jade shouted, “What, how dare you, the light of Glory is superior to any mortal how dare you suggest he can be judged!”

I cast a simple silencing spell, even as my other side’s Authority kept the both of them rooted to the spot.

“Fundamentally, gods are a sub-category of monster. All of them. Like all monsters, they must either sacrifice or force someone else to do so in order to use their powers. Monsters are therefore inherently a danger to society, and unless they can prove a lack of malice they are killed to prevent the absolutely massive harm they can do.”

“Your god was only spared from this fate on promise of good behavior. I hope you both realize just how badly your actions have jeopardized that arrangement. And before you object that he cannot be killed by mere mortals: there are plenty of gods who’ve been killed before. You may leave now.”

That ‘may’ was actually a ‘will’, enforced by transcendent authority. They didn’t have a choice but to collect their personal items and leave on the next train.

Right, now to hire some actual mental health teachers. This time I’d be hiring people who got their qualifications from an actual therapist school, rather than a religious monastery. I picked up the telephone, dialed the Education Department, and called them up.

I spent the next few days thoroughly inspecting the rest of Humbernot’s hires. I only needed to fire three more people, and fortunately none of them were as damaging as those two preachers. Getting replacements in would take about a week.

I also finally got around to reading that report the two private detectives had left all that time ago; with everything going on I’d simply forgotten about it until now. As it turns out every single teacher I’d needed to fire was one of the ones those two had listed as being suspicious.

In the meantime? It was time for Winter Examinations, the bi-annual assessments of student performance and progress before a couple weeks of leisure time. Amelia, the school’s on-site therapist had agreed to assess the damage the two priests had done so I at least didn’t have to fill in for the mental health examinations.

I also didn’t have to fill in for the Craft teacher I’d needed to fire; Adam, the other instructor for the subject had agreed to do so. My other side had promptly scheduled him into two places at once, with his consent. Moderately damaging to causality? Yes. Extremely useful in situations like this? Also yes.

On the other hand, I’d needed to fire both history teachers. Which meant I did need to fill in for them on this occasion. Fortunately I at least knew enough about history to assess what the students actually knew, and I also didn’t have to actually teach.

On the other hand I did have to be in two places at once for most of the day, so I had to split up from my other side again.

Fortunately the history tests were standardized, so I didn’t need to be terribly creative about how to set it up. Unfortunately the history tests were standardized, meaning it wouldn’t actually be all that informative about how well the students had learned their history.

Still, I showed up in the classroom at the appointed time along with about thirty students.

“Right. Everyone collect your exam and answer card. If you have an exam marked A you can’t sit next to other students with an A marked exam. Same goes for B and C exams. You have one hour.”

Everyone got up and collected their exams, then got to work. What followed was a mercifully quiet period aside from the occasional request for clarification by a student. At the end of it, I collected the exam papers and everyone filed out.

There were seven more exam periods for me to sit through today, and by the time it was over I was bored out of my mind. Looking at my hands I was also starting to flicker slightly. Oh. The authorization to exist separately from the other Adrian was running out. Abruptly I found myself halfway across the school, reunited with my counterpart.

He greeted me, “So, how did it go?” via thought-speak.

“It was very boring and I missed lunch. You?”

“Boring for me too, though I actually had a lunch period. Fried noodles today.”

I grumbled, “Mind sharing those memories please?”

Other Adrian acquiesced, and I got access to his memories of lunch. Crispy fried noodles with some sort of savory sauce, chicken and vegetables mixed in. Ah.

My other self noted, “Anyway, it’s time for supper. Seeing as you didn’t get to have lunch, you pick what we eat.”

So I walked us down to the cafeteria and started picking out our food. Looked like the kitchen was still on that Eastern kick, because the options were fried rice, a couple different ways to do up chicken, egg rolls, and vegetable dumplings. I went for the fried rice, the spicy chicken, and an egg roll.

I subsequently sat myself down across from Mr. Demouls, the Mancia teacher in question pausing to greet me as I sat down.

“Hello Adrian, how’d your day go?”

I shrugged, “It was really boring, how’d yours go?”

I started munching on my egg roll as Lawrence figured out an answer, the three people in there clearly taking some time to formulate what they were going to say.

“Well, the written and multiple choice exams were rather boring. The practical tests were anything but, seeing as quite a few of the students were authorized to learn emotion-altering effects.”

Lawrence ate another spoonful of his fried rice, while I finished my egg roll. This was a lot better than the last time the chef wanted to do Eastern food. His skills in that regard had very clearly improved.

My other side asked, “I do hope you limited them to safe emotions during the test?”

Lawrence swallowed his current bite of food, “Yes, calming effects along with mild happiness or sadness only. The last thing we need is that bunch of teenagers making each other even hornier than normal.”

Dinner was soon over, and with the day basically concluded I only had a couple things to do. First, file the history exams for the new teachers to look over. Second, go to bed.

The next morning marked the start of winter break, where there wouldn’t be much in the way of conventional classes happening. That said all the students were still here at the school, and there was still paperwork for the two of me to do.

So I was in my office when Geoffrey Blue came in.

I looked up from the request for ingredients the kitchen had sent us. “Hello Geoffrey and Xiu, what brings the two of you here today?”

Geoffrey smiled, and let Xiu speak, “So we’ve been working on combining our abilities and Geoffrey’s been doing really well at Craft and Bionce! We’ve made something really neat and we want to share it with you.”

I blinked as the implication clicked into place. These kids had just done their first act of proper archmagery together. “Is it the sort of thing you can bring here, or will I need to go where it is?”

Geoffrey spoke in his own slightly more masculine voice, “It’s too big to fit through the door of our bedroom. We can’t bring it here.”

I had to see this. “Just let me finish with this form so that the kitchen can make lunch tomorrow, and I’ll be ready to come take a look at it.”

Geoffrey smiled, “Sure thing misters Adley.”

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