13: Gameshow (Neal IV)

To tell you the truth, this sucked. This sucked royally.

And he was right in the middle of everything.

And that sucked even more.

But he smiled, you know; not that he had much of a choice – what would the… demons do if he said “screw this, I’m out off here!” and went into the starlight? Imprison him? Brainwash him? Kill him? Kill him with fire? And then eat him, because you shouldn’t let a perfectly good piece of meat go to waste?

Well, Neal liked living, even if getting back to getting a bachelor degree was just a dream – because, let’s be real, there was no way he was getting back. If there was a right time to panic, this was it. The mighty human nerd masquerading as a demon lord. Just great. Just fucking great.

Just what did he do in this past life to get a karma like this?

Not that it mattered, not really.

What did matter, however, was that the yesterday’s horny dude (trademark that, heh) - whose name Neal still didn’t know and, frankly, it irked him, because he wasn’t sure if the dude just didn’t introduce himself or Neal just forgot his name – brought him to a fancy hall with a (wait for it) TV (Can you believe it? The demons had a TV! Perhaps it was worth to stay here after all…?).

- Lord Otherworlder, - the horny dude said in scratchy, gravely voice that, believe it or not, actually didn’t suit the demon at all, - please, put your hand on the Orb of Evaluation, thus showing us and yourself your physical and spiritual properties. -

It was a game, wasn’t it? A real-life MMORPG.

Kinda awesome. Neal likes. Neal really likes. So without a doubt or fear for his own safety, he put his hand on the orb.

Name: Carl Neal Neumann Species: Otherwordler (?) Level: 4 Class: Demon Lord (Sub: Scholar) Body:

Base: 70

Bonus: 50

Total: 120

Spirit:

Base: 200

Bonus: 80

Total: 280

Skills: - Titles:

The Mathematician (+30 Spirit)

The Dark Lord (+50 Body, +50 Spirit)

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And then stuff happened.

No, really.

He was now a game character with a star to his name ( - What does the star to my name mean? - Neal, obviously, didn’t waste time to ask. - It indicates that the displayed name, in fact, is false. - Which doesn’t make any sense, because Neal has always been Carl Neal Neumann, and, despite how stupid his first name he thought was, it was his and he wouldn’t change it for anything.) and he wasn’t even recognized as human.

Maybe there were no humans in this world? That this orb just didn’t recognize the human species because it never has encountered one? Yes, that makes sense. It was also kinda cool to be a unique being in this demon world, despite being just a human – a species that was never the interesting ones in games and fantasy stories.

...but it was kinda funny to see that this system believed him to be a really sophisticated lad – a scholar, so cool. So... not fantasy. See, when one gets sucked into a fantasy world, one gets a cool job like warrior, mage, or rogue, or a combat medic also know as “healer” – something that is connected to fighting big armies and so on. Not a scholar.

Suck it. He was a nerd. If they didn’t want a nerd for a demon lord, they should have summoned someone else. /insert evil laughter here/

The clearing of the horny dude’s throat brought our young demon lord know as Not-Really-Neal back to reality. - Lord Carl Neal Neumann, - he said and, hell, did it sound weird, - perhaps it would be prudent to change your… public name, or public identity, if you will, to something that is more intimidating as you as of yesterday ar, in fact, the Demon Lord and thus command respect, and I regret to inform that your name, unfortunately, is not one that would make our enemies, your enemies, tremble in fear. -

What. - Well, my parents didn’t exactly think that I would travel to a different world and become a demon lord when they named me, so, yeah, sorry for being a regular chap, - Neal said while smiling brightly and stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. - I’m kinda into the whole “Timmy the Destroyer of Worlds” aesthetic, you know . - No, they probably didn’t, but, hey, not his fault!

He really didn’t want to get renamed, thank you very much. If he absolutely had to be their demon lord and deal with his enem---

Wait, what? - What do you mean, “my enemies”? - Neal frantically pointed a finger to emphasize his point to the horny dude (he really needed to learn the guy’s name). - I don’t have any enemies! I just got here! -

The horny dude didn’t seem to understand his point despite the emphasizing with a finger. - Indeed, it is a shame. However, you, of course, would be able to continue to use your current name in private or to go incognito to mingle and learn about our lands in person. -

- You didn’t answer my question, - Neal grumbled, and, if he was a character in a shounen anime, he would have sweatdropped. The horny dude, however, did listen to him this time and was, oh, so kind to inform poor Neal of the following:

- Lord Carl Neal Neumann, our and your enemies, of course, are the humans who have summoned a hero approximately two weeks ago to attack our peaceful nation for unknown reasons and the said hero. -

There were quite the few problems with this:

1. Neal was a human;

2. Neal had no skills whatsoever to defeat these enemies;

3. Neal was a human;

4. Neal had to defeat a hero;

5. Neal, it seems, was the bad guy of this story.

Fuck.