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A new savage Beginning
Complicated emotions

Complicated emotions

Milly POV

Milly lounged on a tree branch waiting for Marlin to come back. She was a bit out of the way with a good view on where he left early in the morning and notes to herself, how she isn’t as worried as she used to be.

Marlin was out hunting boars, she felt guilty for brushing him off lately but she was frustrated, after the relief of them escaping the dance had faded. The reality of what Marlin had done and set in motion was slowly sinking in.

He had played a dangerous game, a game he had no prior knowledge of and got out scott free, he was still ranting about the dangers of that Torren guy, but she scoffed at that, why would that man, that flourished on the misery of others, worry about them two?

Even Marlin with his ludicrous perception could be wrong. He kept insisting he had never once picked up on this whole spy network thing, just the threat he had felt from Torren. “Is he coward all along”?

She shoved that notion aside quickly. She would never once set foot in the interrogation room of that Torren guy, she wasn’t one to talk about cowardice and she hated how she was constantly faced with fears nowadays, constant worry.

She idly wondered if she should break it off with Marlin. It made her eyes water. As much as she hated the worry, the emptiness that Marlin would leave behind she feared more, still the notion was there. In the last week alone she had in a fit, almost done so twice.

It was late but Marlin had indicated he wanted to try and hunt two boars today. Her group had successfully hunted a nasty pack of wolves. Easier to deal with then boars for them and they were close by. Bron had gotten a nasty gash but it had netted them 200 xp each, it had been dangerous but the thrill got to her quite a bit.

She didn’t have the same craze as Bron had, who was elated he finally got to ‘test his mettle’ but her and Kotak had felt it.

That insidious calculated thought that told you; ‘keep it up and you will gain that level in no time’. It was called xp euphoria, it had to do with gaining a significant increase percentage wise for your next level.

She saw the gnolls breach some of the schrubbery and she almost fell off the tree. They had the severed head of an Orc. Yipping and hackling gleefully repeating that “bacon”! Word in tyrant speech.

“Marlin promised them the world it seems”, she muttered.

Not long after Billy came into view with the meat and pelts of 2 boars and after came Marlin, he looked exhausted. His shield had dents all over and she could see the shaking of his legs from low stamina. He was walking straight and was greeted by a frantic Betty. And a Bradford whom Marlin waved off. Showing an empty potion bottle.

”A god damn orc”, she thought, why was she sad and not happy for Marlin? she thought and slipped off the branch and went to her tent that she had set up close by.

Quite a few tribe members had done the same for the voyage north ahead. She felt defeated somehow.

She walked into her tent and saw her father sharing a pipe with her teammates, Her father a stern man, a ‘bigger then life’ aura oozing from him.

He was always busy as the chief and she barely spoke to him over the last couple of years. He had been enraged with her behavior after she had been betrayed by that Kin boy,

He nearly excommunicated Bron for what he had done to the boy, He had been fuming about how he Expected better from them both.

Milly had always struggled with his expectations. She felt she needed to be more then she could ever be with this man.

“Ah daughter! have you greeted your betrothed”? He asked.

Milly shook her head. “No, i just saw him come back with the severed head of an orc, completely beaten and battered, he was practically on his last legs”.

Bron and Kotak both whistled and looked at her wide eyed.

she pondered a moment. “I can’t believe how reckless he is”! She snapped.

Her father burst out laughing. Milly looked at her father in indignation. “It’s not funny father! He will get himself killed”!

She was about to walk out. “So you have finally found your match and it eats at you, Milly the most talented and gifted, to be outdone by a Kin”.

She spun around ready to burst but nothing came out when she saw her father’s face.

Her father was unreadable, “your mother was similar in that regard, such competitiveness. It hurts your Utt pride to be outdone so thoroughly by him”

“What level would he have been without strife? Ahead of Kotak who is probably the most diligent person you will ever meet”? He Looked at Kotak,

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“No offense boy but talent and drive are harsh measurements to live by”. Kotak shook his head, “im not offended, i see it as a challenge”.

Milly, sit with me for a moment, boys can you give me a moment with my daughter”?

Kotak and Bron paid their respects to their chief and left.

Milly reluctantly sat down with her father.

Her father simply sat, looked at her searching, puffing his pipe.

“What would you rather have? A boy that follows you around like a dog but whimpers the moment you kick him? Or a Man that will go through hell for you and drag you out”?

Milly hung her head “a man”, she said.

Her father nodded. “Yea ive seen how terrible you are with boys, needlessly cruel I would say, all because of one bad apple, and now you are faced with a man and you don’t know what to do”.

Milly, looked at her father. “So i should just worry the rest of my life? Wondering when he will die? What kind of life will that be”?

“The same life i had with your mother”! He snapped.

“50 short but beautiful years, did you not see the love i had for her? And her for me? That’s worth it you know? The pain. Without it you won’t ever live”.

Milly sighed and looked at the small fire in front of her, letting the dancing flames cleanse her dark thoughts, losing their mother had been tough. A Dire bear had gotten to her while camping out on her own.

The pelt of that Dire bear hung over her Father’s shoulder as a cape. A constant reminder for her Father. No matter the heat or cold, he would wear it.

“How do you do it daddy? Live with the pain”? She asked.

He sighed, “you sadly get used to it, then you feel guilt for not suffering as much and then you accept it”.

He took off the bear mantle and placed it next to him, rolling his shoulders. “It took me a long time to get over the loss of your mother. I see her in you every day”.

“that’s why it frustrates me so! To see marlin do that to himself”, she deflates, “seeing how much you suffered from mother’s loss, i can’t do that, not again”.

“a coward dies many times, the courageous but once”. Het father said.

”that’s harsh father” Milly said.

”is it”? He raises an eyebrow. “It was meant as encouragement”. He takes a moment. “What do you see when you look at Marlin my love”?

”a reckless fool that fails to understand the dangers he is in”.

Her father sighs, “now take a moment and answer the question again when you can think calmly”.

”i am calm”, Milly retorted.

”I changed your diapers little girl, i know when you are lying, angry, happy or sad. Now be honest”.

Milly sighed and stared at the flames again letting it soothe her. And after a while she said.

“As a warrior he has unmatched self control. He has rage, arguably one of the worst disciplines to have and he wields it like a weapon master, handling his weapon of choice”.

She breathes. “It’s what I believe, makes his words so pleasant or hurt so much. There is such strong intent in them that cannot be denied or ignored, which only instigates that joy or anger you feel inside more”.

Her father nodded for her to keep going.

“He calculates, he has the worst talent in root and primal magic i have ever seen, yet he has wisdom behind his words comparable to a sage and then right after, he says some of the dumbest shit you can imagine”.

“he speaks often from terrible experience, his eyes always tell me how he feels. And what he feels when he looks at me is constant.

“Why do you think he earned the respect of out tribe”?

“Because he was largely responsible for uncovering all that intrigue”? Milly asks.

Her father shakes his head. “No, it’s because the moment he knew and understood the implications of what was going on consciously or subconsciously, he knew he was not enough.

that is what me and the older T’jut respect the most in that man, now that he showed us, the acceptance of his own limitations. To top it all off, he walked into a situation blind yet adapted almost instantly. Very few can do that no matter their age. Of all the youngsters that i have seen. His premature death would come as the greatest shock and bad omen”.

”greater then mine or Bron”? She asked, trembling.

“yes but yours and Bron, would tear me apart”.

”it was incredibly rare for her Father to show the gentle heart he carried, being the chief and all. And Milly feels a few tears roll down her cheeks. She Scoots closer to her dad. He wraps her arm around her and they enjoy each other’s company silently.

after a while Milly smirks.

Milly looks at her dad. “You need to go get some dad”.

Her father raised an eyebrow: “isn’t that what the younglings say, whenever they are talking about a casual fling”?

He puffs his pipe again. “I gave it a shot about a year ago, your mother’s face was suddenly everywhere, i hope i didn’t hurt that gorgeous lass too much”, he sighs.

Milly looked at her father a bit surprised. “It’s good that you are trying to move on at least. You have at least another 200 years in you”.

Her father chuckled at that.

They both spent some time in comfortable silence looking at the fire, slowly going out. Her father broke the silence.

”Milly. You know you want Marlin to succeed, so ask yourself why you want to hold him back? Is it for your own selfish pride? wanting to be better than him? Or is it true concern for his wellbeing”?

“If nothing else, take comfort in the fact that he isn’t succeeding on just his own strength. He has honorable parents, his minions and above all, you. You are partly responsible for his success or downfall,

Her father grasps her hand in his Large callused hand.

“this weary old man is at ease, seeing his gorgeous daughter smile, laugh and scream in horrid rage as that Kin does something gentle, funny or foolish. You have been more alive in the last 3 months then many of the years before”.

”He is Utt by fate now and you got to let him in or shut the door. Do you understand”?

Milly nodded, she got up and went to the cabin the gnolls showed her their ‘treasure’ as she approached and demanded more ‘bacon’, their bellies positively bursting. She promised them tomorrow. And they sighed in content.

His parents told her he had gone up to rest and she excused herself, she walked into Marlin’s humble bedroom. He was out of his armor and in simple clothing staring at the stars, she could see the turmoil in his eyes as he looked at her and spoke.

”I won’t lie. I secretly tried and sought out that orc Milly but”,

she shushed him.

She took all her clothes off and snuggled up to a surprised Marlin.

She looked him in the eyes. “I can’t stop you Marlin that much is clear, and as much as it grinds me, I think i wouldn’t have respected you as much if you if you had”. She hugged him tightly.

”what changed Milly”? He asked.

”A thought struck me after i was talking to my father”. She kissed him. “If you can already take on an orc at this stage what on earth will you be capable when you attain strength”?

That night, Unbeknownst to Marlin, Milly let Marlin in completely.