Alright Jeff… just stay calm. I only wasted about 12 hours or so trying meditation when I could have just thought the word menu this whole time. No big deal or anything. Hey look. My core’s only light red now. Neat.
My phone started ringing all of a sudden. Sorry to whoever is calling but leave a message! I will get back to you as soon as I figure out telekinesis! And talking... The talking part is probably also important. After a bit it stopped ringing. Yep. I'm currently unable to come to the phone. Please leave a message after the beep.
Alright. Back to business now that I've calmed down… Ignore the fact that my core is still red. I'm perfectly calm. Totally calm. Anyway! Let’s take a look at this thing. MENU!
MENU:
Stats
Skills
Skill Shop
Alright. I guess the first thing to look at is Stats.
CURRENT STATS:
LEVEL: 1
XP: 0/100
VITALITY: Almost like you're staring your own death in the face!
DURABILITY: Like a diamond in the rough. (You are literally a rock now)
STRENGTH: About enough to claim the house
DEXTERITY: Top tier immobile object.
WISDOM: Enough to know to call an uber
INTELLIGENCE: Questionable at best
Yep. Just as insulting as I remember. Alright. Pretty sure I had no skills, but just going to double check. SKILLS!
Skills: NONE
Skill Points: 100
Alright. Still no skills. I would have thought for sure I’d have unlocked a meditation skill, or something given how much meditation I did. I guess that's just not how skills work then. Okay. Now for the last option. Deep breaths Jeffrey. You can do this. It’s not like I’ll be destined to be an inanimate rock for the rest of time if this doesn’t pan out or anything. Stay calm. No pressure...
Huh. Neat. My core is currently a grayish color. I know I'm some kind of mood rock but still. Nope! Stay focused self!
Alright… Big moment. SKILL SHOP!
SKILL SHOP:
Format: Skill/Skill Point Cost/Description
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* Guidebook/20 Points/Due to legal reasons, I can’t actually leave you with no help whatsoever. So, here’s a guidebook for how being a dungeon works. Also comes with the self-analysis skill in the bundle as well, since the HR department told me I am also legally required to give you an option to see your stats. This took me all night to make. I hope you choke on it. -With Love, System
* Dungeon Avatar/40 points/After I went through all the effort to make you a guidebook, I was further informed by the ethics committee that it would be ‘inhumane’ (that’s the best translation I can give you at least) to confine a being with previous mobility to an inanimate rock. I strongly disagreed with this, but after the ethics committee strong armed, ahem, I mean, persuaded me that it would be the right thing to do (for my wallet by the way. Definitely not for you. Those fines would have been massive) I threw this thing together for you. On the bright side, maybe your avatar actually could choke on the guidebook. (Also, quick note, requires mana to maintain avatar form)
* Dungeon Territory/20 points/Allows the expansion of the territory of your dungeon. This skill allows an additional dungeon floor for each level. Each level also increases potential size for each floor.
* Dungeon Material Control/20 points/Allows for the absorption and generation of materials within the dungeon. Absorption converts materials to mana, while generation consumes mana to produce materials. Higher levels increase absorption/generation rates and allow access to higher level/more complex materials. Allows spaces to be excavated and renovated for dungeon expansion.
* Monster Creation/10 points/Allows for the creation of monsters for your dungeon. Higher levels allow for more monsters and eventually for the creation of monster spawn points.
* Mana Capacity/10 points/Allows access to mana. Higher levels increase mana capacity.
* Mana Regen/10 points/Regenerate mana over time. Each level gives 1 mana/hour regen rate.
* Meditation/100000 points/This skill does literally nothing. Just figured I’d add it to commemorate the 12 hours of time you wasted. Of both your time and mine. Thanks again for all the extra work you gave me… Actually, I take that back. It does have a nice calming effect when used by most individuals. I was kind of stressed out from all the work I had to do, so I added it to calm myself down a bit. Unfortunately, due to a weird bug I can’t seem to work out, the calming effect doesn’t work on dungeons. It works fine on literally everything else. Except dungeons. Shouldn’t be an issue since, you know, dungeons aren’t sentient or anything. Oh, also for some reason I can’t figure out how to lower the skill point price, so this description might be stuck in the shop for a while until you can buy it. Enjoy! -System
Ok… Not exactly sure what to think about this. I will stay positive though! Okay! I will stay positive! Step one is to think of positive thoughts! Positive thoughts like... Umm... how I’m not resigned to being an inanimate rock! Big positive there! Or how I don’t have enough points to just buy everything! Oh wait. That definitely counts as a negative thought.
Alright. I think I have to be strategic about this then. The first thing is the guidebook. I definitely want this one. In fact, I’m definitely going to need this one, but it costs a full 5th of my available skill points.
The next option is the dungeon avatar. This would give me a body to move around in. It does cost a large chunk of my available skill points… but I’m going to get it anyway for the sake of my mental health. Being an immobile rock sucks, and I refuse to compromise my mental health for anything. So that leaves me with 60 points to spend.
After that is dungeon territory. For 20 points, it is a bit expensive, but it would allow me to expand my territory which is currently a 5-meter radius sphere. Actually, now that I think about it, since my vision is confined to the sphere, maybe my avatar would be as well? Definitely going to be getting this one.
I have to grab mana capacity and mana regen for the same reason. Since the avatar requires mana to use, I’m going to have to grab the associated skills for that. That leaves me down to 20 points total. I could grab the guidebook at this point. Monster creation is definitely a no go for the time being, since I have no desire to kill anyone. In fact, I’ll probably never grab this one given that logic.
So that leaves Material control and the guidebook as the two contenders for my last 20 points. The ability to create and absorb things for mana sounds really good. In fact, I could probably spend excess mana on objects which I could then absorb when I need more mana. Kinda like a battery, I guess. Meanwhile the guidebook could explain what exactly is going on… or it could just be a book long rant by the system on how much I’ve annoyed it…. Who knows?
Now the question is whether I should buy the guidebook or the material control…